Beware Of Vampire
by Queen Of Dead Hearts
Summary: Death pale skin, blood red eyes, and beauty beyond belief. That's a good way to describe the men who came to abduct me.
1. Falling Through The Cracks

**Falling Through The Cracks**

I was sitting around watching TV in my sweatpants, waiting for my life to start, when I first met him. It was late, but it was summer, and going to bed before midnight was not an option. I was sitting on our old sofa in the TV room of my house, watching _That 70's Show. _I was dressed in my comfy navy sweatpants and my _Invader ZIM_ t-shirt. I was barefoot and had my wet curly hair pulled into a sloppy pony tail and had acne medicine smeared on the massive zit on my forehead. I was absently stroking my cat, Mr. Periwinkle, while I waited for a stupid commercial for some stupid hair dye to end. Staying true to my impatient self, I decided to go make myself a snack while I waited out the commercials.

I quietly walked out of the TV room and headed into the kitchen. The only noise was the distant sound of the TV in the other room and the gentle hum of the fridge. I puttered around the kitchen for a while concocting an elaborate ice cream sundae. I was just squirting whipped cream down my throat when the doorbell ran. I put the can down and quickly gulped down the whipped cream. I wiped my mouth and made a dash for the door. I had no idea who the hell would be coming by the house this late, but I didn't care. It was twelve o'clock, Dylan was sleeping, and if I woke him up he'd bitch to no end.

I ran for the door and speedily undid the lock and threw the door open. I was in too much of a panic about waking up Dylan that I didn't even check who it was before opening it, which was pretty stupid. The second I opened the door I realized just how stupid I was. Standing there, glad in black, was a young man. He didn't look much older then me and had death pale skin, blonde hair, and blood red eyes.

I screamed as he tackled me to the ground. I landed hard on my back, with the strange man's hand over my mouth. I struggled underneath him, screaming against his hand.  
"Easy there," he told me. Desperately, I attempted to knee him in the stomach to get free. I did, but I was pretty sure I only hurt myself. It felt like kneeing a rock.

"Hmmmm, we've got a feisty one here," the guy pinning me said.  
"Is that why you're doing this all wrong?" came a guy's voice from somewhere.

"Hey kid, here's a head's up," said the guy who had mauled me, "I'm the teacher here, you're the student. Don't tell me how to do my job."  
"My apologies master," the other voice said sarcastically, "But it looks to me like your 'captive' is about to deck you."

While the two of them had been talking, and I was being smushed underneath this guy, I had tried to reach for something to help me get free. One of his hands was over my mouth and one was holding down one of my hands, which still left one hand of mine free. I reached behind me blindly while they talked, looking for some form of weapon. Eventually I found something that definitely counted as a weapon. My little brother's baseball bat was lieing at the bottom of the staircase. Usually I flipped a bitch on him for leaving his toys lieing on the ground (seeing as I always tripped over them) but now I was especially thankful.

I grabbed the bat and reached over the guy. Sadly though, his buddy had warned him and he saw it coming. So he moved his hand off my mouth to snag the bat from me. As soon as his hand left my mouth though I started screaming. He cut off my screaming though when he clamped his hand over my mouth again.

"You better keep her quiet, Benjamin" the other guy advised.  
"Please kid," the guy on top of me, Benjamin, said, "I've been doing this since before you were born."

"You'd think you would've gotten good at by now . . ." his friend muttered.  
"Just watch and learn kid," Benjamin instructed.

Just then the guy grabbed something out of his pocket, a hand still over my mouth as he crushed me. He pulled out a role of duct tape.  
"Jesus Christ," I muttered as he momentarily released my mouth to put tape over it.

"There," he said, "Now . . ." He slid off me half way and then grabbed my legs and began pulling me. I attempted to scream as he pulled me towards the front door by my legs. I desperately grabbed at the railing next to the stairs to try and get some traction. Except that this guy was really, really strong. It was insane really. My hands slipped off quickly and he was dragging me across the floor. I screamed against the tape and struggled angrily.

"I'm watching," the guy, who I was now refering to as 'Kid' in my mind seeing as that's what Benjamin kept calling him, said, "When do I start learning?"  
"Put a sock in it kid," Benjamin instructed, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"How about I prove I know what I'm talking about," Kid said, "How about we start over and you let me handle this my way? And it'll be a lot less messy. So how 'bout it? We got a bet?"  
"Interesting proposition," he mused as he stopped pulling me, "But I know you want something out of this kid. What is it?"

"Okay, if I win, then I get to go solo," Kid said.  
"And what about if I win?"

"On the off chance that the planets align and I am, somehow, wrong then . . . well, I don't know, what do you want?" he asked.  
"Hmmm we'll discuss my conditions on the way home," Benjamin said, and suddenly he was no longer holding onto my legs. The tape disappeared off my mouth and just as I was about to scream, everything went fuzzy.

Slowly it all faded into blackness.


	2. Who Died And Made You King Of Anything?

**Who Died And Made You King Of Anything**

When I next opened my eyes I was lieing in my bed. At first, I sensed no change; it was just another lazy summer morning. But then I slowly recalled the events of last night and sprung out of bed. Ignoring the blurriness in my vision caused by getting up too fast, I bolted downstairs and to the front door. Dylan's bat was sitting exactly where it had been, by the stairs, not by the door where the man had thrown it. I looked around the foyer, searching for any sign that what had happened wasn't a dream but found none.

"Honey? What are you doing?" I spun around to face my dad, who was coming down the stairs.  
"Oh nothing . . . just looking for my cellphone," I lied.

"It's on your desk," he told me blandly.  
"Oh . . . I guess I missed it," I mumbled.

"Are you wearing your contacts?" he asked.  
"Well no . . . I just got up . . . I was gonna put them in after I had breakfast . . ."

"You should put them on when you first wake up," he said, "You're practically blind without them."  
"Uh yeah I know, I'll do that now," I mumbled, running back up the stairs.

"And clean your room while your up there!" he called after me.  
"Okay!" I called back down.

"I'm heading to work now, take good care of Dylan and Paula," he called up.  
"I will!" I called back down.

I went into the bathroom and put my contacts in before cleaning up my room. Mostly I just threw things in drawers and in my closet and sloppily made my bed. But it wasn't like it mattered or anything. Once I was done, I ran back downstairs and leaned into the TV room. My little brother and sister, Dylan and Paula, were sitting on the couch, eating _fruit loops_ and watching _Spongebob_ in their pajamas.

I was the oldest in my family sadly. And seeing as both my parents worked, I ended up babysitting most of the summer. It kind of sucked, but my mom got home at six so I was free after that and on weekends. Still though, it was a lot of babysitting. Especially since Dylan and Paula were kind of a handful. At age six, Dylan was a ball of constant energy. He was always bouncing around, building forts, fighting with me and Paula. Paula was four, and almost as annoying as Dylan. Only in her case, instead of throwing stuff at me, she was just always whining at me to play dolls with her. Don't get me wrong, I love Dylan and Paula, they just drive me completely insane.

"Morning," I said.  
"Morning," they said one after the other through mouthfuls of cereal.

"I'm going to go get some breakfast okay? You guys alright?" I checked.  
Paula nodded while Dylan gave me the thumbs up sign. "Okay cool," I said, going into the kitchen.

"Did anybody feed the animals?" I called.  
"I didn't," Dylan answered back.  
"Me either," Paula chimed in.

"Okay, I got it," I said, grabbing Mr. Periwinkle's bowl, Mrs. Periwinkle's bowl, and Killer's bowl. Mr. Periwinkle and Mrs. Periwinkle were obviously cats, and Killer was our German Shepherd.

I filled up their bowls and placed them back on the ground. The animals immediately swarmed i and dug in, as expected. I decided to make my own breakfast before I fed Bandit. I poured myself a glass of milk and put some strawberry poptarts in the toaster. While I waited for them to pop, I went back into the TV room and went over to Bandit's (our ferret) cage. He peeked his little head out of his canopy while I poured him some food.

"There you go baby," I said, closing the little door. I went back into the kitchen and tore off a paper towel to use as a makeshift plate. Once the pop tarts were done I put them on the papertowl, grabbed my milk and went back into the TV room. I sat down, cross legged, on the love seat while the kids occupied most of the bigger couch. I used the arm of the couch as a table for my milk as I nibbled on my poptarts.

It was like that for the rest of the morning. I was curled up on the loveseat watching cartoons while Paula played with her dollhouse on the floor and Dylan played his DS. They were generally good until lunch rolled around. Then they started getting whiny.

"I'm hungry," Dylan complained.  
"Okay, do you want a PB&J?" I asked, getting off my butt.

"No."  
"Just peanut butter?" I suggested, cracking my knuckles.

"No."  
"Just jelly?"

"No."  
"Okay . . . what about ham?" I suggested, getting annoyed.

"No."  
"Tuna fish?" I tried again.

"Nope," he said, shaking his head and pouting.  
"Then what the hell do you want?" I demanded in exasperation.

"Chicken nuggets," he said.  
I groaned. "Fine, I'll make you guys kid cuisine. Paula, do you want chicken nuggets too?"

"Nwo . . . I want mwacaronie and cheese," she said.  
I sighed. "The kid cuisine has chicken nuggets _and _macaroni and cheese," I tod her.

"Oh okay, I'll have that," she said.  
I rolled my eyes at their pickyness. "Okay, I'll be right back. Be good."

I went into the kitchen and heated them each up a kid cusine in the microwave. I poured them both some milk and put some ketchup with the chicken. I served them both their little meals and made myself a sandwich. After lunch they both started getting annoying again. Paula had started dancing around the room and Dylan kept throwing his toy army men at her.

"Hey! Dyaln, stop throwing stuff at your sister," I snapped.  
"Then tell her to stop dancing, it's annoying," he complained.

"Oh c'mon, dancing's fun," I urged, getting off the couch. I grabbed the remote and put on the music channel. _"I like it" _by Enrique Iglesia started playing. I started dancing around the room like a loon. Paula giggled and I grabbed her hands and we danced around together. Dylan sat on the couch, pouting.

"C'mon Dyaln," I prompted, grabbing his hand and pulling him off the couch.  
"I don't dance," he muttered.

"C'mon, I'll show you," I said, I bounced around, spinning and twirling like crazy.  
"I don't think you're doing this right," he said, looking at me like I was insane. Well, I kind of was, but that was beside the point.

"Dancing isn't about doing it right," I told him, "It's about having fun, okay?" To prove my point, I started doing all different dances in succession. I did the _Thriller _dance, the cotton-eye-joe, a mock sprinkler that caused both of them to laugh. Paula was into it immediately, dancing around just like me, trying to do the same dances as me. Dylan wasn't as into it though. So, I grabbed his hand and Paula's hand and formed a circle. I continued to dance around, spinning in a circle. Paula was laughing and having a great time, and even Dylan looked like he was having fun.

We danced for a few more songs before we all started slowing down. "Okay, that's enough," I gasped, stooping my dancing, "Let's take a break."  
They both agreed and plopped back down on the couch. I put _Spongebob _(it was on like 24/7 in the summer) back on and took my place back on the couch.

The rest of the day passed similarly. Eventually I got sick of the talking yellow sponge and grabbed my laptop. I'd put my headphones on while I went on _Facebook _and looked at videos on _Youtube. _A little after six, just as the kid's were complaining they were hungry again, my mom walked in with a pizza box. I pulled out my headphones, expecting her to say something to me.

"Hi darlings," she said, "Who wants pizza?" My mom worked as a secretary for some big office about an hour away, but she always got home before my dad anyway.  
"I do!" Dylan said, springing to his feet.  
"Mwe too!" Paula added, following his example.

"What about you Lottie?" my mom asked me.  
"Nah, I'm good. Actually I have to go get ready. I'm going to the mall with Darcy, Gwen, Naomi, and possibly Izzy. Naomi's gonna be here to pick me up an hour so . . ." I said, getting up and closing my laptop.  
"Okay . . . But make sure you eat something there," she told me as I passed her.

"I will, I will," I called patronizingly as I ran up the stairs. I dashed into my room and got ready to go.

I grabbed underwear, a bra, a pair of short jean shorts, and a black Breaking Benjamin t-shirt and went into the bathroom to take a shower. Once I was done I dried my hair and brushed my teeth. I put on some foundation and a little eyeliner. I went back into my room to adorn my wrists in colorful bands and put on a pair of earrings. Once I was done I took a step back from the mirror to get a better look at myself.

Even I had to admit that I was pretty, and I was thankful for that. I had pretty high self esteem, but it would've dropped through the floor if I was ugly or anything. I was a little short for my age, but it wasn't so bad. I was about five one but luckily I was naturally thin which balanced it out. I had white-blonde hair with the hair underneath dyed a dark brown. The roots were also dark brown, but it was more intentional then a flaw. My eyes were a crystaly blue color, outlined with black eyeliner. I had a silver rip ling and little faux diamond skull earrings on. A silver cross hung around my neck.

Once I was pleased with my appearence I slipped on my hot pink flip flops, put my cell in my pocket, and went downstairs. I loitered in the kitchen while I waited for Naomi to show up. After a few minutes, Darcy texted me saying that they were almost here.

"Mom, I'm leaving," I said as I got up.  
She looked over her shoulder at me as she made her tea. "Okay honey, you have fun, be home by midnight," she told me.

"Mom," I complained, "I'm sixteen and it's summer. Can't you extend my curfew 'til like two?"  
"Two? What are you going to do at two in the morning?" she asked in a very mom like manner.

"Does it matter? We'll just hang out or whatever," I said.  
"I don't think so Lottie," she told me.

"Ugh! Actually, you know what, never mind. I'll just sleepover Dary's tonight, okay?" I suggested. My mom didn't fully understand that Darcy's parents were the kind of parents who didn't care what they're kids did. So, she had no curfew, was allowed to have friends sleepover whenever, and could do basically anything she wanted. Which meant that I basically had no curfew tonight.

"Did her parents say it was alright?" she asked, proving my point that she didn't understand how little they cared.  
"Yeah yeah," I mumbled vaguely.

"But you're not packed," she fretted.  
"I'll just throw a change of clothes and a toothbrush in a bag and viola, I'm packed."

"Oh fine," she muttered, taking a sip of her tea.  
"Awesome," I said, running upstairs to go pack my stuff. While I was running I texted Darcy to ask her if I could sleepover. It's supposedly rude to invite yourself over someone else's house, but it's not like normal edict applies with best friends.

While I was throwing stuff into a little drawstring bag she texted back saying it was fine. I finished packing and ran downstairs just in time to answer the doorbell that had just rang. I threw it open to reveal my best friend ever, Darcy. Darcy was a few inches taller then me with insane hair. It was originally a mousy brown color but none of that remained after many hair dyeing sessions. Now it was black with sections of it a reddish brown or blonde. She had it layered and razored with a poof in the back, very emo badass. She was pale, more so then me, and had an eyebrow ring to prove just how badass she was.

"Hola senorita Lottie," she said jokingly in Spanish.  
"Hola senorita smart ass," I returned.

She laughed. "C'mon loser let's go," she said, tugging my hand.  
"Bye mom!" I called back inside as I closed the door, "See you tomorrow!"

I barely got the door closed by the time Darcy was dragging me down the steps and towards our friend Naomi's beat up car. I climbed in back with Darcy; Izzy was already sitting back there. Naomi and Gwen were up front.  
"Hey Lots," Izzy greeted me.

"You just made a nickname out of a nickname. Lazy much?" I asked, "Iz?"  
"But I am lazy," she whined. Izzy was a junior, just like me. She was a lot taller then me, and tanner too with long curly auburn hair.

"This is true," I agreed, "Are you gonna sleep over Darcy's too?"  
"Yeah totally," she said.

"What about you Gwen?" Darcy asked, leaning forward so that her elbows were resting on the little tray between the two front seats.  
"Hmmmm . . . yeah sure, I'll ask my mom," she said. Gwen was a very pretty African American girl with billows of loose black curls.

"Niamoi? You in?" Darcy asked.  
"I'll see," she said. Now Naomi was a senior, a year older then the rest of us. She was of some kind of Asian background but I really never bothered to ask what. She was pale, probably just as pale as me, with short dark brown hair and big eyes.

"Bitchin," I said. We chatted for the entire ride to the mall, talking about our usual crap. When we got there, we walked around, laughing and talking loudly like always. We didn't buy that much, just little things here and there. We mostly just went to hang out and scope out hot guys. We all took notice of one particularly hot guy when we were heading over to _Spencer's _to look at accessories.

"I'm just saying that there is no way Valerie Deacon is a virgin," Darcy was saying, "It's just not possible."  
"I'm not saying I believe it," Gwen said, "I'm just saying that she says she is."

"Cheese and freakin rice," Izzy said in a slightly hushed voice, nodding to something to my left, "Look at that hottie over there."  
Simultaneously we all turned to look where Izzy had gestured. Leaning up against the wall next to a _AT&T _store was the hottest guy I'd ever laid eyes on. He had long-ish (as in reaching his ears) straightened black hair. He was pale with a face like a freaking angel. He had a ring in his full lowe lip and big eyes that I couldn't tell the color of from a distance. He was wearing black jeans with chains hanging off them and a white _I heart Haters _t-shirt. He was leaning against the wall lazily and had a lollipop in his mouth.

"Holy crap," I muttered, just as the guy's eyes flickered up to our passing group. He held out his hand and curled his fingers towards himself in a universal _come here _gesture. I gave him a startled look and pointed at myself in question as my group stopped dead in it's tracks. I was pretty, but not pretty enough for a guy that hot.

He nodded and made the gesture again.  
"What do I do?" I whispered to my friends, although somehow I knew he could hear me, even though he was far enough away that it shouldn't of been possible.

"Go you big dummy!" Darcy said lowly.  
"Okay, okay," I said, walking over to him. I looked back over once at my friends as they went to go sit on a bench next to the pretzel shop across from where the guy was.

"Uh can I help you?" I asked when I was next to him. Now that I was closer I could see that his eyes were a darkish purple color, kind of unnatural looking really.  
"Yes actually. I'm in the need of the assistance of a Charlotte Helling." The first word out of his perfect mouth and I knew who he was. It was the guy from last night, Kid. I knew it wasn't a dream! I knew it.

"It's you," I gasped, "You-you're Kid."  
"Excuse me?" he asked and if I wasn't in shock I would've been mesmerized by the movement of his lips.

"You're the guy from last night-you were with that Benjamin guy-you tried to kill me!" I exclaimed in a slightly hushed voice to avoid notice from passerbys.  
"I should've known Ben wasn't capable of a simple memory wipe . . ." he muttered under his breath.

"So it's true; you did try to kill me!"  
"You know, I bet he did this on purpose to screw with me. Well if that little bastard thinks this is going to slow me down then he's got another thing coming. I am _not _losing this bet," he mumbled, more to himself then to me.

"Hello? Victim here? You tried to kill me, remember?" I said, snapping my fingers in his face, trying to get the attention of this probably-not-human killer. I was big into fantasy stuff like witches and werewolves and stuff like that. So when something as weird as _this _happened, I was the first to assume paranormal activity.  
"First of all," he said, "That was Ben, not me, I'm just his sidekick, for now anyway. And secondly, what makes you think we were trying to kill you?"

"Hmmm, uh, I don't know," I said with mock consideration, "You kind of broke into my house and assaulted me."  
"It's not really 'breaking in' if you open the door for us," he pointed out.

"Well I didn't know you were going to try to kill me!" I hissed quietly.  
"For the millionth time; we are not trying to kill you," he said precisely, like he was talking to a stubborn child, "We never intend to kill you in the future. Now, I need you to come with me."

"Not on your life!" I exclaimed, "Do you think I'm that stupid?"  
"Well you did answer the door at twelve o'clock at night without checking to see who it was . . ." he trailed off.

"Not the point," I said.  
"You're right, surprisingly. The point is that I need you to come with me."

"No flipping way," I told him.  
"C'mon . . . I promise nobody's going to hurt you," he said, his big murky purple eyes boring into mine, pushing me to submit.

I nearly did. "No," I said with some amount of effort, crossing my arms over my chest to emphasise.  
"Why not?" he purred, his cloudy eyes still staring at me.

"Because you are crazy, and you broke into my house, _and _I'd really rather not be brought back to some weird lair and be eaten by you and your other demon friends."  
"Okay, let's get one thing straight here, I am not a demon," he said, dropping the persuasive thing.

"Then what the hell are you!" I demanded, trying to keep my tone down. His voice seemed to be naturally quiet, like he always expected someone to be eavesdropping. My voice, on the other hand, naturally projected, making it impossible for someone to eavesdrop because anyone within a twenty foot radius could hear me clear as day. It was a consistent effort on my part then to keep my voice down.

"Irrelevant," he said brusquely.  
"Actually, that's pretty damn relevant," I snapped, "Almost as relevant as why the hell you _people _(if you are people) are harassing me!"

"You'll see Charlotte," he said, smirking in an almost threatening way, "You have a week to chose whether or not you'll come with me. I know you'll chose right."  
"Why don't you just drag me there?" I taunted, "Your friend Benjamin seemed pretty damn strong-what are you not as strong as him? Are you incapable of physically kidnapping me?"

"Oh believe you me, I'm fully capable of bodily dragging you back to HQ," he said, his voice low and dangerous, "Actually, I could easily abduct you and your little buddies over there without so much as exerting any effort. Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to. This is a test. I'm trying to prove that it's possible to persuade a human to come with us willingly. The frequent abductions get messy most of the time. This would be easier."

"Yeah, I'm sure it would, if I would ever go with you of my own free will," I scoffed.  
"You will come with me," he said lowly.

He hadn't said it like an order, more like a fact, but I still decided to respond as if he was telling me what to do. "Uh excuse me? Who died and made you the boss of me?" I demanded.  
"A lot of people," he said, his voice a dangerous snarl, "And you're lucky you're not one of them."

"Whatever," I said arrogantly even though I was scared out of my mind, "I'm not listening to your crazy talk anymore."  
"Suit yourself Charlotte," he said.

"How do you know my name anyway?" I demanded.  
"I know a lot of things about you Charlotte," he purred, leaning in a little closer to me.

"And I know nothing about you. Seems fair," I said sarcastically, "I don't even know your name."  
"Ghost," he said simply.

"Ghost? You gotta be kidding me. No mother would name their son Ghost; I don't care what species you are. It's not possible."  
"Ghost is my nickname," he said as if that was obvious.

"Well what's your real name?" I asked.  
"Oh I don't think so Ms. Helling," he said, "You're not getting any more information out of me until you promise to come with me."

"Well good luck with that," I snorted even though I was actually petrified and I felt like my legs were turning to jelly.  
He took a step closer to me and leaned over to whisper in my ear. His warm breath tickled my flesh. "I don't need luck," he murmured.

He straightened up then and looked down at me, he was a full head taller then me, with a bit of amusement. "I'll be watching you sweetheart," he said in a syrupy-sweet voice that somehow sounded threatening. I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn't make any words come out. I nearly fainted when, with a smirk, he took the red lollipop out of his mouth and placed it in my open mouth.

"That was for your audience," he murmured before walking away. He turned around once and mouthed the words "Chose wisely Charlotte." The second he was gone I was swarmed by my friends. I should've known they'd have been watching intently from a distance. No wonder he'd used the word audeince; he must've known they were watching us.

"Oh my God did that really just happen?" Gwen demanded.  
"I can not believe that just happened," Naomi said precisely.  
"Jesus! Could he be any more flirty?" Izzy exclaimed.  
"Dude, that's the hottest guy I've ever seen and you already have his saliva in your mouth after two minutes. Props, girl, mad props," Darcy said.

"I can not believe he did that," I said slowly after a moment of shocked silence. I still had the lollipop in my mouth.  
"Please tell me you gave him your number or I swear to God I'll beat you," Darcy threatened.

"He knows where to find me," I mumbled vaguely. He certainly knew where to find me.  
"Good, or I would've slapped you," she said, "That's the hottest guy I've ever seen and he made it _so _clear that he's into you!"

Into me? Please, he was trying to get me to be some kind of freaky sacrifice or something.

"What's his name?" Gwen wondered excitedly.  
"Ghost," I said.

"Ghost?" Naomi asked skeptically.  
"Yeah, it's his nickname," I murmured, sort of sounding like I was in my trance. I was kind of lost in thought at the moment.

"That's hot," Gwen said.  
"Everything about that boy is hot," Izzy chimed in.  
"No kidding," Naomi agreed.  
"Hot doesn't even cover it. More like unimaginably sexy. Just thinking about him makes me want to make love to him all night . . ." Leave it to Darcy to be gross.

"Ew Darcy!" Izzy squealed, "You're so nasty!"  
"You'd be surprised how many guys are attracted to that sort of thing," she said and the entire group, aside from me, started laughing.

"Hey," Gwen said, shoving my shoulder lightly, "You all right?"  
"Yeah of course," I mumbled, snapping out of my little world.

"Well why aren't you more excited!" Naomi demanded.  
"Yeah there's a totally hot guy whose totally into you!" Izzy chimed in.  
"Not to mention that he was bold enough to talk to you directly," Gwen added.  
"And put his saliva in your mouth . . ." Darcy threw in.

"Yeah, so why aren't you excited?" Naomi asked.  
"I am, I am," I lied, "Whoa, I just can't believe he actually did that."

"I can," Izzy said, "You're like really pretty and cool."  
"Why thank you Iz," I said in a mock formal voice, trying to sound normal.

"When we get back to my house, major deets are in order," Darcy said, "Tell us _everything._"  
"Yeah sure, totally."

And I'll be sure to mention how he's trying to bring me back to his lair as a snack for him and his demon buddies . . .or well, something along those lines.


	3. Behind Those Eyes You Hide

**Behind Those Eyes You Hide**

Sleep. What is sleep but a luxury I could not afford? I laid awake each night, knowing that Ghost was out there, watching me. My blinds were closed, my door locked, and the lights off but somehow, I knew that he could still see me. I didn't know how . . . but I could just feel his presence nearby every time I tried to sleep. I felt like a tweaking insomniac as I laid awake every night tossing and turning until I couldn't take it any more and had to do something. Then I'd turn on the lights and go on my laptop to read fanfics until morning. This went on for several days after the incident.

I'd gotten through the sleepover, making up details about my encounter with Ghost easily. After all, I was an aspiring wirter/actress so lieing was second nature to me. Honestly though, a combination writer/actress was the ultimate liar. Writers had the creativity to make up believable stories on the spot and actors had the talent to deliver the line convincingly. So the girls believed my story without any suspiciouns. We stayed up all night so I didn't have to worry about trying to sleep yet.

But the next day when I went home to watch the kiddies I was a jittery wreck. I hung out in the secluded TV room all day, refusing to leave the windowless haven, surely Ghost couldn't see me in there? But somehow I knew he could. That night, sleep evaded me. I hadn't slept at all at the sleepover, but I still couldn't make myself sleep. The next day was just like the day before. I stayed holed up in my cave, turning down Darcy's invitation to go to the movies with the vague excuse of not feeling well.

That night was the same, I still hadn't slept. That made a solid seventy two hours since I last slept - I knew the crash was coming, I was probably going to pass out sooner or later. But for the time being, I was running on nervous adrenaline and coffee. It was a Saturday so my mom was off from work and had taken Dylan and Paula to the lake. I was sitting in the TV room, attempting to watch _Degrassi. _I was hoping that the highschool drama and hot guys would distract me from my own problems like it always did, but it wasn't working this time.

I was home alone, curled up on the couch and shaking like a heroin addict looking for a fix. Actually, I probably seemed more like a tweaker then someone who did heroin . . .I was way too jittery. My eyes nervously flashed to the door every few seconds, my shaking hands gripping Dylan's baseball bat. I doubted it would ever do me much good but it still made me feel better.

When a silky voice said, "Nervous Charlotte?" from nowhere I could see, I literally jumped right off the couch. The bat was clenched in my hands as I searched for Ghost. Suddenly he appeared, leaning against the wall next to the TV. The door was still closed and there were no windows he could've come in from. He really was like a ghost. Although, somehow I doubted he really was one. Benjamin had physically tackled me-ghosts couldn't do that. And Ghost was obviously the same 'species' as Benjamin.

Still, I didn't get how he could've gotten in here. He looked slightly bemused by my frazzled state. He smirked as his bright red eyes bore into me. He must've been wearing contacts at the mall-blue contacts over his scarlet irises would probably create that murky purple color. He had his signature lollipop in his mouth. He had slightly different clothes on though. The black skinny jeans with the chains looked basically the same but he was wearing an _Invader ZIM_ t-shirt, I had a feeling he was mocking me.

Somehow, now that I could _see _him I didn't feel as nervous. Knowing that some invisible, well, _ghost _basically was watching me was a lot more frightening then talking to a physical person. At least this way I could see what I was up against.

"How did you do that?" I demanded.  
"Uh uh uh," he said, "I told you, you're not getting anything out of me until you promise to come with me."

"There is a better chance that I will spontaneously burst into flames," I said.  
"What if I told you I could make that happen?" he taunted.

"Just leave me alone, okay?" I snapped, "I'll never go with you. Pick someone else."  
"No can do Charlotte," he said, "Boss wants you."

"Well you can tell your 'boss' where to shove it," I retorted heatedly. I hadn't slept in three days, I was _not_ in the mood for this crap.  
"I've got a better idea. How about you come with me and then you can tell him yourself?" he suggested.

"Look here buddy," I growled, "I'm not in the mood for this shit right now. So just leave me the hell alone."  
"I can't do that Charlotte. You see, if you don't come with me, I will be hassled to no end."

"Well you know what? You can just go cry yourself a river and then go drown in it," I snapped, "Because I don't care."  
"This doesn't just benefit me Charlotte," he said, "It will benefit you too."

"It's Lottie," I muttered angrily, "Not Charlotte. Now go away. I'm not coming with you and I'm way too tired to deal with you."  
"What if I told you there was a way you would never have to be tired again?"

"I'd say you were crazy," I snapped.  
"Really?" he asked, approaching me with undeniable grace. He placed a cold hand on my shoulder and then suddenly I felt a jolt of something. It was like I'd eaten an entire pillowcase full of Halloween candy or drank an entire six pack of Monster. All of a sudden, the fatigue faded and I was full of energy. I could actually feel the bags under my eyes disapearing and my skin regain some of it's color.

He took his hand away but the feeling remained. I still felt completly energized.  
"How did you do that?" I asked in an awed voice.

"Come with me and you'll find out," he offered.  
"No . . . I don't trust you," I said.

"Why not?"  
"First off, you threaten me on a regular basis. Second, you just broke into my house. And thirdly, I'm pretty sure you're a Vampire or something."

"And does that mean I can't be trusted?"  
"So you are a Vampire?" I asked.

"Did you forget what I told you?" he asked, "No more answers until you promise to come with me."  
"Well that's never going to happen," I said, "I can't trust you."

"What could I do to make you trust me?" he asked.  
"Nothing. I could never trust you. Even if you were human, you're the kind of person that can't be trusted, I can tell."

"Judgy must?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.  
"I'll be judgemental if I want," I said haughtily, "You said you had to convince me to come, meaning I get to choose. I choose not to trust you."

"You know," he growled, getting annoyed, "If I fail, they're just going to go with traditional methods of bringing you back to HQ. And once they turn you, I'll be sure to make your life as unpleasant as possible for humiliating me like this."  
"Wait-turn me? Turn me into what?" I demanded.

"That's for me to know and you to stay up all night tossing and turning about," he said nastily, "Best of luck."  
"Wait-we're not done here!" I said, realizing that he was about to leave.  
"You're right," he said with a dangerous smirk, "We've only just begun Charlotte." And then he faded into nothing, like a disappearing trick.

"It's freaking Lottie damnit," I grumbled.


	4. Go Along With Insanity

**Go Along With Insanity**

_I'm not afraid of Ghost. I'm not afraid of Ghost, _I thought over and over again. No matter how many times I told myself that I couldn't make it true. I was terrified-not so much of Ghost but of what he represented. Somehow, I knew he wasn't lieing when he'd promised not to hurt me. But still, his presence meant that _somebody was watching me. _And how was I to be sure of when he was watching me?

Was he watching me while I was getting dressed? While I was taking a shower? When I was sleeping? Somehow I doubted that he spied on me while I was getting dressed or bathing, he seemed to be all about business and his stupid bet, I just couldn't imagine him doing sceevy things like that to amuse himself. Although I had a good feeling that he watched me while I slept.

I didn't see him again 'til the next night. I was getting ready for bed, brushing my teeth in the bathroom. Everyone else was already sleep, which was the time I felt most nervous after my first encounter with Ghost. I was trying to act like my usual happy self, because it didn't feel right for me to be all jittery and paranoid. Besides, it had been nearly five days since Ghost had made his bet, that meant he only had two days left to convince me before he would lose. Then he'd leave me alone . . . I hoped.

So, trying to stay upbeat, I bounced around the bathroom as I brushed my teeth, humming tunelessly to myself.  
"That's a cute little dance you got there," came a voice; Ghost's voice to be exact.

I didn't jump or startle like I did last time; I was expecting another visit from him sometime soon. Taking my tooth brush out of my mouth, I rinsed my mouth out with a deliberately unconcerned air. Calmly, I wiped my mouth and looked at him. He was leaning in my doorway, smirking. He didn't have his signature lollipop in his mouth, surprisingly. He had on dark skinny jeans just like always, a pair of converse sneakers, and a _Hollywood Undead _t-shirt. He dressed very normal, just like a normal dark teenager. He looked the part completly- the straight black hair, emo bangs, and lip ring gave it a nice touch. But I knew- I knew that it was all an act. A disguise to appear normal. Well his blood red eyes ruined that facade.

"Hello Ghost," I said curtly, "I've been expecting a visit from you."  
"Oh really? You've been expecting it," he said with a sarcastically superior way about him, "Well that won't do. I'd hate to think that I'm becoming predictable."  
"Not predictable . . . more like tediously repetitive," I said haughtily.

"Oh oh oh. Ben was right; you are feisty," he observed, "No wonder boss wants you so badly. I always assumed it was because you're so damn cute."  
"Oh shut up," I snapped. It wasn't a compliment coming from him, I could tell by his tone, he meant it to be demeaning.

"See? Feisty," he said, gesturing to me.  
I glowered at him, knowing that my blue eyed glares were no match for his scarlet eyed stares that seemed to be like a mental slap in the face even if his expression was blank. Whenever he stared at me with those demon eyes and neutral expression I felt like I was in the presence of some kind of self contained predator. Almost like he was toning down his power even though it seemed like he was showing off.

"You should probably just go get lost now," I told him, crossing my arms and turning away from him, "Seeing as I'm not going to go with you. Not now. Not ever."  
"Are you sure there isn't anything I could do to convince you?" he purred, "Anything to make it worth your while?" His voice had abruptly switched from smug and efficient to silkily persuasive.

"Yes," I said stubbornly. I knew what game he was playing at and I wasn't going to fall for it. I didn't hear him walk closer to me so I was slightly startled when I felt his arms wrap around me from behind. I didn't let my surprise show though as he pulled me close to him, pressing me against his body.

"There must be something," he murmured as I felt his lips against my neck, "Something you want."  
I had to work hard to keep from losing my cool . . . or feinting. I mean, this super creepy yet super hot guy was freaking nuzzling my neck for God's sake!

"No," I said, the hard shell of my voice cracking a bit.  
"C'mon there's gotta be something," he cooed seductively and I could feel his lips moving against my skin, "Something I could do for you."

"Sleeping around to get what you want?" I snapped, "That's low. Even for you."  
"You don't know how low I can go," he purred silkily.

I could feel the words forming on his lips against my neck and I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to have those lips against mine. I quickly shoved the idea of it out of my head. I couldn't let him get to me like that. I knew what he was doing. I may have only had a few encounters with this guy, but being the observant person I was, already had a good idea of what he was all about. I could tell that he was highly goal oriented and had high expectations of himself. Failure wasn't an option for him. He would do anything - and I had a good feeling that that meant _anything - _to get what he wanted - to win. He didn't seem like the kind of person who accepted anything less then perfect. He _had _to win. He seemed particularly obsessed with this bet of his and refused to lose. He would do anything he had to to win.

"You make me sick," I snapped, trying to pull out of his grasp but unable to, "Is this bet really so important to you that you would sleep with me just to win?"  
"Yes . . . I'm prepared to do _anything_," he murmured and I could sense the sexual implications behind his words, "Anything to get you to come back with me."

"Are you prepared to answer my questions?" I asked.  
"If I do will you come with me?" he asked, his voice losing the seductive tone, but he still held onto me and had his lips against the side of my neck. Like he was waiting for my confirmation that this wasn't a bluff before he gave up his compromising position.

"Yes," I promised. I didn't want to but I'd just realized how entirely focused Ghost was on this goal of his. And what he was willing to do to accomplish it. If he was willing to sleep with me to win then who knew what else he'd be willing to do. And maybe next time it wouldn't be as pleasant. Maybe next time it would be violent.

"Well that was easier then expected," he said, releasing me and pulling away.  
"Not as easy as you," I muttered.

He gave me one of those intolerant red-eyed stares of his - letting me know that he appreciate the joke.  
"Tell anybody back at HQ about that and I will physically harm you," he vowed.

"Tell them what?" I asked sarcastically, "That you were offering your sexual services to me just to get me to go with you?"  
"Exactly," he said, "The guys would just go to town with that, so I'm going to have to ask you not to bring it up. Now go put some clothes on, we're leaving."

"I hope you have a car," I said, leaving the bathroom with him hot on my heels.  
"That I do," he said.

"And I hope you're old enough to drive said car," I added. He looked old enough, but I was really just wondering if he had a licence.  
"I'm seventeen-I think I'm old enough to drive," he said with slight sarcasm - unintentionaly answering one of the questions I had planned to ask-concerning his age. He was younger then I expected considering how confident and experienced he acted. Especially since he was probably a vampire or something - he could've been any age. Then I remembered Benjamin saying that he'd been doing 'this' since before he was before and constantly calling him kid and it all made sense.

"Wait here," I commanded, slipping into my room and closing it behind me. I locked it, even though I had a feeling he could still get in if he really wanted to. I shrugged out of my camisole and shorts, putting on ripped skinny jeans and a black tank top. As a bit of an afterthought, I grabbed a black hoodie and zipped it up. It was late so it was bound to be a little chilly. Also assuming it was going to be cold, I put some socks on and slipped my feet into my sneakers.

Stuffing my cell phone and my house key into my pocket, I came out of my room to find Ghost leaning against the wall opposite my room - right next to Dylan's room. Looking at Dylan's room reminded me of my family. I needed to know that they wouldn't worry about me. That I would see them again.  
"I'll come back right?" I whispered nervously, too worried about never seeing my family again to keep up my tough appearance.

"Yes," he said, "I promise."  
For some reason I believed him. There was something in his usually mask like face that told me that he understood why I wanted to know. Like he'd been in my position before.

"Before morning?" I asked, trying to keep my voice down, "I don't want my family to worry."  
He nodded gravely, his red eyes looking pained for a brief moment. "I promise," he said just as the look in his eyes evaporated.

"You better not be lieing," I threatened.  
"I'm not," he said, "Now c'mon."

I followed him as he silently descended my stairs. Killer looked up from where he was curled up on the floor as we passed him on our way to the door. I blew him a kiss as I followed Ghost out the door, locking and closing the door behind me. Parked at the edge of the curb was a sleek black car. It was long and somehow looked predatory.

"And here I thought you were some kind of supernatural being who didn't require the assistance of modern transportation," I said sarcastically.  
"_I _don't, but you do," he said as we approached the car, "And I had a good feeling that you would change your mind tonight."

"Because you were _planning _to use sex as a bargaining tool?" I asked; I was mocking him but I still wondering if he actually planned that, "I thought it was more of an act of desperation."  
"First of all, I thought we agreed not to speak of that," he said as he unlocked the car, "And secondly, you should know that there is, in fact, a method to my madness."

"So you _did _plan this?" I checked as we both climbed into the car. Inside everything looked new and high tech. All the buttons and lights glowed a bright blue, and it smelled like new leather.  
"I'd rather not discuss it," he said.

"You promised to answer my questions," I reminded him as he started the car.  
"Well I refuse to answer questions that don't pertain directly to your current situation," he said as he started speeding down the road.

"Okay . . . well how about this question," I said, my voice rising louder in irritation, "_What the hell are you!__" _Did that 'pertain directly to my current situation?' _  
_"A vampire," he said with a raised eyebrow, "I thought we'd established this already."

"Well you didn't exactly give me a direct answer," I said, "And how the hell are you a vampire!"  
"I was bit by a vampire?" he said it like a question, like he didn't know how I expected him to answer that.

"Uh . . . how is it possible that vampires even exist?" I demanded.  
"I don't know really," he admitted, "We just do."

"Well . . . what are some of the basic . . . like things about vampires?" I asked, "Like what's real and what's a myth?"  
"You're going to have to be more specific," he told me.

"Okay . . . how strong are you guys?" I wondered.  
"Strong enough to . . ." he prompted.

"Break down a door?" I suggested.  
"Please, that's nothing."

"Okay . . . lift a car?"  
"Certainly," he said somehow managing not to sound_ too_ smug.

"Okay . . . that's pretty strong, um frighteningly so actually," I said, "So um . . . what else can you guys do?"  
"Once again - be specific," he advised.

"How fast can you run?"  
"Personally I can probably go about seventy . . . eighty miles an hour," he guessed, "But I know a guy who can go a hundred."

"Impressive . . . so do you burn in sunlight?" I asked.  
"It . . . hurt us. It's pretty painful really," he said, "We tend to avoid it when possible but we won't burst into flames like you'd expect."

"Okay . . . good to know . . . So you drink . . . blood right?" I checked.  
"I believe that's one of the major points of being a vampire," he said.

"Okay . . .I was just checking," I defended myself, "So do you guys sleep?"  
"We can sleep . . . we don't have to though," he explained, "As long as we're getting blood."  
"All right. . .this is all very disconcerting . . ." I said, "But what I really want to know is why you guys want _me._ Like what are you planning to do to me exactly?"

"Isn't it obvious? We want to make you a vampire."


	5. Got A Bad Case Of Nothing To Lose

**Got A Bad Case Of Nothing To Lose**

"You're going to turn me into a _what!" _I demanded in surprise.  
"A vampire," he said, raising an eyebrow questioningly, "Was that not clear?"

"But-but why me!" I exclaimed. I'd always longed to be a vampire. My whole life I wished to be special, powerful, beautiful, immortal. But now that it was going to really happen I didn't know what to think. Would it be as great as I'd always expected? Or would it be a nightmare? Would I become one of those ice cold, heartless, vampire beauties I was always reading about? Eternally disappointed.

"There's a common procedure we follow in picking new vampires," he explained in a voice that sounded bored, like he'd had to tell this speech a thousand times, "We tend to search local newspapers articles - looking for people who have survived some kind of trying event. Like an avalanche or a car accident . . . either by their own strength or wit . . . even luck. Then we go and observe this person for about a month to see if they have what it takes to be a vampire."

My mind, against my will, flickered back to the incident. On a camping trip with Izzy's family, Izzy, her older brother, and I had gone off to do some hiking on our own. While on a particularly unfamiliar trail, a mountain lion had attacked us. We learned later that it had been rabid. It had attacked Izzy, leaving horrible scars all up her arms. Kyle, her brother, being incredibly stupid, jumped the lion and put his hands around it's neck. He'd knocked it off of Izzy and had started rolling around in the dirt with the lion. He was no match for it of course, she scratched his face and ripped into his shoulder's with her teeth. Panicking, I had started throwing rocks at the animal, screaming like a maniac. I wasn't stupid enough to go and try to take on the lion by myself; I wouldn't win. When the lion refused to come after me, and continued to rip apart Kyle's shoulder, I'd grabbed a sharp stick and ran over to where the lion had Kyle pinned beneath it. Without thinking, I thrust the stick into the lion's back as hard as I could. The lion shrieked a bloodcurdling sound and a part of me died inside at having to harm an animal like that - but it would've killed Kyle if I hadn't. The lion had gotten off of him, and started running around like it was mental and snarling wildly. Then, bloodily and half dead, Kyle had crawled over to his bag while I tried to distract the lion from him and Izzy by throwing rocks at it and screaming. Kyle had grabbed his flare gun and shot it off. Spooked, the lion had ran off. They're parents had seen the flare go off and had come to our aid not long after.

In the end, Izzy had to get over a hundred stitches in her arms. Kyle's shoulder was completely messed up and had required surgery and months of physical therapy before he had full use of his arm again. A few days later the police and park rangers had found the lion and killed her; the autopsy showed that she had been rabid. We'd all had to get rabies shots. I didn't like to think about it. It was almost a year ago, but I still wasn't over it. It had been traumatizing; I'd never gone camping again.

"The mountain lion attack," I mumbled quietly, "You read about it."  
"It was all over the local papers," he said, "There was even an article on AOL. _Fifteen year old girl wards off rabid mountain lion. _It's one of those stories you just have to read. We were all very impressed by it. That was just the kind of savagery we were looking for."

"What happened to you?" I asked quietly. If he was a vampire that meant that something like that would've had to have happened to him too, back when he was a human, to make the vampires think him worthy of being a vampire himself, right?  
"That's not important," he muttered distantly, staring forward blankly.

I let the subject drop. I knew what it was like to have things you just didn't want to talk about. I knew what it was like to be traumatized.  
"So anyway," he said, changing the subject, "Boss assigned Ben and I to go check you out. He was quite pleased with our findings. He thought you'd make the perfect vampire."

"What's with this 'boss' business?" I asked, "Why do you need more vampires? What are you . . . recruiting them for?"  
"Well, it's hard to explain. You see, newly turned vampires go out and find more vampires to turn. That way, the older vampires don't have to anymore and they can go fight against Alonzo's army."

"Okay I have no idea who Alonzo is," I pointed out.  
"He's a vampire . . . a crazy as hell vampire. He hates humans and the vampire government-"

"Wait, there's a vampire government?" I repeated in surprise, cutting him off.  
"Yes, we are a civilized people thank you," he said, "Now, where was I? Oh yes, so Alonzo and his followers are constantly going around, destroying vampire settlements unless they swear allegiance to him. So, we send our older vampires out to stop them, and we create new ones to replace the ones who have to go fight."

"Wait . . . I'm confused," I said.  
"Of course you are," he said, "Who wouldn't be? It'll make more sense once we're back at HQ. Jessamine will explain it better."

"I'm sure whoever Jezabel is she'll explain it better then you did," I muttered.  
"First of all, it's Jessamine," he corrected, "And I'm sure she will. She's been doing this a lot longer then I have."

"Okay," I said as he reached up and opened the little compartment on top that was intended to hold sunglasses. Instead, inside there was a whole shit load of different colored lollipops. He grabbed a green one before closing the little compartment.

"What the hell is it with you and lollipops?" I demanded.  
"I like the flavor," he said with a shrug as he took the wrapper off the lollipop one handidly.

"Then why don't you just eat real food?" I suggested.  
"Real food makes me sick," he muttered as he put it in his mouth.

"So vampires can't eat real food?" I asked.  
"Well I _could_ but I'd end up vomiting," he said, "So a lot of vampires chew gum or suck on lollipops just for the flavor. It's really just the younger ones though. We feel more of a need to do things to remind us of our human lives."

"How long have you been a vampire for?"  
"Not that long," he mumbled, "Several months."

"Ahhh . . . so how much longer before we get there?" I asked, getting impatient.  
"Chill out," he said, turning on the radio, "We've got a ways to go."

I recognized the song immediately as "_The Sharpest Lives" _by My Chemical Romance.  
"This song is never on the radio," I observed.

"This isn't the radio," he said, "It's a mix CD."  
"Oh . . . well I love this song . . ."

We sat there in relative silence for what had to be at least an hour, listening to music as he sped down deserted roads. All of the music on the CD was pretty good, not a lot of stuff you often heard on the radio; none of that pop crap. After an hour though, I was starting to get antsy.

"Are we almost there, _now_?" I demanded.  
"Almost Char," he said, "Just a few more miles."

Char was a common nickname for Charlotte, but nobody ever called me that before. I kind of liked it, but I couldn't let him know that.  
"It's Lottie," I muttered just as he turned off onto a dirt road. A few more minutes and we were pulled up in front of an old brick warehouse with weeds growing all around and boards on the windows. It hardly looked like the basepoint of a secret Vampire organization. It hardly looked like a place where one might lose their humanity. But I realized that the next time I walked out of that building I very well might be a Vampire. But that didn't scare me.

After all, what did I have to lose?

* * *

**Okay so I haven't put like any AN's in this story . . . Which is odd for me. But I just wanted to thank all my amazing readers and also say that I appreciate all the reviews :)  
I'd also like to say that I have pictures of all the characters up on my profile. Check them out if you want. Anyway, plz review :)**


	6. I Have Lost The Nerve But It's All Right

**I Have Lost The Nerve But It's All Right**

I was slightly nervous as Ghost and I headed for the front door. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. Would it be all medieval and cult like? Or more like a spy movie? I had reason to believe the second one. What with Ghost's car and everything.

When he pushed open the completely unlocked front door I was completely disappointed. There was nothing there. It was just an empty gigantic room complete with old wooden floors, crates, and spiderwebs.  
"Hmmm . . . not what I was expecting," I said.

"It's underground," he explained, "This is just a landmark."  
"Ahhh . . . It's all coming together."

He just rolled his eyes and I followed him to the other end of the room, where he paused. He pushed aside a stack of crates effortlessly to reveal what looked like a door to a cellar. He lifted it open and I peered down and saw nothing but darkness.

"Well," he said, gesturing for me to go.  
"Damn you," I muttered, sitting down carefully and letting my legs dangle into the hole. I didn't want him to have any excuse to make fun of me, so I closed my eyes and slid off. I fell for a second and landed hard on the ground.

"Fuck," I muttered when I hit the ground. My knees bent to absorb the impact but I still stumbled and feel. I could hear Ghost laughing from above me. Glowering, I scrambled to my feet, brushing dirt off my jeans. I looked up and could see Ghost standing at the edge of the hole. Feeble grey light filtered in, giving me some visibility. Ghost jumped down, landing on his feet gracefully and silently. Smirking, with the lollipop still in his mouth, he grabbed the rope that was dangling from the little open door above us and pulled it. The latch slammed shut and it was completely black.

"Well this is great," I muttered, "I can't see."  
"You don't have to," he said and I could feel his cool hand clamp around my wrist, "It's not far."

I let him pull me along through the darkness. I really only knew two things about where I was. First off, it was obviously underground. The floor was all dirt and it was considerably cooler down here. Secondly, it was dark. That was just about it.

After a few minutes I noticed little colorful lights up ahead. They were really tiny - like the lights from a laser pointer, only brighter. There was a green light and a red light, one on top of each other. As we got closer, I noticed there was a number of faint green lights underneath it. Although those were a lot harder to see.

When we reached the lights, I could see a little bit. The lights were on a metal panel next to a metal door placed into the dirt wall. The faint green lights were the glow of little numbered buttons. Ghost typed in a long password and the little red light turned off and a light beeping noise went off. The door clicked and opened slightly. Ghost pushed open the door and I was piratically blinded by the mass of light. I regained my sight slowly as we stepped inside and closed the door behind us, and was amazed.

"Now this more like it," I said. We were staring down a long platform. When I looked off the sides of the platform, clear water was at least two dozen feet down. Little bridge like platforms sprung up from the main platform, leading to doors. Everything was pristine white. The ceiling was high and bright fluorescent lights hung from it. The hallway/platform (whatever) extended extremely far. People - or should I say _vampires - _walked around looking confident and efficient. And they were defiantly vampires. They were all beautiful, red-eyed, and pale skinned. Some were dressed in all black and others were wearing white lab coats and carrying clipboards. They mostly traveled alone or in groups of two.

"I thought you'd appreciate it," he said and I could hear the smirk in his voice as he started walking down the long hallway. I followed behind me, looking around in amazement like a tourist in NYC. Some of the vampires we passed gave me a curious look, and some nodded at Ghost who nodded back.

"This is amazing," I said as we reached the end of the hallway, which descended into a staircase that we descended. Water splashed down along the sides like mini waterfalls.  
"Yes it is all very pleasing to the eye I guess," he said as we reached the end of the stairs, which led to an area identical to the one we just left.

We went about three quarters of the way before Ghost turned off onto one of the mini bridges. I followed him reluctantly, seeing as the little platforms had no railings which left me several inches away from plummeting twenty odd feet down into a makeshift lake.

I was relieved when he opened the white door and it led to a normal hallway. This one didn't have any platforms or bridges or water; it was just a normal pristine white hallway. We continued to walk down this hallway, passing more vampires as we went. The walls of this hallway had large glass windows in them which showed different fancy looking offices with vampires in them.

After walking down the same hallway for a minute or so, we were stopped by two vampires. One I immediately recognized as Benjamin. The second one was a guy, who looked a little younger then Benjamin, probably around my or Ghost's age. He was pale, and red-eyed like all the other vampires, and extremely good looking. He was relatively tall and had messy dirty blonde hair. Both him and Benjamin were dressed in all black.

"Congrats Ghost," the other one said, shaking his hand the way guys do, "You actually did it."  
"Damn you," Benjamin muttered, mock-punching Ghost's shoulder, "I can't believe you actually got her to come here. She tried to kill me last time."

"Don't think I've given up on that," I snapped, not liking the way he was talking about me like I was an animal that had been tamed.  
"If you actually do it I'll pay you twenty bucks," the second one said.

"Shut it Joseph," Benjamin said before turning to Ghost, "Fine kid, you win."  
"I always do," he said proudly, "Even when you purposely sabotage my plans."

"All's fair kid, all's fair," he said, "I'll go tell Cruz about you going solo."  
"Well while you're doing that, I'm going to take Charlotte to see Jessamine," Ghost told him.

"Have fun with that," he said, disappearing with Joseph following behind him.  
"Now, let's go find Jessamine," he told me.

"Who is she exactly?"  
"My - and soon to be your - secondary boss. She handles all the younger vampires. She reports back to the main boss - Cruz," he told me, "This is her office."

He turned off and opened a white door which led to a nice office. The walls were paneled with dark wood and the carpet was a dark burgundy color. There was a large oak desk in the center of the room with a young woman sitting at it. She was very pretty and looked like she was in her mid twenties - although she was probably much older. She had long dark hair and a calm serene face. Her burgundy eyes looked wise and all-knowing.

"I see you got Charlotte here," she said in a cool voice, "Nice work Ghost. I might have to suggest your proposal to Cruz."  
He nodded. "It was easier then expected," he said in a business like voice.

"Just like you," I mumbled under my breath. Obviously they both heard me because both of their eyes flickered to me. Ghost's looked furious and accusing, and Jessamine looked curious.  
"Come again?" she asked, cocking her head to the side thoughtfully.

"Not a word," he hissed, "_Not__ a__ word_."  
"Just a little inside joke," I said breezily.

Jessamine smiled a slightly amused smile. "All right then. Well, Ghost, why don't you go get yourself a drink," she suggested, "Give me and Charlotte a chance to talk."  
Ghost's gaze flickered down to look at me questioningly; silently asking me if I was comfortable alone with Jessamine. I nodded; she seemed nice enough.

"Okay. I'll be right back," he said it like a threat before disappearing.  
"Well, why don't you take a seat Charlotte," she suggested, gesturing to the chair in front of her desk. I sat down and looked up at her, she was smiling without showing any teeth.

"So Charlotte," she said, "Exactly how much has Ghost told you."  
"He said that you've been watching me," I said, "And that you're going to turn me into a vampire."

"Correct," she said simply, "Now, tell me, what exactly do you know about real vampires?"  
"Well . . . he said that you're all very strong and very fast. That you're immortal. You drink blood. Real food makes you sick," I listed, "And I think that's about all I'm sure of. Oh, and that you all have red eyes."

"All true," she agreed, "Vampires are the most extraordinary species, if I do say so myself. We have night vision unlike any other. Strength beyond belief. Speed humans can only obtain by car. Our intelligence and wit surpasses the ordinary. We heal at incredible rates. We're beautiful like no human. We posses unique powers unlike any other. We can live forever, without aging. Now, Charlotte, you can't tell me that you don't want this."

Listening to her and staring into her mesmerizing red eyes, I was sure that I did want that. I wanted to be fast and strong and beautiful and powerful. I wanted to be a vampire.  
"Yes," I said immediately, "I want this."

Jessamine smiled, this time with teeth. Her two pointed canine teeth gave the smile a sinister edge.  
"Excellent," she purred, "Now if you could just sign here."

She handed me a clipboard with several sheets of thick paper on it and a pen. I glanced at the bound document; there were a _lot _of words. I flipped through several pages.  
"Don't think that I'm not going to read this," I said, "I'm not stupid enough to sign a contract without reading it."

"Of course," she said easily, too easily, "You can take it home with you and read it over."  
"Okay . . . but um, hypothetically speaking, if I _did _sign this contract . . .When exactly would you turn me into a vampire?" I asked.

"As soon as possible," she said, "Tomorrow night?"  
Tomorrow night? Wow . . . that was an eye opener. If I signed the contract I would be a vampire in twenty four hours. I wouldn't ever have to be a weak defenseless human ever again. I could be a vampire. Strong, fast, cunning, beautiful . . . just like Jessamine, just like Benjamin, just like Joseph, just like Ghost. _Just like Ghost. _

"Well what do you say I give you the grand tour?" she suggested.  
"Tour?" I asked. Hmmm, sounded appealing.

"Yes. It's quite a large facility we have here," she said, standing up. She was pretty tall, maybe even taller then Ghost. She was dressed in a blood red blouse under a black jacket over black slacks. Very business looking. She walked over to the door and paused. "You can leave that here," she told me as I got up with the contract in my hands, "We'll be coming back."

"Okay," I said, placing it on the chair and following her out. She headed back the way Ghost and I had came.  
"This is the executive hallway," she told me, "All the offices are in here."

We left through the door that I'd come in earlier. We were back on the platform-bridge looking over the artificial lake.  
"Now, here we have a lot of various areas," she said, leading me onto the larger platform and continuing down the way Ghost and I had been heading earlier. Not to my surprise, at the end of this hallway there was a staircase leading to an identical platformed hallway.

"We have offices and laboratories and dorms," she said as we walked.  
"Dorms?" I asked.

"Yes, nearly all the vampires live here," she explained, "We have some quite nice rooms"  
"If I . . . didn't want to live here," I said, "Would that be okay?"

"Of coure,"she said, "Oh and over there's the kitchen. And down this way is the training area. She turned off onto one of the bridges and I followed her inside one of the door. Inside was a 'normal' hallway, as in no platforms or rivers. It was wider then the executive hallway, and everything was made of metal and was a silver color.

"Down here is where all the training takes place," she told me, "There are several gyms and arenas for practicing. We also have instructional courses for fighting. Would you like to sit in on a fight?"  
"Umm sure," I said, "Sounds cool."

"Excelent," she said, leading me up a normal staircase at the end of the hallway. The next floor was identical to the one before. She opened the first door and stepped in, I followed. We were in some kind of glass box overlooking a huge room. It was basically empty with concrete walls and concrete floors. There was a large scoreboard on the wall across from us; no points were recorded just the time 2:34. Two vampires were fighting inside the huge room.

"This is one of our arenas," she told me, "We have booths above each of them for observation." I just nodded and watched the fight. It was hard to see the vampires well from so high up, but I could tell that one was a female and one was male. The girl was a lot smaller then the guy, probably like my height. She looked younger then me though. The guy was a big guy, muscely and appearing to be his twenties or something.

The two of them were fighting like I'd never seen anybody fight. It was unlike humans fighting and unlike lions fighting; yet somehow I could make a comparison to both. The little girl and the guy were standing at least fifty feet apart, circling each other in crouched positions. Suddenly, the girl lunged foward, clearing the distance between them with ease, and tackled the guy to the ground. When his back hit the ground the whole room seemed to shake. He didn't stay down for more then a second though. He kicked the girl in stomach and she rocketed an unbelievable distance away. She slammed into the concrete wall and the room seemed to shake again. She pushed herself from the wall, completely unscathed, unlike the wall which had a dent in it.

She started running at the guy who was back on his feet, but not like normal running. She zigzagged back and forth, darting all over. Her movements to fast for my eyes. She was all over the place but the guy seemed to be able to keep his eyes on her. When she lunged at him from the side he ducked incredibly fast. She flew over him and stopped herself by putting her hands on the ground and doing a front flip. She skidded to a stop and spun around.

The fight was incredible to watch. This little girl and this guy were both stronger then anybody I'd ever seen. They'd both been slammed into concrete walls and the only damage belonged to the wall. They were so fast that my eyes could barely follow them. Their movements were so agile and graceful that I was excited to be becoming one of them.

The fight progressed for a long time, neither of them gaining an edge on the other though. I didn't care though, I just loved to watch them fight. It was amazing. Especially when the little girl jumped at least fifty feet in the air and grabbed one of the rafters above us and swung from it. I watched in amazement as she swung herself up on the rafters and perched there.

I looked up and realized that she was defiantly younger then me. She looked about thirteen or fourteen with loose blonde curls that reached to her shoulders. She was beautiful of course, with bright red eyes. She had a very confident and smug way about her; reminding me faintly of Ghost. She smiled at me, revealing braces and fangs. Then she dropped off the rafter and plummeted down to the ground. She didn't land very silently this time, the impact caused a sound like I'd dropped a ten ton boulder, when the little girl couldn't way more then ninety pounds.

The room shook and when the guy tackled her from the side, I saw that there was a dent in the concrete ground where she had landed. The two of them started rolling around on the floor, and animal like snarls and growls could be heard through the glass.

"That's incredible," I said.  
"What's incredible is that Hattie and Lucas have been going at this for three hours according to the timer," she said, nodding to the scoreboard, "And neither of them have won." I looked at the scoreboard. It read 3:25. I couldn't believe they'd been fighting for that long and they still weren't tired. I was getting tired just looking at them.

Jessamine held her finger on a little button on the wall behind her, and when she spoke it was highly amplified, so much that I was sure they could hear her in the arena.  
"Hattie, Lucas," she said, "Rap it up. Break time."

The guy, Lucas, slid off the little girl, Hattie and they both got up. They both walked out of the arena, looking like they were laughing. Even though twenty seconds ago they looked like they were trying to rip each other's throats out.

"Now . . ." Jessamine said, "Let's go find Ghost." I followed her out of the booth and back to her office. When we walked into her office, Ghost was leaning up against one of the paneled walls. He had his usual calm in place but he seemed a little agitated.

"I've been waiting," he said plainly, but there was a bit of anger in his voice. He was annoyed at having been ditched by us.  
"My apologies Ghost," she said, "I was just giving Charlotte a mini tour. But now, we are done, and you can drive her home."

"Lucky me," he muttered as I walked over to the chair and grabbed the contract.  
"You be sure to look over that," Jessamine said, "And I'll see you tomorrow night for your decision."


	7. The Last Night Feeling Like This

**This Will Be The Last Night Feeling Like This**

Ghost drove me home in relative silence. He seemed kind of miffed the whole way, kind of aggravated. He seemed tense, just staring forward and sucking on his lollipops. It kind of struck me as one of those things he did to destress, a security blanket of sorts. I wondered what he was so pissed about.

When we got back to my house the first signs of grey light were starting to fill the predawn light. I wondered if even the mild light agitated Ghost, and whether or not it would agitate me when I was a vampire.

"This is where you get off," he said blandly, his sarcasm fully lacking.  
"Can I ask you a question first?" I asked.

"I believe you just did."  
"Well can I ask you _another_ question?"

"I believe you just did," he repeated.  
"Okay, Ghost, enough with your dry wit," I snapped, "I'm serious."

"Fine," he sighed, "What is so direly important that it can't wait 'til tomorrow?"  
"Why me?" I asked.

"What'd you mean?"  
"Why did you pick me?" I asked. "Why did you pick me to be a vampire?"

"I already told you that," he said, seeming annoyed, "We heard about the mountain lion thing."  
"Yeah, yeah, I get that," I explained, "I mean, you and Benjamin had to like . . .spy on me right? To see if I had what it takes to be a vampire? Well what made you decide that I did?"

He was quiet for a moment, thinking over his answer. I was glad he was giving it the consideration I'd hoped for.  
"You're adventurous," he decided, "You like to try new things. You ride horses bareback and you go cliff diving. You're . . . spontaneous. You like to go play soccer in the rain and go out for burgers at three in the morning. You're also nurturing and caring. You babysit your little brother and sister all day and you rescued that little injured bunny from under your deck. You're resourceful . . . You know how to take care of yourself and problem solve. You're also the kind of girl who sticks up for herself. A guy grabs your ass in the mall and you punch him in the face, and you scream at an eight year old bully for picking on your little brother. . . You're just incredible Charlotte."

I stared at him in shock for a minute. I couldn't believe he'd just said that all. He seemed to be surprising me all the time.  
He cleared his throat. "Or at least that's what Benjamin says."

"Oh uh okay," I stuttered.  
"Well I'll see you tomorrow," he said brusquely, "Be ready at twelve."

"Oh-kay," I said in a voice that almost suggested that I was asking a question as I opened the door and climbed out of the car. He didn't say anything as I closed the door and he sped away. I sighed as I headed up to my front door. It was locked of course, as it should be. I grumbled to myself as I walked around to the back of my house and began to climb the tree that was next to my second story window.

I perched myself carefully on a long branch as I tried to pry my window open. As silently as possible, I climbed into my window, half falling onto the floor. Without bothering to change, I closed my window and climbed into bed. Not surprisingly it took me forever to fall asleep that night. Thoughts of vampires and wars and mountain lions swirled around my head as I tried to fall asleep. I couldn't get over the fact that _this _was my last night as a human.

I wasn't able to fall asleep until around four in the morning. My mom woke me up before she left for work and I just ended up stumbling downstairs and passing out on the couch. Paula and Dylan were capable of taking care of themselves most of the time. I didn't wake up 'til four in the afternoon to find the two kids sitting on the couch, eating goldfish and watching _iCarly. _

For the first time in ages, I really looked at my younger siblings. Four year old Paula with her pale skin, short dark hair, pretty face, and big brown eyes like my dad's. And then there was six year old Dylan with his overgrown dark hair, pale skin, cute face, and brown eyes like Paula. I loved both of them like crazy and vice versa, but would they still love me when I was a vampire? Would they be able to tell? There was no way of knowing.

I spent the rest of the day thinking of 'what if's?' I was driving myself crazy and I knew it. When midnight rolled around I was already dressed and ready, waiting for Ghost in my silent TV room while I watched _What I Like About You._ I didn't jump or startle when Ghost suddenly vaporized next to the TV. He was dressed slightly different then. Instead of black skinny jeans with chains, he had _grey _skinny jeans with chains. He wore a black shirt with the words "Deceptively Normal Looking" written in white letters. It was true, he was deceptively normal looking. Well, if you got past the amazing good looks, extraordinarily pale skin, and red eyes. Other then that, with his lip ring and typical teen clothes, he could pass for a normal teenager. I wondered vaguely why he dressed like that. All the other vampires I'd seen were dressed in plain black clothes, white lab coats, or business clothes.

"How do you do that?" I demanded, standing up.  
"Do what?" he asked, smirking. With a lollipop in his mouth, he seemed to be back to his regular smug self. He must've gotten over whatever he was pissed about last night.

"That whole appearing out of thin air thing," I elaborated, "Can all vampires do that."  
"Nope, just me," he said, "All vampires have their own . . . enhanced abilities."

"So you're able to like . . . teleport?" I asked.  
"No . . . I'm able to turn invisible," he corrected, his smirk growing.

"Then how did you get in here?" I asked. The door to the TV room had never opened. Even if he was invisible I should've been able to see the door open.  
"I followed you in," he said simply.

"So wait - you were watching me today too?" I asked.  
"I'm always watching you Charlotte," he said, smiling with teeth to reveal two slightly elongated canines.

"Seriously?" I exclaimed, "So all those times I locked all my doors and closed all the binds and I felt like _you were still watching me, _you were?"  
"Yes," he said simply, "It's my job."

"Well once I'm a vampire can you cut it out?" I snapped.  
"Well, I'll no longer be obligated to spy on you," he said with a mischievous gleam in his scarlet eyes, "But I might continue for recreational purposes."

"Shut up," I growled, "Let's just get this the hell over with."

* * *

_yea ik this chapter wasn't very xciting. But considering the xtreme lack of reviews on my last chapter, which happened 2 b highly xciting if i do say so myself, i didn't feel compelled 2 draw this chapter out. The next chapter will b better shud more ppl review. Anyway, i have pics of all the characters on my profile. Even some that haven't been metioned yet. Check them out, and **please review! :)**_


	8. Just Gonna Stand There And Watch Me Burn

**Just Gonna Stand There And Watch Me Burn**

When we arrived at headquarters I realized that I hadn't read the contract Jessamine had given me. I hadn't even brought it inside with me, it was still sitting on the floor of Ghost's car. Shit. I was screwed.

"Oh crap," I muttered as he parked the car, "I didn't read that contract!"  
"No worries," he said, "Despite what you may think, it isn't a _sell-your-soul-away _contract. It just says that you agree to work for the organization."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" I asked as I picked the contract up off the floor.  
"Don't you trust me?" he asked, his eyes sparkling mischievously and a bemused smirk on his lips.

"I can't trust you," I said, "You're one of them."  
"Yeah but unlike you I didn't have a choice," he said, losing his smirk and the sparkle in his eyes. He looked grimly serious and his red eyes bore into mine.

"What'd you mean?" I asked.  
"Nothing, nothing," he said, shaking his head as if to clear it, "Never mind. Just trust me."

"I don't know . . ." I trailed off as I stared at the contract.  
"I'm not lieing," he said, handing me a pen, "I promise."

I looked up at him, surprised by the depth in his eyes. It seemed like he really did really want me to believe him. It seemed oddly important to him.  
"Okay," I relented, taking the pen and signing the contract. I felt like I was signing my soul away. But for some reason I really wanted to believe Ghost. However I wasn't one hundred percent sure that I did.

"Good," he said, killing the engine and climbing out, "Now let's go."  
I followed him, clutching the contract to my chest. We went inside and went through all the unnecessary steps to get inside HQ. Once we were standing at the base of the hallway-platform I felt my palms get all sweaty as I got even more nervous.

Ghost led me down hallways until we reached Jessamine's office. She was sitting down in her chair with another vampire sitting across from her. It was a girl and she turned around to look at us when we walked in. She was amazingly beautiful, which caused me to subconsciously fix my hair despite myself. Her face was round and gorgeous; her skin flawless and pale. Her eyes were a pinkish red and she had smokey eye style makeup. Her lips were a glossy pale pink and her hair was curly, long, and so blonde it appeared white. Somehow I knew it was naturally that color and not dyed like mine.

"Oh hello children, you're right on time," Jessamine said, pushing back from her chair. She walked over to me and smiled when she saw the signed contract in my hands.  
"So this is our new addition," said the annoyingly beautiful girl as she rose. She was much taller then me and dressed in a little white skirt and a gold silk blouse.

I just stared at her blankly. "It's so nice to meet you," she enthused, reaching out and shaking my hand enthusiastically, "My name's Angel." Of _course _it was.  
"I'm Lottie," I said, hoping that somebody here would finally understand that I didn't like to be called Charlotte.

"I see you've made your descion," Jessamine jumped in before Angel could respond.  
"Yeah . . ." I gulped, my heart slamming away in my chest, "I did."

"And what have you decided?"  
"I . . . I want to be a vampire," I said nervously.

"Excellent," she said, smiling with teeth. I looked briefly at her pointed fangs before I dragged my eyes up to her dark red eyes. When I looked at her eyes, my gaze suddenly got locked there. She broke the stare and I felt like I'd just been released from a cage. I gasped, and shook my head back and forth to clear it.

"Angel, why don't you take Ghost outside?" Jessamine asked. I turned to look at Ghost and Angel.  
"C'mon Ghost," Angel said perkily, grabbing his forearm and smiling at him angelically.

He didn't even look at her though, he was too busy glaring daggers at Jessamine. "Jez . . ." he said in a warning tone.  
"Don't fret Ghost," she said breezily, "Everything will be perfectly all right. I just don't want to needlessly upset you."

He looked back and forth between me and Jessamine before his expression smoothed over to a blank mask. "Fine," he said, "Just promise you won't hurt her."  
"You have my word," she said with a smile.

"All right . . ." he said, pulling his arm out of Angel's grasp and walking out the door with her hot on his heels. They closed the door behind them, leavin me alone with Jessamine  
"What's going on?" I asked slowly, cautious.

"No worries Charlotte," she purred, smiling, "Everything is going to be all right." She leaned in then, her strong hands gripping my shoulders. I looked up into her red eyes, startled, just as she sunk her teeth into my neck. I screamed in shock and then in pain.

It hurt, it really really hurt. Nobody had told me it was going to hurt that much. Hell, nobody had even told me it would hurt at all. Even though in retrospect I should have asked or at least assumed. I'd seen enough vampires movies that it should of been obvious.

I was too busy having a horrific meltdown though to worry about how stupid I'd been. I screamed as pain shot down my neck. When it reached my chest it intensified and I couldn't take it anymore. I crumpled to the ground with a bloodcurdling screech. My hands were unintentionally resting on Jessamine's heels. I looked up at her as red started to tint the edges of my vision. All I could see was Jessamine, outlined in bloody red. Her burgundy eyes shone out of her pale face, staring down at me. The last thing I remembered was her haughtily tossing her dark hair over her shoulder before throwing her head back and laughing.

I couldn't be sure if it really happened though. After the red took over my vision I began to hallucinate through the pain. Most of them were just nonsense and I barely remember them at all; just flashes. Standing in a house of mirrors and seeing a million copies of myself, a masquerade ball, building a snowman out of ashes, looking at my trophy shelf as each was knocked over in a domino effect, walking into my room and seeing that it was overrun with neon teddy bears, watching Paula dance on the roof of the empire state building . . . Weird stuff like that. There were only two hallucinations that I remembered in detail.

_I imagined Angel as well, an angel. She was floating in a perfect blue sky, wearing a long white gown with a halo hovering above her head. Huge white wings were attached to her back and kept her up. Her eyes were no longer red but instead were a beautiful baby blue. She smiled a fangless smile down at me before landing on a grassy hill in front of me. Her curly white hair was floating around her by some unseen wind. She danced towards me before lifting her hands to the sky. When she did that, a cloud of black smoke filled the air and there was a thundering crack. When the smoke cleared the scene in front of me was completely different. The sky was black and a blood red sun was settled in it. Smog drifted around the air like clouds. Angel stood in front of me, but she was no angel, not anymore. She wore red leather pants and a matching leather jacket with high black boots. Devil horns protruded from her head as her white hair floated around her like posionous tentacles. Her eyes glowed with the bright scarlet of fresh blood and when she smiled, I could clearly see fangs. She held a large red pitchfork in her right hand like a scepter. She slammed it down on the ground, laughing, as a crevice appeared where she had struck the ground. It snaked out and grew till it reached me, and I fell into the chasm with a scream. She laughed as I fell and fell into the darkness. _

_I dreamt up Ghost. I was standing on the roof of some Medieval tower with him. For a brief second, he looked different. He still had his lip ring and typical clothes for him, but he was different. His skin wasn't as deathly pale, more of a cream really. His eyes were a gorgeous emerald green color that were hypnotic in a way different then they used to be, a more natural way. He was still gorgeous but more human looking; he had a jagged scar running down his cheek. I stared at him in wonder for a moment before I blinked and it all disappeared. He was back to his normal old self. Deathly pale, unimaginably gorgeous and without flaw, and demon eyed. His expression was horribly blank. He took a step towards me and lifted his hands, palms out. Crosses were burned into both of his hands and they were glowing faintly. He took another step towards me. __He grabbed my wrists and lifting them in front of my face so that the palms were facing me. Crosses identical to the ones burned in Ghost's palms were burned into mine. And that wasn't all, my hands were also uneblievably pale and flawless; there were so freckles or marks of any kind. My nails were longer and sharper, even shinnier. I looked up at Ghost with panic in my eyes. He was staring at me with a blank expression. _

_"You shouldn't have trusted me Charlotte," he purred before white light ripped through the vision. _

Turned out the white light was real. When I came to I was overload with a truck load of sounds and smells. Everything was so loud; all the noises trying to outloud the others. It was so loud that I couldn't tell what any of the other sounds were. I was sure there had to be some kind of circus going on around me. There was just so much noise. And the smells were like nothing I'd ever smelled before; so strong that I felt like I had to be in some kind of weird foreign bakery. Before I even opened my eyes I could see a bright light. It was so bright that I could see it through my eyelids.

I opened my eyes and it was brighter then I even thought it was. I flinched away from the light and sucked in a sharp breath, sheilding my eyes from the horribly white light. Scrunching my face up in pain, I sat up, still shielding my eyes. Then I did something that I would have never done if not acting on some kind of new instinct. I drew my fist back and punched the light bulb that was hovering above me, producing that horrible light. The light bulb shattered, the light disappearing. Shards flew everywhere, mostly hitting me, but I felt nothing.

Now that the light was gone I could see perfectly, but the noise was still an issue. Everything in the room was a dark color but I could see everything just fine. I was laying on a metal table beneath the single, broken, light bulb. There really wasn't anything else in the room, except for a fly on the wall that I could see with such clarity that I felt like I was looking under a magnifying glass, and a large window.

Outside the window I could see four vampires perfectly. Jessamine was one of them, standing proud and looking haughty. Looking at her with new eyes, I felt like she was even more beautiful then before. Her entire being was in complete clarity. Next to her were two equally as gorgeous vampires in white lab coats; one male and one female. And next to them was Ghost, looking at me with a blank expression. Seeing him with these new improved eyes I felt like I was seeing him for the first time. He looked even more gorgeous now that I could see him perfectly.

In one unbelievably fast movement, I jumped off the table and was suddenly right in front of the window. I'd moved so fast it felt like there was no delay between the time when I wanted to move and the time when I was already there. I did a sweep of the room and saw that there were no doors. Cocking my head to the side curiously, I lightly pounded my fist on the window, causing it to shatter. The other vampires didn't even flinch as glass rained down around them.

Silently, I jumped through the window, landing nearly soundlessly in front of Jessamine and Ghost. The two vampires in lab coats scribbled some stuff down while Ghost and Jessamine watched me with thoughtful expressions. There was nobody else around but smells and sounds continued to circle me. Ghost began to slowly clap his hands together. When I focused on that sound, all the others seemed to melt away to quiet background noise that I could focus on if I wanted to. The smells still tormented me though. I tried to focus on the closest one, hoping that it would work like it did with the sound. I was right and the other smells seemed to take backseat. I inhaled again, taking in that first scent and assumed that it was Ghost's. It smelled good. I wasn't sure what it smelled like but I liked it. When Ghost spoke I felt like I'd never heard his voice before.

"Good job Char. Welcome to the club."

* * *

**Not 2 happy w/ this chapter but it's the best i can do w/ it . . . The next 1 shud b better. Anyway, thnxs 2 every1 who reviewed :) Keep 'em coming! :)  
Anyway, i was just wondering wat power u guys think Lottie shud have. I'm pretty decided but I'd love 2 no ur oppionons . . . plus i cud use some ideas 4 other characters if they don't work 4 Lottie . . . anyway review plz n let me no :)**


	9. Let Me Get Close To You

**Let Me Get Close To You**

Staring into the mirror was like looking at painting or a statue. Worse then that even, more like a painting _of _a statue. My reflection was death still, I didn't move or blink or anything. I was unbelievably pale. I'd always thought I was pale until I met the vampires, and now I was just as pale of any of them. My skin was snow white making me look like a marble statue. The nice part was that my skin was flawless, no more zits or discolorations or blackheads. It was like one of those _after_pictures on acne produce commercials. It was nice, but it still didn't draw my attention entirely away from the rest of my appearance. My lightly pink lips were fuller then I remembered and set in an unintentional emotionless way. My lip ring was still there though. On my neck there was a big bruise with two little dark red dots in it from Jessamine's bite. My hair now looked like more of a cream color next to my pale parlor, and the dark brown underlayers and roots stuck out due to my generally light appearance. The worst was my eyes. Still big and darkly lashed, they were now the bright scarlet of fresh blood, not even burgundy like Jessamine's that could almost (almost) pass for a really weird brown color. My eyes were so red they seemed to glow.

"I'm never going to be able to be around normal people again," I moaned. I was in some kind of dressing room/boutique room somewhere deep inside HQ. I was with Ghost, of course, and this woman Sophie. She was a stunning vampire of course, with beautiful red hair and even redder eyes. She was supposed to help me look more normal for when I got back home; since I was one of the few vampires who chose to continue their human life at least part time. I'd had a brief conversation with the lab coat wearing vamps about how I felt and what I saw and what I smelled and so on, before Jessamine told Ghost to take me to find Sophie. She said we'd get into the important stuff tomorrow night.

"Yes you will," Sophie assured me. "All it takes is some slight wardrobe modifications, a bit of makeup, a little practice, and colored contacts."  
I sighed mournfully. I might of looked supper hot but I also looked like a monster that would rip your throat out and drink your blood. And that was another thing, for the time being, I didn't have any craving for blood. My throat wasn't even sore. It was weird, and confusing.

"Okay," she said, dancing over to a little vanity and waving me over. "First off, makeup. Now, you were pretty pale before, so we don't have to worry too much about toner or foundation really. However, blush is a must."

She sat me down in the little vanity chair while she searched through neat little piles of blush. She picked one and started applying it to my cheeks. "If you don't have any color in your cheeks it will make you look sickly to humans. You don't want them to have any excuse for them to send you to a doctor - that wouldn't go well."

"Also," she said, grabbing a little makeup pad and wiping some of my eyeliner off. "You don't want to bring too much attention to your eyes. We'll use contacts to make them look more natural. But for now, you don't want people to really focus on the color. Especially people who know you really well and might recognize the change in your eye color. It's also important to keep your hair down; you have bangs which is a plus. If your hair is away from your face people will notice the change in your facial features and skin more. Another thing is to not wear any severe lipstick, it makes you look even paler."

She walked over to an armoire and I turned around to watch her. "Now, as for wardrobe there are a few things to remember," she said as she rifled through clothes, "Light colored clothes would honestly be better to less accent your paleness, but seeing that you seem to wear a lot of dark colors that wouldn't be good. A dramatic change in wardrobe is a sign that something's up. So, your better off with what you usually wear. Also, even though we aren't affected by heat or cold, you have to dress weather appropriately. A human wouldn't be wearing shorts in December. Lastly, until that bite wound heals, your gonna want to try to hide it, obviously. You have long hair which is good but you can still see it a little, so collared shirts and hoodies are good. Do _not _wear a turtleneck. You're a teenager, your parents will think it's a hickey and when they really see it they'll freak because well, it doesn't quite look like a hickey."

Out of the armoire she pulled out a white colored button up shirt and a black sweater. "These will fit you," she told me, throwing them at me. I checked the tags - they were just my size.  
"How did you know my size?" I asked.

"Ghost and Benjamin took a few article of your clothing so we could tailor clothes for you," she said as I gave Ghost a sharp look. He was silently leaning against the wall with a smirk.  
"Why?" I asked.

"When you're out tracking a human," she explained, "You need the appropriate attire for wherever you have to travel."  
"Oh," I mumbled brilliantly as I went behind the Japanese looking screen to change. I shrugged off my hoodie and pulled my tank top over my head before putting on the white collared shirt. I pulled the sweater over it and fixed it so that the collar would show. I came back out from behind the screen with my clothes in a ball. Sophie took them from me for some reason and hung them up in the armoire.

"Perfect," she said, "Now, we just have to work on behaviors. Now, I'm sure you already have some habits-"  
"She cracks her knuckles when she feels awkward and twirls her hair sometimes when she's lieing," Ghost jumped in. My head whipped around to glare at him - he _would _know that even though I really never even noticed that about myself.

"Good," Sophie said, "Now, you have to make sure to continue those mannerisms even if you no longer feel the compulsion to. You can't stand still like a statue even if your capable of it. Now, your not going to be able to eat, but you have to be good at faking or at least avoiding having people watch you eat."

"The only meal I have with my parents is dinner," I chimed in.  
"Good, less chances to catch you not eating. Now, if people ask you why your not eating claim to have eaten already. Don't say you have a stomach ache more then twice a month and never in the same week, or else they might think your sick. Sick people equals doctors and doctors equals bad for vampires. Another good thing is to cook for your family occasionally or pester your mom about what's for dinner. Chewing gum or sucking on lollipops, like Ghost, is good - it looks normal. Sometimes you should just throw away the last donut or something - that way when someone asks who ate it you can say you did. It's one of those things that people don't notice unless it stops happening. Being a vampire you'll have to deal with a lot of stuff like that. Now, sadly, living with humans means that sometimes you'll have to eat. Just choke it down and you'll have to vomit it up later. It's unpleasant but necessary."

"Now, onto movement," she continued, "You can move much faster then humans but you must make sure not to. Now, based on reports, you were never a complete klutz which is good. But, all humans bump into stuff occasionally and trip. So, every so often, you'll have to fake something like that. Another thing, humans often say 'ow' even though something doesn't really hurt; it's just a reflex. Now, being a vampire means that, not only are we nearly invincible, but it also means that the nerves in our body are extraordinarily insensitive. It takes an extraordinarily large amount of force for our brains to even feel pain. Also, we have an instinct not to show any response to pain. When you show that your opponent has hurt you it shows weakness; and if your weak, you die. So it's hardwired into our brains not to show pain, so the automatic 'ow' response has been lost. Fake it."

"Nextly, we're of course much stronger. However you're a ninety pound girl, before all this I doubt you could lift very much. Now, you can't suddenly be able to lift things you previously wouldn't have been able to. Think about your previous strength and decided what or what not would have been too heavy for you. If somebody asks you to help them lift something - as long as it doesn't look like your previous self wouldn't have been able to - then you can lift it because it means that they think you're capable of carrying it. But never offer to carry something unless it's extraordinarily light."

"Make sure to mimic the humans your around. If you're outside and they put a jacket on, put your jacket on. You won't be able to feel it if gets colder so you'll have to observe the humans you're around. If you see them sweating, say that it's too hot. Another thing is to complain occasionally. Say that your tired, or hungry, or hot, or cold, or you have a headache. Humans are sensitive to many things - it seems odd if you never have any reactions or indications of any of them. Well, that's all you need to know for now. Those were the basics but your partner will go more in depth tomorrow."

"You call that _basic_?" I demanded; it had been anything but. I was too distracted by that to ask if she knew who my partner would be.  
She laughed. "Now one last thing, contacts." She went over to the vanity and grabbed a contact case. I was familiar with them, I used to have to wear them all the time. I'd been wearing them when I got here but when I asked why my vision wasn't blurry from them (it was supposed to be perfect so wouldn't prescription contacts screw with them?) but Jessamine had said that during the change they'd been dissolved by all the venom.

I took the contacts, heavily blue, and plopped them into my eyes. I blinked once and they were in. They obviously weren't prescription or anything because everything looked the same. Sophie steered me over to the mirror and I was glad to see that the red was gone. It was replaced by a bright purple color, not as severe but still defiantly not crystal blue. It was an improvement though, I guess.

"Great," she said, "You look almost human. Ghost, you can take her home now."  
"Bout freakin time," he muttered as I waved a goodbye to Sophie before following him out. We quickly disappeared through winding hallways and underground tunnels until arriving outside the old warehouse. Outside, everything looked beautiful. I could see the lady bug resting on the tree leaf fifty feet away and the feathers of every hawk in the air. It was surreal. Everything was dark blue and purple and just looked beautiful. The moon was the most beautiful though; I just wanted to stare at it all night.

"You wanna drive or you wanna run?" Ghost asked.  
"Run?" I asked.

"Yes, as in _running_," he said, "You may have heard of it before."  
"I know what running means," I snapped, "I meant that it took us over an hour to drive here."

"I'm aware. But you seem to be forgetting that we can run at car like speeds, plus we don't have to use roads which means no traffic laws or speed limits. Actually we'll probably get back even sooner then if we drove."  
"Um . . .okay . . ." I said hesitantly. I was all for smashing windows but running seventy miles an hour? My parents didn't even drive that fast - even when the speed limit permitted it.

"Come on," he said, "I'll race you."  
A challenge? That peaked my interested. "You're on," I said as he smirked at me before taking off. I followed half a second later and was only half an inch behind him. I felt like I was flying, I was running so freaking fast I couldn't believe it. Everything around me was a blur and clear at the same time - which is hard to explain even to my own mind. When I looked down at my feet, it looked like the ground was actually rolling away like it was on a conveyor belt. It reminded me of the times when I'd opened the car door before my mom had fully parked. Only a ton faster.

The entire race, Ghost was half a step in front of me. At least he had the decency to stay visible, instead of going invisible and leaving me with no idea which way to go. As we ran, I was filled with scents and sounds. Some good and some not so good. When we broke through the woods, less then an hour later, we were standing in the backyard of a familiar house; mine.

"That was awesome!" I said, not even panting.  
"Every night with me is," he said, "I assume."

"Dumbass," I muttered.  
He rolled his eyes, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow night then," he said, "Same time Charlotte."

"How many times do I have to tell you fuckin people?" I muttered, "It's Lottie."  
"What's wrong with Charlotte?" he asked.

"It's too long, too formal sounding," I explained, "Lottie is more casual, less stiff. More me."  
"What about Char?"

"You're the only person who calls me that," I told him.  
He smirked. "Well then I guess that makes it special," he said.

Something about the way he said it and the look in his eyes made me want to blush. Luckily, that was no longer possible. Well I didn't think it wasn't. I really hoped it wasn't.  
"Ugh - do you know what time it is?" I asked, trying to change the subject. Plus I was curious.

"Four thirty three," he said without even checking a watch.  
"How did you know that?"

"Vampires always know what time it is," he explained, "Like a built in clock. You'll get the hang of it."  
"Oh . . .I can't believe all that happened in five hours . . ." I mumbled.

"You get used to it," he told me.  
"Yeah, I guess. Well, I'll see you later. I gotta go up," I said, nodding to my bedroom widow. I stopped though when I heard his voice, because it didn't sound like him at all.

"Hey, Char, wait," he called, not sounding like Ghost at all. He wasn't mocking me, or being sarcastic, or patronizing, or cryptic or anything. Just simple words with no hidden meaning.  
I turned around to look at him, waiting. Waiting for him to say something surprising.

In a very un-Ghost-like awkward mannerism, he put his hand on the back of his neck. "Mind if I hang out here for a while? I mean, 'cause it's not like we'll be able to sleep . . .And I don't really have anything better to do . . .So maybe we could . . . hang out for a while?"

I'd consider my self completely and utterly surprised. Not only had Ghost wanted to be with me (with me actually knowing he was there) but he'd actually _asked _me. He hadn't invited himself upstairs like I'd expect him to, or just assumed my answer was yes. He'd asked for permission to do something, to be around me with my actual consent. And for a brief moment he hadn't been cocky or angry or closed off. He'd just been . . . sincere.

"Yeah, I'd like that," I said, smiling, "I'd like that a lot."


	10. Well Can You Feel Me Now?

**Well Can You Feel Me Now?**

Having Ghost around should've been second nature to me. After all, he was around me all the time supposedly. I guess it was different when I didn't have to look at him or talk to him. But having the physical, visible, Ghost lounging in my bed made me all jittery. I didn't exactly feel awkward . . . More like flustered. Usually when I was around Ghost I was pissed at him. But right then, I didn't feel any anger towards him at all. Which forced me to concentrate on the way being around him made my heart flutter - even this newly transformed vampified heart.

"Music?" I asked, sitting down in my spinny desk chair.  
"Sure," he said, leaning over my bedside table to examine the books there.

I went over to my IPod dock and lowered the volume before hitting play. _"Do This Anymore" _by Nickelback came on.  
"I like this song," he mumbled, picking up one of my books. He lifted up my copy of _Hunted. _

"What's this?" he asked.  
"_House of Night_," I told him, "Vampire book."

He smirked and lifted _Kissed by An Angel.  
_"Ghost story," I said, feeling like if it was possible, my cheeks were probably on fire. Not only had my reading selections consisted of vampires but _ghosts. _Freaking lovely.

Still smirking he lifted the next book. Luckily this one was safe.  
_"Jane Eyre," _I said, "It's -"

He lifted a hand. "Even though I am sorely lacking in the ways of teenage girl books. I am familar with the classics."  
"You read _Jane Eyre_?" I asked.

"Of course not," he said, "I just know what it's about. I have a very busy life as vampire spy. I don't have time for books when I'm out on top secret missions."  
I half laughed, half snorted. "Is that what I'll be doing from now on?" I teased.

He answered seriously though. "For a while . . . A decade or two of finding new vampires before joined Alonzo's war. Who knows? Maybe it'll be over then."  
"So until that war ends . . . I'm stuck with the same life forever?" I asked.

"It's not that bad," he said, "Not at all. Plus you're only mandated fifty years of service - that's what the contract said. That's a drop in the bucket for us."  
"Fifty years seems like a long time."

"Yeah I know. But Jessamine is nearly a thousand. And God only knows how old Cruz is . . ." he mumbled.  
"I guess . . . Still it's a lot of years . . ."

"I've been there . . . what? Like nearly six months and I've gotten pretty into it," he said, "Training, fighting, hunting, feeding, tracking. Eventually it becomes all you know."  
"So that's it? That's my life from now on?" I asked.

"No . . .It's not a convent. We're allowed to have friends . . . go out, date. Whatever. We're not in prison."  
"I guess . . . " I mumbled.

"Besides, you get to keep your human life for a while," he reminded me, "Most people don't have that choice."  
That got me thinking of something he'd said earlier that night. "You said before that you didn't have a choice in becoming a vampire . . . what did you mean?"

Of course I'd asked the stupidest question. He looked away from me, like he was suddenly amazed by the outlet on the wall.  
"Nothing . . ." he mumbled, seeming defensive, "I had a . . . bad accident. The vampires saved me. I didn't have a choice, that's it."

I was about to ask what had happened but decided to keep my big mouth shut for once. This could go really well or fantastically horrible. It all depended on what I did and did not do . . . And Ghost's moodiness. But I had to at least try not to set him off.

"Oh . . . well what are some of the power's the other vampires I have?" I wondered.  
"Well Cruz reads minds. Obvious why he's the leader and that he's like ancient . . . but still really cool. Jessamine can see the future which makes her an obvious choice for second in command. Benjamin can wipe people's memories . . . which was what he was _supposed _to do with you. Joseph has like well . . .what I like to call x-ray vision. There's some fancy word for it but he can basically see through walls and clothing if he wants too. Yeah, I'd wear a coat next time I saw him if I were you, or maybe four. Anyway, Sophie is an empath. She can like . . .feel other's people's pain and emotions and stuff. That's how she knows so much about human behaviors. And I think that's everyone you know, right?"

"No . . . I sort of met Lucas and uh . . . Hattie," I tried to remember, "And you forgot Angel."  
He grimaced but covered quickly. "Lucas can sense things about a person by holding something of theirs - like things they've done and people they've seen and sometimes thoughts. Hattie's a pyrokinetic . . . Oh and Angel has healing abilities."

"Wow . . . I wonder what I'll be able to do . . . " I mused.  
"I'm sure whatever it is it'll be great," he said, "We wouldn't have picked you if we didn't think you had potential."

"I hope . . ." I mumbled, "Hey . . . Why don't I want blood or anything?"  
"Too early," he said with a wave of his hand, "Your blood still had nutrients in it. It'll take a few days for your body to absorb all the iron and other stuff we need out of it. _Then _you'll want blood . . . _a lot._"

"Will it be bad? Like the bloodlust?" I asked, "In books and movies it's bad."  
He shrugged. "Depends. Everyone is different. I've only seen a few vampires go through it, and they were all pretty average. But I heard that Hattie had it bad, so did Joseph. I heard Angel's was practically nonexisent though."

"What about you?"  
"Pretty bad I guess," he said with a shrug, "I've heard of worse though."

"What did you do?" I wondered.  
"Nothing," he answered too quickly.

I let it drop and was silent. The sound of _"Take Me Under" _by Three Days Grace the only noise in the room.  
"So what do you wanna do?" I asked, trying to get him to talk to me.

"I dunno," he mumbled.  
"Wanna play a game?" I suggested.

"That depends on the game," he said.  
"Truth or truth?"

"What?"  
"It's like truth or dare. Only without the dare," I explained.

"Isn't that just asking people questions?"  
"Well yeah . . . But when teenage girls have sleepovers they're not just gonna grill each other. They have to make it a game."

"A sneaky little species you teen girls are," he accused.  
"Yeah, that's us," I said, "Devious."

"Yeah . . . you're just _so _devious," he said sarcastically, "I'm fearing for my life as we speak."  
I rolled my eyes. "So what? You wanna play?"

"Fine . . . But only cause there's nothing good on TV on Tuesdays," he said. "But if you ask me anything I don't want to answer I will not hesitate to toss your ass out that window."  
"Agreed," I said, "Are you a virgin?"

"That's it," he said, getting up, "Out the window you go."  
"Hey, what are you doing?" I protested as he lifted me off the chair and carried me over to the window.

"I told you I was going to throw you out the window," he reminded me.  
"Oh I don't think so," I said, laughing and twisting free. But in that one jerking moment, I ended up causing both of us to fall on my bed somehow.

"Whoa!" I gasped as we flopped down onto my bed. I landed first, underneath Ghost, but he stopped himself before he completly landed on me, so he was just hovering above me with his arms on either side of me, holding himself up. I was going to laugh but when I was staring up at him, it didn't seem so funny anymore. Staring into those blood red eyes I could see actual depth, depth I didn't expect Ghost to posses. Or at least for me.

I'd run miles and kept my breathing even the entire way, but now I was breathing hard. Not from anything physical, just emotional. Ghost wasn't hyperventalating like me; he was just staring at me. He seemed startled, but his eyes were just so intense. I felt like he shooting lasers at me. I couldn't tell if he angry or mad or what. And even when he crushed his lips to mine, I still didn't know what the hell was going on.

Only that he was kissing me and that I really really liked it. Hell, if Ashton Kutcher walked in here and handed me an Oscar and a Pulitzer Prize, all my dream's would've had had come true. I was a vampire . . . making out with a hot vampire guy. I'd only dreamt about this since I was twelve years old and I almost couldn't enjoy it since I was so confused. Before tonight, Ghost hadn't given the slight impression that he'd liked me at all. Mostly he'd acted like I was just making his job harder. Until tonight when he'd given indiciation to wanting to be my friend. And then BAM! He was kissing me. What the fuck? Not that I minded . . . I was just getting a headache. Could vampires get headaches?

You see, that's my problem. I was mulling over Vampire anatomy while a totally hot guy was sucking on my lower lip. See? That's a problem. Normal people don't do that. When a hot guy is on top of you and is _biting your tongue, _you pay attention to him for Christ's sake. Finally, I was able to pull myself out of my own little world and concentrate on what the hell Ghost was doing to my tongue.

Once I was concentrating on Ghost, he was all I could think about. How his body felt surprisingly warm against my seemingly cold one. How I could hear and feel his heart slamming away in his chest. The way his soft lips and sharp fangs balanced each other out perfectly against my skin. How soft his hair felt under my hands, like fine silk. How strong I'd felt when I'd managed to roll us over and trap him underneath me. The way I could play with his lip ring with my tongue. The way my tongue stung when his sharp fang grazed it, causing it to bleed for a brief moment.

He'd moaned in pleasure at the taste, so for revenge I'd purposely bit his lip with my canines - _hard. _He'd made this endearing yelping sound which made me smile inside; so much for no pain reflex. I'd licked the blood off his lips, grinning on the inside. It'd tasted pretty good but not like how I imagined blood to taste to a vampire. Maybe because this was vampire blood. I didn't dwell on it though, I just continued licking the blood off his lip until it stopped bleeding - surprisingly fast. With a sexy growl, he'd wretched himself out from under me, rolling us over again with him on top, once again.

In the background, _"Hear Me Now" _by Framing Hanley played.

_"Now my body's on the floor and I am crawling  
Well I'm crawling out to you _

_Well can you feel me now?" _


	11. And I Gave My Life Away So Far For You

**And I Gave My Life Away So Far For You**

The kiss with Ghost was unexpected, but the awkwardness that followed wasn't. After an endless amount of time he just pulled randomly away and stared down at me.  
"I gotta go," he said, "The sun's coming up. They'll be wondering where I am."

"Okay," I breathed.  
He got off me and off the bed in one fluid movement. He went over the window and opened the blinds. Very faint grey light was starting to filter down, it had to be nearly dawn. I couldn't believe we'd been making out for what had to be over an hour.

"I'll see you tonight," he said before opening the window and disappearing before he even jumped.  
I lay there for a few minute, trying to calm my breathing and heartrate. Once it was under control, I grabbed _Hunted _off my bedside table and continued reading until early morning when I heard my parents getting ready for work.

Another hour passed before my mom came in to wake me up.  
"Lottie-" she began, "Oh you're already up. That's surprising."

"Uh yeah . . . I couldn't sleep," I said nervously, expecting her to exclaim in shock that I was now undead.  
"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, perfectly fine," I insisted.  
"Oh all right . . . Dylan's in the TV room and Paula's still asleep," she said, "I'll see you tonight. I'm gonna pick up Chinese food on my way home. Be good. I'll see you tonight honey."

"Um okay . . . bye?" I said as she left. I couldn't believe she hadn't said a word. I'd seen my reflection - the fangs, the eyes, the skin, the face. There was an obvious change in me. Feeling dazed, I put my book down and went downstairs, working hard to be as slow and not-to-graceful as possible. I went downstairs and noticed how Killer was watching me oddly, but not like he was afraid of me, just curious. At least, _somebody _realized I wasn't human anymore.

I went into the TV room where Dylan was sitting on the couch in his pajamas and eating waffles, dripping syrup all over his pajamas.  
"Hey buddy," I said, ruffling his hair and sitting next to him.

"Why aren't you in your pajamas Lottie?" he asked.  
"I got up early," I mumbled.

"Aren't cha gonna eat breakfast?" he wondered.  
"Uh no . . . I'm not hungry," he said.

I spent the rest of the day sitting in the TV room with Paula and Dylan, taking care of them and playing with them and such. Just before my parents got home, Darcy invited me to the movies. I'd agreed immediately and the second my mom came home with Chinese, I'd bailed. Darcy's mom's borrowed car was idling by the curb and I climbed in.

"Hmm, you look good," Darcy said, "You change your hair or something?"  
No . . . just my species.

"Ugh yeah," I said nervously, fixing my hair, "Yeah I did."  
"I like it," she said.

"Ugh thanks," I said, "When's the movie over? I need to get back by twelve."  
"Curfew?" she guessed.

"Ugh no," I said, "I'm meeting Ghost."  
"Oh la la. I didn't know you were seeing him - wait where the hell are you meeting him at midnight?"

"A secret place," I said with a smirk. It was true . . . But it didn't mean what she thought it meant.  
"Oh . . . sexy," she teased, "So you guys are like . . . going together?"

"Sorta. I'm not sure," I admitted, needing girl talk, "We made out last night."  
"Nice . . . How was it?"

"Good . . . Really good. His lip ring is fun," I told her.  
"And was _he_ fun?"

"Yeah totally. He's a great kisser. And he did this thing where he like sucked on my lower lip. Very sexy," I told her.  
Please oh, please, tell me Ghost isn't invisible in the backseat. I would just die.

"Sounds hot," she agreed.  
"Yeah . . . And when I bit like really hard on his lip he made this cute little yelping sound," I told her. Please oh please let him not be spying on me . . .

"Sweet."  
"Yeah . . . And he did this sexy growling thing."

"Very hot," she said, "You have to invite him to hang out with us. I'd _love_ to meet him."  
"Yeah. I'm sure you would," I muttered sarcastically.

"Not exactly what I meant," she said, "But . . ."  
"Shut up. He's mine."

She laughed. "Okay, okay. Hands off," she agreed.  
"Good," I said.

By the time I got back from the movies it was nearly twelve. When I walked in the door Ghost appeared sitting on my stairs. He had on grey skinny jeans and a dark blue _"I facebooked your mom" _t-shirt.

"Have fun with your girlfriend?" he asked.  
"You know it," I said, "C'mon let's go."

"Don't have to tell me twice," he said, getting up and following me out the door. I followed him around to my backyard as we started running towards HQ. We were silent until we arrived at HQ. Once we were inside, a few people gave me interested glances, as Ghost led me to Jessamine's office.

"Oh Charlotte," she said sweetly, standing up and shaking my hand, "You look well. How are you?"  
"Good . . ." I said, "Uh . . . Kinda nervous about my new partner."

"Don't worry," she said, "You'll love her. Ghost, go find Hattie."  
He nodded and disappeared.

"Hattie?" I asked, "The little girl I saw training?"  
"Yes. She used to be Angel's partner but we've made some arrangements," she explained, "You'll like her. She's around your age - she's been a vampire for about two years."

"Oh interesting," Jessamine said, "Do you have any questions you'd like to ask me? Before Hattie arrives."  
"Well . . . Yeah actually. Today nobody seemed to notice that I was different," I told her, "Like at all really."

"Hmmm very interesting," she agreed, "It might have something to do with your power. We'll have to test it to see."  
"How will you test it?"

"We'll put you up against Hattie . . . Have you two fight a bit. Hattie will take it easy on you though, promise. But the fighting scenarios tend to bring out people's gifts."  
"Oh, uh cool," I said just as Ghost arrived with Hattie.

I was right with my earlier assessment, she was around my height and looked about fourteen. She was dressed in black sweatpants and a blue tang top so she looked like she was ready for some sparring.

"Hey Lottie," she said. Clearly someone had told this chick I preferred to be called Lottie; I liked her already.  
"Hi."

"So," she said, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, "What're we doing?"  
"We're going to have you and Charlotte spar to try and figure out what her ability is," Jessamine said.

"Cool, let's roll," Hattie said and we all headed for the training area. Hattie and I went into the large gym-like room that I had seen Hattie sparring with Lucas in. Ghost and Jessamine disapeared up the stairs. Hattie paced away from me, not running, but slowly walking in a predatory manor. She strode to the other end of the room slowly, cracking her knuckles and her neck. Shaking out her arms and legs.

"So . . . Uh how do I do this?" I asked.  
Hattie laughed. "Don't worry . . . Once we start you'll get the hang of it. Like this . . . Instinct kicks in."

"Uh okay . . ." I mumbled nervously.  
Hattie smiled. "Ready?"

I was going to get slaughtered . . .


	12. Cause I Fear I Might Break

**Cause I Fear I Might Break And I Fear I Can't Take It**

It was just a fact; Hattie was going to beat the crap out of me. It's not like I had any experience with fighting. Okay, I'd been in a few fights and stabbed a mountain lion, big deal. That didn't prepare me for fighting vampire. Especially Hattie. Jessamine had said she'd been a vampire for two years, and Ghost had said she had some kind of fire powers. And I didn't even know what my power was. Plus, I'd seen Hattie fighting Lucas. She'd held her own quiet nicely, and she hadn't even used any fire, and who knew if she'd use it now.

"Begin," came Jessamine's voice, sounding like it was coming through an ever-so-slightly staticy machine. I looked up to see her and Ghost watching from the observation booth.  
Before I could even look back at Hattie, something rock hard hit me and I flew back so fast into the wall. It was odd, hitting the concrete wall hurt less then when Hattie charged me.

"First tip," she said as I squeezed out of the dent in the wall I'd created. "Eyes on your opponent at all times. You can't fight what you can't see."  
Then she darted, lightening fast, to the left and then to the right. Back and forth she went, with amazing agility, getting closer to me each time but forcing me to look back and forth at her. When she was almost to me, I jumped as high as I could. Which was pretty damn high. She nearly slid into the wall as I fell back to the ground, landing on my feet.

"Second tip," she said, stalking around me slowly as my eyes followed her. "Avoidance will keep you alive. But you can't win a fight if you're always running."  
She darted out suddenly, tackling me to the ground hard. I slid along the floor on my back, feeling it carving into the concrete floor.

When I finally came to a stop I tried to wretch myself out from under Hattie. I was just as strong as her, but she had me pinned. As hard as I could, I kicked her in the stomach. She flew off me, nearly falling, but turning it into a flip at the last second and landing neatly on the floor.

"Too much defense," she told me as I jumped to my feet, "You need more offense. You have to have me pinned. Pushing me away will only keep you alive for so long."  
She came running at me again, but I swung out of the way at the last time. With vampire agility, she changed directions quickly and came back at me. This time, grabbing my arm and flinging me. I slammed into the wall again but recovered faster than last time.

"Stop letting me come to you," she advised, "Come after me. Go on the offensive."  
I took her advice and charged at her. Of course, she was much to quick and jumped about fifty feet in the air. I watched as she hung from one of the rafters, landing back down with a sound like a ten ton boulder. I charged at her again and again and again, every time she would move out of my way at the last second.

"Respect your opponent," she told me, "Understand their abilities. If you underestimate them, they'll crush you. Always expect them to be better then you even if they're aren't."  
This time, I thought before I charged her. Hattie was smart and quick. No matter what, she was going to move at the last second, too late before I could change directions. The only way for me to get her was to anticipate where she was going to move.

I thought about her pattern of movement. She'd jumped up, moved left, moved right, and jumped up again. There was a good chance she would move left this time. If she was going with a pattern. I wouldn't be surprised if she was. This was barely a fight to her; she wouldn't feel the need to be unpredictable.

I ran at her again, keeping my eyes on her feet. Just before I reached her, she bent her knees slightly and I realized she was going to jump again. So, I prepared to do a running jump. The second her feet left the ground, I jumped forward, tackling her out of the air. We slid across the floor and I had her pinned underneath me.

"Good," she allowed, "But remember, there's always an opening. There's no such thing as being trapped."  
Then she wrapped her leg around my waist and using it to wretch herself up enough to roll us over so that she was on top.

"And another thing," she said, "Never think you've won. Being confident will get you killed. Always expect a reversal."  
Pinned underneath her, I was sure that I was completely trapped. I thought about what she'd said . . . But I couldn't think of a single thing that could free me. Hattie was just as strong as me, and she was sitting on my legs with her hands clamped on my wrists.

"Give up?" she asked.  
I sighed. "Yeah . . ."

"In the real world, if you give up you die," she informed me, "But seeing as this is your first practice, it's expected that I'd win. You actually did pretty good."  
"Uh thanks," I said as she rolled off me and agilely to her feet. I got to my feet as well.

"Now it's time to heat things up," she said.  
"Huh?"

"That was your intro to fighting. Now it's time to see what you can really do," she said, cracking her knuckles and causing fire to shoot out of her hands like a flamethrower that didn't touch anything but stayed inside it's own little force field. She smiled and the fire disappeared as she cracked her neck. Luckily nothing caught on fire this time.

"I don't like the sound of this," I said, slowly backing out.  
"I won't hurt you," she promised, "Well . . . Not a lot anyway."

"Somehow that doesn't reassure me," I said sarcastically.  
Her smile grew as she suddenly lifted her arm and started flinging fireballs at me. It was fucking insane. She was actually throwing _fire _at me. I was running around, just trying not to get burned, as she hurled fire at me.

At one point the tip of a flame hit my heal and it _hurt. _I tripped and turned it into a summersault. I got to my feet as quickly as I could but Hattie was suddenly on me. She slammed me up against the wall, pinning me. Her warm hands were gripping my wrists and it was starting to hurt.

"Hattie," I gasped, trying to struggle out of her grip, "Hattie - you're hurting me."  
"I'm sorry Lottie," she said and I could tell by the way her big red eyes stared at me that she was being sincere. "I can't stop. You have to make me stop."

I tried to wriggle free but we were an even match strength wise. And her hands were getting hotter and hotter - they were starting to glow faintly orange. I could feel my wrists burning.  
"Hattie - please stop. Stop please, you're hurting me," I begged.

Her scarlet eyes were full of remorse but she didn't let go. "I can't," she said, "I can't. I'm not allowed to stop. You have to make me."  
"Hattie," I choked out. My wrists were burning, so so badly. I felt like screaming. They'd said we didn't register pain like humans. Which meant that this fire was _really _hot for my brain to register so much pain.

"C'mon Lottie please," she said, "C'mon you can do it."  
I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I didn't know what my power even was - how was I supposed to use it.

The heat cranked up more and I screamed. Hattie winced and begged me with her eyes.  
"I - can't," I managed, feeling my vision spin. It hurt so damn much but it only made me fight harder. I was struggling like crazy, trying to get away. I closed my eyes and wished that in my own personal darkness Hattie wouldn't be able to see me anymore.

Then suddenly, the hands released off my wrists. My eyes sprung open and I saw Hattie backing away slowly, she looked confused and her eyes were unfocused. I looked down at my scorched wrists. The pain had lessened once she let go but it still hurt marginally. I couldn't think of a human injury to compare the amount of pain though too. It was less painful then a human getting second degree burns but more painful then getting hit with a bat.

"Lottie? Lottie where are you?" Hattie asked, her voice rising in panic.  
"What are you talking about? I'm right here," I said, taking a step closer to her.

"Why is it so dark in here?" she demanded, "How did it get so dark in here?"  
"Hattie - it's not dark at all," I said. Actually, it was quiet the opposite. It was marginally bright in here - at least for a vampire.

"I can't see!" she screamed suddenly, crumpling to the ground with her hands on her eyes, "I can't see!"  
"Hattie," I said, approaching her and kneeling down next to her. I put a comforting and concerned hand on her shoulder and she flinched away.

"Don't touch me!" she screeched, "Get away from me!"  
Jessamine and Ghost ran in then and I noticed a few curious vampires hovering in the doorway.

The two of them ran over to us and knelt down.  
"Hattie," Jessamine said in a soothing voice, putting a hand on her cheek, "It's Jessamine. Relax. You're okay."

"I can't see! I can't see anything . . . It's so dark," she moaned.  
"I think we figured out what Charlotte can do," Ghost mumbled, looking at me.

"Yes . . . She's an illusionist. And a pretty good one by the looks of this," Jessamine said, waving a hand in front of Hattie's blind eyes.  
"Wait - I did this to her?" I demanded, appalled.

"You didn't mean to," she assured me, "It was survival. To find out a new vampires' ability they have to be in extreme pain and have their back against the wall. You have to think that you're going to die before the power will manifest fully. If we waited until you were up against a real enemy and were really about to die it would be too late. We have to induce it."

I didn't know what to say so I said, "How do we fix her?"  
"Only you can do that," she said.

"But . . . I-I don't know how," I stuttered.  
"Try," she whispered.

I did. I concentrated fully on trying to give Hattie her sight back. Minutes ticked by and still nothing happened. I tried closing my eyes but figured that wouldn't help. I was trying to get rid of darkness - how would closing my eyes help. Instead I kept them open and stared at the lights above me. I had absoloutly no idea what I was supposed to be doing though - I was just going on some weird new instinct.

I had no idea whether or not it was working until I heard Hattie sigh. I looked over at her and saw that she was looking around, her eyes no longer unfocused.  
"You can see again?" Jessamine asked.

"Yes," Hattie said, seeming relieved as she got to her feet, "That was so freaking scary."  
"I'm sorry," I said.

"No, it's not your fault," she insisted, "That's what you were supposed to do. I'm sorry I had to hurt you."  
I looked mournfully down at my wrists. The intense pain had faded to a burn, something I could deal with but rather didn't have to. "It's fine," I mumbled.

"Ghost," Jessamine said commandingly, "Go take Charlotte to go see Angel and get her healed."  
"Okay," he said and I dilligantly followed him outside. Ignoring the looks the people who had been hovering gave me.

"I didn't mean to do that," I mumbled.  
"You were supposed to," he told me as he led me down different hallways.

"Well, it seemed to really freak her out," I said, "I didn't want to do that."  
"You had to."

"But I didn't _want _to," I specified.  
"I get it. You're sorry. Why are you telling me this?" he snapped.

"What the fuck's your problem?" I demanded.  
"Nothing, nothing," he mumbled, "Sorry. Forget it."

"You're so moody . . ." I muttered under my breath. "One minute you're all quiet and the next you're all pissy. One minute you're kissing me and the next you're all icy."  
He paused randomly and glared down at me silently for one long minute. He didn't even seem to blink; I wanted to look away but didn't.

"Angel's room is here," he said finally, knocking on the door next to us. It opened a half a second later to reveal Angel. She was dressed in light blue jeans and a white blouse.  
"Oh Ghost!" she said, seeming pleased but her voice faltered when she saw me, "And Charlotte . . . What can I help you two with?"

"Charlotte got burned fighting with Hattie," Ghost answered, "Jessamine told us to come find you."  
"Oh sure thing," she said, perkily, gesturing for us to come in, "Sit down Charlotte."

I sat down in the little white wooden chair at the foot of her bed. Everything in her room was perfect. It was all in pastel colors with a vanity, a bookshelf, a desk, a little sitting area around a TV, stuffed animals and dolls lined up on shelves and other knick knacks. It looked like your average overly preppy girl's bedroom.

She knelt down next to me and gently grabbed my arm. Her fingers lightly probed the burned skin of my wrist but it didn't hurt, surprisingly. Actually it felt a little better.  
"Hmmm . . . This is a second degree burn," she said thoughtfully, "Hattie had to have had a grip on you for a while. Let me guess, you were finding out what you're power was?"

"Uh yeah," I mumbled as she continued to gently touch the burn on my left wrist.  
"Well what is it?" she wondered.

"Illusions," Ghost answered for me. Which I didn't mind too much this time since I wasn't sure what I was going to say.  
"Oh . . . Nice. We don't have too many of those around here," she said.

"Are there a lot of healers?" I wondered as the pain began to slowly recede. It was pretty amazing.  
"In this facility? No. I'm the only one. Which is probably why I'm busy all hours of the day," she laughed.

I laughed a little too . . . Mostly because the pain in my wrist had completly disapeared. There wasn't even a mark anymore. It had just dispaeared. Like somehow the two layers of skin that had been burned away had just regenerated magically.

"Now onto the next," she mumbled, moving so that she was on my other side. She probed along my other burn. "So Charlotte, how do you like it here so far?"  
"Pretty good," I said as the pain began to evaporate, "It's all so . . . different."

She laughed. "Yeah I know. I remember. It's always a little bit much at first but it's just so much . . . _better_ then being human. It's a rush."  
"I think I know what you mean," I agreed as the pain completly disapeared, "When I was running and fighting . . . I just felt like I was some kind of god or something."

She smiled. "I think we all feel like that sometimes," she said, rising to her feet, "Well, you're all fixed up now."  
"Wow . . . uh thanks Angel," I said, getting up, "I feel great."

"You're welcome," she said with a smile.  
"C'mon Charlotte," Ghost said, "Let's go back and find Hattie so she can explain some stuff to you."

"Wait," Angel said, "Do you think you could find your own way back Charlotte? I really need to talk to Ghost alone?"  
Ghost gave me a brief pleading look but I ignored it and said, "Yeah, sure, I'll catch you guys later."

"Bye!" Angel chirped as I headed out. When I passed Ghost he gave me a betrayed glare. Well that was just too damn bad. He was being all confusing and giving me mixed signals . . . I wasn't going to bail him out. Besides, whatever Angel wanted to talk to him about was probably nothing. He was probably just being difficult as always. I left, walking down the oddly empty hallway when Angel's voice suddenly stuck out of all the other noises around me that I worked to tune out.

"Ghost . . . I can't believe you." Her voice sounded different then usual. She sounded partially angry and partially disapointed.  
"You don't have to," Ghost replied, "What I do is none of your buisness."

Being the nosy little twerp I was, I moved as silently as possible as I could back to Angel's room. I peered into the open door to see the two of them standing very close to each other, toe to toe. She was nearly as tall as him. They both looked to wrapped up in their own conversation to notice me, thankfully.

"When we'll you stop being such a child and just do what I ask?" she demanded, seeming exasperated like she'd had this conversation a million times.  
"Because, for the millionth time _Angel_, you're not the boss of me," he growled.

She reached out and grabbed his hair roughly, pulling him closer to her. "I saved your life," she hissed, "You owe me."  
"I owe you nothing," he snarled.

"If it wasn't for me, you'd be dead," she reminded him.  
"When are you going to stop holding that over my head?" he demanded.

"When you finally thank me for it," she said, "I saved your life and you've never done one thing for me."  
"That's not true."

"Yes it is. And now all I'm asking for is one little favor. It's not a big deal but _you _won't do it because you're so damn stubborn!"  
"That's not why . . ." he mumbled.

She pulled his hair harder. "Oh, then enlighten me," she said, seeming completly exasperated, "Please, do tell. _Why _will you never do just one little thing for me?"  
"Because I'm tired of you acting like you own me," he said, his voice low and dangerous.

"I have never acted like that!" she exclaimed, seeming shocked, "You're always overreacting!"  
"Maybe," he snarled, "But I'm not this time. I'm done being your bitch, Angel."

She made an exasperated sound in the back of her throat and violently let go of his hair.  
"You are impossible. Just go," she said, pinching the bride of her nose and looking at the floor, "I can't deal with you right now. Just go. We'll talk about this later."

As fast as possible, I bolted away and down the hall. I hid behind the corner. I hadn't understood the exchange between Ghost and Angel in the least. And to be honest, I didn't like the way she'd talked to him and pulled his hair. It was just a little too possesive, but I still couldn't help but take her side. I had no idea what was going on, but I still had to take her side. Seriously though, if she'd saved his life (and he hadn't denied that she did) then the least he could do was one thing for her. Plus, I had to agree with her. He did have a tendency to overreact and was so damn stubborn.

Besides, I knew what it was like to get extremely frustrated with Ghost.


	13. A Soul Behind A Guise

**The Soul Behind A Guise**

I'd ran like hell out of there; the last thing I needed was Angel or Ghost finding out I was spying on me. Ghost would make me regret it somehow and I didn't even have a clue how Angel would reenact. Decidedly, I didn't want to find out, and just bailed. I'd navigated my way through many hallways before finding the arena Hattie and I had sparred in. Her and Jessamine were still inside, talking quietly. I heard them easily but the conversation seemed very busyness like and involved a lot of names I didn't know. They stopped when I walked in.

"There you are Charlotte," Jessamine said, "Where's Ghost?"  
"Angel wanted to tell him something privately," I told her and Hattie snickered for some reason.

Jessamine ignored her. "Well then, Hattie why don't you show Charlotte her room."  
"Wait - I thought I told you I wouldn't be living here," I interrupted.

"Oh I know," she said and it seemed like she wasn't going to say anymore.  
"But it's still nice to have your own room here," Hattie added.

"Yes," Jessamine agreed.  
"Well, uh, okay," I said as Hattie led me out of the gym and down hallways.

"Well, first things first, I'm Hattie Weathers and I'm going to be your partner. I figure we should get to know each other a little better first. I'm seventeen and lived in Carbondale Pennsylvania for my entire human life. I'm a pyrokinetic, as you've probably already noticed. When I was fourteen I went out to get my mom eggs for my little brother's birthday cake one night. Outside the store I was cornered by some guys I knew who went to my high school. They were drunk or high or _something. _Well, the edited version is they basically tried to rape me. Nearly did and would have if I hadn't kicked one in the crotch before punching him in the nose. I kicked the other one in the head when he grabbed me and tried to pin me. Then, before the last one could grab me, I ran like fucking hell into the store, screaming bloody murder. Long story short, the vamps found out about my little encounter and eventually decided I was vamp material.

"Uh . . . um _wow_," I said.  
"Yep. Get that a lot. Heard you stabbed a mountain lion. That's hardcore. If you'd liked to tell me about yourself that's cool but unnecessary. I already know a lot of shit about you. Jessamine showed me some of your file after I found out you were my new partner. Your name is Charlotte Helling but you prefer Lottie. Even though Ghost is always calling you Char and you don't seem to mind. Yeah, don't think I didn't notice that. You love animals, writing, and acting. You're the reason your JV girl's lacrosse team was undefeated. You take twelfth grade English and have been the lead in the last three school plays. You have an oddly scarce dating history and a rather large group of friends. You have three girls you consider your best friends but you consider Darcy Miller your very best friend."

"That's seriously creepy," I told her.  
"Sorry . . . But the files don't lie. Don't worry, they only showed me some brief things so I'd have an idea about you. Nothing too personal," she promised.

I didn't even want to think about what kind of 'personal' stuff they had on me.

"Uh okay."  
"Shall I continue?" she asked.  
"Um sure," I said.

"Okay. I also know that you got your lip and your belly button pierced when you were fifteen, and dyed your dark brown hair when you were fourteen and have been redying it ever since. Lucky or perhaps not so lucky, for you, you won't have to worry about it growing in anymore. It's gonna be like that forever now. I also picked up a few things about you that weren't in your file. These are just things my amazing people reading skills told me about. I'm guessing that you find my bluntness endearing but intimidating, you don't trust Jessamine, you spyed on Ghost and Angel's conversation, and you totally have a thing for Ghost."

"How the fuck did you know all that?" I demanded, "Do you read minds or something?"  
"Nope . . .I'm just a good reader of people. You keep alternating between giving me amused and wary glances. I'm aware that I am blunt but it's just the way I am. Whenever you're around Jessamine your pulse quickens just a bit. Something I didn't notice at first but when you came back into the gym you were fine but then you looked at Jessamine and your heart started slamming in quick little thuds. I know how you feel, she does give off a creepy air but you don't have to be worried. She's actually really nice but she puts on a show for newcomers. I know you spyed on Ghost and Angel because of the fact that you ran into the arena like you expected the boogieman to be running after you. And the Ghost thing is just so obvious. The way you stare at him . . . Don't worry, every so often I notice him looking at you too."

"I-that's just too weird," I told her.  
"My apologies. I can't help it. So was spying on Ghost and Angel traumatic?" she asked with a waggle of her blonde eyebrows.

"Uh no," I said.  
"Oh. Then they must've been arguing," she guessed.

"Creepy," I told her.  
She laughed. "Yeah, I get that a lot. So you saw Angel giving her baby a well deserved spanking?"

"Excuse me?" I demanded.  
"Oh right. You don't know the inner circle drama. I swear, sometimes this place feels like a human high school with all it's drama. Well, Angel and Ghost are the on-and-off-again couple. Honestly, I think they should just be off permanently but it's not like they'll listen to me. They're total opposites. She's so sweet and affectionate and straightforward . . . While Ghost is so temperamental and cold and cryptic. They just don't mix. If we were in high school she'd be the student council president who runs charity bake sales and he'd be the emo kid who couldn't give a fuck. Secretively I think they both know it will never work but they keep trying anyway. I know it never will. I think he alternates between worshipping her for saving his life and resenting her. And she just feels like he's a broken baby bird she has to fix . . . But she unintentionally acts like she owns him. How do I know this? Because I've seen the two of them together. Not to mention that I used to be Angel's partner. Half the time he was all she ever talked about. They're going to blow out for good soon though, I think."

"Uh," was all I said, unsure of what to say. Angel and Ghost as a couple? Not a very comforting thought. I assumed they were off at the time, considering their fight and the fact that he kissed me but still. I didn't like the idea of the two of them together. I felt slightly assured by Hattie's assumption that they were gonna cut ties soon. I mean, she'd been right about so much already. She was probably right now, right?

"Don't worry though. They have one of those totally dysfunctional relationships - all about dominance and submission. It isn't real," she told me.  
"I'm not sure what to say," I admitted.

"Totally understandable. Time for a subject change? Or at least a slight one? So what did you see between Ghost and Angel? I want details."  
"Well I missed the beginning. She was asking him for some kind of favor and he kept refusing. They started arguing about how she is supposedly controlling and he allegedly never thanked her for saving his life. They both seemed pretty pissed. She was pulling his hair a lot too. He said he was tired of being her bitch," I told her.

Hattie laughed. "Yeah that's a good description of what he is . . . "  
"Hey, remember, I like him," I reminded him.

"Oh right. Well maybe that's being a little harsh. They kind of go back and forth between being each other's bitches, to be honest. One day Ghost is calling the shots and the next day Angel is. Like I said, their relationship is all about submission and dominance. Whose going to be in charge that day."

"That's fucked up," I noted.  
She shrugged. "Vampires have drama too," she said, "Like, I suspect that Jessamine is planning to take Cruz's place. I can't be sure though, because it seems like he would read her thoughts and realize her plans but who knows? There's also a lot of other drama going on down here but I doubt you know most of these people. There's Nina - our mandated whore. There's also Pam whose your sterio typical bitch. Then there's Aaron whose a total jerk. Now, down here we're not quite as petty as highschoolers but just like the human world, we have our cast of players."

"Interesting and unsettling," I said.  
"Yep. Well, as much as I'd love to gossip with you, Jessamine wants me to talk to you about some 'important' stuff. Like how Kaci, one of our few other illusionists is going to be your mentor. Which means that basically she's just going to show you how to use your power. She also wanted me to warn you about the oncoming bloodlust. In a few days you'll start to crave blood. When that happens we'll get into more detail about it."

"Uh okay," I said.  
"Now she wanted me to explain a few things about vampires to you. Like how, despite what you probably think, we can sleep. You probably don't think we can. That's because you still have nutritional blood in you. Once your system absorbs all the nutrients in it you'll start to crave blood . . .But you'll also get more tired. You see, if we don't have blood for extended periods of time, then we can sleep. Well, actually, we _have _to sleep. But if you're getting blood then you won't need it. Another thing, as you probably guessed, we don't age or change in anyway. We're stuck like this forever. And we can't have kids. Sorry if that was an ambition of yours."

"It's okay," I said, "I don't mind." It was true; for now I wasn't bothered by that. I had a feeling that mentality would change in a few years though.  
"Anyway. Where was I? Oh yes, vampire fun facts. Don't try eating anything, you'll make yourself sick. Chew gum like I used to or suck on those damn lollipops like Ghost. We do in fact have blood of our own. However, it lacks a lot of nutrients and if we haven't had blood in a while it will turn black. It's pretty freaky to bleed black I have to say. Anyway, those are the important things but you'll probably notice others. If you do, you ask me. I'm your partner which means it's your job to come to me with all your problems. I don't care. God knows I drove Angel crazy for the last two years."

I laughed. "Thanks," I said.  
"You're welcome. And this is the girl's dorm," she said randomly, gesturing around the fairly empty white hallway around us. "So no boys allowed. Okay, so this isn't boarding school so there's actually no rule about guys not being allowed. But there's only girls rooms here. But, as you can imagine we get a lot of male visitors so umm . . .just tune out anything you hear."

I laughed and nodded. I actually faintly recognized were we were; we just passed Angel's room I was sure. The door was closed now but I still thought it was her's.  
"And right over here is your room," she told me, swinging a white door open to reveal a white room. It was decently sized with a perfect white double bed in the center. There was an empty wooden bookshelf and a desk with a black laptop on it. There was a closet, a bedside table, a mini plasma TV, and a black bean bag chair. Everything was pretty plain and scarce but still nice.

"Yeah it's pretty empty," Hattie said, "But you can do what you want with it. If you ask Jessamine she'll give you the money to redecorate."  
"Wow - uh thanks. This is actually pretty nice," I said, taking a few steps in.

"Yep, you got Wifi and direcTV. There's a complete wardrobe in your closet," she told me, "My room's right next door if you ever need me. Feel free to chill in here for the rest of the night. I think we've both had enough for one night. I'm gonna be in the lounge for now though. If you have any problems you can talk to Angel. Her room is around the corner, I'm sure you remember."

"Yeah, I do thanks," I said.  
"You're welcome. I'll see you tomorrows night," she said, smiling and disappearing, closing the door behind her. I looked around my temporary room. It was nice and I really wanted to just lay in bed and watch TV or surf the web. But I wasn't going to do it in these bulky clothes. I didn't feel exactly hot, but I was starting to feel kind of constricted under all these clothes.

So I shed my sweatshirt and my t-shirt so that I was in just my white tank top. Then I shimmied out of my skinny jeans with some difficulty; somehow I thought becoming a vampire would mean it wouldn't be so damn hard to get skinny jeans off anymore, apparently I was wrong. Once I was out of those, and was about to go look in the closet for some shorts, my door swung open.

"Ghost!" I exclaimed in shock and embarrassment. I hardly had any clothes on for Christ's sake! Just my tank top and plain blue panties.  
"What?" he asked, staring right at me. His expression was blank but his eyes gave me a quick once over. Still, he didn't seem at all ruffled by any of this.

"I hardly have any clothes on!" I said, totally freaking out.  
"I need to talk to you," he said, ignoring me.

"Ugh, could we do this later?" I asked, feeling like my whole face was red if it was possible, "At a time when I'm not practically naked."  
"Well, you have on a shirt - or what at least what resembles one - and underwear. So, all your 'lady parts' are covered," he said, "So I figure this is as good a time as any."

"Seriously Ghost," I growled furiously, "Do you get pleasure out of embarrassing me?"  
"Sometimes," he admitted shamelessly, closing the door behind him as he came in and sat in my desk chair, "It really depends on what kind of mood I'm in."

"I get that, seeing as you seem to be in a different mood every five seconds," I snapped. A part of me wanted to go pull my jeans back on but I didn't want to appear embarrassed again. Seeing me all flustered would just amuse him. I had to pretend like I didn't care.

"True," he agreed, not seeming bothered by my insult in the least.  
"What did you want to talk about?" I demanded.

"Oh . . . Just how I know you were watching me and Angel before," he said.  
I groaned. I wasn't surprised. To honest I should've expected it. He was Ghost for crying out loud. And Ghost always knew things he shouldn't.

"And really I just wanted to say that I'm pretty pissed about that," he told me. "You shouldn't of spyed on us."  
"Oh look whose talking," I snarled furiously, "You spy on me all the fucking time!"

"That was my job," he said simply.  
"Was it your job to make out with me while you're dating Angel?" I snapped.

"I'm not dating Angel anymore," he said firmly.  
"Yeah, for now," I hissed, "I know about your little on and off again thing with her."

"That's done," he snarled, standing up, "Over with." I could hear him grinding his teeth. He seemed angrier then I'd ever seen him, and none of that distant cold anger either. He was fired up and seemed more emotional then I'd ever seen in him.

"It didn't seem that way when she was pulling your hair and calling you her bitch," I snapped at him. Okay, that wasn't exactly what happened but still.  
"Shut up," he said darkly.

"Why?" I demanded, "Huh? Why? Because you're angry? Is the infamously emotionless _Ghost _actually angry? But that would mean that you're an actual person!"  
"Shut _up_," he snarled, seeming extraordinarily pissed. For some reason my comment seemed to hit home. There was something dark and wounded flickering in his red eyes. It was odd to see something like that in him. As if Ghost could actually . . . Be hurt by something. As if he wasn't made of stone.

Furiously, he backhanded my bedside lamp, sending it flying into the wall where it shattered, and stalked over to the door. He threw it open and it hit the wall behind it with a bang.  
"Ghost," I said tentatively, begging him to wait with my eyes. I hadn't meant to hurt his feelings - hell, I hadn't even thought he had feelings.

He looked back at me with big, wounded eyes. He looked oddly vulnerable right then . . . Vulnerable and sad. Very very sad. Forlorn even.  
"Don't call me that," he murmured before he faded into nothing. I assumed he'd left though, seeing as the door banged shut a second later. I sighed heavily and sat down on my bed.

I'd been surprised when Ghost told me not to call him Ghost. I mean, what else was I supposed to call him? I didn't even know his real name. He'd specifically told me he liked to be called Ghost. But just then he'd told me not to call him that, as if it was some kind of insult. I'd thought they'd called him Ghost because of his little disapearing act but I now realized a second reason for the nickname. Sometimes he seemed like he was barely there, barely aware of anything. Like he was a shell . . . a ghost. But now I realized that that wasn't true. Ghost was a person; a person who had feelings and hid behind walls of arrogance and nonchalance. But I realized then, that he was still a real person with feelings. And I'd hurt him.


	14. I Tried To Kill The Pain

**I Tried To Kill The Pain But Only Brought More**

I went several days without seeing Ghost. It was awful, especially since I knew he was pissed at me. Hattie had said that he was out on assignment but I knew that if he wanted to see me he'd find a way to. So, he wasn't actually avoiding me (he was busy) but he still didn't want to be with me.

I'd found my way to and back from HQ by myself the next few nights, but running wasn't as much fun alone. As much as I longed to see Ghost, during the night I didn't have much time to miss him. Hattie and I were always training or Kaci was trying to teach me to use my power. I prefered fighting with Hattie; learning to use my power was confusing. Kaci was always telling me to 'extend my mind' . . . Whatever the hell that meant. So far all I could really do was create darkness . . . Although Kaci said that with practice I could create other images perhaps even sounds or smells or feelings. But that would take time.

I was getting a little better at fighting. Hattie still kicked my ass but she said I was improving. The night that I finally saw Ghost again was about four or five days after our little fight. I was training with Hattie, as usual. We weren't in the arena fighting though, we were in the gym and I was wailing on a cement punching bag. Yeah, _cement. _A big block of cement attached to a metal lever in the ceiling. There were dents in it from where other vampires had punched it. Amazingly, punching this didn't take a lot of effort. It was mostly about working on a hand-to-hand combat form Hattie had taught me. Punch left, punch right, upercut kick, duck, repeat. It was tediously repetivite but Hattie said that during a real fight it was a good base.

Hattie was bench pressing some weights off to the side, a huge three hundred pound weight. It was pretty weird to see a girl who looked about fourteen and was very slight doing that but I'd started to get used to it. There were other vampires all around the room, doing various other things. It was all very normal. I spent most of the night in there. Until I started getting kind of tired, even though I hadn't gotten that way in days. I was even sweating.

"Hey Hattie," I said, approaching her, "Mind if I call it quits? I'm starting to feel kind of tired."  
"Yeah sure. No prob. Your system has probably absorbed most of the nutrients in your blood by now. Won't be long 'til you'll need blood."

I wasn't comforted by that. "Well, uh okay," I said, "Bye."  
I left the gym and decided to go take a shower before I headed home. But first I had to go to my room to get some clean clothes. When on my way to my room I suddenly felt a weird pang in the back of my head, like something was wrong. It was like a weird sixth -well seventh actually - sense. I just felt the overwhelming urge to go find Ghost.

I made my ways to the guys' rooms, but still didn't know how I planned to find him. I had a good feeling he was in his room though. When I passed a vampire guy I didn't know I stopped him. Maybe he could help.

"Excuse me. Ugh, do you know where Ghost's room is?" I asked.  
"Yeah, around the corner. Second on the . . . left," he decided.

"Thanks," I said hastily, bolting around the corner. I went to the second door on the left and threw it open. I was mortified by the scene in front of me. Broken picture frames and CD cases were strewn all over the place and his bed had ripped books all over it. Slumped on the floor, leaning against the bed, was Ghost. He had his head pressed against his knees and he was shaking.

"Ghost!" I exclaimed in panic. I ran over to him and dropped to my knees. "Ghost, Ghost," I said, "What's wrong?"  
Slowly he lifted his head to look at me with sad, frightened, red eyes. He wasn't crying . . .But he looked completly devestated.

"Oh my God Ghost! What's wrong?" I asked, worried.  
He didn't answer me, but just continued to shake.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," I soothed even though I didn't have a clue what was wrong. I couldn't imagine a single thing that would make emotionless Ghost so upset.  
"It's okay . . . shhhhh . . . it's okay," I said, but I didn't dare reach out to comfort him. I had a feeling touching him wouldn't end well.

With a shaky breath he let his knees slide down so that his legs were stretched out in front of him. And that's when I noticed that he was holding two object in his hands, tightly against his stomach.

"What cha got there?" I asked quietly, reaching out to take the object from him, but he flinched away. I got a brief look at the object and realized it was a bottle opener. What was Ghost doing with a bottle opener?

"Hey, what are you doing with that?" I asked gently, grabbing his wrist, and jumping when he yelped in pain. It wasn't the cute yelping sound he'd made when I bit his lip though. This was an agonized sound of genuine pain.

"What's wrong?" I asked, gently grabbing his arm and lifting it to my face. I gasped in shock when I saw the inside of his wrist and forearm. It was covered in cuts and fresh burn marks in a very odd shape. It took a minute for me to realize they were shaped like the metal top of a bottle opener.

"Oh my God . . ." I whispered. Numbly, I grabbed his other hand and sure enough, he had a lighter clutched tightly in it. This arm was also dotted in burns and cuts.  
"My God Ghost!" I exclaimed. He'd burned himself . . . on _purpose. _I'd had no idea he was a cutter.

I tried to pry the bottle opener out of his hand but he wouldn't let go. He was clinging to it for dear life.  
"C'mon Ghost," I urged, "Just let go."

He finally released it and I stared at the bottle opener in my hand. It was still warm. I placed it gently on the bedside table and proceeded to take the lighter out of his hand. I placed that too on the bedside table and then got up. I searched around his room for some kind of turniquet. If he was into self harm he had to have some kind of bandages in here. I finally found some bandages in his desk drawer. I took them and knelt back down next to him, where he was still shaking on the floor.

Carefully, I began to wrap the bandages around his wrists.  
"Come on Ghost, why don't you lie down?" I suggested, trying to get him to stand up. But he refused.

"Okay . . ." I sighed. I got up then and did a breif search of his room, looking for anything else he could use to hurt himself. It took a lot to hurt a vampire, but burning worked pretty well. And he'd probably slashed his own wrists with his nails. It was sickening to imagine what could upset him enough to make him do that to himself.

After my brief search decided that there weren't any more potential weapons, which was a little promising. So hopefully that meant he didn't do this religiously and it was more of an occasional thing. Not that that was much better but still.

"Ghost," I said gently, bending over so that my hands were on my knees. He wouldn't look at me, he just stared off into nothing with a glassy distant eyes.  
"I'll be right back," I told him, grabbing his lighter and bottle opener and putting them in my pocket. I left reluctantly, closing the door behind me. Once I was out I ran down the hall, nearly sprinting, looking for Hattie.

I needed to find out what had happened to Ghost to make him so messed up. And I needed to find out _now. _


	15. The Bitter Taste Of You

**The Bitter Taste Of You**

"Hattie!" I screamed when I saw her coming out of the gym. "Hattie help!"  
"Lottie? What the hell's wrong?" she demanded.

"It's Ghost. He's a total wreck," I panted in panic. "I-I went into his room and he was cutting and burning his wrists."  
"Oh God, not again," she moaned, "C'mon let's go."

"What the hell is wrong with him?" I demanded.  
"He's had a fucked up life," she explained as we power walked towards Ghost room, "Cut the kid a break."

"But what-" I was about to ask what had happened to him when we reached his room. It was empty.  
"Fuck," Hattie muttered.

"What do we do now?" I asked.  
"Nothing," she said, "There's no way to find him if he doesn't want to be found. Just wait."

"But what if he starts hurting himself again?" I asked.  
"He won't. I'm sure he's over it. He was probably just really upset about something earlier."

"So he decided to cut himself?" I demanded, "That's not healthy!"  
"Yeah, well sometimes it's easier to deal with physical pain," she mumbled before leaving.

I sighed heavily and walked over to Ghost's bed. Pictures and ripped pages of books were scattered all over it. I noticed one picture in particular. It was of a young woman who was probably in her thirties and definitely human. She had long light brown hair, lightly tanned skin, blue eyes, and a kind smile. There was no one else in the picture, just her standing by a small kitchen table. I flipped it over and written in sharpie were the words _"Julie Marie 9/23/09" _on it.

Confused, I picked up another picture. This one looked like it was of the same woman, only at least a decade earlier. She was sitting in an armchair and had a little boy sitting on her lap, he appeared about four or five. He was fair haired and light skinned with green eyes that looked pretty but strange. They were glossy, sort of glazed over. But more prominent. He wasn't looking at the camera. I flipped the picture over and it read _"Julie Marie and Xander 7/14/98."_

I still felt confused. Who was this Julie Marie? I thought maybe it had been Ghost's mother but she didn't look like him at all. And who was the strange blonde Xander? Trying to piece together the puzzle, I grabbed another picture. This one caught my attention solely because it was partially burned. The edges were burned off but it was still visible. It showed a pretty woman sitting in a chair with a man standing behind her with a hand on her shoulder. They were both blonde and light skinned and very good looking, but defiantly human. The two of them were smiling at the small baby the woman cradled in her arms, wrapped in a pink blanket. I flipped it over. The words _"Scott and Marilyn with baby Connie 2/21/96" _had a red line through them but I could still read it.

The more pictures I looked at the more confused I became. Who was Julie Marie? There were a lot of pictures of her at a variety of dates. In every picture she was smiling. In some she was with the glassy-eyed Xander. Most of the pictures were from the mid nineties to the early two-thousands. Aside from the one recent picture of Julie Marie. There were a few pictures of Scott and Marilyn, all burned. One showed the couple with Xander when he seemed less then a year old. The most recent picture not of Julie Marie was of Connie on 10/18/07. She appeared to be about ten or eleven. She was sitting on a swing in the fall wearing a denim jacket. She had her long blonde hair in two braids on either side of her face. Her green eyes were happy and she was smiling huge.

I kept trying to make the peices fit together but they just wouldn't. Marilyn, Scott, Xander, and Connie all looked like they were related. But there was only one picture of Xander with Marilyn and Scott. And only one of him with baby Connie; she was sitting in a baby carrier and Xander, who looked about three or four, was standing next to it with his hands on it to prop himself up. He was looking in the direction of the camera but not at it. It was dated 5/16/97. Most of the pictures were of Julie Marie, or Julie Marie and Xander. I couldn't figure out who she was. She didn't look at all like the others, with her brown hair and blue eyes. Yet she appeared the most, usually with Xander and always smiling genuinely.

Another thing I couldn't figure out; why were there no pictures of Ghost? There were a lot of pictures of the Xander boy but that defiently wasn't Ghost. This kid was blonde and Ghost had dark hair. And the other few people who also appeared once or twice in some of the pictures defiently weren't him either. It was so baffling.

I moved on from the pictures to the papers. Some of them were pages from the books but some of them were letters. All from Marilyn to Xander. I didn't read them though, I felt like that was crossing the line. I got up and went over to his desk. There were an assortment of broken picture frames. I noticed one in particular that showed Scott, Marilyn, Xander, and Connie all together for once. They were all sitting on a suede couch in a room with sky blue walls. Marilyn had Xander on her lap and he was looking off to the side. Scott was holding little Connie who appeared to be giggling. I guessed the picture was taken sometime around 1997, seeing that Xander appeared to be four and Connie was probably about one. The picture frame was cracked.

"You really shouldn't go through other people's things," came Ghost's voice suddenly, "Especially with the door unlocked." I jumped when I saw Ghost standing in the doorway. I'd been so wrapped up I hadn't even heard it open. I was so used to tuning noises out now that I'd forgotten that it was important to hear things.

"I see somebody has regained enough sanity to be witty," I retorted, trying to switch the attention off my snooping.  
"My sanity and my cleverness are not directly linked," he said tonelessly, "I can remain clever even in the most stressful situations."

"Except when you're cutting yourself," I countered, "Then you just sit on the floor and shake uncontrollably."  
His eyes steeled. "What I do is none of your buisness," he said.

"Like hell it isn't," I snapped.  
"Charlotte," he growled.

"If I knew your full name I would say it right now," I told him.  
"Good to know," he said, "Now get out of my room."

Instead of leaving or retorting, I picked up the broken picture frame I'd been examining when he walked in. "Who are these people?" I asked.  
"They're nobody," he said plainly.

"Then why do you have so many pictures of them?" I countered, "And whose Julie Marie?"  
Pain so severe flashed through his eyes that I practically felt the need to cut myself, metaphorically of course. It's just that I was so startled by the amount of pain this name seemed to cause him. But it disapeared in an instant, replaced by a bitter cold.

"No one to you," he said.  
"Come on Ghost," I urged, "I just want to help you."

"I don't need help," he said, "There's nothing wrong with me."  
"Uh. You burn and cut yourself. Clearly you need help."

"I've done it twice, maybe three times."  
"Which is two maybe three more times then the average person so . . ." I trailed off.

"Whatever. Just get out," he snapped.  
"I'm not going anywhere," I said.

"Leave," he growled commandingly.  
"Fine," I muttered, seeing that he was pretty damn serious and unless I was tired of my head being connected to the rest of me, I'd better leave.

I stomped out the door and spun around to look back at him as he slammed the door in my face.  
"Fine!" I shouted, "If you won't tell me I'll find someone who will!"

Hopefully before I exploded of curiosity.


	16. Don't Leave Me Alone Cause I Barely See

**Don't Leave Me Alone Cause I Barely See At All**

Tragically though, I couldn't go snooping around just yet. I _was_ really tired and wanted to go home. So I'd gotten cleaned up before running home and sleeping. Actually _sleeping_. I hadn't slept since becoming a vampire and it felt weird that I still had the ability to. Although, this sleep was different then how I'd slept when I was a human. I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow, literally, none of my usual insomniac inner ramblings. And when I'd dream, it was like I was changing again. Lots of weird dreams about people I knew. There was a lot of blood involved which probably wasn't a good sign.

I woke up the second my mother woke, somehow. I felt significantly less tired but not as energized as I'd felt when I first became a vampire. I had a feeling only some nutritious blood would help fix that but I didn't quiet feel thirsty yet. I slugged through another boring mundane day of babysitting and cable television. When everyone in the house was finally asleep I bolted for HQ. When I went through all the elaborate entrances to get inside, I immediately began searching for Angel. Yeah, I know. Angel of all people. Preppy, smiley, saint like Angel who saved lives and healed people and was probably sleeping with Ghost. Not that I resented her for that or anything.

But it wasn't like I could go to Hattie, Benjamin, or Jessamine. Hattie seemed stuck on her whole 'not sharing personal secrets' things. And I didn't know Benjamin that well, plus he was a guy so I doubted he was big into other's people business. And Jessamine was too distant and professional for me to be comfortable asking her personal questions about Ghost. And of course Ghost wouldn't tell me. Which left me with only one other option. Perky little Angel.

I went to her room to find her kneeling next to a woman who was sitting on the bed. The woman was a dark haired vampire with a long gash up her arm. Angel had her 'magic' hands grazing up the woman's arm, where her hands touched the wound healed. They both looked up at me with red eyes when I walked in.

"Oh sorry to interrupt," I apologized, "I just needed to talk to Angel."  
"Oh it's fine. I'm nearly finished here," she insisted. "This is Selene."

"Hi," I said, "I'm Lottie."  
"I've heard about you," Selene said, brushing her long straight black hair over her shoulder with her none injured hand.

I just nodded. "So what happened to you?"  
"Oh nothing. Just a little training accident. No biggie," she said, "As long as we have Angel."

"As you can see, I'm clearly highly valued around here," Angel said with a laugh.  
"Well, healing all slow like is a total bitch when you're constantly getting hurt," Selene said, "I'd be covered in bruises and cuts all the time. Plus I'd have so many broken bones I'd be of no use."

"True. I don't know how one of these bases could get by without a healer," Angel agreed, "I'm busy nearly all hours of the day."  
"I can imagine. Between training and healing, how do you find time to go on assignment?" she asked.

"Oh, it's hard. Believe me. But, I currently don't have a partner. Hattie got switched to Lottie. So, until our newest vampire . . . uh I think his name is Diego . . . Gets changed I'm free. But when they change him he'll be my responsibility which means I'm going to be nonstop busy again. Just like I was with Hattie, but hey, what can you do?" she said, getting up, "Well, you're all fixed up Selene."

"Thanks Ange," Selene said, getting up, "Nice meeting you Lottie."  
"Yeah you too," I mumbled as she walked by me and out the door.

"So what's on your mind Lottie?" Angel asked, sitting down quietly on her bed.  
"Uh Ghost . . ." I mumbled honestly.

"Ah. I see. Take a seat kid," she said, patting the side of the bed next to her. Sighing, I walked over and sat down next to her.  
"So what's up?" she asked.

"I'm worried about Ghost," I admitted.  
"He's not acting out again is he?" she asked worriedly.

"As in hurting himself?" I checked, "Uh . . . Yeah, well, I saw him burning his wrists."  
"Oh God," she moaned, "Not again."

"Again?" I asked. Hattie had said the same thing.  
"Yeah . . ." she sighed, "When he was first changed he did that for a bit. He adjusted though . . . It didn't seem like he was going to do that again."

"I went into his room last night and he was sitting on the floor shaking," I told her, "With burns and cuts on his wrists."  
"I better go talk to him," she said, getting up.

I grabbed the sleeve of her baby blue blouse and pulled her back down. "No, please," I said, "Don't. He'll be mad that I told you."  
She sighed again. "Fine. I'll let it go this time. But if he does it again you better tell me."

"I will," I promise, "If you do something for me?"  
She eyed me warily. "What kind of something?"

"I need someone to tell me what happened to Ghost," I said, "Why he's so messed up."  
She sighed for about the billionth time it seemed. "It's not that simple . . . It's a variety of things actually . . ."

"Well can you tell me what?"  
"I guess. But you can't go around just telling people. Most people only know a piece or two. Few of us know what really happened," she said.

I nodded vigorously. "I won't go around telling anyone. I swear."  
"Okay. Well . . . One of the biggest things is . . . He was born blind."

My mind blanked. Ghost? Blind? I couldn't even imagine him being blind . . . Human, vulnerable, relatively helpless. It just didn't work in my mind.  
"Blind?" I repeated in my shock.

"Yeah I know. That's the part mostly everyone knows. He was born completely blind. His parents were this young couple - Marilyn and Scott."  
"Marilyn and Scott?" I repeated. The blonde couple? They didn't look like Ghost . . . right? Or did they? Or had I just ruled them out because of their hair color?

"You've heard of them?"  
"I saw some pictures of Ghost's. They had names written on the back," I mumbled, "I didn't think they were his parents. . ."

"The hair right? Yeah . . .Ghost dyed his hair when he became a vampire," she told me.  
Ghost was a blondie? That would've been rich if it wasn't for the fact that he used to be blind and I had a feeling this story got tragic real fast.

"Oh . . ." was all I said.  
To be honest, what more _could _I say?

"Yeah. So, on with the story. He had a little sister who was born when he was four, Connie. But when he was five they were both taken away from Marilyn and Scott by the state. I don't really know why, to be honest. He doesn't like to talk about it, obviously. But anyway, the two kids ended up getting separated. It was harder to find someone willing to take on a little blind kid. But eventually this woman, Julie Marie volunteered to be his foster mom. She was in her early twenties and single but it was decided that she was as fit as anybody. She owned her own business so she worked from home, which meant she could keep an eye on Ghost constantly. I don't know much about his life with her. Just that, besides being blind and everything, he had a pretty good life. I mean, he went to school and had friends . . . and him and Julie Marie were _really _close. She loved him like he was her real son and, as far as he was concerned she was practically his mother. I know that she took really good care of him and that he had a pretty good human life with her, despite everything . . . But when he was sixteen his parents - his real parents - apparently cleaned up their act enough to regain custody of their kids. I know they got Connie back in a heartbeat but Julie Marie didn't want to give up Ghost. Plus, the CPS wasn't too eager to give a blind kid back to them considering their past behaviors - whatever that was. But Marilyn and Scott kept fighting it . . . They really wanted him back. But Julie Marie wouldn't have it."

"I have a feeling this is where things go bad . . ." I guessed.  
I really couldn't believe I'd been anxious to hear this story.

"Oh yeah. Big time," she said, "Julie Marie took Ghost and the two of them fled the state. While driving that night . . . There was some kind of accident, nobody really knows exactly what happened. You know, cause Ghost was blind; he obviously didn't see what happened. Anyway, the car ended up flipping over into a lake. Hattie and I were doing a perimeter sweep of the lake that night, luckily, and saw the car go under. Of course, the two of us dove in after them to try and save them. But when we got there Julie Marie was already dead. Her neck had snapped. But Ghost was still alive - really scared and hurt but alive. I got him out and we pulled him onto the shore. He was, of course, terrified. Understandable, considering he was in a car accident and couldn't even see what was going on."

"That's so awful," I mumbled.  
Poor Ghost. No wonder mentioning Julie Marie had hurt him. God, I was so freaking stupid.

"Truly awful," she agreed, "I felt sick the whole time, seeing that poor women and this scared kid. When we got him on the bank he coughed up water for over a minute. I remember patting his back and telling him it was going to be okay while he hacked up water on his hands and knees. Once he got all the water out of his lungs he kept trying to crawl away from us. He was a half frozen to death, _blind _human with two broken ribs and a broken collarbone, and we were vampires so . . . obviously he didn't get very far. I took off my jacket and put it over him to try and warm him up . . . Hattie heated it up a bit. After that I picked him up and the two of us brought him back to HQ . . ."

I really really couldn't believe how anxious I'd been to hear this story. It made me sick with pity for Ghost. Which I knew he would hate.  
"When we got there we were starting to loose him a bit. He didn't seem really conscious but he was still breathing and everything. Everyone was pretty surprised to see us walk in with a blind, frozen, injured human. But Jessamine turned him anyway; she didn't want to see him die. I remember staying with him the entire time he was changing. . ."

I really really _really _couldn't believe I'd been anxious to hear this story.  
I was _the _stupidest person on the face of the Earth. I'd been so callous towards Ghost. I just hadn't known what he'd been through.

"When he woke up he was so . . . just completely freaked out by being able to _see _for the first time that it took us hours to get him to calm down enough to tell us his name," she continued, "In the meantime when we talked about him we called him 'ghost.' Because when Hattie and I first brought him in, Benjamin said he was 'as white as a ghost.' It just kind of stuck I guess. For the first few days after he was changed, he was so _so_ depressed. That's when he used to cut and burn himself. Jessamine had told Hattie and I that he was our responsibility since we brought him in. But even she was worried about him. He went a little crazy after finding out that Julie Marie was dead. He dyed his hair black and _somehow _managed to peirce his lip. I think he coated the needle in venom. He started dressing in all black and was morbid and aggressive towards everyone. He was Benjamin's kid hence he was also Benjamin's responsibility. Benjamin was at the end of his rope trying to deal with him though. Finally, after about two weeks, he kinda toned it down. He's gotten better over time. Since starting training and going on assignments he's gotten a lot better - distracted himself. But he's still moody . . . still hides behind those walls of his."

"That was a horrible story," I moaned, burying my head in my hands.  
"I know," she said.

"I have to go talk to him," I said, getting up and leaving before she could stop me. I went to Ghost's room to find it empty. It was still a mess from the night before.  
"Ghost?" I called, before sighing and sitting down on his bed. I picked up one of the pictures of Julie Marie.

It was of her and Xander. She was sitting in a big leather spinny chair in front of a desk with a computer on it. Sitting on her lap was the little blonde Xander who appeared about five in the picture. He was smiling, his glazed over eyes looking in the direction of Julie Marie. She had a hand around his wrist and was smiling too as she pressed his hand to her cheek. It wasn't until then that I realized that Xander _was _Ghost. I was a little slow on the uptake that day, thanks to the information overload. That little blind, adorable, green eyed, fair haired baby was Ghost. _Ghost. _He looked so innocent and happy. Nothing like he was now.

Suddenly Ghost materialized, leaning against the closed door. He must've been in the room the whole time, but invisible. I realized how ironic his power was. His whole life he'd never been able to see anybody . . .And now he could make sure nobody could see him.

"Why are you always looking through my stuff?" he asked.  
"I know," I said suddenly.

"Know what?" he asked, seeming unfazed.  
"Your story."

"And by that you mean . . ." he prompted. I looked at him, and for the first time _really _looked at him. His death black hair was straightened and was short in the back but passed his ears in the front, covering his eyebrows and sometimes falling into his eyes. His blood red eyes were big and darkly lashed. They were clear as day, not at all clouded like they used to be. His angular, pale, pretty face was blank and sheilded. He was wearing a purple _'talk nerdy to me' _t-shirt over his muscled torso and black skinny jeans and chains. His lip ring shone against his plump lips and he had a lollipop in his mouth. A silver choke chain glittered around his throat. His arms were crossed over his chest in a guarded posture.

After studying him I took a deep breath and said, "Can we talk?"


	17. I Didn't Come Here To Hurt You

**I Didn't Come Here To Hurt You But Now I Can't Stop**

"No good has ever come of those words . . ." he said.  
"C'mon. Please . . . for me?" I asked, wishing my eyes weren't red so I could do that puppy-dog thing.

"Why do girls think that if they say 'for me' it'll make guys do what they ask?"  
"Well it always worked for me in the past."

"Well it doesn't work on me," he said.  
"Come on," I urged, patting the space next to me.

"Fine . . . But the second you say something to piss me off I'm out of here," he said, sitting down, "Even though it is my room."  
I held back a laugh by thinking of Ghost being blind and Julie Marie. That killed the laughter.

"So . . . I think we need to talk," I said.  
"Obviously," he muttered.

"I'm serious."  
"I can tell . . . Whenever you're really _passionate _about an issue you feel the need to repeat yourself," he said.

"You know, it's kind of freaky how you know stuff about me I never even realized about myself," I said, "But now I know some stuff about you too."  
"Oh really? Like what?" he challenged.

"I know that you used to be blind."  
His body went rigid and his already guarded expression turned to ice. "So?" he asked tensely.

"So I think that has something to do with . . . your issues." Hopefully he would pick up that I was using 'issues' as a sensitive substitute for 'cutting yourself.'  
"Issues? I don't know what you're talking about," he said.

"Fine. I was trying to be sensitive but screw that," I said, "I was referring to your masochistic tendencies."  
"What a fancy way of wording it. I'm proud of you Charlotte, you're really broadening your vocabulary."

"Does calling me Charlotte some how make you feel safer whenever I bring up uncomfortable topics?" I asked.  
"Why do you always feel the need to analyze everything I do?" he retorted, "Does that make you feel more in charge of the situation?"

"Don't change the subject. We need to talk about you," I said.  
"What is it with you chicks and _talking_. Talking doesn't make things better," he snapped, "Talking doesn't change things."

"Talking can help you."  
"Help me? Help me what," he growled.

"Help you express your feelings . . . About things that are bothering you."  
He laughed. He actually _laughed_. It wasn't a real genuine laugh but I could still tell that he really found this funny.

"Shut _up_," I said, swatting his shoulder.  
"Sorry. But your girly talking-makes-everything-better crap is just amusing me to me," he said.

"Stop it. I'm serious."  
"How many times do you have to say that before you realize I don't care?"

"Don't care huh?" I challenged cruelly, "So you don't care that you haven't seen your real family since you were five? Or that you lived your entire life in the dark? Or that Julie Marie died in an accident that you survived."  
I had no idea why I'd said those horribly mean things. I hated myself for it seconds later.

"Ghost," I said mournfully, feeling awful as pain darkened his face and sadness filled his eyes. I wasn't sure if vampires could cry but he looked like he was about to.  
"Just don't Char," he said, using his pet name for me. Which meant he wasn't pissed . . . Just sad. Which in my book was worse.

He got up like he was going to leave but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. I wasn't sure if I was actually strong enough to force him or if he just let me.  
"Ghost . . . Please let me talk to you."

"Fine," he snapped, "But this is your last chance."  
"I just want to . . . I want to feel like I know you. And I want you to feel better," I told him, "Everything I know about you I heard from either Hattie or Angel. You haven't told me anything about yourself. I want to know what your life was like from your perspective."

"There's not much to know," he mumbled.  
"Not much to know?" I repeated, "Not much to know? Please. Your life is the kind they make LifeTime movies out of."

He just shrugged. "I was blind. So what?"  
"So that's horrible . . ." I said and then paused, "Wasn't it?"

"Not really," he said and it seemed like he was being honest. "You can't miss something you never had. I was born blind . . . I couldn't miss my eyesight if I never had it."  
"I guess . . .But wasn't it scary? Always living in the dark?"

"No. Darkness was the only thing I ever really knew. It just seemed natural to me," he said.  
"Didn't you ever feel helpless?" I asked.

"Only when people treated me like I was," he said, "I could take care of myself . . . But most people didn't believe that."  
"What people?"

"My parents. People at school. Friends sometimes," he said, "But never Julie Marie. She took care of me without taking away my independence . . ."  
I was going to ask about Julie Marie but bit my tongue. It probably wasn't a good idea. Instead I asked, "What was the worst part?"

"About being blind? Besides being treated like I was helpless . . . I'd have to say not knowing what to do with my life."  
"What'd you mean?"

"Well I never knew what I was going to do when I was older. There aren't too many career paths for a blind person . . . I just didn't know what I wanted."  
"What was the best part?" I asked, changing the subject.

He smiled thinly. "Not judging people by their appearances probably. When all you know is what you can hear, it doesn't matter what people look like. It's easier to choose friends that way. Even now, it doesn't really matter to me what people look like. I guess I have being blind to thank for that."

"Did you have a lot of friends growing up?"  
"I guess. I went to a school for the blind when I was younger. But when I got older I went to a normal school. They have braille at schools for a reason you know."

"Wasn't it hard?" I wondered, "Being the only blind person?"  
"Not really. I was a novelty in my high school. Everyone wanted to be friends with the blind kid. Especially girls. I guess there's something appealing about a guy you don't have to pretty yourself up for. I don't really know. But all my friends helped me out. Leading me to classes, telling my what's on the board, keeping me from walking into stuff."

"Wasn't that annoying?" I asked, aware that I was practically interrogating him. I was just so curious. And he promised to talk to me.  
He shrugged. "Sometimes. But sometimes it was necessary. At home I knew where everything was. In my head I had like a map of where all the furniture was. Julie Marie never rearranged anything or else I'd be walking into stuff all day. At school though it was a little harder. I knew where stuff in my classrooms where and relatively in the halls. But I was still blind, I couldn't find everything. My friends usually helped me out."

"Did you ever wish you had your eyesight?"  
"Of course. All the time. I had no idea what seeing was even like. I just wanted to know what it was like."

I didn't know how to respond to that. He was being so . . . thoughtful. So un-Ghost like. I wasn't sure how to react to that. Nervously I picked up the picture of him and Julie Marie I'd been examining before.

"What's she doing in this picture?" I asked, showing it to him.  
"Sitting?" he asked.

"No. I meant why is she holding your hand to her face?"  
He smiled a thin reminiscence smile. "So I could tell that she was smiling. She didn't have to though. I already knew. She was always smiling."

"Do you miss her?" I asked, aware that I shouldn't have.  
Miraculously, he didn't go all closed off. He gave me a real answer. "Of course I do. Every day. She was my mother."

"But not your real mother."  
"I lived with her for eleven years," he said, "I lived with my 'real' mother for five. The worst five years of my life."

"What'd they do to you?"  
"I really rather not talk about this," he mumbled.

"Okay," I said. I was trying to be somewhat respectful of his wishes. He'd answered my questions but I guess he still had his limits.  
"How come I have to open up to you and you've never opened up to me?" he asked.

"Because you already know everything about me," I said, "You've been watching me for a while, right? You know stuff about me I never even knew."  
"No. I just know how you act in certain situations . . . I don't know the thoughts behind your actions."

"Well I can honestly say that there really isn't much to know. You already know all the facts and really, my life isn't that interesting."  
"Still. There has to be something that bothers you. You're sixteen . . . You have to have something about your life that you hate."

"Not anymore. Ever since becoming a vampire everything in my human life just feels like a chore," I told him.  
"So you have no teenage angst? That's impossible," he said.

"Okay, so sometimes it annoys me that my parents make me sacrifice my free time to watch Paula and Dylan. But that's nothing compared to your story," I said.  
"Is it nothing to you?"

"Yes. Now."  
"And why is that?" he asked, his eyes boring into mine.

"Because of all this," I said, making a grand gesture around the room and then pausing. I took a deep breath before I said the next part. "And because of you."  
"Because of me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I took another deep breath. "I really, really like you Ghost," I said, "But I can't tell if you feel the same. I mean, sometimes it seems like you do . . . But others it feels like you hate me."  
I was staring at my hands in my lap during my whole mini speech. I couldn't look up and meet those red eyes. I regretted saying that instantly. I was just setting myself up to get hurt.

I felt a hand under my chin, lightly forcing my head up. I met Ghost's eyes, waiting for rejection.  
"I don't hate you Char," he told me, "I'm afraid of you. You're the only person I've ever cared this much about since Julie Marie. And caring about people makes you vulnerable. It sets you up to get hurt."

Again, I was shocked by his sincerity. Sometimes it seemed like it was impossible to predict how'd he act in a situation. Whenever I thought he would say something nice, he said something hurtful. Whenever I thought he would hurt me he made me feel amazing. It was so . . . confusing. Nice. But confusing.

"I would never hurt you," I told him.  
"Not intentionally," he corrected, "Julie Marie never meant to hurt me either. But then she died."

"Julie Marie was a human . . . I'm a vampire. Nothing's going to happen to me."  
"Being a vampire doesn't make you indestructable. It just means you can't die by accident. You can still be killed. A vampire can kill another vampire."

"Nobody's going to try to kill me," I said, "And what happened to Julie Marie . . . That was an accident."  
"Still. She didn't deserve to die because of me," he mumbled.

"Julie Marie wouldn't want you to hurt yourself," I said. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."  
"I don't want to either. But I have to . . ."

"No you don't."  
"Yes I do. How else could I live with myself for surviving an accident that killed the only person who ever really loved me?"

"Ghost. That wasn't your fault," I said. "That was an accident."  
"It was my fault," he said darkly, keeping his eyes down. "We wouldn't of been on the road that night if it wasn't for me."

"You nearly died that night too Ghost. You would be dead if it wasn't for Hattie and Angel."  
"Interfering," he corrected quietly, "I'd be dead if it wasn't for Hattie and Angel interfering. They shouldn't have saved me. I deserved to die."

"Don't ever say that," I snarled. "Would Julie Marie have wanted you to die? Would she have wanted you to hurt yourself?"  
"No," he mumbled.

"Then don't. Isn't that the least you can do for her?" I asked.  
"I . . . I guess."

"Good. Now can you tell me one last thing?" I asked, changing the subject rapidly, "Why did you always get back together with Angel after you broke up?"  
He sighed. "Angel was the first person I ever saw. The first _thing_ I ever saw. I'd never seen _anything _before her . . . I just felt this connection. But that's over now."

"Is that because . . . because you want to be with me?" I asked nervously. God oh God, _why _did I keep setting myself up for rejection.  
"I think so," he said with a slight smile.

"So . . . _We_'re together now?" I asked.  
"I think so," he said again.

"Like together together?" I checked, "Like a couple."  
"We could give it a shot."

"So . . . you're my boyfriend now?" I asked with a sly smile.  
"And that would make you my girlfriend," he said, leaning in closer so that his face was right in front of mine and his cool, faintly minty, breath washed over my face.

"I like the way that sounds," I said, my smile spreading.  
"Me too," he said, slowly pressing his lips to mine. It'd been about a week since our last kiss and I hadn't realized how anxious I'd been to kiss him again. His lips felt oddly warm compared to his breath. It was also odd because he seemed to alternate between feeling pysically cold and pysically warm.

Once again, I had to shut up my internal babbling so I could focus on kissing Ghost. Honestly, what kind of person has to work to concentrate on kissing a hot guy? I guess I had my short attention span to thank for that. But, once again again, when I started thinking about kissing Ghost that was all I could really focus on. His hair, his body, his lips, his tongue.

Thoughts of him just swirled around in my head, clouding it so that nothing but this moment seemed real.


	18. Touch My Man Again

**Touch My Man Again And I'll Fuck You Up**

When I walked into HQ the next day I was frantic. I'd woken up that morning and my throat had been on _fire. _And not just that, I felt like I was starving. I knew exactly what I wanted - no, correction, what I _needed_ - but I had no clue how to get it. What was I supposed to do? Sink my fangs into my mom's neck? Uh, no, I don't think so. Lucky for me though, it was a Saturday, which meant no babysitting duty. So I'd gotten dressed and then managed to be around my mom for the two minutes it took to tell her I was going over to Darcy's. Which was a total lie. Once I'd gotten her permission I'd bolted out the door.

I'd felt a little better outside. The clean, late August air helped clear my head a bit. I took a few deep breaths before going into my backyard and beginning my run to HQ. I'd never gone there during the day, but this was an emergency. I ran as fast as I could through the woods, aware that even the scents of the animals made my throat burn even more. I ignored it all though and barreled into the old warehouse when I reached it. I shoved the crates aside and slid in the trap door. I navigated through the 'dark' tunnels with familiar ease and found myself at the metal door. I punched in the password Hattie had given me and the door had clicked open.

Once I was inside I decided to go to Hattie's room. It was that or Jessamine's office. Jessamine's office was a teeny bit closer but I'd rather talk to Hattie. So I half jogged towards the girl's dorm area. Unfortunately though, I decided to take a short cut there. If I went through the common area the door on the other side would take me straight there. The common area was really just a big lounge with TVs and couches and tables and games and such.

I swerved through the many relaxing vampires towards the other end, and when I was nearly there, I was stopped. By Angel. I cursed my lazyness mentally. Angel didn't seem very angelic at the moment. She was wearing jeans and a baby pink blouse but her expression was hostile. Okay, it wasn't exactly 'hostile.' But she wasn't smiling and her eyes were narrowed slightly. That was hostile for Angel.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked me, seeming annoyed.  
"Angel. Please don't kill me." I said instantly. Somehow I just knew that she knew about me and Ghost already.

"I'm considering it . . ." she said, "Seeing as you've made a move on my boyfriend."  
"Okay first off, I did not. _He _kissed me. And secondly, how the hell do you know about that anyway?" I demanded. Seriously though, how _did _she know about that. I hadn't told anybody yet (not even Hattie) and Ghost didn't strike me as the kind of person who would go around announcing that.

"A psychic friend of mine tipped me off," she said, "But that's not the point."  
"Then what is the point?"

"Is that I helped you out the other day. And how do you repay me? By making a move on my boyfriend."  
"He's not your boyfriend," I said, "You guys broke up."

"We break up on a regular basis," she said, "We always get back together."  
"And you consider that a healthy relationship?"

"Ghost has commitment issues," she said flippantly, "It'll just take a while before he's ready for a serious relationship."  
"Angel. You can't be mad at me because your _ex_-boyfriend is interested in me," I said.

"Oh that's the beauty of being a vampire," she said, smiling threateningly, "I can be."  
"Angel," I tried to reason, "Let's be rational. I mean, I always thought the two of us could be friends."

"That's the sad part. I thought so too. But then you stole my boyfriend . . . That kinda halted those expectations."  
"C'mon Angel, you and Ghost aren't alike at all," I continued my attempts, "I mean, you're so . . . And he's so . . ."

"Yeah. We're both _so_," she muttered sarcastically.  
"What I'm trying to say is . . . that you're all wrong for each other. You're usually so . . . _angelic . . . _And he's so . . . Well you know how he is."

"Yeah. I know how he is. Because I saved his life and dated him for six months," she retorted.  
"C'mon. I don't want to fight you," I said, "Uh besides, I kinda can't talk right now." My throat was on _fire. _Trying to reason with her distracted me briefly but now the burn was back.

"Why? Off to go see _my _boyfriend?"  
"Angel. Just stop it," I said.

"Don't tell me what to do Charlotte," she snarled, "You're sixteen and I'm twenty three. You're not the boss of me."  
"You're twenty three?" I asked. She looked like she was eighteen . . .

"Yeah. And Jessamine's over a thousand. Looks can be deceiving. Get used to it," she snapped.  
"I'm just surprised . . . Because that makes you a pedophile," I noted.

"We're vampires Lottie," she said with an exasperated eye roll, "Human rules don't apply to us."  
"Okay . . . But you're still a cougar," I mumbled.

"Bitch," she said, shoving me. I stumbled back, surprised that she had pushed me. Then I remembered how she'd pulled Ghost's hair the other day and wasn't surprised.  
"Don't touch me," I snapped, shoving her back. I noticed that several of the people around the room were watching us. It was so crowded though that the ones who were farther away or fully engaged in something didn't seem to notice.

"Then don't touch my boyfriend," she said, shoving me again.  
"He's not your boyfriend," I snapped, shoving her back again.

"Slut," she snarled, pushing me again. Hard this time. Really _hard_. I stumbled and fell on my ass with a surprised 'oof' that sounded like a little girl and not me. The people sitting on the couch next to me turned around to look at me, then up to where Angel stood several feet away. They looked surprised.

"Crazy bitch," I hissed, getting to my feet. I stomped back over to her and shoved her again, harder this time. As hard as she had pushed me. She stumbled back several feet but didn't fall. She steadied herself - vampirelike - and then bared her fangs at me. She looked totally pissed as she, startlingly fast, ran at me. She clipped my shoulder and knocked me down again.

"Oh. That's it. You're dead," I hissed, getting up and running at her. A considerable amount of people had backed away from our little fight. Probably to watch. When I reached her I grabbed her shoulders, holding her in place to land a kick in her stomach. She flew back into a large TV, causing it to break. There was a rustling among the audience as she pulled herself out of the TV and came back at me. We started fighting very karate-like style. It wasn't your typical cat fight scenario. We were both too vamp-like and too good of fighters for that. We were punching and kicking and dodging and other such things.

Granted, she was a much better fighter then me and got in a few good shots. I fell a few times but I always got back up before she could pin me. Until she kicked me in the stomach, really freaking hard, and I flew backwards onto my ass. It hurt a lot so it took me a second to recover. During that time, she pounced on me, forcing me onto my back and pinning me. Using Hattie's advice, I tried to wretch myself out from underneath her. I couldn't though - she was too strong. So I decided to fight a little dirty. Continuing to thrash, I turned my neck so that my mouth was next to her wrist. Well, I _was _a vampire, I might as well fight like one. Quickly, I pressed my mouth to her wrist and bit down hard. I could feel my fangs sinking into her hard, cold skin. I could hear her shrieking at me and could taste her blood. It was sugary sweet and helped ease the burn in my throat a bit but didn't do much for the hollow feeling in my stomach.

She pulled her wrist out of my mouth harshly and I took advantage of her moment of surprised pain to try and get free. I used my one free hand to land a punch in her jaw. Which only pissed her off. Furiously, she slammed her injured hand back down around my wrist. But her hold wasn't as strong, so I wretched myself up and rolled us over. Which caused our vampire-like predatory fight to turn into a cat fight like fight; rolling on the floor and tearing at each other.

After an unmeasurable amount of time, while I was pinned under Angel, she was suddenly lifted off me. I looked up to see Ghost standing there with his arms wrapped around Angel. But not in a cuddly embrace. He had his arms around her waist, forcing her arms down around her sides. She had blood on her jeans and blouse - on her face and her hair too. Some of it was mine and some of it was her's. She was struggling against Ghost.

Ghost who looked like he'd just woken up. He had on flannel pajama pants and a navy hoodie. His hair was all messed up - not straightened like he always liked it. He had shadows under his eyes but his eyes were alert. He seemed frantically alert though, like he'd just been jolted awake.

I stayed on the floor, looking up at them and wiping blood away from under my nose with the back of my hand. I watched as Ghost harshly shoved Angel towards Benjamin - who was standing off to the side. Benjamin wrapped his arms around the struggling Angel like Ghost had done. I knew she had no hope of escaping Benjamin's grasp. If vampires who looked weak were amazingly strong, then vampires who looked strong where probably strong beyond belief.

Ghost bent down and extended his hand to me. I took it and he helped me up even though I knew I could've gotten up on my own if I wanted to. Once I was up I let go of his hand and shook my hair out - I could feel it starting to stick to my face with blood. I smelled blood all around me - mine and Angel's. It smelled so so so amazing. Angel's blood reminded me of frosting - a little too sweet that it kind of made me sick. But I was so thirsty that I wanted to drink it anyway. I'd drank some already so I knew that it only helped dull the burn - not the hunger. But anything, anything to make the burning stop was good in my book.

Trying to escape the sickly sweet enticing scent, I blew air out of my nose loudly, sounding like a dog. I did it again though, shaking my head and wincing slightly as I did. I expected someone to ask me what the hell I was doing, but nobody did.

"What the fuck?" Ghost demanded, "Can I sleep for five minutes without some chick coming into my room and telling me that my girlfriend's in a cat fight?"  
"And which one of us is your girlfriend?" I asked in a sneer. I knew the answer but maybe Angel needed some closure.

"You are Char," he said. "Angel, I already told you. We're finished - for good this time. I'm tired of all this."  
"Like hell you are," she snarled, elbowing Benjamin hard enough that he loosened his grip enough for her to get free. She didn't attack me though, she just marched over to Ghost. He turned around to face her with a blank expression. They stood toe-to-toe. They were practically the same height.

"I am," he said plainly.  
She somehow managed to get even closer to him. Reminding me of the argument I'd spyed on, she reached out and grabbed his hair. The only difference was that this time, they knew I was watching. And not just me, but dozens of other people were quietly watching also.

"Don't forget that you owe me Ghost," she snarled, "Don't forget that I own you."  
There were a few childish "Oohh's" from the onlookers. I guess when you don't age it's easier to maintain childish tendencies.

"You don't own me," he snarled, "And I don't owe you anything."  
"Except your life," she reminded him cruelly.

"You chose to save me," he snarled, "I didn't ask you to."  
"Well I'm _sorry _for saving the life of a blind person," she hissed sarcastically. "Yeah. Clearly I'm a very selfish person."

"You didn't do it for me," he growled at her.  
"Then who did I do it for?" she challenged, "Because I can't think of any 'ulterior motives' that would inspire me to save you."

He didn't say anything, but he glared at her with an intensity that was worth at least four insults.  
She let go of his hair violently, half shoving him. "Yeah. That's what I thought," she snapped.

"Whatever. Fuck you Angel. I'm done," he snarled, turning around and stalking away.  
"Done with what? Done with me?" she called, "I don't think so."

Ghost didn't stop or turn around, but I noticed his body seemed to tense.  
"Ghost," Angel said primly in a smug sing song voice; sounding oddly sweet all of a sudden. She had a tone like she had some kind of secret weapon and he was forgetting about it. She smiled angelically and put her hands behind her back properly.

Automatically, he stopped and turned around at the sound of his nickname. He stood there, not moving, just glaring at Angel.  
"Come here," she ordered like she was talking to a dog. That pissed me off marginally.

He didn't move. Just continued to glare steadily at Angel with deep hatred and resentment.  
This seemed to make her even angrier. "Come here _right now,_" she commanded in a highly authoritative voice. A voice that expected to be obeyed.

"No," he snarled at her, "I'm done taking orders from you Angel. I'm done being your lapdog. I'm just done with you. So go burn in hell you hateful skank."  
With that, he stalked out of the common room, slamming the door behind him with enough force to cause the entire wall to shake.

I whipped around to face Angel. I stomped over to her and glared up at her. I was seven years younger then her and practically a head shorter but I refused to be intimidated by her.  
"I agree with Ghost," I snarled, "I hope you rot in hell you bitch."  
"Whatever . . . Crazy little whore," she muttered.

"Oh and one last thing _Angel. _If you ever touch _my_ boyfriend again I'll show you just how crazy I can be. got it? Bitch."


	19. My Addictions Have No Boundaries

**My Addictions Have No Boundaries, Now I'm Crying Out For More**

"Quiet," Ghost warned me in a whispered voice. We were standing on the roof of an apartment building in the city. It was dark, even though it was the middle of the day. Black clouds blocked out the sun and rain fell down in torrents. Thunder cracked occasionally and lightening lit up the sky.

Ghost was standing on the edge of the building looking down at the city below. He was completely motionless for a while. I stood several feet behind him, with my hair whipping crazily in the wind. Eventually, he turned around to face me. His red eyes shone out of the relative darkness and his pale face was expressionless. He was drenched and his wet hair was plastered to his face.

He walked over to the left side of the building, where there was a gap between it and the next building.  
"Follow my lead," he told me as he jumped off the side of the building. I ran over to the edge and looked down to see him standing in the alley at least eighty feet below. Gulping slightly, I jumped off too. I fell through the air for a few seconds before landing on the wet pavement silently.

We were both standing in a filthy alley with garbage and newspapers strewn around. Other then that though, it was empty. Silently, Ghost stalked over to the edge of the alley where I could see an empty sidewalk. Ghost looked both ways like he was about to cross a street before stepping back into the cover of the alley.

"Watch and wait," he told me, taking another step back.

After my fight with Angel that morning I'd gone stomping out of the room, looking for Hattie so I could get rid of the awful burn. But I'd gone to her room and she wasn't there. While I was continuing my search for her I ran into Ghost, who had changed into grey skinny jeans and a thin black rain jacket. I'd told him about my search for Hattie and he'd said she was out, although he hadn't said where. I'd then told him about my thirst and he'd offered to take me on my first hunt. I was a little nervous about that and still was. He'd led me through the woods for nearly two hours before arriving at the city. We'd scaled buildings and jumped over rooftops until stopping on that one apartment building. And now, we were in a disgusting alley. Watching and waiting.

We waited for what seemed like an eternity. Every time a human passed by I would nearly lunge at them and Ghost would have to put up an arm to stop me. He would tell me that they weren't right. I hadn't had a clue what he meant by that, but I'd dealt with it. The more time I spent in the alley with Ghost the more I was reminded of the way he'd used to act around me. Like a predator.

I was harshly reminded of that when two scraggly looking humans walked by. It was a male and and a female, appearing to be in their late teens. They had ratty clothes and greasy hair. They looked pale, but not vampire pale, and undernourished. They both had identical looks of uneasyness in their darting, bloodshot eyes.

Assuming that these humans weren't right either, I struggled to maintain my thirst. And was surprised when Ghost suddenly jumped out of the alley, grabbing the two skinny humans by the arms and flinging them into the alley with inhuman strength. They both screamed and yelled when they landed on the hard pavement but it was drowned out by the storm. I was almost surprised by their frailty and vulnerability. It seemed odd to me, after two weeks spent mostly among vampires, that anybody could be so . . . weak.

They were both scrambling to their feet when Ghost suddenly materialized next to them.  
"Take your pick," he told me as he put a foot lightly on the female's stomach to prevent her from getting up.

I immediatly went for the one closest to me, the guy. I couldn't help but lift him off the ground as if he was a doll and slam him into the wall. He screamed and continued to struggle but my hands around his wrists were enough to keep him in place. I was about to sink my fangs into his neck when I heard Ghost's voice.

"Try not to kill him," he said, "Or inject any venom."  
I turned my head around to look at Ghost. He had the skinny brunette girl pinned up against the wall across from me. She was struggling feebly against his iron grip. He had one hand over her mouth and one around her wrist. He must've felt my gaze on his back because he suddenly turned his head to look at me.

He smiled coldly. "Watch and learn," he told me as he leaned into the girl's neck. I could hear the ripping of flesh and smell the exposed blood. She screamed against his hand. The smell of her blood combined with Ghost's pleasured moans drove me over the deep end. I turned to the guy I had pinned and sunk my teeth into his neck. He screamed but I was too distracted by the amazing taste that rushed over my tongue. This was nothing like Angel's blood, or even Ghost's. This was extraordinary. Warm, nutrient filled, living human blood.

The taste was like nothing I could ever describe. Angel's blood tasted like teeth rotting suggary frosting and Ghost's blood had tasted like rich dark chocolate. But this human blood didn't seem to have any specific taste at all. It tasted . . . vital. Something about it reminded me of a really meaty steak. It just tasted like life and dark dark pleasure. I couldn't properly describe it to my brain. It was just . . . Amazing. I wanted to just drown in it.

"I think that's enough Lottie," came a voice. Ghost's voice. I was barely aware of the hand on my shoulder. I was only aware of the taste of the blood and the way it made me feel.  
"You're going to kill him," Ghost said. I heard him but the words were just gibberish to me. I was lost in the sensation that was blood.

"Stop," came Ghost's voice, more commanding then before. The hand on my shoulder tightened and suddenly I was being flung backwards. I slammed into the brick wall with a large crashing sound as several bricks rattled and fell out of the wall. It didn't hurt but I felt lightheaded for some reason . . . and strong. Impossibly strong. More so then even when I first became a vampire. I felt recharged.

I shook my head and looked out across from me. Slumped against the wall opposite me was the undernourished looking human male. He seemed unconscious and paler then before. There was a gash on his neck with blood dripping out of it. Blood . . . That sweet, amazing blood. I was about to jump up and pounce on the guy but something stopped me. Words were swirling around in my brain . . . Something Ghost had said . . . He'd told me to stop. Or else . . . Or else I'd kill him. That's when it clicked for me; the meaningless words coming together through the haze to make sense in my brain. If I kept drinking I would kill the human. I didn't want to kill anyone.

I was trying not to breath through my nose to avoid smelling the blood, but I could still taste it in the air. There was more blood, closer to me. I looked next to me and saw the brunette girl slumped against the dumpster. She was unconscious but didn't seem any paler. I looked at her neck and saw blood . . . But the wound wasn't bleeding anymore. And another thing, the girl was breathing evenly like a normal person sleeping; not in shallow gasps like the other guy.

I looked back at the guy and saw Ghost crouched next to him. Ghost looked up at me and met my eyes. He made a 'come here' gesture. Cautiously, I pulled myself out of the dent I'd created in the wall and slowly walked over to them. I avoided looked at the blood dripping out of the guy's neck.

"Lick the wound," Ghost told me as he stood up.  
"What?" I asked in surprise.

"The venom will close up the bite," he told me.  
I just stared at him. That was freaking crazy.

He sighed. "Like this," he said, taking a step closer to me and leaning over so that his lips were at my jugular. I froze when I felt his tongue tracing a line up my neck. I was still rooted in place when he pulled away and straightened up. I stared at him and he motioned to the guy on the floor with a sweeping gesture.

Feeling somewhat dazed, I knelt down on the wet ground next to the guy. Doing my best not to breath I crawled closer to his neck. I closed my eyes to avoid looking at the blood and nervously licked the bite wound. Tasting the blood on my tongue, I nearly bit him again. It took all my willpower not to. Once I was done I jumped up and back at least five feet. I braced myself against a dumpster and looked at the human with wide eyes while I hyperventilated from effort. I stared at the wound on his neck in amazement as it closed up before my eyes. No more blood was dripping out but the blood that was already on his neck was driving me crazy.

"Come here," Ghost beckoned quietly. Slowly, I walked over to them again.  
"Place a hand on his shoulder," he told me.

"Why?" I asked, trying to advert my eyes from the blood on the guy.  
"Remember back when you were a human and I was trying to convince you to come with me one day while you were watching TV?" he asked, "Well remember how you were tired so I put a hand on your shoulder and sudenly you didn't feel tired anymore?"

I'd actually forgotten about that.

When I didn't say anything, he continued. "I gave you some of my strength. Vampires can do that. It's so we don't have to kill every human we feed from."  
"How do I do that?" I asked.

"Just do what I tell you. Now, put a hand on his shoulder."  
I obeyed and dropped to my knees next to the guy. I put a hand on his shoulder, without daring to take in a single breath. I looked up at Ghost questioningly, waiting for the next step.

"Now concentrate on how you feel right now," he told me, "You feel powerful right?"  
I simply nodded.

"Now think about the human," he told me. "Look at him and think of how weak he is."  
That wasn't exactly something I wanted to do, but I did as he said and turned to look at the human. Looking at his dirty face and listening to his frantic heartbeat and haggard breathing I felt a stab of pity. I could've killed this weak, defenseless little human.

"Now. Don't you wish you could help him?" Ghost asked.  
I nodded again.

"Try to."

That wasn't exactly helpful but I did. I was reminded of how Hattie had held me down and burned me, begging me to do something neither of us knew anything about. I remembered how desperate I'd been to make something happen, to escape the pain. I didn't have that desperation now, but I did have remorse. Lots and lots of remorse. I focused on that and suddenly I felt like I could feel blood moving through my veins. I felt something hot moving inside me down my arm, towards the hand that was on the human's shoulder. When the heat reached my hand I felt it leave me. Along with a bit of my energized feeling.

I was rewarded for my sacrifice though a second later though when I noticed a bit of color return to the guy's face. His breathing slowed then, becoming more even and sounding like he was sleeping peacefully. His hearbeat seemed to slow down a little bit too, seeming less panicked.

I found myself smiling as I got to my feet. I felt much better, still a little thirsty I had to admit, but much better. The burn in my throat and the desperately hollow feeling in my stomach were gone. Plus, most of the guilt had disappeared. I hadn't killed anybody. I looked over at Ghost to see that he was looking at me too.

"One more?" he asked with a bemused smile.


	20. Don't Need Another Perfect Line

**Don't Need Another Perfect Line**

When I got the news I was sitting in bed reading. I'd just returned from my hunting trip with Ghost a few hours ago and then taken a hot shower. So I was all cozy and clean, with my heavy blankets pulled up around me and _Tempted _in my hands. I felt full and happy and safe and content when my mom walked in.

Her short brown hair was down and she had on her matching blue-cloud pajamas. She was smiling.  
"Guess what honey," she said.

"What?" I asked.  
"Grandma's coming to visit."

"Gran?" I asked excitedly.  
"Yep. She's coming up tomorrow," she told me.

"Awesome!" I exclaimed. I absoloutly adored my mom's mom, Gran. She was a kick-ass old lady, I had to say. She was one tough senior citizen, for sure. She lived down south in Georgia and was _hysterical_. She told it like it was and was pretty intimidating when she wanted to be.

"I'm glad you're so excited," my mom said with a slight smile.  
"She couldn't of come at a better time . . . Now she can . . . Can meet my new boyfriend," I said hesitantly.

My mom's smile faded. "Boyfriend?" she repeated in shock.  
"Uh yeah . . . We just started going out the other day," I said nervously, "I guess I didn't get the chance to tell you."

She crossed the room and sat down at the foot of my bed. "So . . . Who is this boy?" she asked.  
"Uh . . . His name's Xander," I told her. I highly doubted telling her I was dating a guy named 'Ghost' would go over too well.

"Interesting name. How old is he?" she grilled me.  
"Seventeen," I said automatically.

"Does he go to your school?"  
"Uh no. I met him at the mall."

"What's he like? Is he cute? Smart?" she asked, dropping the investigation and turning into my-best-friend-mom.  
"Both," I said with a smile.

"Nice," she said, "Does he play any sports?"  
"No not really . . . He's into . . . Mixed martial arts kinda stuff," I said. Well, it was basically true. Actually, it wasn't until then that I realized that I'd never actually seen him fight. . .

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Sounds kind of . . . dangerous," she said, mom-like.  
"He's really a nice guy. A little moody sometimes, I'll admit. But still, really great," I insisted.

"Oh well, you should invite him over to dinner tomorrow," she suggested, "That way we can meet him . . .And Gran can meet him."  
And everyone in the Finch family (my mom's side) knew that nobody brought a new person into the family without consulting the family matriarch, Gran. That even included boyfriends.

"Uh yeah, okay sure," I stuttered. So Ghost would be subjected to Sunday night dinner (that neither of us could eat) with the Helling family and the Finch family Matriarch. Oh goodie. Ghost was just going to be _thrilled. _

"Anything else you'd like to tell me about this boy before I find out on my own?"  
Well mom, you may find it interesting that my boyfriend drinks blood. Uh no, I don't think so.

"Well . . . He used to cut himself," I admitted. I hadn't wanted to tell her but I had wanted to tell her as much of the truth that I could.  
"Cut himself?" she repeated.

"Yeah. You know like self harm."  
"What is _wrong _with him?" she demanded. I had a problem with her tone, too judgy for my liking.

"There's nothing _wrong _with him," I hissed, having to work to keep myself from baring my fangs at her. "He's just had a hard life. Besides, he's better now."  
"What happened to him?" she asked, her tone marginally less judgy.

I decided I'd give her a human-safe edited version. "Well . . . When he was like five he was taken away from his parents for some reason. He doesn't like to talk about it. But his foster mom was this single woman. He lived with her for most of his life but she was killed in a car accident a few months ago. He lives in a group home now."

My mom looked a little stunned. "Um well . . . Uh _wow_. I'm surprised you're with someone . . . with such a troubled past."  
"We're good for each other," was all I said. It was true though. We were.

"Anything else I should know?" she asked.  
"Actually um yes . . . Well he was blind." I felt like that was an important thing for her to know. That way she'd know to watch what she said around him.

"He's blind?" she asked, seeming shocked.  
"No. He _was _blind," I corrected. "He had surgery done on his eyes a few months ago."

"So he's no longer blind?" she checked.  
"No," I assured, "But just be careful what you say around him. No jokes that begin 'a blind guy walks into a bar.' Okay?"

"Have you ever known me to tell a bar joke?" she asked.  
"No . . . I just want you to pass along the warning to dad," I said.

"Ohhhh. So you want me to tell your dad about your boyfriend?"  
"Yes. It would be helpful," I said.

She laughed. "I guess that would be for the best. God knows he won't be pleased about his baby girl dating."  
"Paula is his baby girl," I told her, "I'm sixteen."

"Yes, but you're our first born," she said, "We'll always be super protective of you."  
"You have to other kids you could be protective of."

"Yeah, but since you're the oldest you're kind of like our guinea pig," she explained.  
"That makes me feel special," I mumbled.

She laughed, leaning over to kiss me on the forehead. "Okay, well I'll see you in the morning," she said, getting up, "Try to get some sleep."  
Yeah, like that was possible.

The second she left I jumped out of bed. Underneath the covers I was fully dressed in black skinny jeans and a grey zip up hoodie over a slightly showing purple t-shirt. I slipped my feet into my sneakers and put my cell in my pocket. Then I opened up my window and slipped out, hanging on to the windowsill by one hand. With the other hand, I closed the screen and then dropped down to the ground.

I ran through the woods back to HQ, feeling like I was just there. Once I was inside, I started looking for Ghost. I refused to take any shortcuts and prayed I wouldn't run into Angel. I didn't. And when I reached Ghost's room and didn't see him in there but I could hear a shower running from the other side of the bathroom door.

"Ghost!" I called.  
"Hold on a sec Char!" he called.

I sat down on his bed, using all my willpower to keep from rummaging through his stuff. I just curled up against his pillow and just glanced around his room. It was pretty nice - very teen boy like. He had posters for a lot of rock bands that I was familiar with dotting his black walls. He had a plasma screen, much bigger then mine, on the wall across from his bed. He also had a regular mahogany desk with a closed black laptop on it; decorated in all different sorts of bumper stickers. There was a black bean bag chair in the corner next to a stereo and stacks of CD's. A few t-shirts were abandoned on the floor along with a knotted pair of headphones. The bed I was sitting on was a double with a simple black covering, but the pillowcase had skulls on it. Very teen guy - very Ghost.

After a while the water turned off and after a few minutes, Ghost emerged, followed by a ton of steam. He was dressed in his traditional grey skinny jeans but no chains at the moment. His hair was all wet and he was in the process of pulling a black t-shirt on. I got just a glimpse of his abs - which were definitely impressive - before he pulled the t-shirt over them. I blinked, semi dazed by his hotness, and looked at his shirt. _For Your Viewing Pleasure, _it read. Well that's quiet accurate.

"What's up?" he asked, grabbing a white towel and drying off his dripping hair.  
"My parents want you to come to dinner tonight," he said.

"What?"  
"Uh yeah. I sort of told them about us . . ." I mumbled.

"And what on Earth possessed you to do _that_?" he demanded.  
"Well, I feel like I'm lieing to them just way too much," I explained, "And I just wanted to tell them as much as I could."

"So I'm assuming you left out the part about us being undead?" he checked.  
"It just didn't seem very important . . ."

"Uh huh, yeah, right. So now I'm going to have to pretend to be a polite and pleasant human. None of which I am. And on top of that, I'll have to choke down human food that I'll just end up vomiting up later. Sounds like a ton of fun . . ." he muttered sarcastically.

"Oh shut up," I said, "I'll have to eat to you know."  
"Yeah, but you don't have to pretend to be a 'nice boy' towards your parents," he said.

"And my grandmother," I added.  
"Your grandmother's gonna be there too? Oh fabulous . . ."

"You got a problem with my grandmother?" I asked.  
"Me? Hell no, I'm sure she's a very nice lady . . . And elderly. Yes, I'm sure she's elderly."

"Shut up," I muttered, "C'mon, just do this one little thing for me."  
"Fine, but you owe me," he said, "And you can be sure my request will involve lace . . .Oh and sequins."

"Excuse me?"  
"The outfit I shall require you to wear," he elaborated.

"Ugh hell no," I said.  
"Fine, then I'm just going to wear one of my inappropriate message tee's to your house tomorrow and be exceptionally rude."

I glared. "We'll discuss the conditions of the agreement later. Okay?"


	21. Where Do I Hide

**Where Do I Hide**

When the doorbell rang, I ran from the kitchen shouting "I got it!" I skidded to a stop by the door and paused to smooth my skirt. Taking a quick breath and smiling, before opening the door. Ghost was standing there, looking a little more 'parent friendly' then usual. He still had his black hair styled in it's usual manner with his bangs falling into his eyes. He was wearing a black and grey striped polo, which was more proper then his usually vulgar message tees, but still had his black jeans. He was wearing his contacts - just like I was - so his eyes were that murky purple. He's left his lip ring in but I didn't think that was a big deal, after all I had one too. Although mine was just a stud and therefore not as noticeable as Ghost's.

"Well don't you clean up nice," I said, even though there wasn't that much different about him. Except for the absent of t-shirts and chains.  
"I could say the same thing," he said, gesturing to me.

I briefly looked down at myself and understood how he could come to that conclusion. Instead of my usual ripped skinny jeans I was wearing a soft short grey skirt. But since I was me, I had fishnet stockings on too, just because. For a top I had a long sleeved, black silk button up shirt that my grandma had given me. To spruce it up a bit, I had on a faux diamond choker and some pretty girly bracelets.

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" I asked.  
"You're welcome."

"I'll take that as a yes," I said, opening the door the rest of the way and stepping back, "Well come in."  
He nodded and walked in. I closed the door behind him.

"Why don't you go meet my dad," I suggested, "He's in the dining room."  
"Throwing me to the wolves?" he teased.

"No. I have to go help my grandma in the kitchen," I explained, "My mom's getting Paula and Dylan ready."  
He sighed. "Fine, but if your dad grills me . . ." he trailed off.

"Look, it'll be fine," I said, "I'll introduce you two."  
"Great," he said as I linked arms with him, "I'd love to meet my executioner."

I rolled my eyes as I led him down the hallway and into the dining room. Pacing around the room with a drink in his hand was my dad. He was your average middle-aged man; dark hair that was thinning slightly. He was pretty pale - nowhere near as pale as Ghost or I though - with dark brown eyes like Paula and Dylan. He was dressed pretty nicely in brown pants and a blue button up shirt; this dinner was a pretty big deal for all of us. Gran was up and cooking one of her amazing meals, not to mention my first real boyfriend (that they knew about) was coming to dinner.

He looked up at us as we walked in and his eyes immediately honed in on Ghost. I grumbled internally. Would it have killed Ghost to look just a tad more presentable? Like perhaps taking out the lip ring and ditching the black jeans. I hadn't had a problem with them earlier, but seeing my dad's speculative and slightly disapproving look made me nervous. This dinner had the potential to be catastrophic.

"Daddy, this is Xander," I said.  
Ghost gave me a sharp glance out of the corner of his eyes that I ignored. He was either miffed at me for using his real name or he was just surprised that I actually knew it. Probably both.

"Nice to meet you Xander," my dad said gruffly, approaching us.  
"Likewise Mr. Helling," Ghost said, shaking my father's hand.

"Interesting name you got there," my dad noted. Why did everyone say that? It wasn't that weird of a name . . . Not as weird as the name Ghost anyway . . .  
"It's Greek," he said simply. I was surprised; turned out Ghost had the ability to be polite. Who would've known?

"Interesting. Lottie? Why don't you go help your grandmother in the kitchen?" my dad suggested, seemingly casual, "I'd like to talk to Xander for a moment."  
Ghost shot me a betrayed glare. Yeah, I had a feeling daddy would want to grill my new boyfriend alone. Poor Ghost. Oh well, not like there was anything I could do about it.

"Sure thing Daddy," I agreed perkily, prancing out of the room and into the kitchen, where Gran was taking the roast out of the oven. Gran was a small woman (I got my petite height of five one from her; she was only like five two) but somehow that only made her more intimidating. She had her straight silver hair cut short in a boyish style. Her skin was pretty tan from all the constant Georgia sunshine. Her heart shaped face was wrinkled but it was obvious that she used to be very beautiful. Her eyes were a crystal blue that looked just like mine used to. She'd been the first human who had noticed the change in my eye color when she arrived. I'd said it was the contacts, which wasn't exactly lieing.

"I see boyfriend's here," she noted in a slow southern drawl, "And that your father is already roasting him over the coals. Bound to be an interesting night Lottie."  
"Or an awful one," I mumbled, stirring the stew that was cooking in the large pot over the stove.

Gran laughed as she placed the roast on the counter. "At least we'll have good food. I hope that boy has an appetite."  
He sure does have an appetite . . . for human blood. But somehow I doubted that was on the menu . . .

"I'm sure he'll love your cooking Gran."  
"Course he will. No man in all of these fifty states could possible resist my pot roast. What I meant was that he better eat his fill. You know I hate seeing young folks starving themselves now a days. Kids gotta eat, 'aint healthy to be so skinny."

"You're one to talk Gran," I teased, "You're so thin yet you eat like a football player. I don't know how you manage that . . ."  
"It's called exercise, Lots," she told me, "Kids your age should give it a try sometime."

"I weight ninety pounds Gran," I informed her, "Not to mention that I go running everyday." _At eighty miles an hour, _I added silently.  
"Good for you Lots," she said, "Is your boyfriend as into exercising as you are?"

"Oh yeah, defiantly. He goes running with me sometimes. He's into . . . Like mixed martial arts sort of stuff." As was I . . .  
"Ahh . . .fighting. Recreational fighting. I like the sound of that," she mused, "People gotta know how to defend themselves."

"Oh, like you Gran?" I teased.  
"You bet girlie. No one with an ounce of sense would come within a foot of this old woman, you know that."

"True. When you're sitting on your porch with your green tea and your shotgun everybody knows you mean business."  
"You best believe," she agreed, "And you know this woman don't drink no green tea. Coffee deary . . . Black."

"Like your soul?" I teased.  
"No," she said, getting the biscuits out of the oven, "Like yours."

I laughed. God I loved my grandma. Why did she have to live so far away?  
"Is that some kind of Goth crack?" I asked.

"A Goth joke? Coming from me? Heaven's no. You know well that I was just like you when I was a teenager."  
"Was that before or after the invention of fire?"

"Oh you hush. When I was your age it was . . . It was 1956. And, if my memory serves me, then we did have fire in the fifties."  
"That's a shocker," I mumbled, as Gran began to mash the potatoes with an old fashioned whisk. Oh how I pitied those potatoes - at the mercy of my grandmother.

"Do they teach you anything in public school anymore?"  
"I was being sarcastic Gran," I told her, placing the warm biscuits in a basket.

"So was I," she said, "I may be old girlie, but I 'aint slow."  
"You don't have to tell me."

"You've got a mouth on you Lottie," my grandmother observed, "Even more so then the last time I saw you. I like that, even if you are much too cocky."  
Telling it like it was . . . Leave it to Gran.

"You remind me of a friend of mine," I noted, "Hattie. She never holds anything back, always says what's on her mind."  
"Sounds like someone I'd like," she mused, "I used to be friends with a girl named Hattie when I was young. It's a very old fashioned name . . ."

"Yeah. She's only seventeen."  
"I bet her mother named her after a grandmother or something," she said.

"Probably," I agreed.  
"So tell me darlin, how're your friends?" she asked as she scooped the mashed potatoes out of the pot and into a bowl.

"They're good. Darcy wants to come by to see you."  
"Oh Darcy . . . She's a nice girl. Well maybe nice isn't the correct term . . . More like spunky. And you know how I like spunk."

"That you do," I agreed.  
"Okay, we better start bringing this food out," she said.

"It's gonna take a U-haul to carry all this stuff," I mumbled, glancing around the kitchen.  
"We'll survive," she told me.

"What makes you so sure?" I asked sarcastically, grabbing the pot roast.  
"I'm a Finch woman. So are you," she said simply, "We always do."

"I'm not a Finch," I told her as she picked up the potatoes, "I'm a Helling."  
"You're both," she reasoned.

I didn't have a response to that so I just silently carried the food into the dining room with her. When we walked in, my dad and Ghost both looked up. Ghost looked elated while my dad seemed annoyed with the interruption. Probably wanted to keep grilling Ghost privately. Yeah well, I wasn't letting my dad scare Ghost away. Like that was even possible . . .

"Looks good," my dad said as we placed the food on the table.  
"Always is Robert," Gran muttered, "Now why don't you go help us bring in some of the food? Cooking may be women's work but carrying a few dishes never killed a man."

My dad laughed a little. "Whatever you say," he mumbled, still laughing as he left. But not without giving Ghost a second glance.  
"So you're Lottie's new beau?" Gran asked after he left, eyeing Ghost.

"And you must be Lottie's grandmother," Ghost said.  
"Feel free to call me Gran," she said, "Everyone does."

"I'm Xander," he told her with just the faintest touch of reluctance. It was obvious that he didn't like being referred to by his birth name.  
"Pretty name," Gran acknowledged, "Matches the rest of you."

I winced slightly. Oh God . . .  
"Come again?" Ghost asked although he'd obviously heard her.

"I was just saying that you're mighty nice to look at," she said as if that was a normal thing to say.  
I groaned but Ghost didn't look mortified. He was smirking with amusement. I should've known he would find that funny.

"I get that a lot," he said, still smirking.  
"I'm sure you do, good looking young man like you," she mused, "Accounts for your overconfidence too."

"Overconfident?" he asked, still smirking, "Really? I think I possess the perfect amount of confidence considering how wonderful I am."  
Gran laughed. "You're cocky boy. Amusing though. Now sit. We'll see how this goes."

Hididng my mortification, I sat down next to Ghost just as my dad came in with the biscuits and a large bowl of stew.  
"I'll get the rest of that Robert," Gran said, "You go tell Karen that dinner is ready."

"Alright," my father agreed, disappearing. Gran smiled at me deviously before disappearing as well.  
"You have an odd family," Ghost noted.

"Yeah . . . Sorry about what my dad probably subjected you to," I apologized.  
"I felt like I was on trial for murder," he said.

I laughed slightly. "Sorry about Gran too," I added.  
"She seems pretty cool . . . Aside from the vague pedophilia vibe," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, and sorry in advance for my mom and my brother and sister," I added.  
"This should go well . . ." he mumbled.

My mom came in then, with Paula and Dylan in tow. She had a green dress on and had Dylan and Paula cleaned up. They were both squirming though - looking nice wasn't normal for them.

"Oh hello, you must be Xander," my mom said as she sat the kids down. Ghost stood up and shook her hand.  
"Nice to meet you Mrs. Helling," he said politely. I had to say, I was impressed.

My mom smiled slightly and then looked down at the small children clinging to her.  
"Paula, Dylan. This is Xander," she told them kindly.

"Awe you Lottie's boyfwiend?" Paula asked, pronouncing her r's wrong as usual.  
Ghost smiled down at her. "Yeah," he said, "I am."

"I heawd herw talking on the phone to Dawcy about you," she said.  
"Hey, I have a question. Why does my sister like playing with your lip ring?" Dylan added.

I felt myself blushing furiously. I had figured out recently that vampires could blush and I was defiantly blushing then. That was the last time I was _ever _talking on the phone while babysitting. I thought I was going to die. They'd just said that in front of Ghost and my _mom_. I should've thrown myself out the window right then. But unfortunatly, I wasn't that smart.

"I don't know actually. . ." Ghost said with a smile before I looked away and buried my face in my hands to avoid my mom's probably mortified expression.  
"Um . . . children why don't you sit down?" I heard my mom say nervously. I heard the skidding of chairs against the wooden floors and then felt Ghost's presence next to me.

Feeling totally embarrassed, I lifted my head and looked around. My mom was smiling nervously while Paula and Dylan were fidgeting around obliviously. Ghost looked amused but a little sheepish too. When my dad walked in I was saved from trying to continue the dead conversation. He was barely in the door when Gran came in behind him, carrying more dishes then she should.

"Dinner is served darlins," she announced, putting down the bowl of steamed vegetables, ham, and sweet potatoes.  
She sat down at the head of the table, looking around the uncomfortable bunch. "Well, this is bound to be an interesting night, 'aint it?" she said.

All I could do was pray that somebody would kill me before I died of embarrassment.


	22. If You Want To Get Out Alive

**If You Want To Get Out Alive, Run For Your Life**

"Is cousin Evie going to joining us?" my mom asked, tilting her head to the side.  
"I'm afraid no," Gran said, "She's feeling a little ill after the flight."

I believed that. Cousin Evie was a little . . . off. She was a year older then me and lived down south with my grandma. She'd come up for the visit, as always, but I hadn't even seen her that day. When I got home they'd already arrived and Evie'd been upstairs resting. We weren't quiet sure what her problem was, all I knew was that she should be seeing a therapist.

"Oh okay," my mom said quickly, letting it drop.  
"Yes, well, let's eat," Gran said, as we all put food on our plates. I hoped it wasn't obvious that Ghost and I were putting unusually small amounts on ours.

"Children these days," Gran clucked in disprovable as she put on huge scoops of mashed potatoes on her plate, "Need to be eating more."  
"I haven't been feeling well lately," Ghost lied smoothly.

"Me either," I added.  
"I wonder why," my dad muttered sarcastically.

I shot him a death glare and noticed my mother fidgeting awkwardly. "So, um, Xander . . . Lottie tells me that you're into mixed martial arts stuff."  
He grinned. "That I am."

"Do you get hurt a lot?" she wondered.  
"Not as often as you'd think," he said.

"Strong boy like you?" Gran asked, "I wouldn't imagine often. Although it's a miracle you have any strength at all considering how little you eat. You haven't touched your food."  
Slowly and deliberately, Ghost cut a piece of pot roast and put it in his mouth. He didn't make a face or anything.

"Neither have you Lottie," she pointed out. I placed a spoonful of mashed potatoes into my mouth and was surprised. It didn't taste nasty. It tasted great. Like it always had.  
"Good mashed potatoes," I said, sounding surprised.

"You doubtin' my cooking girl?" my grandma asked.  
"Me? Never," I said, taking another spoonful.

"So . . . Xander," my dad said, "Where do you live?"  
Great . . . He was picking up the interrogation again.

"Rochester," he said.  
"What do your parents do for a living?"

Clearly mom hadn't told him as much of the story as I'd hoped. I took a spoonful of stew and braced myself.  
"I think my dad's an accountant," Ghost said, gripping his fork a little too tightly as he ate some mashed potatoes.

"You think?"  
"I haven't heard from my parents in years" he said. I took notice of how he avoided the word 'seen.'

My dad looked surprised. "Oh. And why is that?" he asked.  
"I was taken away from them by the state when I was a kid," he said, seeming stressed. His hand was clenching the edge of the tablecloth.

"Oh. Why?" my dad continued. Well that was just my dad. Ignoring people's feelings and asking personal questions when he should shut up.  
Ghost opened his mouth slightly and then closed it. He seemed distressed and struggling to think of something to say. I was about to snap at my dad to leave him alone when I was interrupted.

"May I have something to eat?" came Evie's voice. I looked up to see my cousin standing in the doorway. I'd been so wrapped up in the conversation that I hadn't heard her coming. She was very pretty with long dark curly hair. She had dark brown eyes and had a nice tan. She had two clips pulling her hair away from her eyes. She was dressed in an old fashioned black coat with big buttons and plain blue jeans. Despite being very pretty, there was something . . . off about her. Something strange about her eyes.

"Oh, of course dear," same my mother, "Come. Sit down."  
Evie didn't answer. Her eyes were suddenly on Ghost. She stared at him for a brief moment with deep intensity before her eyes flickered to me. Her eyes darted back and forth between the two of us. And then she screamed.

Nobody moved, not even Ghost, who wasn't even aware of our silent rule. Whenever cousin Evie acted out we were supposed to ignore it. Gran said. Even Paula and Dylan understood that rule. Whenever Evie did something erratic we weren't supposed to do anything unless she was endangering herself or somebody else. Gran said we shouldn't reward her behavior with more attention.

She continued to scream for nearly minute. My eardrums ached from the high frequency. I had a feeling it was bugging Ghost too, he was wincing slightly. When she finally stopped I breathed a sigh of relief. Without speaking, Evie came and sat down across from me, next to Gran. She continued to stare at us while Gran piled food on her plate.

"What are they?" she asked in that scarily hollow voice.  
"They're mashed potatoes, deary," Gran said soothingly.

"Who is he?" she asked, looking at Ghost.  
"That's cousin Lottie's boyfriend, sweetie," she told her.

"He's not like us," she said in her dead voice, "Neither is she."  
"Evie dear, would you like something to drink?" Gran asked as if she hadn't spoken.

"I want to know what they are," she said.  
"You should eat," Gran said, "It would do you some good."

"Tell me what they are!" she screamed suddenly, "Tell me!"  
Ghost and I exchanged worried glances. Looking down, I put a piece of pot roast in my mouth.

"Maybe you should just take another nap," Gran suggested, switching her focus off of eating.  
"I'm afraid I can't. I have to go water my garden," she said, her voice switching rapidly to happy and relaxed.

She got up then, pushing her chair in and heading for the door. "Have a wonderful Easter everyone," she said before leaving.  
It was completely silent as I listened to Evie's footsteps going up the stairs.

"It's not Easter," Ghost said simply, "It's August."  
"We know," Gran said, seeming distressed.

"And there's no garden upstairs," he added.  
"We know," I sighed.

"And this doesn't concern you?" he asked.  
"Evie is horribly confused," Gran told him.

"She needs to see a psychiatrist," my mother insisted.  
"She does not," my grandmother snapped, "She is perfectly fine."

"You said it yourself. She's horribly confused. She needs help," my mother argued.  
"I'll decide when and if she needs help, Karen," Gran said in her final tone.

Another awkward silence overtook our table.  
"Excuse me," Ghost said suddenly, getting up. He walked out, looking like he was about to vomit. He probably was. I didn't get it . . . I felt fine and I was eating nearly as much as I would if I were still human.

"He seems nice," mom said.  
"I think I'd like him more if he wasn't planning on stealing my daughter's virginity . . ." my dad muttered.

"Dad!" I protested. God my father was so obnoxious!  
"Mommy? What's a virginity?" Dylan asked.

Gran burst out laughing and I had to work not to laugh. It didn't really work well though.  
"You're too young to know," my mom told him, blushing slightly. I was sure I was too.

"Why is everyone always saying that," Dylan grumbled.  
I just smiled and thanked God that Ghost wasn't here right now.

"I like him," Gran said, changing the subject back to my boyfriend, "He reminds me of you Lottie."  
"That's not always a good thing . . ." my dad muttered.

"Oh shut up," I said. Me and my dad had the sort of relationship that I could say that without him getting pissed. As long as I said it in a joking tone that is.  
"You gotta admit, having two Lottie's wouldn't be very fun," he reasoned.

"Having two of _you _wouldn't be much fun," Gran muttered, "One of you's not so great either."  
I laughed and smiled. Gran was always on my side.

Ghost walked in then, looking kind of sick. He came and sat down next to me, shuddering when he looked at his food. Yep . . . He defiantly just threw up. Again, I didn't get why.  
"Mr. Helling," he said, "I'd just like to say that I'm not _planning _on stealing your daughters virginity. But keep in mind, sometimes things just happen."

"Ghost!" I hissed repremendingly, so quietly that nobody else would hear. I swatted his shoulder. God I was going to die of an embarrassment overdose any minute.  
My parents were staring at us in mortification while Gran laughed hysterically.

"Can somebody _pwease _tell me what a virginity is?" Dylan asked again, his voice sounding whiny.  
"If I tell you your daddy will only have more reason to kill me so . . . sorry kid," Ghost said.

Dylan pouted as I suddenly felt sick. I could feel my stomach churning and vile climbing up my throat. I was going to be sick . . .  
"I'll be right back," I said, jumping to my feet and covering my mouth as I ran from the room at human speeds. I reached the bathroom and then vomited up my dinner in the toilet. I knelt there for a moment, breathing heavily. I was about to get up when I felt another round of sickness, and threw up again. After that I felt marginally better, so I stood up and washed my mouth out with water from the sink.

Feeling kind of shaky, like the way I always felt after vomiting, I returned back to the living room to find that the horrible conversation I'd ran out during was over. I was suddenly glad I'd picked then to vomit. It meant that I didn't have to hear what my dad would say to Ghost in return to that snarky comment. My mom was speaking to him actually, which probably wasn't much better. I sat down next to Ghost and refused to look at my food.

"Lottie tells me you had an operation on yours eyes a few months ago," my mom finished. Oh God . . .  
Ghost bit his lip like this was somehow funny. "If vampirzation counts as surgery . . . " he mumbled very quietly under his breath. So that only that I, due to my enhanced hearing, could tell what'd he said. Actually, I was probably the only one who even saw the fast movement of his lips.

"Why'd y'all need an operation?" Gran asked.  
"I used to be blind," Ghost said simply, as if he was just talking about the weather.

"Blind?" Gran mused, "Well 'aint that something."  
"Mommy?" Dylan asked, "What's blind mean?"

"It means you can't see," she said lightly, adverting her eyes from looking at Ghost.  
"At all?" he asked.

"Um-uh yes," she said, seeming uncomfortable.  
"That sounds scary," he said simply.

"It really isn't," Ghost chimed in, "Not when it's what you're used to."  
"Well I'd imagine," Gran agreed, "A good friend of mine was born blind. Lovely girl . . . She moved up north a while back. Passed away about ten years ago . . . Her daughter went missing about six months ago . . ."

Ghost went rigid in his seat suddenly. He didn't move at all, just stood there frozen. I didn't understand why.  
"Oh . . . You mean Annette?" my mom asked thoughtfully.

Ghost flinched slightly. I didn't have a clue what was wrong.  
"Yes her. Her daughter and her foster child went missing about six months ago," Gran continued.

"Oh yes . . . Wasn't he blind too?" my mom asked.  
Oh God no. It couldn't be . . . Could it?

"Yes. I think that's one of the reason's she took him in. Because she had experience dealing with a blind person since she always took care of her mother," she went on.  
"What was her name again? Julie Marie?"

This was some kind of sick joke. There was no way in hell that my grandmother's friend was Julie Marie's mother. Not _Ghost's _Julie Marie. But it all just fell together too perfectly. A woman named Julie Marie with a blind foster child who both went missing six months ago? That was no coincidence. It just couldn't be . . . But still, what were the chances?

"Yes. You remember her don't you Karen? The two of you used to play together before the family moved. Impulsive girl that Julie Marie was. So reckless and unpredictable. Expected so much of people . . . No wonder she never got married. That's why she became a foster parent I believe. I heard she was quite a good caregiver though . . . Until she took the child and fled the state for some reason. No one's seen her or her son since. Not surprising . . . She never was responsible."

"Don't talk about her like that!" Ghost shouted heatidly, standing up so fast he knocked his chair over.  
"Scuse me?" Gran asked, seeming confused.

"That's my mother you're talking about!" he growled.  
"Julie Marie was your foster mother?" Gran asked, seeming confused, "Well isn't that something . . . What a coincidence. What's that sneaky girl up to now?"

"She's dead," he snarled, whirling around and slamming his fist into the mirror behind us before I could stop him. It burst into a million pieces. Most of them rained on us but luckily we wouldn't bleed. Paula and Dylan screamed and covered their faces, along with my mother.  
"Jesus Christ!" my dad shouted while Gran yelled, "Good Lord!"

I stood up automatically and grabbed Ghost's fist before he could slam it into the wall.  
"Ghost," I hissed, "Ghost, stop it."

I grabbed both of his wrists as he struggled against me. He was defiantly stronger then me, I could tell. But it wasn't like he was going to drop kick me in front of my family. Still, I was having a hard time keeping a hold on to him. He looked horribly upset and like he wanted to punch something. He seemed kind of crazed as he tried to pull his wrists out of my grasp. I started backing him up as he struggled and made frustrated angry growl-like noises. It took all my strength to wrestle him out the door. Once we were outside I heard Gran's voice.

"I like him," she said, "He's passionate. A definite keeper."  
I ignored it and focused on trying to calm Ghost. He looked like he wanted to lunge back in there and kill Gran. But I wasn't the only one he was fighting with, he also seemed to be battling with himself. It was like part of him wanted to and part of him didn't.

"Ghost," I hissed, pushing him up against the wall, "Ghost stop it."  
"I'm gonna kill her," he growled, pulling his wrists out of my grasp.

"Stop," I commanded, putting a hand on his chest to emphasise.  
"Don't tell me what to do," he snapped, pushing my hand away.

"You need to calm down," I hissed quietly, "My family are all human . . . You could really hurt them . . . You could kill them."  
"I believe that was the plan," he snapped but seeing as he was being witty again, I could tell that he'd cooled off enough.

I sighed. "I hope you're happy with yourself," I said, "This night is a complete disaster."  
"It's not my fault," he muttered, "That's my mother she was talking about . . . My _dead _mother."

"I know, I know," I soothed, smoothing out his collar, "And I'm sorry. She didn't know though . . . It's not her fault. I mean, really it's just one horrible coincidence."  
"Horrible is right," he agreed darkly, "Awfully horrible . . . Unimaginably horrible . . . I mean, what are the chances? That's just freaking creepy."

"I know . . . But we're vampires," I reasoned, soothingly stroking his neck, "Are lives are bond to be creepy."  
"True . . ." he mumbled, "And you know what else is creepy? Your cousin Evie . . . That chick is just a little off her rocker."

"Agreed," I said, running my hand down his chest before leaning closer to him.  
"Ready to go back in there?" he asked.

"Hell no," I said, looking up at him, "But um . . . I kinda want to kiss you now but I'm a little too short so . . ."  
He smiled and leaned down a bit so I could kiss him. I went on my tippy-toes so he wouldn't have to tilt his neck so much. His lips tasted good, as always, but the movement of them seemed tense to me. After a few minutes though, he relaxed a bit, running his fingers through my hair.

"It's not appropriate to kiss on Labor Day," came a voice suddenly, "It's a day to celebrate the coming of Christ."  
Ghost and I pulled apart to see Evie standing at the base of the staircase.

"I thought you were watering your garden," Ghost quipped.  
"Why would I be watering my garden in January?" she asked.

Ghost and I exchanged raised eyebrow looks before turning to look at Evie.  
"Oh . . . Silly me," he said sarcastically, "I meant to say that I thought you had to go have tea with the Queen of England."

"Oh! I almost forgot!" she exclaimed, "Elizabeth will be so upset if I'm late!"  
With that, she rushed off into the kitchen.

Ghost gave me a disbelieving look. "The sad part is that I was kidding," he said.  
"_No_. The sad part is that _she _wasn't."


	23. Louder Louder

**Louder Louder; The Voices In My Head**

I watched Evie enviously as she sat on my back deck, talking to herself. It wasn't that I was jealous of her having voices in her head . . . I was jealous because she was sitting out in the sunshine. And I was trapped inside, my eyes stinging even though I was standing several feet away from the screen door; out of the way of the rays of light. I longed to step into the sunshine but I was afraid of what it would feel like.

So I sat down on the floor, just on the edge of the light that came in through the door. It looked beautiful outside. Sun was shining down, lighting the leaves up a beautiful emerald color. The sky was a beautiful blue with the perfect amount of fluffy clouds. Even through the closed door I could hear birds chirping. It was probably very warm out, but I knew there was a slight breeze by the rustling of the trees.

I couldn't believe that I hadn't been out in the sun in nearly three weeks. I felt like one of those reclusive Goth's who avoided sunlight. Sure, I was kinda dark and I was a vampire, but I wasn't sun-phobic. I longed to be out on the sun . . .To feel it warming up my stone cold skin. I wanted to . . . But I was afraid. I wasn't afraid of a lot of things, especially after becoming a vampire. My parents remained the only thing I truly feared other then unknown possible pain.

Dinner with my parents last night had been horrific. Nobody had really freaked too much about the mirror thing. Gran had apologized repeatedly about what she'd said about Julie Marie. I wasn't sure which she was more upset about . . .Hurting Ghost or finding out Julie Marie was dead. Either way, she was full of remorse. We'd all cleaned up the glass and then had a very awkward desert. Ghost and I both vomited again before he exited hastily. I hadn't bothered going back to HQ with him that night.

But I couldn't sleep either. I had to much blood induced energy. So I lay in my bed, reading and listening to the sounds of Evie singing to herself across the hall. The next morning my parents hadn't come to wake me up even though I was wide awake already. Gran and Evie were staying for a few days so I was temporarily relieved of my babysitting duties.

Figures, the one time that whole summer where I could go out during a weekday and I was stuck inside. The cruel irony was almost painful. I felt like a true horror movie vampire, hiding in the shadows. Longing to reach out and feel the sunshine. But I couldn't . . . None of the vampires I knew went out in the sunlight - they even lived underground. So I could only assume that it hurt _a lot_.

"You want to come outside," came Evie's voice, "Why don't you?"

I'd been so wrapped up in my thoughts I hadn't noticed Evie go over to the glass door and open it. She was standing in the doorway, in direct sunlight, with her head tilted to the side. I felt a stab of jealousy. Why should she be able to be in the sun and not me?

_Because you're undead_, I thought bitterly. Okay, sure I had amazing vampire powers and unnatural beauty and a hot vampire boyfriend . . . Okay, maybe I didn't really have a right to complain - considering. But it wasn't all sunshine rainbows. Actually there were no rainbows . . . No sunshine. Not when you were a creature of darkness. Cliche, but true.

"I can't," I mumbled, not meeting Evie's eyes. She was dressed in summer clothes, long jean shorts and a green t-shirt. Her big brown eyes were locked on me.  
"Is it because you're dead?" she asked.

I felt a shiver go up my spine. "I'm not dead, Evie," I told her.  
"Undead then," she corrected.

I stared at her. She knew . . . She knew I was a vampire. Evie of all people! Crazy, deluded, confused Evie realized I was a vampire when my own family and friends didn't.  
I glanced around the upstairs lounge, which was just a fancy living room with a large balcony. Nobody else was around.

"How'd you know?" I asked.  
"They told me," she said.

I felt another shudder pass through me. "Whose they?" I asked cautiously.  
"They," she said, pointing at her head, "In here."

"You mean . . . voices?" I asked. She had voices in her head? Like legit? I mean I always knew she was crazy but . . .Really? Voices?  
"Yeah . . . They tell me things . . . Like what's going to happen," she told me, not seeming bothered, "They told me you weren't human."

"They told you that?" I asked, getting creeped out.  
She nodded vigiorously. "They want me to warn you," she said.

"Warn me?"  
"Yeah . . . They want you to know that something's coming," she told me, perfectly at ease.

I felt sick. "What's coming?"  
She just shrugged. "I don't know. It's a secret," she said.

"Is there anything else?" I asked.  
She paused for a moment, cocking her head to the side like she was listening intently. "Yeah. They said you can see more with your eyes closed," she said, smiling at me.

I stood there frozen as she smiled at me, seeming pleased. I couldn't believe I was actually taking her seriously. This was Evie for Christ's sake. Poor, confused cousin Evie. The night before she'd thought our kitchen was Buckingham palace. That morning she'd danced around the kitchen, talking about what a lovely Cinco de Mayo festival it was. Clearly, she was freaking crazy. I had no reason to believe her. I shouldn't of been afraid. I shouldn't of believed her.

But I was, and I did.


	24. Tell Me I'm A Wreck

**Tell Me I'm A Wreck; Say That I'm A Mess**

My fantastically creepy day continued with a visit to the underground vampire haven. When I got to HQ, I headed straight for the gym, hoping Hattie would be there. I needed to tell her about my freaky Evie experience. I had a feeling there was something paranormal going on with my crazy cousin, and who better to ask about paranormal stuff then a vampire?

While speed-walking down the hallway Angel side-stepped out of a room and was suddenly in front of me. I stopped dead in my tracks.  
"Angel, please don't kill me," I said, putting up my hands in surrender and backing up. I didn't want to back down to her but I _really _didn't have time for a fight at the time.

She sighed. "I'm not going to kill you," she said, seemingly honest. I eyed her warily. Her red irises stared directly at me and her arms were motionless at her side, not fidgeting nervously or anything. There no was absolutely no indication that she was lieing.

"Then what do you want?" I asked cautiously, lowering my hands.  
"I just want to apologize," she said, her eyes full of seemingly genuine remorse. But I couldn't be sure.

"About what?" I asked. I knew what . . . I just wanted to hear her say it.  
She sighed again. She did that a lot, I noticed. "About the whole Ghost thing. I overreacted . . . And hear I am, always telling Ghost that he overreacts. Some hypocrite I am. Anyway, my point is that I shouldn't of yelled at you or pushed you . . . I shouldn't have started that fight. It's not your fault that Ghost likes you more then me. And I . . . I just need to accept that."

"Really?" I asked, not sure whether or not I should buy it. She seemed sincere but I still just wasn't sure. She'd really pissed me off the other day.  
"Yes really," she said with yet another sigh, "I lost it and I'm sorry. You can have Ghost. He's all your's."

"Thanks Angel . . . But mind if I say something?" I continued without giving her a chance to answer. "I think I know why you and Ghost had such a messed up relationship. It's because you act like you own him . . . Now, I know I'm not exactly a dating guru, but you can't do that. No guy wants to feel like your lapdog."

"I guess you're right," she said, "Well I gotta go . . . My new partner's going to be looking for me. See you later."  
With that, she dashed off. Shaking my head, I continued on my way to find Hattie. When I opened the door to the arena the two of us always used, I found her. Fighting with Ghost.

I decided not to say anything, and just watch. They probably both knew I was there, but if they were really wrapped up in this fight they wouldn't take the chance to acknowledge me. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. This was bound to be an interesting show.

Hattie was perched in the rafters, reminding me of a bird or a bat as she stared down at Ghost. He stood there for a moment, looking up at her and smirking. Then he just faded into nothing.

"Hey!" Hattie protested, dropping to the ground, "That's cheating!"  
"Use fire then," came Ghost's voice from seemingly nowhere, "See if I care."

She snarled in frustration and flung fire at nothing.  
"Real good strategy," Ghost said as he suddenly materialized behind her.

She growled again and whirled around, shooting fire at where Ghost _had _been standing. He'd disappeared again, of course. It went on like that for a while. Hattie standing in the center of the room while Ghost circled her, fading in and out of existence. She kept trying to nail him with the fire but he was never in one place for more then a few seconds. Plus, he had invisibility on his side.

"Well that's hardly fair," I said and Hattie turned to look at me. Ghost materialized a few feet from her and to the left. He was also looking at me, seeming amused.  
"What is?" he asked, seeming amused.

"Being invisible . . . She can't fight you if she can't see you," I told him.  
He rolled his eyes. "Duh," he said.  
"That's kind of the point," Hattie added.

"Well . . . Even if it was fair to her . . . It still wouldn't be fair to you. Because now you never have to actually fight . . . What if somebody - somehow - was able to I don't know see you even when you were invisible. You wouldn't know how to fight very well - since you're always relieing on your gift," I explained.

He laughed. "That, my friend, is why _everyone _is forced to learn how to fight without using their powers," he said, "I just rarely use those skills."  
"Well why don't you use them now?" I suggested.

"Is that a challenge?" he asked, smirking.  
"Yes," I said.

"So, let me get this straight? You doubt my fighting abilities?" he asked.  
I crossed my arms over my chest. "Yes," I said haughtily, "I think you rely to much on your gift."

"Oh oh oh," he said, "Now I feel the need to prove myself. Hattie? Mind if Lottie and I spar for a bit?"  
She shrugged. "Sure, it'd be good practice for the both of you," she agreed easily, walking over to where I was standing by the door.

"I'll be upstairs watching," she told us as I moved to let her pass. She left and it was just Ghost and I.  
"Well won't this be fun," he said, smiling as I approached the center of the arena.

Ghost smiled and slowly, but confidently, took three steps away. He seemed highly amused, which wasn't a good sign. He was dressed in his usual grey skinny jeans with chains and a black message tee with the words _See You All At My Intervention _on it. That was frighteningly accurate, I thought. I also noted how this wasn't a very normal outfit for working out . . . But that was the beauty of being a vampire. You could work out in skinny jeans and never be uncomfortable.

"You think you're going to win, don't you?" I guessed.  
"No . . .I _know _I'm going to win," he corrected.

"Oh shut up . . ." I said, "No talking . . . Just fighting."  
"You make the first move. I _dare _you," he taunted, standing a few feet from me, perfectly relaxed

"So confident . . . " I noted, slowly striding towards him.  
"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked, but took a step back.

"Because there's a possibility I might win," I said, taking another step towards him.  
"A minuscule possibility," he corrected, taking another step back.

"Maybe," I said silkily as I took another step, "But I've always been a very good gambler."  
"Everybody loses sometimes," he said, taking another step.

"Exactly," I purred, taking another step.  
He took another step and backed into the wall. He seemed surprised by that.

I smiled slowly, taking another step, trapping him against the wall.  
"Looks like I'm winning," I said, running a hand down his chest, "And we haven't even started fighting."

"Hell, if you keep celebrating by touching me you can _win _every time," he said.  
"Then I'm going to continue celebrating," I cooed, moving my hand up and down his chest.

"And somehow . . .Even though you say I lost . . . I still get a prize," he said with a smirk.  
"So do I," I agreed.

"Hey!" came Hattie's voice through the voice-over, "What the hell? You're not even fighting . . . If Lottie had a whip this would be like the beginning of every porno I've ever seen!"  
Ghost and I spontaneously looked up at the observation booth.

"And how many pornos _have _you seen?" Ghost asked cautiously.  
"Oh screw you guys," she said, "I'll just leave you two to your love fest. I'd go somewhere else though if I were you . . . You know, observation deck and everything. Unless of course you plan on putting on a show."

"Shut up Hattie," we both said at the time.  
Hattie laughed and I disappeared from the observation deck window.

"So . . . " I said, my hand resting on his stomach, "Where were we?"  
"Well . . . If my memory serves me . . . I was just about to do this," he said and then suddenly he was no longer in front of me. He wasn't invisible though, he had just slipped under my arms.

I spun around to see him standing behind me, smirking.  
"You didn't really think I'd let you win that easily, did you?" he asked.

"Oh fine then . . . I was just hoping to go make out but if you wanna fight," I said with a shrug.  
"I do," he said, "Don't think that's gonna work."

I shrugged again, and then ran towards him without any pause. When I slammed into him he simply grabbed me around the waist and threw me behind him. I hit the ground hard and tumbled but it didn't hurt. I slid into a crouched position as he turned around to face me with a smirk on his face.

"Whose the inexperienced fighter now Char?" he taunted.  
I growled and flung myself at him again, this time he just nonchalantly kicked me in the stomach, sending me flying back against the wall.

"I don't enjoy hurting you," he said, "But . . . Proving that I'm stronger then you _is _enjoyable."  
Snarling at the challenge in his voice, I jumped out of the 'me' shaped dent in the wall. I ran at him again and this time he grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back in one quick movement. He took his other arm and wrapped it around my waist, pinning my other arm against my stomach.

I could feel his breath against my neck as I tried to break free of his grasp.  
"If this was a real fight," he said, "You'd be dead right now."

I continued to struggle furiously, but it was no use. He _was _stronger then me, and that pissed me off marginally.  
"Struggling will get you nowhere," he advised, "Strategy is what will keep you alive. Strategy is what you have none of."

"Oh shut up," I spat, still thrashing. I just wanted to prove him wrong even though I knew he was right.  
"Running at me directly will get you nowhere. That's not a strategy. Struggling blindly will get you nowhere. That's not a strategy," he said.

"You're not my partner," I said. "Hattie is. I don't have to listen to you."  
"It's just advice Char," he said. "It's no secret that you need a strategy."

"How's this for strategy?" I snapped, elbowing him in the stomach as hard as I could. He loosened his grip slightly and I pulled my arms free. I spun around and kicked him in the stomach as hard as I could. He skidded back from the blow, slamming into the wall. I smiled victoriously. But my smile faded when I heard him hiss out a breath and bite his lip.

I ran over to him as he detached himself from the new dent in the wall, shaking concrete flecks out of his hair and brushing it off his shoulders.  
"You okay?" I asked worriedly.

"Yeah, yeah, fine," he muttered, but I noticed how tightly he was holding his arm against his side.  
"You sure?" I asked.

"Yeah . . . Completely fine," he said, "I don't know what you're stressing about."  
I eyed him warily, looking for some indication that he was faking being okay. Besides holding his arm to his side, I also noticed his tight expression. He was defiantly hurt . . . But there was no way I was strong enough to really hurt him. He'd have to have already been hurt. He'd probably gotten hurt during practice, I told myself. But I didn't believe it. If he was using his gift like he usually did it was impossible for someone to touch him. He'd have to have been hurt another way . . . I wanted to ask but I knew he wouldn't answer.

"It's just . . . It's just my cousin Evie," I half lied.  
"What about her?" he asked.

"She know's that I'm a vampire," I told him.  
He looked surprised but his expression quickly smoothed out. "I wouldn't worry," he assured me, "Nobody would believe her if she told them."

"Yeah but that's not all. She's really creeping me out," I said, "She told me today that she hears voices. And that they told her to warn me."  
"Warn you about what?"

"She said that something was coming," I continued, "And then some weird stuff about seeing with your eyes closed that I didn't really get."  
"Don't worry," he said, "She's clearly crazy."

"I don't know . . ." I said worriedly, "I'm getting a really creepy vibe about all this."  
"All of what?" he asked.

"I don't know . . . Just everything. Evie, Jessamine, Angel . . . " _You.  
_"You're being paranoid," he said.

"I guess . . . But I'm really starting to worry."  
"Don't," he said in an oddly angry voice.

"Maybe you're right," I said, pretending to believe it. To make it more convincing, I reached up to fix his hair. He flinched, which surprised me. I'd touched his hair before and it never seemed to bother him. But me fixing his hair bugged him? I thought I'd figured Ghost out, but I was wrong.

He was still hiding something.


	25. Refusing To Back Down

**You're Not The Only One Refusing To Back Down**

I'd been told that crazy people rarely think they're crazy. I was starting to doubt that. I felt like I was ever so slowly losing my mind. I was suspicious of everyone and couldn't walk more then six feet without looking over my shoulder. I felt like I couldn't trust anyone, and it didn't help that cousin Evie was still staying with us.

Gran was off in Egypt. Yes, _Egypt. _She said now that she was in her 'golden years' she wanted to visit exotic places and meet new people. And of course, that wouldn't be easy with a crazy teenager to deal with. She hadn't exactly pawned her off on us; she'd brought up her plans and my mother just _had _to volunteer to let Evie stay with us. It wasn't that I had a problem with her . . . But she just freaked me out. Always talking to herself, wandering aimlessly around the house, throwing random fits. It was disturbing the way she'd change from being amusingly crazy to seeming like she belonged in an exorcist movie.

Which was why I was worried as I drove Evie and I to school in Evie's car. Her parents (who couldn't be bothered with her anymore) had gotten it for her, back when she could pass for sane. Gran had driven it up and taken a plane back. It was a pretty nice car, nothing too flashy though. A silver Chevy Equinox. But that didn't make me any less nervous. It was the first day of school, and I had to bring my crazy cousin with me. Lovely.

Evie was sitting in the passenger seat, looking totally normal. She was dressed in plain skinny jeans and a cream colored suede jacket with big buttons. Her long, curly brown hair was pulled away from her face with clips but fell freely for the most part. She had headphones in her ears and had her boot wearing feet up on the dashboard. She was mouthing the words to whatever song she was listening to. It all seemed very normal, unless you knew what to look for. Like the way she ran her hand up and down the window, tapping on it with her fingers as she went in a way that reminded me of spiders.

So if creepy Evie wasn't enough to worry about, the possibility of bursting into flames was. It was a cloudy day, so I didn't really have to worry about the sun yet. Although the faint light was a bit uncomfortable. But tomorrow was supposed to be sunny, and I was worried about that. Everyone had told me that it really wasn't that bad; vamps just don't go out in it unless they had to. Still, I was wary.

I tried to calm myself as I pulled into the parking lot. I searched around for a spot for a bit before finding one. I turned off the car but didn't get out immediately.  
"Evie," I said, shaking her shoulder.

"What?" she asked, taking her headphones out of her ears.  
"Just . . . Try not to embarrass me, please," I begged, "And try not to cause too much trouble."

She stared at me for a brief moment. "You worry too much," she said, grabbing her navy tote bag off the floor and slinging it over her shoulder before plugging herself back in and climbing out of the car. I sighed and slammed my head against the steering wheel. _Evie _told me I worried too much. She might as well have told me I was crazy. I groaned before reaching into the backseat for my black and red checkered backpack. I grabbed it with one hand before hopping out of the car. I slung it over my shoulder before slamming the car door. I felt especially tiny next to the big car but I ignored the feeling.

Despite being a junior, I constantly felt like I did my first day of freshman year. Small. It seemed like everyone was taller then me around here. As I walked into the building, looking for my locker, I felt so tiny. I was surrounded by humans who I could easily kill, yet I felt like a child next to them. I was a predator and could kill any human with ease; but I was going to be five one for the rest of eternity.

I saw a few freshman girls who were probably an inch or so shorter then me, but that didn't make me feel much better. They would all get at least a little taller in their lives, but I would always be this height. Well, at least I was prettier.

I mentally slapped myself. _Don't think like that! _I screamed at myself. I had to stop thinking I was better then everyone else. Before I knew it I would be just like the cheerleaders and bitchy scene kids. It was hard though. I was a vampire for Christ's sake! I was much prettier then any cheerleader, much smarter then any teacher, and much stronger then any football player. It was hard not to feel superior but I pushed down those feelings. I wouldn't be one of those people. I refused to.

I found my locker, and began to do my combination. I felt proud that I didn't have to carry around my schedule like everyone else on the first day. It was simple for me to memorize. I put my bag on the floor in front of my locker, and knelt down to pull out a photograph and a plain magnet. I placed the photo against the inside door of my locker and held it in place with the magnet. It was a picture of Ghost and I that Hattie had taken. It was of the two of us sitting on a bench at the movies. We were both smiling, although Ghost's smile was more of a smirk, and he has his arm around me. We'd gone to the movies with Hattie, Joseph, and Benjamin last week. Ghost hadn't wanted to go, but he had fun. It felt good to take a break sometimes, even though I was constantly feeling paranoid.

It'd been about two weeks since Ghost and I had sparred, and things hadn't gotten too weird. He was still acting a tad suspicious but I'd learned to just write it off as him having his space. I didn't want to be one of those girls who had to know where their boyfriends were all hours of the day. Ghost had his own life and I needed to stop stressing.

I closed my locker and picked up my bag, slinging it over one shoulder. I started heading to my first period class, chemistry. While on my way, Gwen bounced over to me.  
"Lottie!" she squealed and the two of us hugged.

"I haven't seen you in forever!" she gushed.  
"I slept over your house like two weeks ago," I told her.

"Yeah, I know, but you're like gone all the time now," she continued, "I mean, like where are you all the time?"  
"Hanging out with Ghost," I said with a shrug.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Lottie's _in love_," she teased.  
I pushed her shoulder. "Am not."

"Whatever. All I know is that you spend all your time with Ghost," she said.  
"Yeah I know. Sorry. But I really like him," I tried to explain.

"Yeah, yeah okay," she said, "But as punishment for ditching us all the time you have to invite him to come hang out with us sometime."  
I shrugged. "It couldn't be worse then having him over for dinner with my parents," I said.

"True . . . You made that sound truly awful," she agreed.  
"It was," I said when I faintly heard a too familiar voice in the buzz of all the noise I tried to block out.

"I don't know why you're so mad at me. It wasn't my fault."

"Oh crap," I muttered as my eyes honed in on Evie, where she standing off to the side up ahead with cheerleaders. _Cheerleaders. _Laura Smith, Abigael Thomson, and their bitchy leader, Candy Sunter. God I hated them. They thought prancing around a field in slutty clothes made them better then everyone else. I didn't even consider cheerleading a sport. Anyone could dance like a whore with pompoms.

Candy had a water stain on her tiny sky blue _Hollister _t-shirt that was way too small on her. She also had a water bottle in hand and was glaring daggers at my poor cousin. Without a second thought, I bolted over at speeds pretty achievable by a human.

"Look what you did!" Candy screeched at my cousin, "Can't you watch where you're going, freak!"  
"You're the one who bumped into me," Evie said in an oddly non-confrontational voice. She just sounded like she was stating a fact. She also seemed confused, like she didn't know what she did wrong. Which made sense, because she hadn't done anything wrong.

"I did not! Stupid little dyke, who do you think you are to tell me what I did!" she hissed at Evie, who was backed up against the lockers, trembling.  
"Hey!" I shouted furiously, shoving Candy's shoulder.

She looked down at me, sneering. "What the fuck do you want emo?" she snapped at me.  
"I want you to leave my cousin the hell alone," I growled furiously, working hard not to bare my fangs at her.

She seemed ever so slightly amused, but I had a feeling she was using it to cover up how freaked out she was that someone was actually standing up to her.  
"Oh, how perfect," she sneered, "This dumbfuck is your cousin. What a surprise."

"Don't talk about her like that," I hissed, shoving her shoulder again. Harder this time. She looked surprised, but it worked. She turned her full attention on me, turning around to face me. Her gang followed her lead and turned to glare at me, leaving Evie alone. She didn't move though, she stayed up by the lockers, watching silently.

"What are you gonna do about bitch?" Candy taunted.  
"Fuck off whore," I snapped, pushing her again. She stumbled back and I grinned. I wasn't even using a fraction of my true strength. This was child's play for me.

"You can't talk to me like that!" she exclaimed, steadying herself before taking a step forward and shoving me. I didn't even move. A fly could've done more damage, it seemed.  
"That's all you got?" I asked.

She snorted a laugh, like somehow she hadn't just failed in trying to push me. "Like I'm going to waste my time on you or your mental cousin."  
That pissed me off. How dare she talk about Evie like that! I didn't care if she really was crazy, I was still pissed that Candy would dare say that.

"Yeah, when you could be blowing a nerd to do your homework for you instead," I hissed.  
"Stupid bitch!" she said, trying to push me again. This time I had a sense that she was trying her hardest. Which was pretty pathetic, considering I didn't feel a thing.

"I can tell that cheerleading has really improved your strength," I said sarcastically, "I mean, those pompoms are just _so _heavy I bet."  
"At least I'm not a pathetic loser who sits around cutting themselves," she taunted.

I felt more anger rising inside me. I _hated _when people judged me by what I wore. So what if I wore a lot of black? So what if I liked wearing skulls? So what if I had my lip pierced? So what? It was my life and I would dress however I wanted. What she thought shouldn't matter . . . And it didn't, until she voiced those thoughts. Nobody talked to me like that and got away with it.

"You're going to regret that," I growled. I clenched my fists, my talon like nails digging into my palm.  
"Whatever, dyke," she said flippantly, tossing her dark hair over her shoulder before her and her filthy pack of bitches strutted off. I stood there in the middle of the hall, seething with rage. I was grinding my teeth and clenching my fists to keep from chasing after her and literally ripping her head off.

It was so hard though. I could easily end her if I wanted. I could easily make her scream for forgiveness. I could easily make her feel pain like she'd never felt before. But I couldn't . . . I knew I couldn't. Being a vampire meant I had to have super self control, but it didn't mean I couldn't get revenge. I couldn't allow myself to hurt or kill Candy, but I could do other things. And I sure as hell would.

She was going to regret messing with me; I would make sure of it.


	26. You Walk All Over Me

**You Walk All Over Me**

It took a while for me to completely cool down from the Candy episode. Bur that didn't mean I wasn't still super pissed. I was just resigned to waiting for the right moment to put my plan into action. By the time gym rolled around, just before lunch, I was pretty calm. But participating in human work outs was pretty enjoyable. It felt good to be able to run without exerting any effort. Although it did require a tiny amount of effort to not lap all the guys . . . Again. I was pretty much running all by myself, seeing that nobody could keep up with me and all the jockish guys seemed totally baffled that I'd lapped them.

While on my fifth lap, going at a horribly boring pace, a girl started running up beside me. She was panting like crazy as she tried to keep up with me. I slowed down just a tad so she didn't kill herself. She looked a little younger then me, a sophomore I guessed. She was taller then me by a few inches but still seemed younger. She had a pretty face that still had a tad of childish roundness. Her big eyes were a blueish green color and darkly lashed. Her long blonde hair had the front pulled back in a mini pony tail to keep it out of her face. She was dressed in pink shorts, a black tank top, and long knee-high striped black and white socks. She looked _so _familiar. I was sure I knew her from somewhere. I told myself that we went to the same school and were bound to see each other, but I didn't believe it. I felt like I knew her from somewhere else.

"Hey," she gasped, "Damn you're fast."  
"Well apparently so are you if you can keep up with me," I said, my breathing abnormally even.

"No way," she panted, "I'm like about to drop dead from running this fast. And you . . . You're not even breaking a sweat. That's freaking amazing."  
I just shrugged. "I . . . Work out a lot," I fibbed.

"Yeah, no kidding," she managed, "You just lapped football players . . . Do you like live on a treadmill?"  
I shrugged again. "No . . . Just a lot of jogging and stuff."

"Well damn that must've payed off," she said, "Can we . . . Can we slow down though? I'd like to keep talking to you but I feel like I'm about to die so . . ."  
"Yeah sure," I mumbled, slowing to what felt like a walk to me.

"Thanks," she sighed, breathing heavily.  
"So . . . You're a sophomore?" I guessed.

"No . . . Freshman. But people say I look older," she told me. Which eliminated me knowing her from school, but I'd probably seen her in town or at the mall or something.  
"Oh . . . Do I like know you from somewhere?" I asked, "You seem familiar."

"I doubt it," she said, "I just moved here from Vermont."  
"Oh . . . " was all I said. How the hell did I know this chick?

"I'm Bambi," she said.  
"Bambi?" I repeated as the coach blew the whistle, instructing us to slow down to a walk before stopping fully.

"Yeah. . .It's a nickname," she explained.  
"Oh . . .Well I'm Lottie," I said.

"Oh cool . . . You know, you'd be great for the volleyball team," she suggested.  
"Oh no . . . " I declined, "Besides, it's too late to try out anyway. Didn't the season start like weeks ago?"

"But dude, seriously," she insisted, "If we showed Coach how fast you are, she'd put you on the team in a heartbeat."  
"I don't know . . . " I said, "I'm not a volleyball player."

"You could learn. Plus I'm guessing you're super athletic," she guessed.  
"Well . . . " I trailed off.

"Just please oh please, try out!" she begged, "We would have so much fun together! Plus we'd be unstoppable with you! I mean, look how fast you can move."  
I tried to say no, but looking into those freakishly familiar green eyes, I felt like I couldn't help but grant her every wish. It was so weird. I just felt like I had this odd connection to her. "Oh . . . Fine," I sighed.

"Yes!" she cheered, jumping up and down, causing several people to give her weird looks.  
I just laughed and rolled my eyes, which made me get a quick glance of the old clock on the wall. It was time for my plan to begin.

"I gotta go," I said.  
"Where?" Bambi asked.

"Uh . . . Locker room, I'm expecting a message from my boyfriend," I lied.  
"Ohhh . . . Boyfriend?" she asked, interested, "Who is he?"

"He doesn't go to school here," I said, stealing glances at the clock.  
"Oh . . . Well okay. But when you get back I want deets," she commanded.

"Uh sure," I mumbled, jogging off the court and into the locker room. I stopped at my new gym locker and pulled out my bag. Then I went swiftly through to the other end of the room and left through the other door. I stepped into the empty hallway and jogged down the hallways, searching for Candy's locker. She always requested the same one every year , and seeing that she always got what she wanted, she got it. So I located her locker and smiled slowly.

I placed my bag on the floor and straightened back up. My smile grew as I began to wail on her locker. I punched it repeatedly, creating dents all over it and unhinging it so that it fell to the floor. I grinned and reached into my bag and pulled out the bottle of silly string I'd stolen out of the principles drawer of confiscated items. I sprayed the silly string all over the inside of her locker, coating her books and other items in it. I put the empty can back in my bag and pulled out a pad of sticky notes and a pen. I ripped one off and wrote; _I'm just getting warmed up. _I took it and stuck it to the dented locker door on the ground.

I grinned and skipped off.

When gym was over I power walked down to her locker and leaned on the wall across from us, practically invisible due to the people passing by, all of which were staring at the destroyed locker as they went. When Candy and her pack reached her locker she looked completly baffled and outraged. I smirked and crossed my arms in satisfaction. Her and her friends looked around in confusion after reading my little note. Candy's eyes landed on me and her glare just made me feel even more pleased with myself. She made an angry, disbelieving sound in the back of her throat as her and her friends began trying to salvage her stuff. I had to work to keep from laughing.

Bambi walked over to me then, wearing skinny jeans and a black hoodie. She grinned and raised her hand for a high-five.  
"Bad_ass," _she congratulated as I slapped her hand.

"Why . . . I don't know what you mean," I said in a mock southern drawl.  
"Oh I know you're responsible for that magnificent monstrosity over there missy," she accused.

"Well . . . " I said with a smirk and a shrug.  
"What'd she do to you?" Bambi wondered.

"That's not important. . . What's important is what I'm going to do to her."  
"You look so devious right now," she said, "Which intrigues me. You have to let me help," she pleaded.

"Oh all right. I could use the help."  
"Marvelous! Extraordinary! _Spectacular! _This is going to be bitchin!"


	27. Whispers In The Dark

**Hear The Whispers In The Dark**

"Public school got you down yet?" came Ghost's voice. I turned around to see him standing in the doorway of the arena. Of course, turning my back on Hattie meant that I got a foot against my back and landed on the floor. I turned around to glare at Hattie. That was a cheap shot.

"Or maybe it's Hattie who has you down," he edited.  
"Shut up smartass," I said. I'd had a long day. Dealing with Candy, keeping any eye on Evie, adjusting to my new classes. I just wasn't in the mood.

"Oh oh oh, you are angry," he teased.  
"Our little Lottie here is in the middle of a war with the cheerleaders," Hattie told him, giggling.

"And thus the constant struggle between the outcasts and the popular continues," he said.  
"Both of you need to shut up,"I snarled.

"Testy, testy," Ghost said disapprovingly.  
"Well if you don't mind," I snapped, "I'm trying to spar here."

"Well don't mind me," he said, closing the metal door behind him, "I'm just here to observe."  
"Uck!" I exclaimed in exasperation, feeling frustrated. It'd had such a stressful day.

He just laughed to himself and leaned against the wall. I ignored him and spun around to lunge at Hattie. She sidestepped out of the way though and tripped me. I tumbled to the ground and quickly rolled to my feet. I pounced back at her, this time knocking her to the ground. But she immediately kicked me in the stomach, sending me flying forward over her head. I landed upside down into the wall and slumped to the floor. Ghost laughed. Growling, I made it to my feet and lunged back at her furiously. I grabbed her forearms and tried to flip her but it wasn't working. The two of us struggled for a minute before she kicked me in the stomach, sending me flying into the metal door. My head slammed back.

And everything went black

* * *

When I woke up, I felt horrible. My head was pounding and I felt like I was going to throw up. I blinked through the fuzziness in my vision to see Ghost leaning over me.  
"Ugh . . . What happened?" I moaned.

"You hit your head on the door," he said, "Hattie went for help."  
"Why . . . I mean why did I black out?" I asked. I'd hit my head a million times since becoming a vampire and I'd never passed out.

"That door is made of silver," he elaborated.  
"So?" I asked.

"Silver can hurt vampires," he explained.  
"And why didn't anybody ever tell me this?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Ask Hattie."  
"Am I going to be okay?" I asked worriedly. I really did feel awful.

"Yeah . . . Of course. We just need Joseph to see if you have a concussion . . . And then Angel can heal you," he said.  
"Okay . . ." I mumbled, feeling fuzzy.

"You sure you're all right?" he asked, placing a cool hand on my forehead. I screamed as everything suddenly went black again.

* * *

_It was dark, but I didn't think I'd simply passed out. This was a different kind of darkness, an alien darkness. I couldn't even imagine what anything looked like . . . I couldn't even imagine colors or images of any kind. But there were noises all around me, noises I didn't expect. Voices I didn't recognize. _

_"Mommy . . . Mommy where are you?" came a little boy's voice through my lips as they moved without my consent. I was walking, running my hands over familiar objects as I went to guide myself. It was very quiet, and I didn't like it. It made me feel alone, unlike the fammilar darkness. I listened hard for the distant sound of crickets and the gentle hum of the refrigerator._

_"Mommy," I called again, "Where'd you go? Mommy?"  
There was a faint rustling sound and a light groggy moan. "Honey?" came a woman's voice._

_"Mommy?" I called back as I heard footsteps approach.  
"What're you doing up baby?" asked the woman as I was suddenly lifted off the ground. _

_"I couldn't sleep," I said as the woman held me tightly against her side, "I went in your room but you weren't there."  
"Oh honey, I feel asleep on the couch," she said. _

_"Where's Daddy?" I asked.  
"He had to work late sweetie," she said._

_"I got scared when I couldn't find you," I sniffed, snuggling up against her side.  
"Oh honey, you don't have to be scared," she soothed and I could feel her walking, "I would never leave you."_

_"Really?" I asked in a small voice.  
"Really . . . I promise. I would never leave you baby," she promised._

_"Okay Mommy," I said as I could tell she was going up a few stairs.  
"Now," she said as I heard a door open, "Why don't you go back to bed." _

_"Okay," I said as I felt myself being placed in a bed.  
"Good night baby," she said as I felt covers being pulled up around me. _

_"Good night Mommy," I said as I heard her footsteps walking away, "I love you."  
"I love you too Xander," _


	28. I Tried So Hard

**I Tried So Hard But You're Running Away**

_The sounds of that scene faded away into another one. A completely different one where I had sight. It was dark out and I was running, running through the streets of a small village. It was cold out, cold like I wasn't used to. My legs and lungs were burning from the strain of running, something a vampire wouldn't experience. _

_The ache in my lungs was becoming too painful so I slowed down to a walk. Panting, I looked around to see that I was walking down an empty strip of sidewalk. All the stores were closed for the night and the only lights were from the apartments above. To catch my breath, I came to a stop and put a hand on my chest. I could feel my heart slamming away inside. I felt like I could taste coppery blood in the back of my throat. I put my hands on my knees and stared down at my sneakers as ringlets of curly gold hair hung by the side of my face. _

_Through the sound of blood whooshing through my ears, I could hear faint laughter. I looked up to see a group of guys hanging out in the alley between two stores. It was a large alley and somehow I knew that that was the alley where the "cool" kids always hung out in and smoked. The guys there now seemed like they were apart of the usual crowd, but I recognized them from somewhere else. My mind flashed back to an event earlier that week; when two older guys had lifted up my skirt at school. Anger sizzled through me. It was them. Only now there were more of them. And they seemed just a tad drunk. _

_"Oh if it isn't our favorite little freshie," said the blonde one that had lifted up my skirt. He had the black eye to prove it.  
"Go away Brett," came a harsher version of Hattie's voice through my moving lips. _

_"After what you're little boyfriend did to my eye?" he asked as his buddies started coming over. "I don't think so."  
"He's not my boyfriend," I growled, "And that wasn't my fault."_

_"That's not what I hear," he said, reaching out and grabbing my wrist roughly. I yelped slightly as he pulled me into the alley forcefully, causing me to stumble into him. I looked up at him. He was a senior; four years older than me and nearly a foot taller. _

_"Let go of me," I protested, trying to break free.  
"What's this?" asked one of them, grabbing the drawstring bag that hung from my shoulder. _

_"Hey!" I exclaimed as he spilled my belongs onto the wet ground.  
"Nobody asked you," Brett snarled at me, flinging me onto the ground. I landed on my hands and knees on the wet, filthy, concrete. I huffed out a haggard breath. I didn't understand why they always had to target me. They harassed me at school every chance they got, but that was at school, where there were other people around. Like my friend KJ, who'd punched Brett earlier that week. Only now there was nobody around to save me. _

_I pushed myself up onto my knees and then to my feet before I was kicked in the back, hard. Sending me back to my knees.  
"No, no . . . Stay on your knees Hattie," came Brett's voice as he prowled around so that he was in front of me, "You're more useful to me this way."_

_"Fuck you," I hissed, punching him in the nuts and scrambling to my feet as he howled. I ran for the exit of the alley but was stopped by some of his goons.  
"Let me go!" I screeched as the two of them grabbed my arms, hauling me back. I struggled against them but it was useless._

_They held me in place as Brett got back to his feet. He was visibly fuming as he lumbered over to me.  
"That wasn't a good idea," he told me, grabbing my face. _

_"Fuck off," I snarled at him, pulling my face free.  
"You're going to have to pay for that," he told me. _

_"No. You are," I said, kicking him in the crotch again. It was always a safe root as far as escape plans went.  
The guy curled in on himself, groaning. The only problem was that the two other guys still had me. _

_"Let me go!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, thrashing, "Get away from me!"  
"Somebody please shut her up," mumbled a guy who was sitting on a dumpster, texting and seeming completely unconcerned. _

_"Why don't you Cam?" demanded one of the one's holding my arms as I thrashed and screamed.  
"Yeah, we're kinda busy here," added his friend. _

_"Oh fine," Cam muttered, "I guess it's true. If I want something done right . . . I have to show everybody else how to do it."  
I watched, still thrashing and screaming, as the guy hopped off the dumpster and grabbed a role of duct tape out of a bag on the floor. He stalked over so that he was standing in front of me, blocking my view of Brett. The guy looked a little younger then the others, maybe fifteen or so. He had shaggy dark brown hair, a light tan, an attractive face, and ragged clothes. _

_He tore off a piece of duct tape off with his teeth before placing the strip on my mouth.  
"Don't even bother," he said to me quietly while I continued to try and scream despite the tape. But it just came out as uninteliagable mumbling noises._

_"There you go," Cam said as he went back to his dumpster, "Do your buisness and be done with her."  
"Brett?" asked one of the guys holding me, "You want some of this or what?"_

_"Oh hell yes," he snarled darkly, smiling cruelly as he approached me. He pushed me by my shoulders, hard. So hard that the other guys were forced to release me. I flew backwards and landed on the ground, hard. Pain laced through my back but I ignored it as I reached up to rip the tape off my mouth. But Brett reached me before I could. _

_He grabbed my ankles and pulled me deeper into the alley, away from the entrance. I screamed against the tape, but I doubted it would do much good. Nobody had come running at the sounds of my earlier screams, and they wouldn't come now. _

_"Shut up dumb bitch," he snarled at me as he climbed on top of me. I continued to try and scream despite the fact that I knew it wouldn't do any good.  
He slapped me across the face, hard. I yelped in pain against the tape._

_"If you weren't so fucking stupid I could've been done with you by now," he told me as he unzipped my black hoodie and ripped it from my shoulders. It was easy for him, despite my struggles. I wasn't going anywhere. He was sitting on me and probably weighed like a hundred pounds more. I was completely trapped. _

_In desperation, I punched him as hard as I could in the face. He cried out in pain as blood dripped from his nose.  
"Hattie, Hattie, Hattie . . . That was a very stupid idea," he said disaporvingly, punching me in the stomach. Air whooshed out of my lungs and I gasped against the tape. I tried to calm myself so I could breath through my nose but the pain was intense. I panted and gasped for breath and he grinned at me in satisfaction. _

_He pushed up my grey tanktop and slipped his hands under my bra, rubbing them over my breasts. My smothered screams grew more frantic, but the ache in my throat was making screaming less appealing. But my fear was fueling the adrenaline to keep futiling screeching and thrashing._

_"This won't take long," he said, his hands sliding down my stomach to my hips. He unbuttoned them and then unzipped them. When he began to slide them down I panicked, more so then already. I would do anything to get away as he pushed my pants down around my ankles, but there was nothing I could do. I couldn't fight them. Brett alone was too strong for me, and there were at least six of them . . . Watching me with interest, except for Cam who didn't seem to care at all. Not an ounce of compassion was on any face; they weren't going to help me. _

_My will to fight was slowly dwindling as he ran his hands up and down my legs. I was tired . . . So very tired. But I wanted to get away. I didn't want to let him get away with what he was about to do. But I didn't have a choice. I wasn't strong enough to bodily force him, and I wasn't in a position for any kind of fighting. _

_When he slipped his hands in my panties and began fingering me, I knew he was taunting me. I tried to ignore the pleasure it brought me, which wasn't too hard. Considering I was being molested. Still, it was hard to keep from moaning. Not like anyone would really hear it due to the tape though. _

_"Enjoying yourself?" he mocked, "Well that's about to change."  
He slid my panties down to my knees and grinned. Suddenly though, he was knocked off of me. _

_"Cam, what the fuck?" Brett demanded as he rolled to his feet. "I would've let you have a turn."  
I looked up to see Cam standing to the side, looking coldly angry. I would've taken advantage of that opportunity to run, but I was too tired and weak. Besides, I knew they'd be able to stop me. _

_"Just stop it Brett," he said.  
"Why? What the fuck's your problem man?" Brett demanded. "Out of weed or something?"_

_"No," he snarled, "I'm just not in the mood for this."  
"Well I'm sorry _Cameron_, but what you think doesn't really matter," Brett hissed._

_"Just stop, okay Brett? Find a new hobby," Cam snarled moodily, stalking back over to his dumpster.  
"Like I give a fuck," he muttered._

_"You should. Maybe I'll get so sick of this that I'll tell the cops whose responsible for all the rapes that've been going on recently . . . " he threatened.  
"Do that kid and I'll just bust you for possesion," he shot back. _

_"And I'll be sure to tell them who gave it to me," Cam said, "And seeing as I'm a minor . . . And you just turned eighteen . . ."  
"Whatever. Drake, Will . . . Shut him up please," Brett said, "I'll deal with his attitude problem later." _

_I watched as two guys grabbed Cam and hauled him deeper into the alley. I could hear them fighting distantly as Brett's voice snapped me into my current situation.  
"Now . . . Where we're we?" he asked, sitting back on top of my bare legs. _

_"Oh right," he said, undoing his pants and freeing himself. I closed my eyes, trying to pretend I was somewhere else, anywhere else. Somewhere cheery like a turkish prison. But it didn't work as I could feel him inside me. I screamed in pain against the tape. I suddenly gained the incentive to claw at the tape on my mouth. But he grabbed my wrists and slammed them forcefully against the concrete. I whimpered as the pain slowly faded to a pleasant feeling. Although, it was hard to really enjoy my first time considering it was actually rape. _

_My screams faded from fatigue as he continued to thrust into me. It seemed to go on forever. And it didn't feel as amazing as I'd always imagined. Mostly because it was rape, I imagined. When he was finally done, I felt horrible. Filthy, dirty, violated . . . _

_I just lay there, not moving as he got up.  
"Whose next?" I heard him ask distantly. _

_Two more of them took turns molesting and raping me, while the other two were busy dealing with Cam. When they were all done, I felt half dead. I had no energy to move at all. I just lay there on the wet ground, freezing as they all hovered above me, laughing at something. Possibly me._

_Through my haze, I felt someone kick my side. It barely seemed to hurt. Considering all the pain I'd already experienced that night. Raping me wasn't enough for them, they had to hurt me too. Constantly, and with no apparent reason besides that it seemed to bring them some kind of sick pleasure. _

_"Get up," Brett snarled.  
"She's not dead, is she?" one of them wondered, seeming curious._

_"Nah. She's breathing," another said.  
"Get up," Brett said again, kicking me harder, "Go. We're done with you. Unless you don't want us to be."_

_Slowly, I opened my eyes. Brett was standing above me and the other two stood off to the side.  
"Go," he snarled again, kicking me one last time before walking deeper into the alley. The other two watched him but didn't follow._

_Painfully slow, I propped myself up on my elbows. I pulled my underwear on and my jeans. I pushed my bra and my shirt down before scrambling to my knees. In horrible pain, I got to my feet woozily, feeling like I was going to pass out. I braced myself against the wall, looking at the two guys warily. They weren't looking at me though, they were looking at something deeper in the alley. I followed there gaze to see Brett, Drake, Will, and Cam. Drake and Will were holding Cam in place while Brett seemed to be yelling at him. I winced when Brett punched him and he stumbled into the wall and slid to the ground._

_"That'll teach him," I heard Brett muttered. I winced as I thought of Cam getting hurt trying to protect me. I pushed the thoughts out of my head. It didn't matter. He'd tried to protect me, but hadn't been able to. No one had._

_I slowly backed out of the alley, not caring about my bag or my stuff or my jacket, and took off running. I wasn't running very fast, but I was still running. I stopped when I felt the world spin around me. I panted and looked at the dark store window next to me. The faint light of the street lamp reflected my image against it. I looked like hell. Blood was smeared on my cheeks and dripping from my split lip. The beginning of bruises were apparent on my arms and the visible part of my chest. My tank top had blood stains on it and was ripped in several places. My curly hair was wet and dirty. My brown eyes were wide and glassy. I looked traumatized. I looked like hell. I looked like death._

_I looked like Hattie.  
_


	29. My Scars Won't Ever Heal

**My Scars Won't Ever Heal When I'm Lying In This Metal Tomb**

_The vision melted away, like thick tar burning away the terrifying scene. It all just faded into nothing but pure blackness. A darkness so surreal I couldn't even imagine a thing such as sight. There was only this overwhelming darkness and a voice. A sweet female voice. Sweet and motherly. _

_"You'll see . . . Things are going to get better," she said. "They're not going to find us."  
"I'm not saying that. All I'm saying is that I think we should pull over," came Ghost's voice out of my mouth. His voice sounded different though; less smooth then I remembered. _

_"You worry too much," she insisted.  
"I'm serious JM," I said, "I have a really bad feeling about all this."_

_"Just go to sleep," she suggested, "When you wake up we'll be in New York and everything will be fine."  
"I don't want to go to sleep," I argued, "And I don't want to leave Vermont."_

_"Well, I'm sorry Xander, but I don't really have a choice," she said, "You don't want to go back to living with your parents and Connie, do you?"  
"No," I said automatically._

_"Then this is our only option," she said, "I'm sorry honey, but that's that."  
I huffed unhappily and crossed my arms, pretending to be surly when I was really just panicking. I had a bad feeling . . . Like someone was watching me. Like someone was planning something. I tried to shake it but I couldn't. _

_I tried to fall asleep, but found that I couldn't do that either. There was nothing to do but stare forward into the complete darkness and chew on my lip anxiously. An eternity seemed to pass, sitting there in the darkness and quiet of the car. _

_"Look," the woman said after an endless silence, "We're already in New York."  
I just huffed another displeased sigh and turned away from the voice. _

_"Oh, now don't be like that Xander," she said, "I'm just doing what's best for you."  
"Did it ever occure to you that I had a life in Vermont?" I hissed._

_"Yes, it did occur to me," she said tightly, "It also occurred to me that what I'm doing is against the law and I could easily go to jail if I got caught. If we get caught, you will not be penalized at all, you're aware. Because, and you know I hate to say it, but you are blind Xander. Nobody would blame you for this - It's not like you have a choice. You couldn't just choose not to come and go off on you're own."_

_"Wow, _thanks _JM," I muttered, "It's nice to hear _once again_ how useless I am."  
"I didn't say you were useless," she sighed. _

_"Useless. Powerless. Helpless. They're all the same," I ranted heatedly, "_Everyone _is the same. You pretend that you believe I can take care of myself. But you're just like everyone else."  
"Xander. That's not true," she insisted._

_"You just don't get it. Nobody does. You don't know what it's like to be entirely dependent on other people," I snapped, "It sucks."  
"You know that's not true. I know you can take care of yourself."_

_"But you don't really believe that," I said.  
"Don't assume you know what I'm thinking," she said sternly. _

_"I already know what you're thinking. It's the same thing everyone's thinking. Oh poor Xander, all blind and defenseless, let's go take care of him and treat him like a child!"  
"Xander, for all intents and purposes, you're my son. It's my job to look after you. Why does that bother you so much?" she asked._

_"Because everyone I've ever met thinks it's their job to look after me! I don't need people watching out for me. I'm highly capable of taking care of myself."  
She sighed. "I know you hate to be patronized, so I'm going to tell you how it is. Now Xander, no matter how unfair it is, you can't deny the fact that you are blind. Now I hate having this conversation with you, but it can't be helped. We don't talk about this nearly enough. You're blind, and that doesn't mean that you're helpless. And it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you."_

_"But there is something wrong with me!" I protested, "I'm blind! Hello? Remember? The whole reason for this conversation!"  
"Let me finish," she said, "Now, like I was saying. It does, however, mean that sometimes you'll need help. But you are just incapable of accepting it. And one day you're going to get hurt because of it."_

_"Don't act like you know everything Julie Marie."  
"Oh don't you _Julie Marie _me," she said._

_"Then stop lecturing me," I snapped back, "Just let me wallow in self pity in peace."  
"You know I can't do that," she said sadly._

_"Yeah but I hoped," I grumbled.  
She sighed and I could feel the car come to a stop, probably a red light or something._

_"You know I love you right?" she asked.  
"Yeah, yeah, I know," I mumbled._

_"Good. That's all that matters honey," she said and I felt lips faintly touch my cheek in a sweet fluttery butterfly kiss.  
I just snorted in distaste and heard her chuckle lowly as the car started moving again._

_"You can be so - Wait what is that? Oh my God is that-" she was cut off as the car suddenly collided with something hard. __I was slammed forcefully into my seat belt and heard Julie Marie scream. Pain laced through my sides as the seat belt dug into my skin. _

_I could feel the car spinning and spinning until it collided with another item that sent it flying. Julie Marie continued to scream but I was too numb too terrified to chorus in. I could feel the car flying in midair until it suddenly landed. There was a huge splashing sound and I knew that we had landed in some body of water. _

_Julie Marie's screams cut off abruptly as the car began to sink.  
"JM? JM?" I called frantically as I could feel the freezing water that was rapidly filling the car as it sunk._

_"Mom? Mom!" I yelled as the water rose. My side and my neck were killing me but I barely noticed. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins as I desperately tried to undo the seat belt I couldn't see. Even before the car was completely full of water, so much that I couldn't breath, I already knew I was going to die. Ice cold water stabbed me all over my body like a thousand needles. The same water that filled my lungs as I drowned. My struggles slowed as the silence surrounded me. _

_I'd already accepted the fact that I was dieing when I heard a sound like ripping metal, only quieter, like I was underwater. Because I was. I felt arms around me and could feel my seat belt snapping. I was barely aware of anything as I seemed to float in the freezing water. It wasn't until I surfaced that I realized I wasn't already dead. I was on dry land . . .Out of the car and out of the water. That was all that I could really register. That, and that I was freezing, in pain, and that my lungs were full of water. _

_I coughed up water as I lay on my back on the dirt. As I felt myself chocking on the water coming out of my lungs I rolled myself over onto my stomach and painfully pushed myself onto my hands and knees. I coughed up even more water, my throat burning. I felt someone patting my back and realized that I wasn't alone. I tried to get past the sound of whooshing water in my ears to hear the voice of this person._

_"It's alright sweetheart," a woman's voice said, "Everything's going to be okay."  
I could tell that the voice was female but that was all I could tell. Was it Julie Marie? I tried to ask but just chocked up more water. _

_"It's okay," she said again, "It's okay."  
"We should take him back to Jessamine," came another female's voice, a younger sounding one. So there was more then one person . . . _

_"Good idea," the other agreed, "But give him a minute."  
"I think he's hurt," the younger girl said._

_"No shit Hattie. He was just in a car accident," the first one said.  
"Sorry. I was just saying," the Hattie girl replied. _

_Once all the water was out of my lungs I tried to speak again. "Mom?" I croaked out. I never called her mom but I beginning to really panic.  
"Don't worry honey," was all she said, "Everything's all right sweetie."_

_I wanted to demand that she answer my question but I couldn't. Now that I wasn't chocking I could concentrate on the pain in my side and the side of my neck. Not to mention how cold I was. Teeth chattering, I lifted my head up to look at more blackness._

_"Oh!" said Hattie, seeming startled, "Angel, I think he's blind. I mean, look at his eyes."  
I wished I could gather the voice to thank her for noticing but I couldn't. _

_"Do you think he was always blind?" the older girl, Angel, asked, "Or do you think that maybe it had something to do with the accident?"  
The me that was Ghost didn't recognize these voices at all. But the me who was me did. Not that me-me had a lot of say in anything. I was just an observer in Ghost's mind. _

_"I don't know . . . We should take him to Jessamine anyway though," said Hattie, "He could have hypothermia."  
"Good idea. Even I can't heal that," Angel agreed. "Okay, honey, we're going to take you somewhere safe, alright?"_

_"Don't-don't touch me," I said through chattering teeth. My throat burned with every word.  
"We just want to help you sweetheart," she soothed, putting her hand on my shoulder._

_"Stay aw-away from me," I said as I felt arms around me loosely.  
"Don't-" was all I could say as I pulled out of the loose grasp and scrambled away. I wasn't sure where I thought I was going but I still tried to get away. I barely got anywhere when I felt strong arms around my waist, dragging me back._

_"Where do you think you're going baby?" asked Angel as I struggled feebly against her surprisingly strong grip.  
"Angel be careful," Hattie cautioned. _

_"Relax, I'm being gentle. Here, warm up my coat," she said as her arms released me. My knees and arms seemed to give out and I just collapsed onto the ground. Still, I tried to get away but then I felt something on my back, keeping me pinned to the ground. A foot I guessed. _

_"Angel!" Hattie reprimanded, "Don't do that! You'll hurt him!"  
"Hattie don't worry. I'm being extraordinarily gentle. I'm just trying to keep him from going anywhere," she assured her. _

_"All right . . ." the other mumbled.  
"C'mon sweetie," Angel said and I felt myself being lifted off the ground like I was four years old again. _

_"Here," Hattie said and I felt something very warm being put over me. Like an electric blanket almost.  
"Come on let's go," she said and suddenly I could feel air whooshing around me. Like I was flying or floating. But I couldn't concentrate long. The pain and the cold were getting to me, clouding my thoughts. I could feel myself drifting, sounds fading into quiet. _

_An unknown amount of time passed as I lay in the nothingness. It could've been hours or days or weeks. I had no idea. I wasn't sure when I exactly woke up. Or if I really ever feel asleep. But suddenly I was aware of voices and chaos all around me. Before pain was suddenly injected into my veins from my neck. I cried out, or at least I thought I did. The sounds around me swirled around in a jumble of ear-splitting noise as pain engulfed my entire body. It lasted for what seemed like forever, but really could only be a few minutes, before all the noise and the pain just disapeared . . . _

_Even before I opened my eyes I knew that something was different. I was no longer in pain, no longer freezing or chocking. But that wasn't the biggest thing. I could . . . Well I was pretty sure I _saw _something. A sort of . . . color I guessed. I had no idea what anything looked like . . . But for the first time in my life I was seeing something. I wasn't sure what anything looked like so I wasn't exactly sure what I was seeing. Was I dead? Was this the white light? I wasn't sure what white looked like so it could've been._

_I opened my eyes and saw . . . Just _saw. _There were things all around me. I wasn't sure how to comprehend what I was seeing . . . _That _I was seeing. I felt like I was on alien planet. The explosion of sight was enough to burn my eyes. But I didn't care. I was seeing. I might of had no idea what I was seeing but I didn't care. I could see! _

_"How do you feel?" asked a voice and my eyes darted towards the source of the sound. There was a . . . Well a person I guess? Was that what people looked like?  
"Are you okay?" she asked and I was sure that the voice was coming from this . . . person. So this was what a girl looked like. She looked beautiful to me . . . Alien and strange . . . But I thought she was as gorgeous as an angel even though I had know idea what 'beautiful' really meant. More proof that I was probably dead though. _

_"I can see," I managed, my voice sounding different, "Am I dead?"  
The girl laughed. A light bubbly sound. "No honey . . . You aren't dead. You're a vampire," she said._

_"A vampire?" I repeated.  
"You know what a vampire is, don't you?"_

_"I'm blind, not stupid," I snapped.  
"You mean you were blind," she corrected, "You're not anymore."_

_"So this is . . . seeing . . . " I mumbled, looking around. I had know idea what anything was. I didn't have a clue what anything looked like. I had no way of figuring out what anything was or describing it to my brain. It was like an alien planet full of light that caused my head to hurt. _

_I was lieing down on . . . something. A bed? No . . . It wasn't comfortable enough for a bed . . . A couch maybe. That made sense. The girl was sitting on . . . a chair maybe, next to me. She was leaning over above me._

_"What's it like? Seeing for the first time," she asked curiously, "Is it strange?"  
I nodded, sitting up. "Very . . . I feel like I'm in another world . . . I-I don't know what anything is . . ."_

_"Let me show you," she said, grabbing my wrist.  
"I'm Angel," she said, lifting my hand to her face. _

_Watching her intently, I gently caressed her face. Connecting what I was seeing to my memories of the way things felt. She smiled and I knew it was a smile because I could feel the muscles in her cheek moving the way they did when a person smiled. _

_"You're very pretty aren't you?" I asked.  
She laughed. "That's a new one," she said._

_"I'm serious," I said.  
"Well . . .What do you think?"_

_"Well I can honestly say you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."  
She laughed. "I feel flattered."_

_I laughed too and suddenly wished that I could see Julie Marie. And that's when it all hit me. I'd been so amazed by seeing that I hadn't thought about anything else. How was I possible seeing? Was I really vampire? _How_ was I vampire? What had happened after the accident? Where was I? Where was Julie Marie? Was she alright?_

_"Julie Marie . . ." I mumbled, "Where is she?"  
"Excuse me?" she asked._

_"The woman who was in the car with me," I elaborated, "What happened to her?  
Her face transformed and I wasn't quite sure what the emotion was. But her smile disappeared so I knew the answer wasn't good._

_"I'm sorry honey but . . . She died. Broke her neck on impact," she said, "I'm so sorry. Was she your mother?"  
I didn't say anything. I just stared at her. Julie Marie was dead. The only person who ever really cared about me was gone. I just couldn't comprehend it. My mind just shut down. I couldn't understand how such a thing was possible. _

_"Honey?" she asked worriedly.  
"You're lieing," I accused, springing the rest of the way up. _

_"I really wish I was," she said.  
"No!" I shouted furiously, jumping to my feet. "You're lieing! I don't believe you . . ."_

_"Sweetheart I'm sorry," she said, getting up as well.  
"Shut up," I growled at her. _

_"I'm so so sorry," she said, full of remorse, "But it's true."  
I felt numb, but not the senseless kind of numb; the good kind. This wasn't the good kind . . . This was the bad kind. This was the kind of numb where I felt all my pain and anguish but had no idea how to process it in my mind or react properly. _

_"It's not fair," I mumbled, staring at her.  
"I know. It's horrible that you lost her," she sympathized. _

_"That's not what I meant," I told her, "It's unfair that she had to suffer and I didn't."  
"What are you getting at?" she asked, seeming concerned. _

_"That I should have to suffer too," I said and without thinking, slashed my wrist with my nails. Somehow I knew my nails were now capable of breaking skin.  
"Oh my God!" the girl exclaimed but I ignored her._

_I automatically knew that the stuff pouring from the slash marks that ran up the inside of my arm was blood. The pain was real . . . But it wasn't quiet enough. Julie Marie had obviously suffered a lot worse. Even I had felt pain worse then this. So I decided to cut my other wrists. I slashed several bloody lines down my other wrist and was satisfied that the pain level was rising. I decided that I liked this . . . Liked the way the pain kept me from dealing. Liked the way the pain gave me something else to focus on. Liked the way the pain eased my guilt._

_Liked the way it made me feel connected to Julie Marie. _


	30. There's A Fine Line

**There's A Fine Line Between Love And Hate**

_The scene vanished abruptly and harshly, suddenly flickering into nothingness. The blackness lasted a brief moment before I was somehow placed inside the mind of another person. I, well whoever it really was, was standing by a large window. I was looking out at a village from high above; a very strange village. It looked like some quaint little British village from centuries ago. The cobblestones and old dress were hint enough. It was dark out but I still had vampire night vision in this body._

_I huffed an impatient sigh and closed the dark green curtains and turned to face the room. It wasn't very large, but it was packed with furnishing. There was a lot of wood furniture covered in dark silk colors. Getting aggravated with the wait, I drifted around the room. The tapping of my heels against the floor added to the soundtrack from the streets below. _

_When I passed a large mirror I paused to fix my hair. I was wearing a long ruby red gown. It had a wide, billowing skirt that reached well past the floor. The sleeves were a light pink color and extremly soft. The front had a corset like look to it with all sorts of complicated strings and such. A large gold pendant with a large red gem in the center glinted around my throat. It matched the red of my eyes. My dark hair was constructed into an elaborate eighteenth century high do. I looked exactly like Jessamine, only in a different era. _

_I gave myself one last once over before taking a mask off the desk next to me. It was a red velvety looking Marti Grass like mask with long black and red feathers come out of the top. I put it on my head and smiled at my reflection. I was so excited for tonight. _

_"Jess?" came a female voice and there was a knock on the door.  
"Come in," I said. _

_Sophia walked in then. Her long fiery red hair was styled in delicate curls. She wore a beautiful emerald green and black gown. She too wore a mask; a black one with elaborate beading around the eyes. Her blood red eyes were still visible despite the mask though. _

_"Ready?" she asked.  
"As ready as I'll ever be," I said, "Is the carriage here?"_

_"Yes," she said, "Cruz is waiting for you downstairs."  
"Well then we musn't keep him waiting," I advised. _

_"I wouldn't even consider," she said with a laugh. The two of us left the room and walked towards a grand staircase. We descended and a doorman opened the door for us at the bottom. We thanked him and proceeded outside. _

_Standing by a horse and carriage outside was a handsome man. He had short, neat black hair and wore a formal and slightly old fashioned looking suit. He also wore a plain black masquerade mask. His red eyes shone out of it. He was checking a gold pocket watch which he swiftly closed when he saw us. He smiled. _

_"Well aren't I the luckiest man in all of Great Britian? Attending such a prestigious event with the two loveliest maidens in all of Europe," he said.  
"Always the charmer Cruz," I said with a smile, approaching him._

_"Always," he agreed, tentatively taking my hand and kissing it. His eyes never left mine and I felt a shiver go up my spine.  
"If you two are quite finished I'd most like to get to the ball before the second coming of Christ, thank you," Sophia quipped. _

_"Sophia," I reprimanded, "Taking the Lord's name in vain? On a Sunday?"  
"Do you really still believe in all that?" she asked._

_"Of course," I said, "Undead or not."  
"We can discuss religion later, ladies," Cruz interrupted, "But now, we have a ball to attend." _

_"Of course," I agreed as he held the door of the carriage open for the two of us to get in. He followed and gestured to the coachmen before closing the door. It took off at a relaxed pace, the horse's hooves and the carriage's wheel's clattering against the cobblestones. _

_"I've been looking forward to tonight for ages," Sophia gushed.  
"As have I," I agreed._

_"I'm sure it will be splendid," Cruz said, "It always is."  
"Vampires from all over Europe and Asia will be there," Sophia added, "I even heard some from America will be attending."_

_"Rogues they all are," said Cruz, "There's absolutely no order over there."  
"The humans seem to be doing quite well there," Sophia disagreed, "That Alexander fellow who invented the telephone lives there."_

_"I was referring to the vampires, actually," he said, "Not that the humans are much better."  
"Surely it's not that bad," she said. _

_"In all of North America there is only approximately a dozen or so vampire organizations," he told us.  
"Well . . . Perhaps that is because many of us are _too _comfortable here," Sophia said._

_"I agree," I chimed in, "Actually, I admire those who have ventured to America. And imagine the opportunity."  
"What are you implying?" Cruz asked. I was doing my best to mask my thoughts from him. _

_"Implying?" I asked innocently, "I'm not implying anything."  
"Don't try to pull a ruse on me," he accused, "I know that voice. You're planning something. I can see it in your mind."_

_"Well . . . Actually I _was _mulling over the idea__ of the three of us starting our own organization in the New World," I suggested.  
"Jessamine!" Sophia exclaimed, "Have you gone mad?"_

_"She is quite right," Cruz agreed, "What you're suggesting is quite preposterous!"  
"Why?" I demanded, "Why is it so outrageous? Aren't you tired of living practically like humans here? We don't fight anymore . . . We don't do anything. We just mingle with other vampires and go to balls and dinners. There's a war going on and all we do is sit around. There's already enough vampires being reqruited here in England. Imagine going to America, a land with hardly any vampires, and investing in a whole new crop of possible troops. Besides, here we have hardly any influence at all. In America, we could start our own organization and be on top of the world."_

_"Women," Cruz scoffed with a shake of his head, "They never think things through."  
"But I have!" I insisted, "I've thought over this countless times. We could easily afford the tickets over and it wouldn't be hard to set up. Most of the organizations are in the west, taking advantage of manifest destiny. There's hardly two on the entire east coast anymore. They all moved west. We could set up one in a cultured area like New York. It would be splendid!"_

_"You haven't thought of the complications Jessamine," he scolded.  
"I've seen it though!" I protested, "It would be just divine! Look in my mind and tell me that the image there isn't marvelous?"_

_A brief look of concentration crossed his features before he sighed. "Well, I must admit, it does seem nice," he said.  
"Nice? It would be wonderful! In a few decades the three of us could be fabulously successful."_

_"I'm not sure about this Jessamine," Sophia said, seeming a bit nervous, "Everyone says that Americans are hotheaded."  
"Well so is Cruz and we've lived with him for centuries," I pointed out._

_"I suppose you're right . . . ," she trailed off, gazing out the window, seeming unsure.  
"What about you Cruz?" I asked, "What do you think?"_

_"I'm not sure Jez," he said honestly, "You do know how I hate dramatic change."  
"But things are always changing!" I insisted, "All around us, all the time. When I was a human living in Rome, people thought if you sailed too fair you'd fall off the edge of the Earth. And now we realized that if you sail far enough you'll find a whole 'nother continent! And now we have telephones and automobiles . . . Don't you see that change is good?"_

_"I'll have to think about Jessamine before I could consider letting you go . . ." he said.  
"Let me go?" I repeated, "What do you mean let me go? You have no authority over me! I'm nearly as old as you! I can decide for myself."_

_"I am your husband and I'll decide whether or not you can be permitted to go," he said sternly.  
"This isn't Athens anymore," I snapped at him, "Men don't own their wives."_

_"I didn't say I own you. All I'm saying is that you should respect me like a wife is required to respect her husband."  
"Respect you?" I demanded, "I'll respect you when you respect me!"_

_"Perhaps you two could save this discussion for another time?" Sophia suggested, seeming uncomfortable.  
"Right." Cruz said, relaxing back into his seat, "My apologies Sophia."_

_I made a distasteful sound in the back of my throat and turned to stare out the window moodily. Cruz sighed and I saw him pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration out of the corner of my eye. I quickly turned away. Thinking he owned me . . . Ridicilous._

_Sometimes I thought that if I didn't love this man so, I would truly hate him._


	31. Please Don't Go

**You've Got Me Begging, Please Don't Go**

When I opened my eyes I was looking up at Ghost. And it was the Ghost I was used to. The dark haired, red-eyed, lip ring wearing Ghost. And I knew that I was back in my body. I didn't feel like a visitor in someone else's mind anymore. I breathed a sigh of relief even though many questions still went unanswered. It just felt good to be back in my body.

"Char?" Ghost asked, his voice the perfect silky tone I'd missed. I sighed again, this time in delight. But this delight faded quickly.  
"What the fuck just happened?" I demanded, sitting up.

I was _still _lieing on the floor of the gym. Even though it seemed like I'd hit my head years ago. Ghost was crouched in front of me and standing behind him was Jessamine, Hattie, and Joseph. Jessamine looked relieved but still a little anxious. Hattie just seemed completely relieved, like she'd be panicking constantly. Joseph looked contemplative, he was staring at me with faint curiosity. I remembered his gift and prayed, for his sake, that he was concentrating on my head and not any other parts of me.

"We were kinda hoping you could answer that," Jessamine said.  
"Yeah. The past hour you've been having like seizures or something," Ghost said, reaching up to pull at his hair with one hand, "Fuck. I can't even explain it. You were like shaking and thrashing and screaming."

The past hour? It had only been an hour? How was that even possible?

"Yeah. Your eyes were seriously creeping me out," Hattie added, "They like changed color, it was freaking creepy. I thought you were possessed by the devil. They were like a greyish blurry green color, then blue, then that murky green color, and then red again. But a darker red. And sometimes they just rolled back into your head. It was fucking scary."

"We think the silver to your head tampered with your power temporarily," Jessamine explained, sensing my worry.  
"What'd you mean?" I asked.

"Silver is very dangerous to vampires. Getting cut with it is like an equivalent of vampire teeth to our skin. Being in close contact doesn't bother us . . . We can even touch it usually. But when you're exposed to it for an extended period of time, or perhaps bash your head against it, it can have side affects. _Hattie _should've warned you," she said pointedly, looking at Hattie accusingly.

"Sorry!" she apologized hastily, "I forgot! I'm just a person you know! Well, an undead person but still."  
Ghost rolled his eyes. "What did you see?" he asked me, staring into my eyes intently. This seemed very important to him for some reason. His worry about me seemed to be calmed and now he could really focus.

"A lot of stuff really. It was like . . . It was like I was in someone else's mind. I can't even explain it. It was like I was me . . . But I was like a spectator in someone else's mind. If that makes sense. It was like I was seeing through their eyes and I knew what they were thinking . . . It was like I had no control of what I was doing though. Like what was going to happen was set in stone," I attempted to explain.

"Whose mind were you present in?" Jessamine wondered.  
I decided to answer semi-honestly. No use lieing. Besides, keeping it to myself would just give me more questions.

"Ghost's. Hattie's. And your's," I said. Jessamine didn't seem that concerned, just surprised. Hattie looked . . . Well kind of violated actually. Like I was somehow invading her privacy by doing this. And Ghost . . . Well Ghost went completely still when I said his name. He didn't seem surprised at all though.

"How interesting," Jessamine said, leaning closer, "What kinds of things did you see?"  
Now here came the real pressing issue. I wasn't sure whether I should tell the truth now or lie. I really wanted to tell the truth for some reason.

"Well . . . When I was in Hattie's mind it was . . . It was when she was a human. When she . . . When she . . ." God I just couldn't say it.  
"When I almost got raped," she supplied bluntly. Her eyes bore into mine. Not pleading, but commanding me not to tell anyone what she knew I now knew.

"Uh yeah. That," I agreed awkwardly.  
"Well what else?" Jessamine wondered.

"I saw you talking to Cruz and Sophia. I think you were going to some kind of masquerade ball. I also think you were in England, sometime in the late eighteen hundreds it seemed. You were trying to convince them to come to America," I told her.

She smiled fondly. "I remember that," she said, "They really didn't want to come here."  
I smiled back at her.

"Well what about Ghost?" Joseph asked. He hadn't seemed particularly interested in this conversation. He'd been staring at my head but must've given up on that. I wondered faintly why I hadn't had a flashback of his. I'd had one of everyone in this room but him. Odd.

Ghost still wasn't speaking but he narrowed his eyes slightly. He didn't seem to have the motive to turn around to glare at Joseph. Although I knew he wanted to. I could see it in his eyes.

"I got two of Ghost," I said slowly, "One of him when he was a kid. And one of when he first became a vampire."  
"Oh," Joseph said, silenced.

"Um . . . So it's only been an hour? Like seriously?" I asked.  
"Yes," Jessamine said when no one else answered.

"Mind blowing isn't it," Hattie asked. She sounded like her normal self, but she still seemed tense. Ghost was completely frozen.  
"Yeah. Um if it's alright I'd just like to go back to my room for a bit," I said, getting to my knees.

"Oh . . . Well I guess that's alright. I really wish Angel was here to heal you . . . " she trailed off.  
"She's okay," Joseph assured her, "I see no real damage."

"Okay. Good," I said, getting up.  
"In a little while I'll need to talk to you," Hattie said, seemingly casual. But her eyes were blazing.

"Okay, cool," I said. "Hey Ghost. You coming?"  
"Why would I?" he retorted, rising to his feet and staring at me solidly.

"Because I need to talk to you," I hinted.  
"What about?" he asked, playing innocent.

"Just come on," I snapped, "I'm not in the mood.  
"Fine fine. Whatever," he said, rolling his eyes and following me out.

"What is it exactly you wish to discuss Charlotte?" he asked breezily as we walked.  
"You, Xander," I snapped, using his full name in retaliation to him using mine.

"Well then . . ." he muttered.  
I didn't respond, but instead continued the walk to my room. There was complete silence between us. When we got there I closed the door behind us. Ghost made himself at home by plopping down in my rolling chair. He spun himself around lazily.

"We need to talk," I said blankly.  
"Yeah," he said, still spinning, "I got that."

"Do you know what I want to talk about?" I demanded.  
"Nope," he said, popping his lips, "And frankly, I don't care."

"Liar," I accused.  
"Prove it," he challenged.

"I don't have to," I said, "You already know it's true."  
"No I don't," he said stubbornly, continuing to spin.

"Can you cut that?" I snapped, referring to his spinning. It was distracting.  
He stopped abrutly, facing me. "Make me," he growled before beginning to spin.

"Why are you acting like such a child?" I exclaimed, getting frustrated.  
"Why are you acting like such an adult all of sudden?" he countered, "You're no fun."

"This is serious," I said, "I'm serious."  
"About what?" he challenged, "Seeing as you never actually got to your point."

"I'm so confused by what I saw," I admitted.  
"And I'm supposed to answer your questions because . . ." he trailed off, raising an eyebrow as he continued to spin.

"Because you always do," I said lamely. The words just kind of slided off my tongue without emotion. I felt oddly drained and old. Too old.  
"Well this isn't an information booth. Come back wearing something see-through and maybe I'll be able to help you," he snapped.

"You're such an ass!" I exclaimed heatedly.  
"Yeah yeah whatever," he muttered.

"Why are you doing this?" I demanded, feeling tears burning behind my eyes.  
I caught a quick glance of something in his eyes while he spun, kind of like remorse. It was hard to tell what with him rotating and all though. His face was hard. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said coldly.

"Stop it. You know exactly what you're doing," I accused, "Why are you pushing me away?"  
"Once again I say, I have no clue what you're talking about," he told me, using the spinning of the chair to keep from meeting my eyes.

"For the love of God can you stop spinning!" I demanded furiously.  
He stopped, digging his sneakers into my floors. He stared at me evenly. His expression was a perfect blank poker face but his eyes told a different story. They were pained and tight- like he was bracing himself.

"I don't think this is working," I said, holding back a sob.  
"What do you mean?" he asked plainly. He didn't seem surprised or even interested. His face was distant but his eyes were hurt.

"This - us," I said lamely, gesturing back and forth between us.  
"What about us?" he asked, rising to his feet. He still seemed like an actor playing a role to me. A role he didn't want to play.

"It's just not working," I said, on the verge of tears, "We just don't . . . I mean, you hardly ever say anything nice to me, you're not romantic ever, and you hardly ever kiss me. I love you and you don't even care about me."

Okay, I honestly hadn't meant to blurt that last part out.

"You love me?" he said, seeming shocked. His mask cracked.  
I nodded slowly. Biting my lip and trying not to cry.

He didn't respond, just stared at me.  
"I want to break up," I said, my voice cracking. "You obviously don't care about me as much as I care about you. I'm done being strung alone."

"Char, Wait - don't," he pleaded, "I didn't mean what I said before . . ."  
"It doesn't change anything ," I said, walking towards the door even though it was my room, "I'm tired of your mood swings and your lies."

"Wait, let me explain," he said, grabbing my sleeve. "I can explain."  
"Save it," I told him, feeling like I was about to cry. My hand went to the doorknob.

"Don't - don't do this. Come on, I'm begging here. Don't go." Ghost had never begged me for anything. As far as I knew, he never begged, never pleaded. Just accepted. This was new.  
"Say you're sorry then," I said roughly.

"What?" he asked, seeming taken back.  
"Say you're sorry," I repeated, "And say please. You don't have to love me . . . I understand if you don't. I hadn't meant to spring that on you. I really didn't. Maybe you just need time, I don't know. But you have to prove that you actually care about this relationship."

He stared at me silently for a moment. When he spoke his voice was rough. "You're just like Angel," he said. "Forcing me to do things I don't want to."  
"Well . . . Sometimes Angel is right," I said, crossing my arms.

"I'm not submitting to you," he told me plainly.  
"Fine. But I can't be with someone who doesn't value the relationship as much as I do," I said. If he wasn't even willing to apologize to win me back then he obviously didn't care about me.

I turned again, grabbing the doorknob. If I was really breaking up with Ghost (which I so didn't want to do) then I needed to be alone before I started bawling.  
"Wait," he said.

I turned around to face him slowly. He was standing across from me, staring at me with sorrowful eyes. His face was desperate. He had one hand wrapped tightly around his wrist in an awkward position. His fingernails dug into his wrist and I knew that if he pressed any harder he would break skin.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I can explain. I will explain. Just . . . puh-Please don't go. Please don't leave me. I love you."


	32. You Ask For The Truth

**You Ask For The Truth But You'll Never Believe It**

"You love me?" I asked, baffled, realising the doorknob. Ghost loved me? As far as I was concerned he'd only ever loved Julie Marie.  
"Yes," he said, taking a step towards me.

"Really?" I checked.  
"Yes. Really," he said, taking another step towards me.

"What do you love about me?" I asked as he backed me up against the door.  
"I love how witty you are," he said, his lips brushing against my forehead, "I love how strong you are. I love how you don't take crap from anybody. I love how you can be sweet one minute and cruel the next."

His lips traveled down the bridge of my nose to my cheeks and then my jaw. "And I love how temperamental you are. I love how whenever you hurt me it only makes me love you more. I love how you're always in everybody's business. I love how controlling you are even if you don't realize it. I love how you obsess over things.

"And I love how you twirl your hair and crack your knuckles," he continued, peppering my neck with kisses, "And I love how you stomp your foot when you get frustrated. And I love the way you sing and dance around for no reason."

"And I hate how your careless lies break my faith. And I hate how you ask for the truth but you don't believe it. And I hate how you're better at dealing then me," he said lovingly, continuing to kiss my neck, "And I hate how you think you need to fix me. And I hate how you're always right when I most wish you were wrong. I hate how you make me love you so much."

So I'd come to the conclusion that he _wasn't _lieing.

"I love you too," was all I managed.  
He straightened up and stared at me. "I just gave this huge speech of why I love you and that's _all _you have to say?" he demanded.

"You're killing the moment," I infored him, wrapping my arms around him and pressing myself close to him.  
"It's what I do best," he said, wrapping his arms around me and stroking my hair.

"I've noticed," I mumbled.  
"Now have you?"

"Yes. And I've also noticed that you are obviously stalling," I informed him.  
"Ah. You caught that didn't you?" he asked.

"Ugh yeah."  
"Fine then," he said, pulling apart, "I'll start explaining . . . But I assure you I'm not happy about."

"I didn't think you would be," I said as he went and sat down on my bed. I followed.  
"So . . . What the fuck was with that little stunt you just pulled?" I asked.

He sighed. "Okay, so that wasn't my best plan ever. I'll admit. But I needed to . . . Okay don't get mad, but I needed to get rid of you."  
"You needed to get rid of me?" I repeated in disbelief.

"I said don't get mad," he reminded me, "Now let me finish. I needed to get rid of you . . . For your own good. Your crazy cousin was right . . . Something's going to happen. Something bad . . . Weird things have been going on lately . . . And since your cousin warned _you, _I knew that whatever's going to happen is going to affect you directly. So . . . I figured that if we broke up maybe you'd be able to focus better if something bad happened."

"That is the most idiotic plan I've ever heard," I stated plainly.  
"I didn't say it was a good plan."

"True but what made you change your mind?" I asked.  
"When you told me that you loved me," he said, "I knew that I loved you but . . . But I didn't think you loved me. So I figured that you wouldn't care if I broke up with you. It would crush me but I thought you would get over it . . . But then when I realized that you wouldn't, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't stand hurting you more then I already have."

"When have you ever hurt me?" I demanded.  
"Look in a mirror sometime Char," he suggested dryly, "Because everytime I look at you I'm reminded of how much I've hurt you."

"What in the name of God are you talking about?"  
"You're undead Charlotte. Because of me," he said.

"Now Ghost, don't act like this is some kind of curse. I love being a vampire. You know that," I insisted.  
"I'm sure you do. That doesn't change the fact that you are going to be stuck fighting a war you didn't start. Just like I will."

"That's not your fault._ I_ signed the contract. Besides, you let me come here of my own free will," I reminded him, "You didn't even have that choice."  
"Well isn't that for damn sure . . ." he mumbled.

"I was in your head . . . during the accident," I mumbled, "I saw - well felt what happened."  
"And?" he asked, not looking at me.

"And I understand why you're so upset by it," I said, "Julie Marie seemed like a great person . . . But that doesn't mean you can hurt yourself."  
"Are we _really _having this conversation again?" he groaned.

"Yes. I get really worried about you . . ." I explained.  
"Well for your information, I haven't cut myself in . . . almost a month," he said, putting his arms out in front of him and flipping them over. The inside of his wrists were unmarred.

"That's good. All I'm saying is that you can't resort to that everytime you're upset. Kay?" I checked, getting up.  
"Okay okay," he said, getting up as well.

"Good. I'd hate to lose you . . . Even if you are incredibly stupid," I teased, playfully elbowing him in the ribs. He winced slightly and I took note of it. I stared at him, crossing my arms and tapping my foot impatiently. I raised an eyebrow at him and waited for a response. He cursed under his breath.

"Anything else you'd like to explain?" I asked.  
"Ugh . . . no?"

"Liar," I accused.  
"You asked if I'd like to explain. Not if I had anything more worth explaining," he informed me.

"Don't try and weasel your way out of explaining," I told him.  
"Explaining? Explaining what? I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about."

"Oh really? So it wouldn't hurt if I did this?" I retorted, lightly mock-punching him in the ribs. He winced again.  
"Nope. Not a thing," he lied through his teeth.

"Uck!" I exclaimed, getting frustrated. Ignoring his protests, I lifted up his shirt to reveal his stomach and some of his chest. It was easy to ignore his delicious six pack due to the ugly purple bruises that covered the side of his ribcage.

"Jesus Christ what the hell happened to you?" I demanded, examining the network of bruises. There were ones that seemed to be fading and then fresher darker ones.

He sighed heavily. "I've ran into some other vampires a few times when I've gone out . . ." he mumbled.  
"Other vampires . . ." I trailed off, "What do you mean other vampires?"

"Alonzo's vampires," he elaborated, "The first time I ran into one, almost a month ago, I thought it was just a rogue. But he was too good to be a simple rogue. About two weeks later I ran into two of them . . . They were just as good as the first one. Because of my gift it was hard for them to really get a good handle on me but they got in a few good shots. After that I told Jessamine and she told Cruz. We agreed that it was weird that there were so many of them in our territory and that it was a reason for concern. But we also agreed not to let the word spread to avoid starting a panic. But they also said I had to terminate my mission and not go off on my own anymore. There weren't anymore attacks that we heard of . . . It was like they were only targetting me, or so it seemed. Until the other night when I went over to your house to drop you off. On my way back I ran into more . . . heading in the direction of your house. I feel like . . . I feel like they're after you . . ."

"Wait - so they know where I live!" I exclaimed. I didn't understand why they'd be after me but I was more concerned about them coming to my house.  
"It seems . . . But, and this might sound weird, but I think something's keeping them out. And I think it has something to do with your cousin . . ." he said.

"Evie?" I asked.  
"Yeah . . . I don't know what though . . . Just be careful alright," he said, "I'm going to get to the bottom of this.

"We are," I corrected.  
"Right," he said, "We are."


	33. Because Of You

**Because Of You I Am Afraid**

Stepping into sunlight for the first time in over a month was a shock to my senses. Like a cold bottle of water over your head during a heatwave. Or the sound of a book hitting the floor in the dead quiet of a classroom. Like the feeling of chill on your skin after stepping out of a steaming shower. Not necessarily pleasant or unpleasant. Just startling.

When I stepped into the sunlight the next day, about to leave for school, the first thing I felt was shock. There was warmth on my cold skin. Real warmth. Not the artificial warmth of a lamp or a heater. But sunlight; pure, direct sunlight. The shock was the first thing. The pain was the second. There was a white hot flash of pain, all through my body, that caused me to go rigid. I could feel a flush going over my skin. Sweat broke out across my forehead and my palms felt clammy. The worst was my eyes though. They stung in the grey filtered light streaming in through the thin clouds that was probably so slight to a human, but blinding to me. I even had to shade my eyes from the intensity.

"You're out in the sunlight. This is new," said Evie, who was standing in front of her car in the driveway. She looked interested but also twitchy. She was fiddling with her hair clips and tapping her foot.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," was all I said as the pain faded. Now it was just uncomfortable. The way I felt feverish and sweaty . . . The feel of sunburn all over my body even though my skin was still white and unmarred.

I walked over to the car and climbed in the drivers side, thankful for the slight shelter. Evie and I didn't talk as we drove to school. She was singing along to the radio, pretty well, and having a perfectly good time. I was half concentrating on the road and half reminiscing over all the strange things that had happened in the last twenty four hours. Luckily, being a vampire I was able to do both with ease.

After Ghost and I had declared our love for each other, I had left. I'd wanted to talk to Hattie but couldn't seem to find her. I'd gone home and tried to sleep but found it nearly impossible. It had seemed almost unnatural to be in my own bedroom in my own body. I had gotten temporarily used to the idea of being in different time periods and different bodies. I'd even gotten used to the hallucinations in between.

When we arrived at school things were also surreally normal. I talked with my friends and laughed at Candy's glares. I'd pretty much forgotten about the war I'd started with her and about Bambi. I was immediately reminded of both though when I retreated to my car during lunch. I was going to get the thermos I had in the backseat with blood in it. I was feeling a little thirsty.

The student parking lot was full of cars but absent of activity. Kids hung out in the courtyard up above but the parking lot was particularly empty at the time. While I was climbing in the back of the Equinox to get the thermos a grating sound reached my ears. It was loud and high pitched. It would probably annoy a human but it was absolutely driving me crazy. The high frequency was like poison to my ears; ripping and tearing at my eardrums. I covered my ears and slithered out of the car. Leaving the thermos on the floor of the car I stood up straight and looked around in search of the noise, my hands still over my ears.

When I located the sound of the noise I sighed heavily. There was Bambi, keying _"Hateful Skank" _into the side of Candy's shiny red convertible. She was dressed in simple skinny jeans and a purple t-shirt with little skulls decorating it.

"Bambi!" I rebuked as I approached her. She'd finished keying the car and was admiring her work, which meant the horrible noise was gone. I was extremely relieved. The sunlight made me uncomfortable enough, the noise just made it five times worse.

"Oh. Hey Lottie," she said, smiling at me. Those aggravatingly familiar green eyes stared at me and I felt like I'd seen them a hundred times. The feeling was stronger then it'd been the day before. Yesterday she had just seemed familiar, but now I felt like I _knew _her. Like me forgetting who she was was blasphemous.

"Bambi," I sighed mournfully, "What are you _doing_?"  
"Keying Candice's car," she said breezily, "Why? What are you doing?"

"Uh, freaking out," I said with a silent 'duh' at the end.  
"Why? Is something wrong?" she asked innocently.

"Because you're keying Candy's car!" I exclaimed.  
"So?" she asked, "I thought you hated her . . ."

"I do . . . But you shouldn't be doing this," I tried to explain.  
"Why not?" she asked, "You messed up her locker."

"I know. I meant _you _shouldn't be doing this," I elaborated, "It doesn't matter if I get in trouble."  
"Why not?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Because you have your whole life ahead of you."  
"So do you."

"Yeah but . . . It doesn't matter with me. I can't explain," I said. It was true. I couldn't explain. It didn't matter because I was a vampire. Once I finished up highschool and maybe college I would only dabble in the human world on occasion. I would work for Cruz . . . I would fight in Alonzo's war. I could do whatever I wanted after that . . . But it would be sixty years from now . . . Where I'd have to pretend to be someone other then Charlotte Lucille Helling.

"Cryptic much?" she asked.  
"Just let it drop Bambi," I told her.

"Okay. Whatever," she said as I suddenly heard a slight noise. Bambi obviously didn't hear it. It was like the prickling of very quite feet on the forest floor. My eyes immediately went to where the end of the parking lot met the beginning of the bordering woods. The line of trees were a mere few feet from Bambi and I, seeing as Candy parked at the very end of the parking lot.

There were two pairs of feet traveling very fast, I could tell. I could hear two hearts beating at a normal pace and even breathing that was getting slightly louder every second. _Vampires. _

I could faintly smell them, but the musk of the woods and the stench of gasoline was heavy in the air, masking their scent. All I knew was that they were vampires. I didn't know if I knew them or not, but assumed the ladder. I tensed, preparing to fight.

One of the footsteps dropped off suddenly, so that only one remained. But it was still going at full speed. I tensed, preparing for a fight. I was just about to push Bambi behind me when the vampire emerged. It was Hattie. She looked just like how I felt. Ravaged by sunlight. Her skin was paler then usual, if that was even possible, but there was an unusual flush to her cheeks. She was squinting as the strong light pierced her purple eyes.

"Hattie?" I asked, straightening out of my half crouch. "What are you doing here?"  
"You need to come with me. Ghost is waiting in the woods. It's an emergency," she told me frantically.

"Why? What's going on?" I demanded.  
Her eyes flickered nervously to Bambi who stood by Candy's car, looking confused.

"Uh Bambi . . . Would you mind giving us some privacy?" I asked, trying not to sound mean.  
"Yeah, yeah, I can tell when something weird is going on," she said with a dismissive, "I'll see you later. Hope you get to see Candy's reaction to the car."

With a creepingly recognizable smirk she skipped off, leaving Hattie and me alone.  
"What's going on?" I demanded again when we were alone in the parking lot.

"Well we're having a bit of problem back at HQ. But first I need to talk to you," she said, "It's why I made Ghost wait in the woods."  
"You want to talk about my vision," I guessed.

"You know, don't you?" she demanded.  
"Yeah I do," I admitted.

"You can't tell anyone," she commanded, "I mean it."  
"I won't . . . If you explain why," I said, crossing my arms.

"Fine oh fine," she huffed, "I don't think it's hard to understand. It's embarrassing."  
"Really? You got abused and raped and that's all you have to say about it?"

"Yes. It is," she said, crossing her arms.  
"You're not even the least bit traumatized," I asked.

"Of course I'm mother fucking traumatized!" she shouted, fuming, "I was humiliated and violated and I think about it every day! And every time it feels like it was yesterday! I can still remember how horrible it felt! I still remember the feel of being dragged by my ankles into the alley. How it felt to feel them inside me. The sting of there hands, beating me. The sound of Cam's skull hitting the wall. How I screamed and screamed _but nobody came to help me!" _

"I'm sorry Hattie," I apologized, "I'm so sorry. I just want to understand."  
"You'll never understand," she snarled.

"Then maybe you could explain something that I could understand. Like why you were out that night in the first place," I challenged, "Because you weren't getting eggs."

She scowled. "It's none of your buisness," she hissed.  
"Were you running away?" I asked.

"I said it was none of your business!" she exclaimed.  
"Fine, fine. What's going on at HQ?" I asked abruptly.

"Vampires are going missing," she said, happily changing subjects, "Several of them."  
"Like who?"

"Selene, Joseph, Diego, and Angel."


	34. Must Have Done Something Wrong

**It's Time To Fight; Must Have Done Something Wrong Tonight**

"Wait - they're missing?" I demanded.  
She nodded grimly. "Diego and Angel never came back from their hunt on Sunday . . . Benjamin lost Joseph when they were out on assignment last night . . . And nobody has seen Selene for days."

"Oh my God . . . What do you think happened?" I asked, worried. I didn't really know Diego or Selene, but they both seemed nice enough. I knew Joseph a little better and I liked him. Me and Angel had a strange kind of _almost_ friendship but I still didn't want anything bad to happen to her.

"I don't know. Cruz wants everybody back at HQ right now," she told me, "We're going to have an emergency meeting."  
"A meeting? You mean like _all _of us?" I repeated.

"Yeah. It's an emergency."  
"How many vampires are even in this organization?" I asked.

"Little over two hundred or so," she said, "But that's irrelevant. Come on. Let's go."  
"Okay," I said, slinking into the woods after her. I felt much better under the shade of the trees. I felt less clammy and claustrophobic. We took off running and were soon joined by Ghost. We were all going at least seventy.

"You don't think that those vampires . . ." I trailed off, directing my question at Ghost He looked worried but pretty okay, wearing his usual black jeans with a dark red t-shirt with the words _"Is it conceded in here, or is just me?" _written across it. I wondered vaguely where the hell be bought these shirts.

"Actually I do," he said.  
"What are you guys talking about?" Hattie asked.

"Oh well the other day Ghost -" I began.  
"Shhhhh," he cut me off, stopping dead in his tracks. A half a second and ten yards later, Hattie and I stopped too. Looking back at him.

"What? Doesn't she have a right to know?" I asked.  
"Shhhhhhhh," he hissed, his face alert.

"What is it?" I whispered, jogging back over to him. Hattie followed.  
"Someone's here . . ." he mumbled, looking around.

"One of Alonzo's?" I asked worriedly.  
"Several of Alonzo's," he corrected, slipping into a crouch.

"Alonzo? What are you guys talking about?" Hattie asked as the sound of the approaching vampires reached me. I could hear their lighter then light footsteps and the even thuds of their hearts. They were running very fast and there were a good amount of them. Four or five I guessed.

"Should we run?" I asked.  
"No, no, they'll just follow us," Ghost said.

"What the fuck's going on?" Hattie demanded.  
"Be quiet," I urged.

"Up," Ghost said simply, looking at me and nodding up. I nodded slightly and jumped into the air, perching myself in a high branch. I watched from above as he put up eight fingers. Hattie nodded to the assumed code as Ghost faded into nothing. Hattie looked up at me and mouthed the words, "Wait for the signal."

I wasn't sure what this signal was, but I figured I'd know it when I saw it. I nodded slightly as she turned her head forward. She clenched her fists and stared straight forward. Waiting.

I could hear them approaching. Their faint footsteps growing louder and louder. Each quiet step sounded like thunder in the almost silent forest. Through the densely packed trees it was hard to see them coming. And when they got there, I knew the thick trees would make fighting hard as well.

When they came into view they seemed so oddly different from us. They were vampires - just like us, but they were so different looking. They had red eyes, pale skin, and were beautiful . . . but they seemed so strangely different. There clothes for one thing. We tried to blend in by dressing casually when we left HQ on assignment. But these guys were decked out in foreign fighting gear. Black loose pants and long sleeved black shirts under thick leather vests. They had belts around their waist from which unfamiliar weapons hung from.

There were four of them. Two males and two females. They all looked somewhere between the ages of seventeen and thirty. The women had their hair cut in boyish pixie cuts and the men had buzz cuts. I wasn't sure why that stuck out to me but it did.

"Just one?" hissed a dark haired female, "Surely there are more of you?"  
"Go to hell," Hattie snarled, flinging fire at the intruders. This caused them to scatter. Everything became a jumble of chaos then. The vampires all backed up before heading straight for Hattie.

I was about to jump down, signals be damned, but suddenly one of the male vampires was jerked back by an invisible force. He fell to the ground, writhing on the forest floor, being held down by something he couldn't see. Ghost.

"Lottie! Now!" shouted Hattie as she flung fire at the others. I jumped down from my perch and one of the females immediately switched her course to come at me.

"Black out Lottie!" Hattie screamed at me and I got the message. As fast as I could, I concentrated on blinding the blonde female that was coming at me. She screeched a high pitched, horrible sound, and crumpled to the ground. She thrashed blindly on the floor while I ran to help Hattie. She was trying to ward off two of them with fire but it wasn't easily. The closely packed trees and brush provided cover for them, not to mention that they were lighting up pretty fast. Bushes were on fire and ignited branches were quickly infecting the rest of the trees.

I tackled the other female from the side before she could reach Hattie. I got her to the ground but she threw me off her with an animalistic snarl. I rolled to the ground, stopping near the male who was being pinned by the invisible Ghost. The man was thrashing wildly until, without warning, Ghost became visible on top of him, gasping. His face was scrunched in pain.

"I should've known it was you again," the guy snarled, smiling slowly. He kicked Ghost in the stomach, hard. With a sharp intake of breath, Ghost rolled off of the guy, panting hard. The guy pounced on him and the two of them began to roll around in the brush.

Just when the female jumped on me. She was clawing at me, scratching my face and sides with her nails. I wasn't sure if I could blind more then one person at a time but I decided now was a good time to find out. I gave it a shot and the woman's eyes glazed over.

"You little witch!" she screamed. "What have you done to me!"  
"Fuck you," I snarled, kicking her off me. Once I was on my feet I went over to where Ghost and the other man were fighting. The trees around us were on fire and looked like lit torches. The bushes and grass were smoking and burning. I could hear Hattie and the others nearby, screaming and yelling. Fire was flying through the air.

The man and Ghost were both on their feet then, and the man had slammed Ghost into a tree. Furiously, I kicked the man in the side as hard as I could. He fell to the ground and looked up at me with hate. He grabbed something out of belt and flung it at me. I ducked out of the way as the knife stuck into the tree behind me.

I turned back just in time to see the male ram into me. I got knocked to the ground and was then pinned by the man. I blinded him but he wouldn't get off me. I thrashed and thrashed but he continued to hold me down. He obviously knew it was only an illusion and that he shouldn't let me go. He wasn't doing anything to me, just holding me down with some kind of strange desperation. I struggled but he wouldn't let go.

I looked around at the chaos. Fire was everywhere and screaming and yelling drifted around the cover of the trees. Pinned up against one of the not lit trees by the dark haired female was Ghost. Obviously I couldn't blind three people at the same time. Too bad.

The woman was holding a silver blade to his throat. "Don't struggle," she advised, "This could get messy."  
"Let me go," he said, squirming slightly and staring at the knife with wide eyes.

"Shhhh," she purred, "I won't hurt you unless you make me."  
"What do you want?" he demanded, still looking down at the knife apprehensively.

"Scared honey?" she teased, seeing his gaze, "Don't be. The Mistress much wants you alive. You're very useful, and so are your little witch friend and the fire girl. Boss wants them too. But Mistress wants you."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, "Whose this mistress?"  
"Oh I don't think so darling," she said with a cruel smile, "I'm not telling you anything. You can stay safely in the dark. You're used to that, aren't you?"

"Why you bitch," he growled, moving like he was going to punch her.  
"Ah ah ah," she rebuked, looking pointedly at the knife, "I don't think so. I'd behave myself if I were you."

"And if I were you, I'd throw myself off a bride," he snarled.  
"Cute," she hissed, pressing her knife slightly harder against his throat, "Which also happens to be the last four letters of _execute. _Keep that in mind."

"I don't know what you think you're going to do," Ghost said, "There's no way you'll be able to drag me back to your 'leader' without ending up killing me."  
"Oh. We have our ways. And here she is now," she said, looking somewhere behind me.

I tilted my head back to follow her gaze. There was someone - a woman slowly gliding towards us, weaving through trees. I couldn't tell much about her what with all the smoke. Only that she had long straight hair and glowing red eyes.

Suddenly, a flash of light filled the forest. It was painfully bright. A thousand times worse then the sun's light. This light was a white light - the kind I imagined people saw before they died. I would've thought I had just died if I hadn't heard Hattie screaming. The light disappeared and then there was nothing.

Only darkness


	35. How You've Betrayed Me

**You Don't Know How You've Betrayed Me**

When I came to I had no idea where I was. I couldn't see anything and I knew there was something over my eyes; I could feel the fabric of a blindfold of some form over. My back was up against something metal and round. A pole, I decided. My arms were wrapped around it, bound together by something. I pulled at it but it wouldn't budge. It must've been silver.

I didn't feel cold, but I knew that the temperature of this place was probably low. It didn't affect me but that didn't mean I didn't notice it. I could also tell that it was moist. I could hear the sound of droplets of water hitting a concrete floor. Coupled with the sound of even breathing and even heartbeats. Vampires.

"Hello?" I called. My voice echoed.  
"Lottie?" came Hattie's voice.

"Hattie!" I exclaimed in relief, "Where are we?"  
"I don't know. I can't see anything . . . But I found Joseph and Diego," she said.

"Really?" I asked stupidly, "Where are they?"  
"Hi Lottie," said Joseph and Diego sadly in sync.

"Take a lucky guess," she said dryly.  
"Oh. Sorry. A little blind over here," I said.

"Yeah. Us too."  
"Speaking of blind people, where's Ghost?" I asked. Sure that wasn't very nice but mentioning blind people tended to remind me of him.

"I don't know. If he's down here he's probably still out . . . I don't think so though . . . There's only four heartbeats down here. Joseph's, Diego's, mine, and your's," she explained.

"Where do you think the others are?" I asked.  
"You mean Angel, Ghost, and Selene?" she checked, "I don't know. Probably around here somewhere. Assuming of course that they were abducted by the same people as us. It just seems logical . . . I mean, there aren't a lot of vampire abductions in the tristate area."

"Is this really the best time for jokes?" I asked.  
"Oh, I see how it is. When Ghost does it it's cute but when I do it it's annoying . . ." she muttered.

"Hattie," I rebuked.  
"Just trying to lighten the mood," she said easily.

"Hattie. I'm handcuffed to a pole in the basement with a blind fold on," I informed her. "A dreary mood is the least of our worries."  
"Actually, now that you mention it, I'm pretty sure I saw a porno that began similarly . . ." she trailed off.

"What is it with you and relating real life situations to pornos?" I demanded.  
"She does that quite a lot," Joseph chimed in.

"We're getting off topic," Diego chided.  
"He's right," I said, "We are horribly off topic."

"Well I've been up for over an hour," Hattie said, "And so far I've had no luck at escape plans. We have no way of knowing where we are. And from what I can tell, we are all scattered throughout the room. Nowhere near each other . . . I think we have to sit and wait for things to change before we can formulate a plan."

"I kind of have to agree," Joseph said, "I've been here for at least a day and I haven't been able to think of anything."  
"Well, I've been here since Sunday . . . And according to Hattie it's either Thursday or Friday . . . Which means I've been here for over four days . . . And in that time, nothing has changed. I don't like waiting here. Who know's how long it'll be before something changes," Diego said.

"I agree with Diego," I said, "Besides, we need to find the others. Who knows what they're doing to them?"  
"Who is they exactly?" Joseph asked.

"Alonzo's vampires," I told him.  
"Alonzo? Really? I got kidnapped by Alonzo's vampires . . . Hmm I'm pretty sure this is facebook worthy," Joseph said.

"More jokes?" I asked, "Really guys?"  
"Hey. I've expressed my opinion on the matter of us waiting this out," Hattie said, "Therefore I'm going to enjoy my time here."

"Enjoy your time here? In the dark? Handcuffed?" I quipped.  
"Yes . . . We could play the guessing game. Okay . . . I'm thinking of a number between one and one hundred . . ." she trailed off.

"I know you aren't serious," I said.  
"Forty two?" Joseph guessed.

"Higher," she said.  
"She's serious," Diego sighed.

"Eighty four?" he tried again.  
"I can't believe you're actually playing games," I muttered in exasperation. I was ignored though.

"Lower," she said.  
"Seventy one?" Joseph guessed.

"This is unbelievable . . ." I grumbled.  
"Lower," she said.

"Fifty five?"  
"You two sicken me," I told them.

"Higher," she said.  
"Sixty two?" he tried again.

"Oh for the love of God it's sixty nine you moron!" Diego exclaimed in exasperation, "It's Hattie we're talking about, dipshit . . ."  
"You got it," Hattie chirped happily.

"Damn it . . . That was my next guess," Joseph said.  
"That would've been my first guess," Diego muttered.

"Okay let's play again," she said, "I'm thinking of a number between one and one hundred . . ."  
Diego sighed. "Seventy one."

"Right again!" she announced.  
"How did you know that?" Joseph demanded.

"It's _Hattie_," he said.  
"Actually I don't get that either. What's seventy one mean?" I asked, despite myself.

"I'll explain it another time," Diego said.  
"Why not now?" Hattie challenged, "We have time to kill after all."

"Why don't you?" he retorted.  
"First you play games. Now you argue," I muttered, "Seriously Hattie, do you not realize how dire this situation is?"

"Well what do you expect us to do?" Joseph asked, "We're all tied up and blind folded."  
"Wait a minute. Don't you have x-ray vision?" I demanded.

"Yeah but I think I was hit over the head with something silver. My power's not working right," he said.  
"Same here," said Hattie, "I got nothing."  
"Nada," Diego agreed.

"And we have no way of testing mine . . ." I trailed off.  
"Too bad Ghost isn't here," Joseph sighed, "He could use like echo location or something to help us out."

"He was blind," I told him, wishing he could see me roll my eyes, "Not a dolphin."  
"I know _that_. I'm just saying that he's probably really good with being able to tell where he is in the dark," he explained.

"You know . . . That's actually a good idea," I trailed off.  
"Good idea? What a idea? I wasn't aware I'd came up with an idea," he said.

"We have to think like a blind person . . . We have to rely on some other senses to figure out where we are," I mumbled.  
"Well . . . there is something dripping on my head. Which I can only hope is water," Hattie said, "So I can only assume that we are on Earth. Which, as you know, is the only planet we know of that has liquid water."

"Thank you Hattie for that _marvelous _piece of information," I snarled sarcastically.  
"Just brainstorming," she said.

"How about you just shut up and let me think?" I snapped.  
"Promptly shutting," she said.

I concentrated on my hearing. Our voices had been echoing so the room was probably pretty large and vast. I could only assume there was a lot of metal around here - seeing as it was so cold and wet. I kind of wanted to say that there was a body of water nearby . . . due to the sloshing sounds of water somewhere.

"Do you have any idea where we are?" I asked, "Any idea what so ever. Anything?"  
"Nope. Got knocked out and woke up here," Diego said, "Haven't seen or heard a single person since."

"What happened to you exactly?" I asked.  
"Me and Angel were out hunting. We were ambushed by some of Alonzo's vampires and they knocked me out. Then I woke up here and was soon joined by Joseph," he said.

"Joseph?" I prompted.  
"Benjamin and I were checking out this new potential vampire when I heard something nearby and went to go look. I don't even think he noticed me wander off . . . And then I got jumped by some vampires. Then this really weird thing happened . . . There was this bright flash of light and then everything just went black. And I woke up here," he said.

"What about when they brought us in?" I wondered, "Did you hear anything?"  
"Not really. I could hear them dragging you guys in and tying you up . . . But no matter what I said they wouldn't answer me," he said.

"Wait - did you hear that?" Diego asked.  
"Hear what?" I repeated.

"Shhhh . . ." he hissed. We all quieted and I listened hard. I could hear the faint sound of tumblers. Hushed voices and faint footsteps reached my ears. Due to the way the footsteps seemed to be getting significantly louder I wanted to say that they were descending stairs.

When they reached us nobody spoke or even breathed as far as I knew. Their heartbeats indicated that there were at least six of them.  
"Good morning captives," said a melodic male voice.

"Good morning . . . you," said Hattie.  
He laughed a half amused, half menacing laugh. I felt my skin crawl.

"Try and guess who I am little darklings," he said, "Surely it won't be that hard."  
"By any chance is your name Alonzo," drawled Diego dryly.

Alonzo laughed again. "Very clever you are young Diego. Newly turned less then a month ago and yet you stay calm in stressful situations. Very impressive. You're partner Angel must have rubbed off on you."

"What've you done with her?" he demanded.  
"Oh you'll see her soon enough. Along with your other friends," he soothed, "You are all very useful to me and my mistress."

"And who exactly is your _mistress_," I quipped.  
"You'll meet her in time as well, Charlotte," he told me. "She's busy."

I didn't even bother to ask how he knew my name. I wasn't even really surprised.  
"Busy doing what?" Joseph retorted, "Executing puppies?"

"Actually I believe she's upstairs playing with one of her new toys," he said breezily.  
I didn't even want to know what kind of 'toys' his mistress had.

"By any chance is this toy battery operated?" Hattie quipped.  
"As a matter of fact, no," was all he said.

"What do you want with us?" I demanded.  
"Well . . . I would most love to have Hattie darling on my front lines. And Joseph would make an excellent addition to my medical staff. As much as I'd love to have you and young Diego expand on your powers and eventually become very important parts of my army."

"Why on Earth would we do that?" asked Joseph.  
"We have ways of making you do what we want . . ." he trailed off.

"This sounds like a bad detective movie. _We have ways of making you talk _. . ." Hattie muttered.  
"You are fortunate that I find your wit amusing Hattie. There are others out there who would have you executed for such defiance."

"Defiance? Really? Ridicule yes but I don't think I'm downright defying you," she said, "Just mocking you."  
"Well that's quite enough of that. Now, perhaps you would all be so kind as to join me upstairs for a short time," said Alonzo, "There are a few others who would like to council with you."

"How can I put this nicely . . ." Hattie said, "Oh, right, no fucking way!"  
"I'd first hurl myself off the side of a bridge," I agreed.

"How about a silver knife to the heart?" Alonzo snarled. We were all silent. "What? No takers? Hmm well it's upstairs then I guess." He snapped his fingers and the vampires around him began moving. I could hear their footsteps. I was detached from the wall but my handcuffs were quickly reinstated before I could run. Somebody had their hands on my cuffed wrists, guiding me forehead. I could hear the others struggling as we were herded upstairs.

When we reached the top it was significantly warmer, which gave me the impression that we were exiting a basement. I couldn't see through the thick blindfold but I could see light shining through it. Which told me that it was brighter up here. They continued to lead us around but I had no idea where I was. It was disorienting, not even being able to imagine your surroundings. It made me empathize with Ghost's former blindness. Thinking of Ghost caused me to panic. Where was he?

Eventually we were brought somewhere where we were pushed down into hard wooden seats. Our handcuffs stayed intact and were actually bound to our chairs. But our blindfolds were lifted. I blinked slowly, taking in the scene around me. It felt great to see again. Until I took a good look around.

We appeared to be in some sort of cathedral. It was large with high ceilings from which many elaborate chandeliers dangled. There were stain glass windows on the walls, depicting biblical scenes. Vampires were scattered among the room like guards, dressed like the ones who had abducted us. I was sitting in a wooden pew next to Hattie, Diego, and Joseph. Each of them looking baffled and battered. Hattie was staring ahead of her, seeming shocked.

I followed her gaze to the alter in front of us. Instead of the typical offering table I often saw in christian churches there were thrones up there. Two large ornate thrones were there. They looked like they were made of pure gold and were incrested with colorful jewels. One was empty but the other contained a man who I could only assume was Alonzo.

He was young looking, probably in his late twenties when he was changed. He was death pale and handsome with scarlet eyes. He had quizzical eyebrows, the kind that made him always look interested or amused. Or maybe he was just then. His hair was a chestnut color that was neither brown nor blonde. He was dressed in a white suit with a black tie with intricate designs. There were a few things about him that struck me as strange. For one, he had black eyeliner around his eyes. More so then I'd ever seen on anyone. It looked like he had painted black around his eyes, like a raccoon. On his head was a black crown with red and green jewels adorning it, which struck me as just a tad conceded. His hands were resting on the armrests and I could see that crosses were burned onto the back of his hands.

Standing by his side was a girl. She wore a loose flowy black dress that just past her knees. It appeared to be made of thin material. It was sleeveless, allowing me to see that several small crosses were burned into the skin of her pale arms. She had black eyeliner identical to Alonzo's around her bright red eyes. Around her neck was a thick black leather choker with rubies incrested into it, from which a small cross hung. She wore a dainty silver tiara adorned with black jewels on her pale blonde head.

"Angel," gasped out Hattie, looking devastated.  
"Lovely to see you Hattie dearest," said Angel breezily.

"I can't believe you," Joseph said.  
"You traitor," Diego accused, looking just as betrayed as Hattie.

"You bitch!" I exclaimed.  
"Nice to see you too Charlotte," was all she said.

"You betrayed us! I'm going to kill you!" screamed Hattie, struggling with her restraints. It was no use though, our handcuffs had been looped through some sort of silver ring attached to the back of our seats. Our seats that were rooted to the floor. Although, if it wasn't for the silver touching our skin, we probably would've been able to detach the bench from the floor. The contact with silver weakened us.

"Hush now," Angel snapped.  
"She is quite right," Alonzo spoke. "We must wait for my mistress and her darkling to arrive before we council. Angel dearest, why don't you go fetch them."

"Anything for you my lord," she said with an obedient bow. She pranced off, not even giving us a second look as she slipped out a door off to the side of the alter. I felt pretty shell shocked. I couldn't believe Angel was in league with Alonzo. I always knew she was crazy, but I never thought she was a traitor. Now, Jessamine had always seemed like someone to be wary of. But I'd been fooled. I'd always thought of Jessamine as being up to something, but I never thought of Angel as anything but harmlessly bitchy and misguided. She'd tricked all of us.

"So children, what do you think of my throne room? Quite splendid isn't it?" asked Alonzo. Looking at him I felt like I was talking to some kind of voodoo priest. What with the creepy crosses burned into his hands and the raccoon style eyeliner, it made him look like some kind of foreign king. The same went for Angel, but she looked more like a princess of darkness or something.

"Quite creepy is more like it," snapped Hattie bitterly. She looked angry and betrayed. I felt the same.  
"An uneducated child like yourself might think that," he said, "But an ancient like myself knows that vampires are surely in the favor of God."

Well that wasn't something I'd ever heard before. I'd heard of vampires being in favor with the devil but never god before. . . I was about to ask about that when the door Angel had exited opened. She strode back in. But she wasn't alone this time.

After her came a beautiful vampire woman. She appeared to be in her early thirties with long brown hair. Her skin was death pale of course, made even more obvious by her dark clothing. She wore a long strapless cocktail dress that hugged her body and reached all the way to the floor. Her bare arms had tiny little crosses burned all over them. A large and decorate black cross hung from around her throat. On top of her head she wore a black tiara, larger then the one Angel had worn. From it extended a black veil that semi covered her long hair. Her red eyes were outlined in the paint like eyeliner. She looked faintly familiar, like I'd seen her once before.

Behind her, to my relief and horror, was Ghost. He looked . . . Well I couldn't really describe it. Somewhere between someone who just saw God, and a spanked puppy. He looked completely awed, but also like he'd been frightened into submission. He was dressed in something he'd never pick out for his himself; black dress pants and a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbow. I was glad to see that no crosses were burned into his skin that I could see. Although he did have the raccoon style eyeliner around his oddly innocent looking red eyes. There was a little black cross painted onto his forehead with what was probably the same substance that was around his eyes. Around his neck was a thick black leather, ruby incrested collar from which a delicate cross dangled.

It was almost comical how many crosses they were all wearing. You know, since they're vampires and all.

As they headed for the thrones Ghost's eyes met mine. They were both worried and awed. I didn't get what his apparent admiration was all about. Nor did I get why he was up there among Angel, Alonzo, and Alonzo's mistress. If I hadn't known better I would of thought he was in on this with them, but I knew he wasn't. He'd been kidnapped, just like me. Not to mention that I'd heard one of our kidnappers say that the mistress had wanted him. I was still horribly confused though.

The woman sat down in her throne next to Alonzo, who smiled faintly at her. Angel took her former position standing on the other side of Alonzo faithfully. Ghost followed the woman to her throne and sat down on the floor in front of her, leaning against the chair like a sulky child. When really he just looked exhausted. The woman stroked his hair soothingly with a superior air, like she was petting a beloved pet.

"Wonderful," said Alonzo, "Now that Julie Marie and Xander are here, we may begin."


	36. You're So Cold

**You're So Cold But You Feel Alive**

I felt my eyes go wide and my jaw go slack with shock. I stared at Alonzo's mistress. Had he just called her Julie Marie? As in Ghost's foster mother? _That _Julie Marie? It couldn't be . . .

I stared at her, connecting it with my memories of the pictures I'd seen of her. The hair was the same, and the face had the same basic structure. Her skin and eyes were completely altered though, so that made it hard to tell. Not to mention that this woman just . . . didn't seem like the Julie Marie from Ghost's photo or from the vision I had. She didn't seem sweet or kind at all. Even though she hadn't yet said a word.

And there was just one slight problem. Julie Marie was dead. Granted, Angel was a liar so her word didn't mean much. But Hattie was obviously not in on this with them, and even she had said that Julie Marie's neck had snapped on impact. I looked frantically at Hattie for some kind of help, but she looked even more shocked then I had. She looked like she was staring at a ghost.

"You . . . you can't be alive," she whispered, sounding like she was in a trance, "You're dead . . . You-you can't be here."  
"I assume of course that you are speaking to me. And I assure you child, that I am very much here," said Alonzo's mistress. Her voice sounded nothing like the sweet motherly tone I'd heard when I visited Ghost's mind. This voice was as beautiful as bells and as sharp as broken glass. Her words seemed to cut through the air like knives.

"I saw you . . ." choked out Hattie, "I saw you die."  
"I promise you, I am no ghost. I am quite alive. What you saw holds no truth. You were misled," she said in that patronizingly swift voice, "Alas, I can not feel sorry for you. You who sabotaged a very extensive plan. It was unintentional of course, but the results remain the same."

"What are you talking about?" Hattie demanded.  
"Nothing of vital importance to you child," she retorted coldly, "At least not yet."

"How are you even alive . . . I saw you after the accident. You were dead," spluttered Hattie.  
"So many things you don't yet understand," she said with a hint of a sigh in her voice, "I would explain them . . . But I don't really feel like it."

"Well I'd hate to inconvenience you," I snarled. Despite my shock, I could never hold back a sarcastic comeback if I had one. And I always had one. It was a knee-jerk reaction.

"Charlotte," she said, nodding and looking at me with steady eyes. I felt the need to shrink away from her powerful gaze but I fought it. I stared back at her, waiting for her to say more. For a long time she didn't. And everybody seemed inclined to wait until she did. Even Alonzo waited in silence for her to speak.

"You are a possible asset to me. But a nuisance all the same," she said finally.  
"You are possibly resurrected. But a zombie all the same," I retorted.

The supposed Julie Marie chuckled coldly. I half expected her to throw back her head and cackle. But somehow this laugh had more affect, making my skin crawl. "Oh silly girl," she scolded, smirking spitefully, "Resurrection would imply that I died. I'm as alive as you are."

"I don't believe you," I challenged haughtily, "Show me proof. Make me believe you."  
"I won't fall into your little trap Charlotte," she told me, "I feel no inclination to make you believe me. You can believe what you please. The truth remains unaffected."

"And what _is _the truth," Hattie threw in, "How are you alive?"  
"Excuse me, but I didn't bring you here to question my mistress," Alonzo stepped in.

"Then why _did_ you bring us here," Diego demanded.  
"Because my mistress wished to question _you_," he said.

"Why," asked Joseph.  
"Because I wish to see if you are fit to join us, as Alonzo says you are," Julie Marie said cooly.

"Can't you just kill us and get it over with?" I groaned and I meant it. I would rather die then join them.  
"That can be arranged," snarled Angel, taking a step forward and pulling a silver knife out of nowhere.

"Angel!" Alonzo rebuked sharply.  
"They aren't important," she insisted, lifting the knife above her head, "Julie Marie is right. They are pests to be dealt with."

"I will decide how they will be delt with," he told her, "Now stop."  
She didn't look happy but she obeyed. She lowered the knife to her side, straightened up, and took a step back to stand faithfully at Alonzo's side.

"You really do need to get a hold on that temper of her's," Julie Marie said disapprovingly.  
"I'd thank you kindly to focus on minding your own darkling, and leaving mine be," advised Alonzo, seeming just a tad annoyed.

"As you can see, Xander has been an absolute _angel_. Isn't that right Xand?" asked Julie Marie, looking down at Ghost and clearly expecting an answer.  
"Yes mistress," he mumbled, looking down at the floor so that his hair flopped over his eyes.

"See?" Her smug comment was directed at Alonzo as she patted Ghost on the head approvingly.  
"I'd hate to interrupt this beautiful moment," Diego spoke up, "But weren't we in the middle of something?"

"But of course," Alonzo said, clasping his hands together, "My apologies. You must forgive me. We're all just getting settled in this new place. And with all the new arrivals tensions are of course very high."

"Then perhaps explaining would keep things from getting worse," I suggested sharply.  
"You aren't in a position to be making threats Charlotte," Julie Marie pointed out.

"My name is fucking Lottie! Not Charlotte!" I exclaimed, stomping my foot. If another god damn person called me Charlotte . . .  
"Very well then Lottie," said Alonzo, who for some inconceivable reason was a lot more friendly and reasonable then Julie Marie. But no matter how friendly he was, he was still creepy.

"Are you ever going to explain or are we just going to sit here all day?" Joseph demanded.  
"Of course not," he said, "Allow me to explain. The bottom line is that I want, no, correction, _crave _your powers to be apart of my army. Such talents you have here. The fiery pyrokinetic, x-ray eyes, the phaser, and the witch girl."

The pyrokentic was obviously Hattie. And Joseph was obviously x-ray eyes. The phaser could only be Diego, with his ability to phase through solid matter. Which meant I had to be the witch girl. Fabulous.

"So?" Hattie snapped.  
"So you will join me. And I'm not requesting. You _will. _And I assure you, you will like it," he said, "We are a tight knitted bunch here."

"I'll slit my own wrists," I vowed.  
"Go ahead," he said nonchalantly, "Xander here is living proof that vampire suicide is not easily done by such methods."

"Do not speak of my son," snapped Julie Marie venomously.  
Alonzo did something that surprised me. He rolled his eyes at her, causing her to hiss protectivly at him. It was strange to see two people who didn't seem like people at all actually interacting.

"Now where was I?" he asked, "Oh yes, you children joining us. Like I said, resistance really is futile. Your powers will be kept under control we can be sure that we can trust you."

"And how do you plan to do that?" Diego challenged.  
"I've expressed how much I desire your powers . . . But I have plenty of useful trinkets of my own around here. Like a certain vampire that we have deemed the paralyzer. She is quite useful. Isn't that right girl?"

"Yes master," came a dangerously seductive voice as a woman walked out of the dark corridor off to the side of the alter. Her red eyes were glowing out of the darkness before she came into the light. She had long black hair and was dressed similarly to Angel. Only she didn't have a tiara or a collar. But she had a loose black dress and crosses burned at random intervals along her bare arms. It was Selene.

"Not another one," moaned Joseph.  
"Are all of you traitors?" I demanded.

"This is unbelievable . . ." Diego mumbled.  
"I hate you," Hattie said without affliction.

Selene ignored us of course, and proceeded to walk around to the front of the alter, so that her back was to us, and kneel before the little royal family. Or maybe she was kneeling to the huge cross hanging from the ceiling. I wasn't quite sure.

"My lord," she said. "My lady."  
Alonzo and Julie Marie nodded in acknowledgment.

Selene stood up then and turned around to face us. She seemed just as smug as Angel did. I was disgusted. I had never done anything to make her hate me. Angel at least had _some _reason to hate me. It was a stupid reason, but it was still a reason. But Selene? I'd been nothing but kind to her.

"Guards," Alonzo commanded, "Please take our newest members to their rooms."  
"Wait - you can't do this," I protested as the guards came over and started unhooking us from the seats. I, along with the others, struggled against them but it was no use.

Not only were we in direct contact with silver, but we were also malnourished. Diego was defiantly going too long without blood, seeing as he had gotten abducted on a hunting trip. I wasn't sure about Joseph but it was probably a week or so. I'd gone with Hattie a few days but all the fighting had made me burn energy fast. I was _ravenous_.

The guards started dragging us toward the back of the chapel. The lot of us struggling the entire time. I was almost out the door when I looked up at the alter, to get another glance at the procession that awaited there.

There was Alonzo, looking like an ancient emperor of a strange nation, sitting there on his throne with faint amusement. There was, the possibly ressurected, Julie Marie looking like some kind of medieval widow in black mourning clothes, smirking over the death of a husband she had murdered for his inheritance. There was Angel, looking like a king's concubine, power hungry and more than eager to satisfy his every need. There was Selene, looking like she was apart of the royal guard, ready to throw down her life for her master.

And then there was Ghost. Sitting on the floor in front of Julie Marie's throne with his head lolled to the side and resting on her leg. He looked tired and drained as she stroked his hair like he was a small child who needed soothing. He didn't seem happy in the slightest though. Really, he just didn't look compelled to care about anything except how exhausted he was.

Looking at him though sparked feelings of protectiveness and anger in me. He was sitting there faithfully by Julie Marie's side, appearing sickly and dressed up in outlandish garb like a life sized doll. I couldn't be sure, but something told me Julie Marie wasn't only interested in being his mother anymore.

He looked up as if he could feel my eyes on him. Under his dark hair, his red eyes looked at mournfully. I wasn't sure what that meant though. I couldn't help but let my eyes flicker down to the collar around his neck for a brief moment. When I looked back at his eyes, he was looking down again, allowing his hair to droop over his eyes.

My eyes moved then back to the supposed Julie Marie. I had once thought of her as the loving foster mother of Ghost who had been taken away from him too soon. But now, assuming this was really here, I thought different. I didn't know the whole story. Like how she was alive or how she was involved with Alonzo, but I did know one thing.

I hated her.


	37. It Gets Under My Skin

**And It Gets Under My Skin, To See You Giving In**

"I'm going to lose my fucking mind."

Hattie and I were sitting in our new joint room, going crazy from just rattling around aimlessly. We had been dragged up here by the guards. Joseph and Diego had been thrown into some room, and then the guards had stuck Hattie and me together. We were no longer handcuffed though. The chains had been cut. But the silver cuffs were still around our wrists, the chains dangling off of them. The contact with the silver made us weak, preventing us from escaping our prison.

This had been over a week ago.

The room we were locked in was pretty nice. Generally big as far as bedrooms went with two beds spaced evenly in it. The walls were dark green with purple painted vines decorating them. The oak dresser across from the two beds had a TV on it. There was a desk against one wall and a bookshelf against the other, next to an empty closet. There were no windows.

We'd had absolutely no outside contact in a week. Locked in this lavish prison. We sat around all day, watching mindless television in the vain attempts to distract ourselves. It didn't really work out so well though, so we found ourselves talking a lot. Trying to put pieces together and figure out what was going on. We came up with several hypothesis, but they always had some crucial flaw that made it impossible for them to be true.

"I know. Me too," she agreed. She was laying on her bed, adjacent to mine.  
"No. I'm serious. If we don't get out of here soon, I'm going to lose whatever remains of my sanity," I vowed. I was laying backwards on my bed, my feet where my head should be. I was on my stomach, propped up by my elbows.

"Yeah I know," she said, "But there's nothing we can do."  
"We should try screaming at the top of our lungs," I suggested, "Annoy them until they give us some answers."

"I don't think that's the best approach," she said.  
"Well we have to think of something," I groaned, "Maybe we could try to get the cuffs off,"  
"Uh Lottie, if that was possible, don't you think I would've thought of it a week ago?"

"I know _we _can't break them ourselves," I said, getting up, "But maybe I could find something we could use to break them off."  
"Good luck," she said, putting her hands behind her head, "There's nothing in this room that could be used as a weapon. Trust me. I've looked."

"There has to be something," I mumbled, rifling through the dresser drawers.  
"There isn't."

"If only we had our powers . . ." I said as I continued tearing apart the drawers, "Then you could melt them off."  
"If we had our powers I could melt the door," she muttered.

I didn't respond, but continued to search the dresser, pulling the drawers completely out and letting them fall onto the floor. Then I tore the clothes out of them, throwing them all over the place.

"I don't know what you expect to find," Hattie said, "There's nothing in here strong enough to break through pure silver."  
Ignoring her pessimistic comments, I continued my search. I moved onto the desk. I tore apart those drawers too. There was mostly useless crap; papers, pens, pencils, scissors. I threw them all on the floor in my search.

I found only one interesting thing. A thin, little silver knife with a wooden handle. Almost like an old fashioned dinner knife.  
"What's this?" I asked, showing it to Hattie.

She looked over it for a second. "It's just an old letter opener. It won't be sharp enough to cut through silver," she told me.  
I slid it into my pocket. Hattie said it wasn't useful, but I figured there was always a chance it could come in handy.

I decided there was nothing left in the drawers to find after a while, and climbed onto the desk. The desk was the kind with the hutch, which meant there could be something useful on top. I peered over to find that there were actually a few things up here. For instance, a large whole puncher, intended to to punch all three holes into a piece of paper at once. It was big and relatively heavy. Well, heavy to me considering the silver contact meant I only had about human strength.

I grabbed it and put it down on the desk. Then I went back up and continued my search. Under a layer of dust I found an empty picture frame. It was made of silver, I could tell by the way it felt when I touched it. It wasn't sharp enough though to cut through our cuffs though. I grabbed it anyway and climbed down.

"I have an idea," I said, as I hoped down. I picked up the hole puncher and the picture frame.  
"You can't be serious," she said.

"Oh but I am," I told her.  
"I'm sure this will go well," she muttered, getting off the bed.

"Just follow my lead," I insisted as I handed her the picture frame. I went over to the door and examined it for a minute. After a few calculations, I lifted the hole puncher over my head and brought it down on the door as hard as I could. It made a slight dent.

"What are you doing?" asked Hattie with a sigh.  
"Just wait," I said, bringing it down on the door again.

"This isn't going to work," she told me.  
"Shush," I told her as I continuously slammed the door with the hole puncher.

After about seven of those the dent was huge and nearly all the way through. One more would do it, I thought. I lifted it over my head and then, as hard as I could, I brought it down on the door. It gave way suddenly, causing me to nearly drop the hole puncher.

I turned to look at Hattie, who looked surprised that my crazy idea had actually worked. Feeling a tad smug, I turned around and put my hand through the hole in the wall. I felt around for the doorknob, which was ideally close to the hole. I tried turning it but it was locked. I got another idea then. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the thin letter opener. I put my hand through the hole again and located the doorknob. I searched with the letter opener for the lock until I found it. Then I proceeded to feel around in the lock with the point until there was a clicking sound.

With a triumpth smile, I pulled my hand back in, put the letter opener in my pocket, and turned the doorknob. The door swung open.  
"And you thought that letter opener was useless," I said.

"How did you learn to pick a lock like that?" she asked, seeming shocked.  
"My friend Darcy locks herself out of her house a lot," I explained as I stepped cautiously into the hallway with Hattie behind me.

It was nicely decorated and vacant. The dark green walls and wooden floors matched our room. There were potted plants scattered around, along with nice tables full of knick knacks and vases. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling and gas lamps were on the walls. There were several doors stretching down the hall, all of them closed. It was oddly quiet.

"Now what?" asked Hattie.  
"Just follow me," I said, "Hold on to that frame."

I felt oddly out of place as we crept down the hallway. It was peaceful and gave me the feeling that I was at a fancy hotel. We listened hard for any sound of Joseph or Diego. But there was none. Not even breathing.

After a while, I heard something. Like silent, running footsteps. It was very faint though.  
"Lottie, we have to go," Hattie whispered, obviously hearing the footsteps.

"No, no," I whispered back, "I have an idea. Get under that table."  
"What?" she demanded in a hushed voice.

"Just do it okay," I said.  
"Fine," she hissed, crawling under the table and peering out from under the tablecloth that draped over the sides.

I stood there and waited. Until a guard came running down the hall, moving fast. She was tall and dark haired, dressed in their usual black clothes and thick vests. She had the arsenal of weapons attached to her belt.

She ran straight for me without pause, slamming me into the wall next to the table where Hattie hid. Her grip was painful, considering I was so weak.  
"How did you get out?" she snarled at me, "You aren't supposed to leave."

"Oh really? I didn't know that . . . The locked doors and handcuffs weren't obvious enough I guess," I snapped back.  
"You have a smart mouth," she growled, putting her hands around my neck, "Master likes it. But Mistress doesn't."

"Well that's too damn bad," I spluttered out as she cut off my air.  
"No it's not. Because they won't have to deal with you much longer," she said, tightening her grip, "Mistress already dislikes you. One slip up, she said, and you were dead. And now you've slipped up big time."

"Hattie now!" I chocked out as she continued to tighten her grip on my neck. I was struggling for air. Suddenly, there was a crashing sound and I was released. The woman crumpled to the ground to reveal Hattie standing behind her. In her hands was the silver picture frame. She'd bashed the woman over the head.

"You okay?" she asked as I coughed at the sudden reinstatement of air.  
"Yeah . . .fine," I managed. I coughed a few more times before I recovered fully. Once I was able to breath normally, I knelt down next to the unconscious female guard. She was out cold.

I extracted a silver knife from her belt. "Jackpot," I said, showing it to Hattie.  
"Bingo," she echoed my enthusiasm.

I straightened up and began to cut my handcuffs off. It took a little while, cutting silver with silver. But the knifes were sharp. And after a few minutes of meticulous work, I was free. I let the cuffs fall to the ground and reveled in my renewed strength. I stretched like a cat as I could fell the strength filling my veins.

I looked over at Hattie to see that she had freed herself with one of the girl's other's knives. She was stretching out her arms with her eyes closed.  
"Much better," she sighed.

"Come on," I said, "Let's go find the guys."  
"One sec," she said, kneeling down and taking the girl's belt off. She put it around her own waist, and adjusted it.

"Good idea," I said.  
"Yeah. Now let's go," she said.

The two of us took off running. It felt good to have our full speed back. We darted down the hallways, listening carefully. Until I heard voices, faint voices that sounded like Diego and Joseph.

"Diego!" I called in a stage whisper, "Joseph!"  
"Lottie?" came Diego's reply from a door down the hall.

"Oh thank God," I said, racing down the hall to their door. I'd been worried about them.  
"Joseph? Diego?" I asked, putting my hands against the door.

"Yeah. We're in here," Joseph said, "How did you guys get out?"  
"Creative thinking," I said, "Now stand back from the door."

I waited a second and then I kicked the door in with ease. It flew into the wall opposite of it.  
"I've been waiting a week to do that," I moaned. Not using my strength drove me crazy.

Hattie and I stepped into the room, which was similiar to our's. The two guys were standing on either side of us, looking just as bad as we probably did. Dried blood on their worn clothes and looking kind of feverish from lack of blood.

"Come boys," Hattie said, "We have weapons."  
"Thank God," Joseph said, shaking his wrists so that the chains jingled, "I can't take this anymore."

He went over to Hattie and she began to cut off his cuffs with a silver knife.  
"Come here Diego," I said, "I'll do you."

Everyone snickered. "Shut up," I muttered as he came over to me.  
I began to cut off his handcuffs and let them fall to the floor.

"Okay, that feels good," he said, rubbing the red marks around his wrist.  
"Hells yeah," Joseph agreed, "Now what do we do?"

"We get the fuck out of here," Hattie said.  
"Ugh no we don't," I said, "What about Ghost?"

"Ghost? . . . Oh you mean that backstabbing subservient little pet of Julie Marie's? _That _Ghost?" Hattie quipped sarcastically.  
"Shut up," I snapped at her.

"All I'm saying is that Ghost obviously doesn't want to be saved," she pointed out, "He looked a little _too_ happy sitting at Julie Marie's feet and wearing a collar like a mother fucking dog."

"Shut up Hattie," I growled angrily, "You don't don't know _what's _going on. None of us do. All I know is that you can't blame Ghost for what's going on. He didn't look happy at all when we saw him. He looked _sick. _Obviously, something's wrong with him. And he needs help. So just shut your mother fucking mouth and stop being such a fucking pessimist."

Hattie looked taken back by my strong words and vicious tone. But I was sick and tired of how judgy she'd been towards Ghost in the last week. Constantly calling him Julie Marie's 'pet' and her 'pathetic little incestious lover.' I'd gotten pissed everytime but this time I'd officially snapped.

"Okay, okay sorry," she backed off, putting her hands up, "We'll go get Ghost. But I doubt he'll want to come with us."  
"We'll make him then," I said, "He's obviously being manipulated."

"Obviously." Diego agreed, "Julie Marie is taking advantage of his childlike dependence on her to make him into her obedient subjugate. And of course he won't have a problem with it because her death devestated him and the return of a mother figure to him is a miracle. He probably feels like he failed her with the car accident and now will take any opprutinity to please her."

We all just stared at him, surprised.  
He cleared his throat and said, "I always wanted to be a therapist," with a shrug.

"Well alrighty then," Joseph said, clasping his hands together, "Who wants to go kick some ass."  
"Hell yeah," I agreed as we all left, running down the hall.

"Where are we even going?" Hattie asked.  
"Back to the chapel," I said.

"Why?" Joseph asked.  
"Well first off, it's the only room I know how to find," I explained, "And the only one where we ever saw Ghost so . . ."

"I guess it's a good start," Diego mumbled. We went down several staircases and started heading for the chapel.  
"I wonder where everyone is," Joseph said, "I haven't seen a single guard."

"We saw one," I said, "But that was it."  
"I wonder where they all are . . ." Diego muttered as we pushed open the front doors to the chapel.

"I think I know," Hattie whispered.

The whole chapel was _packed. _Every seat had a vampire sitting in it, all clad in black. In positions nearly identical to the ones they were in last week on the alter was the little royal family. In their thrones were Alonzo and Julie Marie. They looked exactly like they did last time, in nearly identical outfits. Angel was still next to Alonzo and Selene was on the other side of the alter. Both of them looked pissed and deadly, crouched and hissing. Sitting on the floor next to Julie Marie's feet was none other then Ghost.

He looked even worse then he did last time. He was dressed in black pants and a blood red button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbow. He still wore that goddamn collar with the cross hanging off of it. His red eyes, still outlined in that heavy black charcoal crap, were bloodshot. His black hair was horribly disheveled and fell across his forehead in greasy streaks. He looked entirely worn out, his head resting on Julie Marie's leg.

"Hmm seven days to escape," said Alonzo, "To be honest, I was expecting something a little more _impressive_,"  
"I for one, am not surprised," Julie Marie said with disdain, "I knew they couldn't be as great as you said they were."

"Well they didn't have their powers and they didn't have their strength so it wasn't so bad," he said.  
"Eh," she said, cleary not impressed.

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded.  
"Come forward," Alonzo said. "And I will tell you a little story."

Selene hissed at us as we made slow progress up the tiled isle. The vampires seated in the pews glared at us and I tried to ignore it. When we were all standing in front of the alter, it felt like judgement day.

"Selene," Alonzo said simply and she stopped.  
"Now," he began, "I'm sure you're all wondering why we're in a chapel."

"And why you all have crosses burned into your arms," Hattie added.  
"Well I'm sure you all know something about Christian religion," he said, "And assuming that you do, I won't drone on about that. I'll start my story at the Last Supper. Surely you all know what that is."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Julie Marie muttered distastefully, "They are all just a bunch of heathens."  
"We know what the Last Supper is," I snarled. Sure I wasn't religious at all . . . Nor was I sure that I even had a religion. But I wasn't stupid.

"I'm surprised," she said nastily, stroking Ghost's hair and giving me a challenging look that said _'what are you going to do about it?' _  
I bit my tongue and looked down at Ghost. He was staring off into space and yawned adorably once.

"Very good," Alonzo said, "Now on with the story. Now, I'm sure you're all familiar with the famous words of Jesus Christ. _This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me. This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me. _Think about that for a moment, if you will. What could those words mean?"

"Uh that he wanted all humans to eat the eucharist in remeberance of him and to be blessed with the holy spirit?" Joseph asked.  
I raised an eyebrow at him in surprise. I had no idea what he just said.

"My family was very religious. I went to church. Sue me," he said.  
I shrugged. Some people were religious. I wasn't.

"That's what most humans seem to think," Alonzo said, "But here, we have our own view. Think about it. _The drinking of the blood. _Could he possibly be referring to vampires? Of course. Our favor is with God for we drink the blood of the living, as He wants us too."

"I'm pretty sure he didn't mean that literaly," Hattie said, "I mean, I can't be sure, I wasn't there. But I'm just guessing."  
"That's the difference between you and I. I'm nearly two thousand years old. One of the oldest vampires still alive today. And I've spoken with many who were alive during the life of our savior. And they assure me that our Lord surely favors us blood drinkers. Which is why we seek to fufil our divine vocation. To turn as many worthy humans into vampires as we can, so that they may be in our Lord's favor as well. And the rest, _unworthy _humans will be harvested and bred for their blood."

I had come to a conclusion. "You're all crazy," I said.  
"Are we?" he challenged, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

"Kinda," Diego said.  
"That's your oppion I suppose," he said, "It's the wrong one of course but . . ."

"What's wrong here is your crazy belief system," Joseph said, "If I was God, I would send you all to hell."  
"Luckily," Julie Marie said, "You are not."

"Just let us go," I said, "We don't want to serve you."  
"Oh, but I can think of something you do want," she taunted cruely, stroking Ghost's hair to make a point.

I growled low in the back of my throat. "We don't want to serve you and we won't. Just let us all go," I said as my eyes flicked to Ghost, "All of us."  
"Give up my precious Xander?" she asked with mock disbelief, "Never."

"He doesn't want you," I insisted.  
"Oh really? Why don't you ask him then," she challenged.

"Because you've obviously done something to him," I said, eyeing him worriedly, "He's not himself."  
"Oh, Xander know's what he want's," she said, "Don't you Xand?"

All eyes were on Ghost then, where he sat on the floor next to Julie Marie, looking small and sickly and frightened.  
"I-" he began and then was suddenly overtaken with racking coughs. His whole body was shaking as he coughed into his hands.

"Ghost!" I exclaimed in a panic. I took a step forward autmotically to go to him but Julie Marie beat me to it. She stood up suddenly and roared. Actually roared like a ferocious lioness defending her cub. Everyone seemed to shrink back automatically from her fury.

"Stay away from him!" she screamed at me as Ghost continued to cough uncontrolably. I was frozen in place by how terribly protective Julie Marie was. She sunk down to the ground next to him, pulling him into her arms while he continued to cough wildly into his hands. When he finally stopped he was still shaking like he was cold or something. He looked down at his hands with wide eyes.

They were covered in bright red blood.


	38. Stand Around And Watch You Die

**I Won't Stand Around And I Won't Watch You Die**

The blood on his hands was a deep tantalizing scarlet. It reminded me of how _thirsty _I was. I hadn't had a drink in over a week, and the sight of that rich blood was causing thoughts of blood lust to swarm around in my head like a nest of angry bees. I was just about to move forward when a sudden spark of horrid rage cut through my bloodlusting haze.

There was Julie Marie, kneeling behind Ghost and cradling him against her chest while he shivered uncontrolably. Acting like she was _worried about him_. She had _caused _this. I knew she had. I didn't know exactly how . . . Or if it was even intentional. All I knew was that he was sick because he was _here. _And if she had just left us all alone he would be fine.

Completely enraged, I ran up the steps of the alter and shoved Selene out of my way when she tried to stop me. Angel did too, so I elbowed her in the stomach and sent her stumbling off the alter. When I reached Ghost, Julie Marie shot up. Her absence of support causing Ghost to lean back against the throne while he began to cough again.

"Stay. Away." she warned in a voice as sharp as cutting daggers.  
"Make me," I snarled, pulling out the silver knife that I'd stolen from the guard out of my pocket.

"You think you can hurt me with that little toy?" she mocked.  
"I can try," I hissed just as Selene and Angel appeared next to me, their eyes glowing murderously like rabid guard dogs.

"Relax girls," said Julie Marie, "I can handle her."  
"Oh really?" I snapped as Selene and Angel backed away obediently.

"Yes, _really_, now if you'll excuse me, I need to tend to Xander," she said.  
My eyes flashed down to Ghost, where he sat on the floor, leaning against the front of the throne. He was coughing up blood into his hands, looking scared.

"I - I don't want-" he chocked out between racking coughs.  
"You don't want what baby?" Julie Marie asked sweetly, kneeling down in front of him to caress his cheek softly.

"I don't want - don't want to be . . ." he tried to say through his coughs.  
"Shhhhh . . . You're okay sweetheart," she soothed, pushing his hair back from his forehead.

"No - No I'm . . . not," he coughed out, staining his hands with more blood.  
"Shhhhhh, you're okay. You're okay," she crooned, petting his hair softly, "Mama's here."

"You. Are. Sick." I snarled at her. Really, referring to herself as mama while she treated her foster son like a pet . . . Not cool.  
"Actually, Xander is the one who is sick. Which is why he needs me to take care of him," she snapped at me acidly, her head whipping around to glare at me. Somehow, even though she was looking up at me, her hatred filled eyes still made me feel intimidated and small. I had to work not to shrink away.

"Is that why you did this? Did you make him sick just so you could take care of him and pretend to be his mother again?" I demanded.  
Like I'd planned, that seemed to hit a nerve. With deliberate slowness, as if she was building the tension by making me wait, she got up and turned around. Her eyes bore into mine. They were practically overflowing with immense loathing. Once again, I felt intimidated by her. She was taller then me, probably around the same height as Ghost, and she was looking down at me like I was an insect she planned to squash.

"I do not pretend to be his mother," she growled precisely, "I am."  
"Some mother you are," I snorted, "Incestious tendencies and all."

If possible, her gaze became even more full of hate. She didn't just want me dead anymore. She wanted me to _suffer.  
_"I don't believe I have the slightest idea what you're talking about," she said primly, suggesting that she knew that everyone knew she was lieing.

"You're a lieing bitch," I snarled, half surprised myself. How could Ghost's JM have gone so bad so fast?  
"Little whore," she said, and faster then I expected, she pulled my knife out of my hand. In a rapid fast movement, she sliced a cut across my arm before back handing me across the face.

The force of the blow sent me tumbling back and off the alter. I landed on my ass on the tiled isle, next to Hattie. I looked at my arm, where pain had sprung up. I was surprised to see that the cut she'd caused was bleeding. I wasn't used to bleeding in this vampire state of mine. I put a hand over the bleeding slice and stared up at Julie Marie in pained surprise.

"You're an awful person," I said, my voice sounding somber and childlike. "And an even worse mother."  
"Shut up," she hissed, "Shut up you little witch. Somebody, remove her from my sight."

I was grabbed then by Angel and Selene by the arms, they both yanked me up harshly. Hattie and the others protested but they were quickly snatched up as well by other guards. While they struggled, Selene and Angel began dragging me down the isle, towards the exit. I thrashed and kicked and fought but they wouldn't let go.

I looked up at the alter as they dragged me away. Ghost was sitting on the floor, trembling and coughing up blood. Julie Marie stood partially in front of him in a protective way. Her eyes were on me, coldly pleased as they dragged me away.

"I'll get away from here one day," I said when we reached the door, making sure my voice could be heard, "But you'll _never _be his mother!"

* * *

"And we're locked up . . . again," Hattie muttered, throwing herself down on the fluffy bed with a huff.

We were in some kind of lounge, it appeared. It was a large, spacious room with one big fluffy bed with a bunch of pillows. There were several couches around a large TV and a hot tub. The room had shag carpeting on the floor and even on the walls. There were rugs and paintings and potted plants decorating it. The two ornate doors that led to it were unlocked.

"No we're not," Diego pointed out, flopping down on the tiger printed sofa, "The door's not even locked."  
"Well, we might as well be locked in," Hattie complained, "Even if we got out, they'd have us in a millisecond. Did you _see _all those guards before?"

"I, for one, don't plan on leaving just yet," said Joseph, sitting down on the couch next to Diego and picking up the remote.  
"Well, _I _do," I said, "I plan on leaving right _now_."

"Good luck," Hattie said lazily, hugging a feathery pillow to her chest, "You're going to need it to get out this place."  
"I didn't say I was trying to get out of the building," I told her.

"Then where exactly are you going?" she asked, "Because I don't imagine that there's much to do here in religious vampireville."  
"I'm going to find Ghost," I said, my voice steely with determination and partial anger. I couldn't believe how resigned they all were!

"Of course you are," she sighed, "You're devotion to your lover makes me quite ill."  
"Don't be bitter Hattie," Diego told her.

"I'm not bitter," she snapped.  
"Fine but a thousand years from now, when you own fifty cats and have named them all after ex-boyfriends. Don't say I didn't warn you," he said.

Joseph laughed. "Ha, nice one amigo," he said, raising his hand for a high five.  
Deigo stared at it. "If you want to keep that hand you'll never call me amigo again," he said.

He lowered his hand. "Got it mi hermano," he said, flashing the thumbs up sign.  
Diego glared at him. "No," he said simply.

"Okay, what about chico?" he checked.  
"I'll punch your face in."

"Compadre?" he tried again.  
"That's not even Spanish you retard," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Really?" Joseph asked.  
"Yeah. It's a southern thing," he explained.

"Hmmm. Didn't know that," he mumbled.  
"Um children?" I interrupted, "If your done with the language lesson, I'll be on my way."

"Okay. Have fun. Don't die," Joseph said breezily.  
Diego smacked him upside the head. "Castro es más sensible entonces usted," he muttered.

"You just insulted me didn't you?" he asked.  
"Si," he said with a smug smirk.

"You are such a jerk," he muttered.  
"Vete la chingada, tu hijo de puta," Diego returned.

"What?" he demanded.  
"I think he just called your mother a whore," Hattie informed him.

"Okay," I said, "I'm going now."  
I was ignored. "You little chicano bastard," Joseph said.

"I'm opening the door . . . " I trailed off, opening one of the large doors.  
"Racist little prick," Diego retorted, igrnoing me as well. They were playing around, yet they still got so into their little fight.

"I'm walking out the door . . ." I said, stepping half outside.  
"Children, children," Hattie said, talking to Diego and Joseph, "Let's not fight."

"Yeah whatever. Why don't you go make me a sandwhich, bitch," he said.  
Hattie chucked a pillow at him. "Sexist bastard!"

"You're racist and sexist, good job Joey," Diego said.  
Joseph smiled. "Don't I just suck?" he asked proudly.

"Yeah. Samantha's clit," Hattie muttered.  
"What!" he demanded while Diego burst into laughter, so much that he actually fell off the couch.

"Yeah, Sam's room is across the hall from mine," she said, "I hear things."  
"I would agree with Hattie if I wasn't too busy _leaving_," I hinted, waiting for someone to acknowledge me.

"I can't believe you went down on Sam!" Diego exclaimed between his fits of laughter, "You little whore!"  
"Fuck you man," Joseph said, kicking him in the head. He was still laughing.

I realized then that nobody was going to pay any attention to me. "Oh fuck it all!" I shouted, leaving and slamming the door behind me. Then I began running down the empty hallway. Everybody else could banter and have fun and act like we weren't in the middle of a crisis, but I couldn't.

Not until I found Ghost and ripped Julie Marie to shreds.


	39. To Rip Her Heart Out

**And I Want To Rip Her Heart Out Just For Touching You**

I was running and running down the hallway, not exactly sure how I would know where to find Ghost. Well, I knew he'd be wherever Julie Marie was, seeing as he was her "pet." And, it also stood to reason that he'd be in her room. Hopefully because she was taking care of him and not because they were partaking in less then moral activities. I was really rooting for that first one.

The more I ran the more I became aware of how I had no plan whatsoever. I didn't even have any weapons if I ran into anybody. They'd confiscated my knives. Sure, I still had my strength but I didn't have my gift, which was bad. But, so far I hadn't run into any guards. They were probably still in that meeting from earlier.

I ran through hallway after hallway, not finding anything that struck me. There was one thing I found strange though. The lack of windows. Everywhere I looked, there were absolutely no windows. What the hell kind of place was this?

I tried not to dwell on that though, and focus on listening for any signs of Ghost or Julie Marie. Or anybody really. This whole place was dead. There wasn't a single person around that I could sense.

I had decided that Julie Marie's room would probably be on the top floor. It just made sense. I kept going up staircase after staircase until I reached what I assumed was the top floor. There was nothing on this entire floor except for a large oval shaped room. It was like a some kind of religious lobby with crosses and paintings of the last supper adorning the walls. There were a few plants and rugs around as well that made it look decorative.

On the other end of the room were two large double doors. They were painted black and had some kind of ancient writing carved on them. The carvings were painted a bright emerald green. I could hear faint breathing from behind them. My first instinct was to run through them to see if it was Ghost, but I stopped myself. It could be anybody behind those doors. I waited and listened a moment longer. Until I heard the familiar coughing. It was defiantly Ghost.

This time I couldn't stop myself. Now that I knew Ghost was in there it didn't matter who else was back there. I ran forward and pushed the doors open forcefully. They flew open with such force that they slammed back into the walls, causing them to rattle.

I was standing in some kind of fabulously large, ornate room. It looked like a princess lived here. The walls were painted the same emerald color as the door and the floors were black carpeting that looked amazingly soft. There were overstuffed couches all over in bright colors covered in pillows. There was a hot tub, three full length mirrors that were connected to form a mini house of mirrors in one corner, a table against one wall with a basket placed on it between two large burning candles.

Then there was a huge circular shaped bed. It had bright screen sheets that looked like silk. Tons, and I do mean tons, of silk pillows were on it in a variety of colors. Propped up against all those pillows was Ghost. His shirt had been exchanged for a white button up one that was quickly turning red with the blood he was coughing up. He looked _bad. _His hair was damp with something and it stuck to his forehead. His hands were red with blood and his face looked exhausted. Once again, I couldn't help but let my eyes flash to his neck, where that god damn collar was still in place. It was sexy as hell but I still hated it.

"Lo-Lottie?" he said between coughs, sitting up.  
"Oh Ghost," I exclaimed, elated, as I ran forward and crawled up onto the bed next to him. I knelt at his side, and pulled him into my arms. I just wanted to feel him near me, more then anything.

While I was hugging him he continued to cough uncontrollably. He was trying to say something, and he might've been asking me to let him go, but I ignored him and just held him against me. I tried to soothe him while he coughed, stroking his hair and crooning to him that everything would be alright. I could tell by the way he was squirming that he wasn't comfortable with my fawning. I was aware that I must seem like Julie Marie, the way I was treating him like a sick child, but I didn't care. Something about seeing him in this reduced state made me want to take care of him, and coddle him, and baby him.

Eventually his coughing ceased but he hadn't regained his voice. He fidgeted to indicate that I should let him go but I didn't. Instead I laid back against the pillows, bringing him with me so he could rest. But the whole time I never once released him. I missed him so much and seeing him sickly and collared and locked up made me want to hold him close to me.

He, of course, didn't like that. He was still squirming uncomfortably in my arms, coughing occasionally. He didn't speak. I sensed that he had something he wanted to say but couldn't. I wasn't sure if the restrictions were physical or emotional.

I was aware that I was on a mission; a mission to get Ghost and get out of this place. I was aware that Julie Marie could walk in at any second, and promptly rip my head off. I was aware that there were a lot of things I should be doing. But I didn't really care. I had Ghost in my arms and I didn't need anything else.

But of course Ghost wasn't content with that. He was never really content with anything, in retrospect. But this was one rare time when he was right in not wanting to lay around. He, for once, was being rational. And I was irrational. Oh how the tables have turned.

Not that he had much room to express his rationality. He was as sick as a dog (no pun intended with the whole collared thing) and he could barely speak. He kept clearing his throat like he was trying to regain his voice.

"Lot . . .mph . . .Lottie I . . . mph . . .Lottie I think," he said, clearing his throat every few seconds.  
"Shhhhh," I soothed, petting his hair, "Don't talk. Just rest."

"Lottie this is . . . this is serious," he said.  
"I know baby, I know," I said patronizingly.

"Lottie don't . . . don't treat me like a child. We really - really need to talk," he said through his now chattering teeth as he shifted around in my arms so that he was facing me now. Well if he expected me to be able to focus with those big forlorn eyes in front of me he was out of his mind. Just looking at his sad little face made me want to take him far far away from this evil evil place.

"Talking is overrated," I cooed, "Let's just stay here."  
"Char, Char stop it," he said, struggling and squirming to try and escape my grasp. I couldn't help but be just a tad smug that I was currently stronger then him. I shouldn't have been . . . But him being weaker then me was something that the sadist who loved degrading men in me found amusing.

"What?" I sighed, finally giving in. It was probably for the best anyway. I really should've been more goal oriented. But Ghost had that affect on me.  
"You-you have to leave . . . Before JM get's back," he said.

"Leave? As in leave you? Here? With that physco bitch? Do you have a fever?" I demanded.  
"Probably," he replied, "But that's - that's not the point. The point is that JM is gonna be - gonna be back any minute. . . And if she sees you she'll kill you. And I . . . And I won't be able to stop her."

"Well I'll say," I muttered, "You can't even stop me from hugging you."  
He gave me a withering look. "I'm sick, okay - not my point."

"Speaking of which . . . What is _wrong _with you anyway?" I asked, not too sensitively.  
"I'm sick . . . This has been established," he mumbled.

"Well why are you sick?" I asked, "I thought vampires couldn't get sick."  
"It's b-b-because," his teeth started chattering about a mile a minute then and I held him even closer to me.

"Because of what? Who?" I asked, assuming the answer.  
"JM . . . But it's not really her . . . her fault," he said.

"Explain," I commanded.  
"It's my fault. She can - she has this like ability to control - to manipulate . . ." he trailed off.

"People?" I finished, "As in mind control?"  
He simply nodded.

"So she can control people?" I demanded, "She can control you?"  
"She doesn't need any powers to control me . . ." he muttered bitterly.

"And here I thought I could blame the mind control for you being her pet," I mumbled, "Oh well."  
"You can . . . I-I don't want to be like this," he said, "I don't want to be . . . to be her toy. I don't but I can't do anything . . . She uses the mind control on me . . . But when I try and resist . . .it makes me sick."

"I can't believe she would do that . . . to her own son!" I exclaimed.  
"I'm not her son," he said, his voice cracking, "I'm her _whore._"

I'd been getting the exact same vibe about their whole 'relationship' but I couldn't let him think of himself as her whore. It wasn't good for his already low self esteem. "Oh Ghost don't say that," I reprimanded.

"Why not? It's true . . . and everybody in this whole place knows it," he said, "They all treat me like her whore."  
"Oh honey no you're not," I comforted him, even though I couldn't help but feel like I was lieing just a tad.

"Charla - just stop . . . stop trying to make me feel better," he said. I wasn't sure if he had meant to call me Charla or if he'd been trying to say Charlotte.  
"You know I can't," I said.

"Try," he said.  
I was about to tell him that wasn't possible when I heard something. The faint, even clicking of heels on tile. Getting closer and closer. I could hear the quick heartbeat and the steady breathing. A vampire was coming . . . And I was willing to bet that it was Julie Marie.

"JM," he whispered. "Go."  
I didn't want to, but I forced myself to let him go and spring off the bed. As fast and as quietly as I could, I dove behind one of the colorful couches.

"No-Char," Ghost said and then realizing that I wasn't going to leave, he groaned.  
Well what did he expect me to do?

I peered out from my hiding spot to see Julie Marie striding in through the open doors. Which was when I realized I'd left the doors open.  
God, how stupid was I?

"How's my baby doing?" she asked when she walked in. Her voice was sweet and seductive and not cold at all. She hadn't even noticed the open doors.  
Ghost didn't even attempt to answer. He just lay there against the pillows, completely docile. He wasn't coughing anymore.

"My most innocent baby," she purred, crossing the room and crawling onto the bed and then onto Ghost. "My darling Xand."  
He was still silent as she pinned his wrist to the bed with one hand and stroked his hair with the other one.

"My fetching little lover . . . My new favorite toy. My cheap little mutt," she crooned menacingly, "My most cherished stray . . . My sweet paramour. My spoiled baby. My pampered pet . . . My precious little _slut_."

I was about ready to rip her head off for that one, but Ghost just stayed there, trembling slightly with his eyes closed in resignation. As if he had accepted the way she liked to degrade him.

"Isn't that right Xander?" she hissed, grabbing his chin, "You're my cheap little whore."  
He nodded, his face showing desolation and pain . . . But also humility like he'd accepted that he was Julie Marie's.

"Good . . ." she said, harshly releasing his face, "I see you've finally learned your place."  
He nodded again, his eyes still closed.

"Now . . . who loves me?" she demanded with absolutely no prelude.  
He took a deep breath before answering. "I do."

"And whose Mama's favorite little skank?" she asked.  
"I am," he said quietly.

"Who is?" she asked as if she hadn't heard him.  
"I am," he repeated, louder this time.

"That's more like it," she praised, patting his head like a dog.  
I couldn't take it anymore. Another second of this and I was going to explode. I swore to God.

"Now . . . Why don't you use that formerly smart mouth to show Mama _just _how much you love her," she hinted suggestively.  
And _that _was where I drew the line. There was no way I was sitting by quietly while Ghost went down on Julie Marie. No way in fucking hell. So I sprung out of my hiding spot. I slipped into a crouch, and with no reserves whatsoever, snarled wildly at Julie Marie.

"Over my dead body, you hateful bitch."


	40. If I Can't Have You

_I don't do a lot of these AN's on this story . . . I'm not sure why. I feel like it takes away from the flow of the story. Anyway, just wanted to thank you guys for all your AMAZING reviews . . . the last chapter got so many . . . although I have a feeling this chapter will be pretty close. You'll see. Plus, I wanted to tell you guys to check out my new story **Dark In Here. **It's about vampires even if the description doesn't sound like it. I'm pretty excited about it, and I promise not to ditch this story for it, but please check it out. I worked really hard on the first two chapters and I want to know what you guys think. Anyway, enjoy, even though I know you're all going to spaz after reading this . . . Just saying . . . _

_*****************************************************__On With the Story__*************************************************_

**If I Can't Have You**

"When did that _parasite _get here?" Julie Marie demanded, directing her question at Ghost.  
He didn't respond. His eyes darted back and forth between me and her.

"Well Xander? Are you going to tell me what you did," she asked, sounding _just _like a mother waiting for her child to admit something they'd done wrong.  
He didn't say anything. He looked pained though. He shut his eyes tightly like he had a headache.

"Shut up bitch," I hissed, "And get the fuck away from him."  
"Excuse me, but when did you get the right to speak little witch?" she quipped.

"This is America and I will say whatever I damn well please," I growled.  
"Actually, this is _my _palace. And you will shut up promptly before I have silver powder poured down your throat you little wretch," she threatened.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again," I told her, my voice portraying my shock at how callous she was, "You're an awful person."  
"Yes, yes. I've heard it all before," she said airily, "Now if you don't mind, me and my little whore here have some business to attend to. For instance, how I shall punish him for not telling me about his little playmate spying on us."

"Okay, that tears it," I snarled, lunging across the room and tackling Julie Marie from the side. I knocked her right off the bed, both of us tumbling to the floor. We landed with me on top of her.

"Get off me you little slut!" she exclaimed, kicking me in the stomach with her pointy heel. I flipped over her head from the force, landing on my back on the floor.

"You mother fucking bitch!" I shouted, grabbing her hair and pulling it with force. She screeched and thrashed, scratching at my face with her razor sharp nails. Snarling wildly, I pounced on top of her again. She thrashed wildly, and she was pretty strong. Her strength sending both of us rolling on the floor, screaming and punching and clawing and biting. I ripped at her fancy dress and jewelry while she shredded what was left of the hoodie I'd been wearing.

She was pretty strong, probably stronger then me. Forcefully, she kicked me again while I was on top of her. This time it was with a lot more power and a lot more anger. I literally flew off her, flying backwards. I soared over the bed and to the other side of the room, hitting the ground hard. It didn't hurt as much as the kick had. I skidded along the floor, eventually knocking into her mini house of mirrors. The middle one shattered from the impact but the other's remained intact. Glass rained down on me but I didn't care.

I got up immediatly and couldn't help but catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirrors next to me. I looked like hell. My white blonde hair was horrible ratty, knotted and tangled with dried blood in it and some fresher blood. Dried blood was crusted on to my arms along with the new blood. My hoodie lay in tatters, it too was stained with blood. My jeans had genuine holes in them that hadn't been there when I bought them. My red eyes were glowing savagely with manic rage.

In the two seconds it took me to notice all that, Julie Marie was in action. I hadn't even noticed her moving. She must've done it immediately after she got me off her. Because when I looked back up, there was Julie Marie, on the other side of the room with Ghost. He was covered in blood, his own that he'd coughed up over a period of time. He looked exhausted, but now he also seemed panicked. Julie Marie was holding him by his hair, but she was also holding a silver knife to his throat.

Immediately and without thought, I lunged forward to save him.  
"Don't," Julie Marie said with a smirk, "Or I slit his throat."

I stopped dead in my tracks. I was still on the other side of the room. It seemed like such a far distance.  
"You wouldn't," I said.

"Oh but I would," she said, seeming amused, "Xander is mine. But, if I can't him . . . Nobody can."  
"You can't mean that," I said, panicking, "He's your son . . . You love him."

"Of course I do," she said, seeming offended that I would think otherwise.  
"So much that you would kill him just because he doesn't want to be your slut?" I asked.

"In my former life, I would never think of doing what I'm prepared to do now," she said primly, "But I am a vampire now. And I've changed a great deal in the last six months. I'm sure I don't seem like the Julie Marie Xander has told you about. And that's because I'm not. I'm different now . . . And I've learned that when you want something . . . You can never let it go."

"He's your son!" I exclaimed, "You couldn't -"  
"Don't tell me what I can and can't do," she snarled, "I am capable of anything."

And with that, she adjusted the blade slightly before slicing.

I screamed. A scream of pure animal like rage. In blind fury, I charged across the room and rammed into Julie Marie as hard as I could. I ran into her so hard that I actually broke through the wall. Sending both of us into her massive walk in closet. I hardly took notice though. Once we went through the wall I had Julie Marie pinned underneath me. She thrashed uncontrollably, but I wouldn't let her go.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as we rolled on the floor, knocking into different objects, "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"  
"Good luck," she spat.

She was on top of me at that time, so, as hard as I possibly could, I kicked her off me. She slammed back into the wall, creating a hole in it. I got up in a flash and lunged at her. I grabbed her by her hair and flung her into the opposite wall. She crashed through it and I released her, allowing her to fall. She screamed and I peered through the hole I created to see that we were very high up. And that below there was water. Lots of dark water. And when I looked out to the horizon, there was more water. Only water everywhere I looked.

We were on a ship.


	41. Until The End

**I Will Go On Until The End**

I didn't have long to think about this new development. Julie Marie would be back soon. It would take her a while to get back in the boat and get back up here, but when she did, she'd bring others with her. And then we'd be in deep shit . . . Well deeper then we were already.

That was one reason why I didn't have time to stand around and think. The second was Ghost. Julie Marie had slit his throat . . . I wasn't sure to the extent of the damage. I didn't even know if he was fatally hurt, or God forbid dead. All I knew was that I had to go to him.

I ran back into the first room, moving as fast as I possibly could. I skidded into Julie Marie's bedroom to find that Ghost wasn't there. Where he had been standing was a silver blade on the floor. The tip had blood on it.

Now, as you can imagine, that was reason for both extreme panic, and extreme frustration. Panic was simple; where the hell could he have gone? He'd been in no shape for moving earlier and the chances of him being any better now were slim. He was probably worse seeing as Julie Marie had just cut his throat. And frustration was more of a secondary reaction. I had just found the guy and now he was gone again. Could I ever catch a god damn break? No? Of course not . . .

"Mother fucker," I muttered as I picked up the blade and ran from the room. I didn't even bother opening the door. . . I just sort of ran through it. It saved time plus it just felt good to ruin Julie Marie's stuff.

I ran down the hallway and down the stairs at top speed. Stealth was not my objective. I was shouting "Ghost!" at the top of my lungs the whole time. It was like someone had hit my panic button. I was at the peak of my worrying scale. I needed to find Ghost. I needed to get the others. I needed to get us out of here.

As I ran down the hallway on the next floor I got an unpleasant surprise. Standing there were two male guards, looking straight at me. Obviously they'd heard something from upstairs and been waiting for me to come to them. Sneaky bastards . . .

I didn't hesitate at all in my strike. I was angry, I was worried, and I was thirsty. Basically, you did _not _want to fuck with me today.

I ran at them and did a pretty risky move. I wasn't one hundred percent sure it would work but I was willing to give it a shot. I thrust the blade into the stomach of the closer one and used the force to propel my lower body forward. I kicked the other guy in the stomach and sent him flying back into the wall. I ripped the knife out of the guy's stomach when I landed on my feet.

He dropped to his knees, clutching his stomach. The other one got up quickly though and came at me, wielding two knives. I whipped around and growled savagely at him. He swung his knives at me, but I blocked with my single, extremly bloody blade. He had me backed up against the wall but I used my basic training procedures to fight him. Blocking his every move, kicking when I got the chance.

When my defenses failed and he managed to swipe a blade across my cheek I knew he'd crossed the line. I growled lowly in the back of my throat as sharp pain flared up where he'd cut me. Furiously, I struck out with my blade, harder then before, slicing a line from his cheek and over his nose.

"Stupid little whore," he snarled.  
"Look whose talking, whore," I snapped, kicking him in the stomach as hard as I could. He flew into and through the opposite wall. Which was my cue to run, even though I really wanted to stay and kick the pudding out of him. Leaving and finding the others was the smart plan.

So I took off running, as fast as I possibly could. I ran down the halls and jumped down the stairwells, leaving foot prints in the wooden floors when I landed. I kept running and running. I didn't see any other guards. When I reached the first floor I ran straight for our new room. I burst _through _the doors to find the others lounging on the couch, watching TV like this was just any other day.

"Holy shit!" Joseph exclaimed.  
"The fuck happened to you?" Hattie asked.  
"And why did you just crash through our door?" Diego asked .

"We have to go," I panted from panic, "We're on a - on a boat. I found Ghost but now he's gone again and Julie Marie's going to kill me!"  
"Wait, wait, wait. Back up. We're on a boat?" demanded Hattie as they all rose.

"Yes!" I exclaimed, "We're on a boat on the ocean and we need to _go._"  
"How?" Diego asked.

"I don't know! But we need to find Ghost and get out of here before Julie Marie finds us!" I said.  
"Why is Julie Marie looking for you?" Joseph asked.

"Because I sort of pushed her off the boat . . . after she sort of slit Ghost's throat," I said.  
"Sort of? How the fuck do you 'sort of' do any of that. It either happened or it didn't," Hattie said.

"Yes! It happened and we need to find Ghost and go!" I shouted, hopping from anxiety.  
"We should split up," Hattie suggested.

"No, no," Diego said, "That's a bad idea."  
"He's right," I agreed, "We need to stay together."

And before we even had a chance to go, we were attacked. At least fifteen guards poured in from the detonated door, pouncing on us. Hattie screamed. I would've too if I had any screams left in me. I felt desensitized. All I knew right now was that I wanted to kill them. All of them.

We fought out hearts out then. We had no powers and no blood and virtually no weapons, but we still fought. I was lashing out at these guards, taking out my frustration and rage on them. I was using all my moves then, fighting with a vengeance. I kicked, I punched, I bit, and I clawed. I even through in some more showy moves - spinning kicks and kart wheels. Anything to distract them and thus allowing me to wail on them.

But it wasn't that easy. There were more of them then there were of us. Each of us had to fight off several at once. They were all trying to hurt me, not just capture me. I could tell. They were all brutal, all coming at me once. Cutting me and making me bleed. The more blood I lost the angrier I became. The instinctual rage of a wounded animal flared up inside me, making me lash out.

When one big male plunged a blade into my shoulder I snapped. With dark anger bubbling to the surface, I struck back. I backhanded him across the face as hard as I could and then, sensing the approach of someone behind me, kicked back at the attacker. I landed a kick in a chick's face while slicing my blade across another one's neck. I spun around once and kicked three simultaneously.

I was lashing out and I didn't care. I was attacking anybody who came near me, being as brutal as them. I wanted to hurt them. It felt good to make my enemies bleed. To make them hurt like they made me hurt.

When one guy kicked me in the stomach so hard that I flew back into the hot tub, I tore through the side of it. I landed in the hot tub that now had a big hole in the side. The hot water rushed out, but that didn't mean that I didn't get soaked anyway.

"Oops," he said, smiling with fangs as he stood above me. I snarled and lunged up at him. He was strong though and just pushed me back down. I hit the wet floor so hard that I was sure there was now a dent. I tried to asses how the rest of the fights were going but I couldn't because this guy was now on me. He had me pinned against the floor, holding a silver knife to my wrist. I thrashed wildly and desperately but I made no progress.

"Mistress has always wanted you to suffer," was all he said before slitting my wrist. He went in deep. Pain erupted as blood poured from the cut. I screamed at the top of my lungs. He slit my other wrist and blood gushed from it too. I screamed again, even louder. He proceeded in a similiar fashion, slicing cuts all over me. Up my arms and through my sweatshirt to cut into my stomach. He slashed scrapes over my cheeks, under my chin, on my sides, all over me. Again and again. I was bleeding like crazy, slowly losing consciousness. The pain was sharp but my senses were dull. I was screaming and screaming but nobody came to help me.

"Nightie night princess," the guy said. His voice sounded like it was coming through a tunnel. I screamed again, refusing to give up.  
"I'd really appreciate it if you'd shut up," he said and I felt something cold against my throat, "Makes my job easier."

I screamed again. If there was anything I hated more then giving up it would have to be making his job easier. I wanted to make this hard for him. I was going to keep struggling and screaming, letting him know what a horrible person he was. Then again, he probably already knew.

The knife dug in slightly and the addition of pain was nothing compared to what I was already dealing with. I refused to think that I was going to die. The thought didn't even cross my mind. I would live, if no one would save me then I'd save myself.

I screamed as loud as I could, seeing that I'd soon lose the ability. My scream was high pitched and even made my own ears hurt, even though my hearing was fading fast. I opened my eyes enough to see the guy above me, his face scrunched up in pain from the high frequency.

The knife went in anyway and he slowly began to drag it across my neck. My screams chocked off as I felt blood coming from my neck and up my throat.. Even in this state, I was able to deduct that he hadn't hit my jugular vein, since I wasn't dead yet. I sure he'd done it on purpose so I would suffer slowly and die of blood loss.

Suddenly, through the fog in my vision, there appeared someone. Everything was so dark to me that I could barely tell who it was. All I could see was the apparently male silhouette and the glowing red eyes. The figure grabbed my torturer by the hair and flung him backwards. He disappeared from my sight as my vision got even more fuzzy. I'd already lost my hearing.

Everything was silent as the darkness overtook me, drowning me in nothingness.


	42. To Live Is Just To Fall Asleep

**To Live Is Just To Fall Asleep, To Die Is To Awake**

Being dead was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

_I was standing in this beautiful meadow. The trees that outlined it were gorgeous. The leaves were bright oranges, magnificent blues, royal purples, startling reds, emerald greens, and snow whites. It was like each tree was a rainbow. When I looked up the sky it was a clear blue. The sun was shining and I didn't feel any pain, not even discomfort. _

_A little creature zipped in front of me. It was like a littly tiny fairy, about half the size of my hand. It had little pastel colored wings and pink hair. I reached out to touch it but it flew up and out of my grasp. I laughed and I could see it around me. Pink mist and sparkles came from my mouth and floated through the air. I reached out to touch them but they scattered. I laughed again, causing more mist and sparkles. _

_"Could this get any better?" I thought aloud. My voice sounded so pretty that it made me laugh again._

_Half a second later, it did get better. Ghost suddenly materialized at the end of the meadow. He looked as happy as I'd ever seen them. He was wearing his black skinny jeans and his favorite "Hopeless Romantic Seeks Filthy Whore" message t-shirt. His hair was perfect and his lip ring reflected the bright light. His eyes weren't red anymore. They were a pretty green color, and they weren't clouded. He wasn't as pale as a vampire anymore, but probably still pale by human standards. _

_"Ghost!" I exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"  
He smiled at me and he didn't have fangs. "Same thing as you," he said. His voice sounded even prettier then I remembered. _

_"Where are we?" I wondered.  
"Wherever you want to be," he said, his smile growing._

_"Is this heaven?" I asked.  
He stepped closer to me. "What do you think?" he asked. _

_"Yes?" I guessed.  
He laughed and blue sparkly mist rose from his mouth. _

_"What are we supposed to do here?" I asked.  
"Whatever we want," he said with another smile. _

_"Can we leave?"  
"We can go wherever we want," he said. _

_"What's in the woods?"  
He sighed and rolled his eyes. "We're going in circles here Char. Whatever we want to be in the woods is in the woods. Wherever we want to go, we can go. Anybody we want to see we can see. Anything we want to do we can do."_

_"Really? Well . . . Can we go swimming?" I asked on a whim.  
"Of course," he said, smiling, "C'mon, follow me."_

_He took off running and I followed. We weaved through the rainbow trees and over the long soft grass. When I thought for a moment that it was too quiet, birds started chirping. I giggled and then giggled some more at the mist my laughter created. _

_When Ghost stopped I stopped and I saw that we were in another little clearing in the woods. This one was around a beautiful mystical lake. A huge waterfall cascaded down. The water was all different colors, all of them blending into the next. Pink, blue, green, yellow. Bubbles of all different colors rose from the water and into the sky. Sitting on the rocks were mermaids with beautiful tales and long colorful hair. _

_I felt like I was in Neverland._

_"Ohhhhh!" I enthused, jumping right into the water. I went underwater and floated down down down. As I fell through the colorful liquid abyss I saw creatures all around me. Mermaids swam by and waved at me and I waved back. Little water sprites zipped around me playfully, tickling me. I laughed and realized that I could breath underwater. _

_I hit the bottom and felt like I was in a whole new world. Pretty creatures floated through the transparent water, interacting with each other. They were all friendly and happy and just amazing. I blew air out of my mouth and watched the colorful bubbles float up. I laughed and kicked off the bottom back up to the top. _

_I broke the surface and laughed ecstatically. Ghost was standing on the edge of the water, laughing and smiling at me.  
"Well, aren't you going to come in?" I asked._

_"Of course," he said, his smile growing as he walked into the water.  
"Come and catch me!" I called, diving underwater. I could hear him laughing as he plunged in after me. I giggled and giggled as he swam after me. I swam deeper and deeper, down to the bottom._

_I swam through rock crevices and tunnels, laughing ecstatically the whole time. Thinking that I had lost him, I ducked behind one large rock and peered out, expecting to see him searching for me. I didn't and was surprised. _

_"I win," announced a voice as I felt arms around me. I squealled in delight. I turned around in his arms to face him. His face was inches from mine. His lips just above mine. _

_"I guess you do," I said, going up on my toes to kiss him, "Guess what you win."  
"Uh, uh, uh," he teased, "Now _you_ have to catch _me_."_

_He kicked off then and soared up the top. "Hey!" I protested, laughing as I shot up after him. When I reached the surface, I saw him sitting on the shore, laughing at me. I swam over to the bank and climbed up too. _

_"Gotcha," I said, poking his chest.  
"I guess you did," he said, wrapping his arms around me and then lying back against the sand that felt as soft as a cloud. I layed there in his arms, feeling content to just stay there forever._

_"I love you," he said as we stared into each other's eyes. The emerald color of his eyes caught the light.  
"I love you too," I said as he leaned into kiss me. I could hear the mermaids and pixies giggling but I ignored them. _

_"I wish we could be somewhere more private," I said, pulling back slightly.  
"Done," he said, snapping his fingers. _

_The scene around us changed instantly. The mermaids and sprites and fairies and all the other mythical creatures disappeared. The sky became dark and the sun was replaced by a full, white moon. The water turned black to reflect the sky with a mirrored moon in it. The bubbles evaporated as light snow began to fall, although it wasn't cold. The water cascading down the falls was the only sound besides our breathing._

_"Much better," I said, pressing my lips to his. He kissed me back, holding me close to him. The kiss lasted for a long time. I had no idea how long. We just lay there in each other's arms, kissing and soaking in each other's presence. _

_When he pulled away he said, "I love you so much," while stroking my hair lovingly.  
"I love you too," I said, "More then anything."_

_He smiled at me but didn't speak. Just stared into my eyes like they held the secrets of the universe.  
"I wish I could stay here forever," I said. _

_"You can," he told me.  
"Really?" I asked, "How?"_

_"All you have to do is let go," he told me.  
"Let go? Let go of what?"_

_"Of everything. Your life. Your family. Your friends . . ."  
I thought about it for a second. I didn't particularly like that but if it meant I could stay in this amazing place with Ghost forever I'd be willing._

_"I can do that," I said.  
"There's one more thing you have to let go of," he said._

_"And what's that?" I asked, giggling playfully and watching the sparkly mist float from my mouth.  
"Me," he said. _

_My laughter cut off and the mist turned grey before evaporating.  
"What?" I demanded. "Why?"_

_"Oh silly Char," he teased, "I don't belong here."  
"Why not?" I pressed. _

_"Because I'm not dead," he said. And that's when my bubble of happiness burst.  
"Dead?" I squeaked. _

_"Sorry Char," he said, getting out of my grasp and standing up. He looked down at me with remorse.  
"Wait, don't go," I said, scrambling to my feet._

_"I'm sorry Char, I really am," he said, "But I'm not like you. I'm not dead."  
He disappeared then, evaporating like the way he did with his invisibility powers. _

_"No!" I shouted, leaping through the space where he'd been. There was nothing there. I looked around as my strange heaven became bleak. The fluffy snow turned to a harsh rain. Lightening lit up the sky and thunder crashed as I cried. I was dead and I was alone with no Ghost. I cried and cried until the scene in front of me began to crack like glass. The cracks spread up the scene and I felt like I was looking at a broken picture frame. The pieces fell away then, landing into the blackness and shattering. _

_I watched as my dreamland fell apart. _


	43. I Hope That God Looks Away

**And If I Ever Catch The Ones Who Hurt You, I Hope That God Looks Away**

I came back to life with a jolt. Suddenly everything was real. Horridly loud noises vibrated through my aching ears and I could taste my own blood in my mouth. But the thing that most made me realize I was alive, was the intense pain. Horrible pain all over my body. It was like a thousand little needles being dug into my skin while poison ran through my veins, eating me from the inside out.

I tried to scream but it was like my throat had been scraped dry by sandpaper. All that came out was this strangled, gurgly sound.  
"Char?" came a frantic, familiar voice, "Char can you hear me?"

At the sound of my nickname I attempted to open my eyes. I was gratified with a blurry image, nothing at all like normal. Everything was blurry and bathed in red. All the figures around me seemed to be moving with exaggerated slowness. I couldn't make out any of the people though; they were all just outlines.

My eyes ached from the strain and I attempted to move my hand to rub them. Big mistake. Pain shot up my arm at just the thought of movement. I tried to scream again and this time I succeeded. It was shrill though and sounded like a tortured animal.

"Char, you're alive," came that voice again, sounding like it was in a tunnel. In fact everything sounded like it was in a tunnel.  
I moaned quietly, just trying to respond to the voice in some way. Maybe they could help me.

"It's okay Char," the voice soothed, "You're going to be okay."  
I blinked several times, even though every movement tortured me. Slowly, my vision returned to me. It got less blurry and eventually the red tint faded. My eyesight then was a stark imitation of normal. Nothing was as clear as it should've been but I was just glad I could make out face.

One face in particular. Ghost. He was hovering not even a foot above me. He was staring right into my eyes. Blood dripped down his face and he had a gash running along his cheek. There was a bruise under one of his eyes and blood matted his hair. He was as pale as a corpse and his eyes were their usual scarlet tint. He was surely the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"Char," he breathed in relief, "Thank God you're awake."  
I attempted to move my hand again. To touch his face so I could verify that he was real this time. It was a bad idea.

Intense pain shot up my arm and then spread to the rest of my body, where it remained. I screamed. And screamed. And screamed. I just kept screaming, using all of my reserved energy to keep on screaming. I flopped around a bit, trying to work up to a full scale thrash. But all of my extremities were completely useless; just dead, unresponsive things attached to my writhing body.

"We have to get her to Angel," came a frantic young feminine voice. Hattie.  
"MAKE IT STOP!" I screamed.

"She won't help us," said a male voice. Diego.  
"We have to at least try," Hattie insisted, "Lottie's a goner if we don't."

"She won't do it," Diego said stubbornly.  
"She will if Julie Marie asks her too," Ghost said and I watched his eyes harden. I'd been trying to concentrate on his face as a distraction from the pain. It wasn't working.

"Julie Marie would never," came Joseph's voice, "She _hates _Lottie."  
"She will," said Ghost with conviction, "If I ask her too."

"I hope you mean beg . . ." Hattie muttered.  
"I don't see a difference," he mumbled as I suddenly felt myself being lifted off the ground. The touch made the pain even more intense. I screamed louder then before and then felt a hand clamp over my mouth.

"Sorry Char," apologized Ghost, "But you need to be quiet."  
I screamed against Ghost's hand. I just couldn't help it. There was just so much pain.

"It's going to be okay," he promised me. Still screaming and attempted to struggle, I was carried somewhere. I didn't know where . . . All I could do was focus on the pain. Until it seemed to be fading . . . And I was fading along with it. My screams died off. The pain was subsiding but I could feel myself slipping again. Blackness outlined my vision like spilled ink, threatening to drown me in the darkness.

_"No, no, no_," I thought as I felt myself falling away, _"I don't want to go back there . . . No, no, no . . ."  
_I fought the darkness, the silence, the emptiness. I didn't want to go back to that horribly lonely place. I _wouldn't _go back there.

I kept fighting to stay alive, trying to focus on the _real _word around me to keep me grounded to it. I watched through my blurring vision as I was carried into the packed throne room. Only this time, all the guards were standing, their heads whipped around to stare at us. In there usual spots on the alter was the royal family; Julie Marie, Alonzo, Angel, and Selene. Julie Marie was dripping wet for some reason. I knew that I knew why but I couldn't remember it.

I felt myself being passed into someone's else's arms; it felt like I was floating. I watched distantly, fading, as Ghost stalked up to the alter. Even from behind, I could tell he was fuming.

"Julie Marie," he snarled viciously, standing at the edge of the alter, about five feet from where she was seated on her throne.  
"Excuse me Xander, I know you aren't using that tone with me," she hissed, "Especially after today's little incident."

"I'll use any fucking tone I want," he growled.  
"This wasn't apart of the plan," I heard Hattie mumble apprehensively near me.

"At least he finally stood up to her . . ." Joseph muttered.  
"Excuse me?" she demanded, seeming surprised and outraged.

"You heard me," he snapped at her, "I'm done taking orders from you, you hateful bitch."  
"That's where you're wrong sweetheart," she purred menacingly, "You're the bitch here. _My _bitch."

"God!" he exclaimed, grabbing at his hair in frustration, "You are so fucking screwed up! What _happened _to you?"  
"Whatever could you be talking about Xander?" she asked sweetly.

"I'm talking about what the hell happened to you to make you so . . . evil," he said, "You tried to kill your own son's girlfriend for God's sake!"  
"By the looks of things," she said, looking at me, "It seems that I succeeded."

That seemed to snap Ghost out of his blind anger. He regained his focus. "She's not dead," he said, "Not yet. You have to let Angel help her."  
"First off, I don't have to do anything," she pointed out, "And I'm getting quite aggravated with your defiance."

Suddenly, Ghost dropped to his knees, hard. I could hear him coughing wetly, even though it sounded like it was getting farther and farther away . . .  
"That's more like it," she said smugly, rising from her throne.

"Julie, darling," said Alonzo, "I find that your preoccupation with your former foster child is rather getting in the way of my plans."  
"Whatever could you mean love?" she asked, sounding slightly sarcastic as she walked over to where Ghost knelt and coughed.

"You had one of my most promising new vampires killed," he said, "Out of jealousy."  
She ignored him and took something out of her sleeve but I couldn't tell what it was due to my fading vision. She put it around Ghost's neck. "There," she said, "Seeing as I cut off your old collar to scare that little wretch.

"Answer me woman," Alonzo growled, seeming frustration.  
"I'm sorry?" she asked sweetly, "Were you saying something?"

"I said that you had kone of my most promising new vampires killed out of jealousy," he repeated tightly.  
"Jealousy?" she asked innocently, "I don't know the meaning of the word."

"Well if that's so then you won't mind what I'm about to say," he said, "Angel. I wish for you to heal Charlotte."  
"What! No!" exclaimed Julie Marie, getting up and whirling around. Her back to Ghost.

"She's too valuable to lose," Alonzo was saying while I noticed Ghost slowly getting to his feet.  
"She's an annoying pest!" she exclaimed, "She tried to kill me!"

"That's hardly an excuse," he said.  
"I won't allow her to be saved," Julie Marie said defiantly, "I won't allow it. Don't do it Angel, or I'll make you regret it."

Ghost was standing up behind her now. Without warning, he kicked Julie Marie in the back. Caught off guard, she flew forward and landed onto Alonzo, where he sat on his throne. Without hesitation, guards grabbed Ghost by the arms. He didn't struggle.

Julie Marie stood up and whipped around to glare daggers at Ghost. "How dare you!" she screeched, "You little whore!"  
Ghost didn't say anything.

"Take him to our room and lock him up," Julie Marie commanded of the guards, "Take him away before I do something rash."  
The guards obeyed, dragging Ghost away, down the isle. They walked right past us and nobody even reacted. The person carrying me, either Joseph or Diego, turned around to watch them go.

Ghost's face was grim as the guards pulled him towards the exit.  
"I've thought of one way I can punish you for your disgraceful behavior," Julie Marie hissed at him, "I'm going to kill your little girlfriend . . . Right here, right now. You even get to watch. It's a punishment, but I also think I'm doing her a slight courtesy. This way she won't have to suffer for days and fade slowly. But don't worry, there's still a punishment in this for you. I'm going to make this _nice _and _slow _and _bloody _and _painful _for her . . . And you get to watch the whole thing, knowing that it's all your fault."

Ghost suddenly stopped dead in his tracks, no longer allowing himself to be dragged passively. He stared at her in shocked mortification.  
Julie Marie descended the alter, with Angel and Selene hot on her heals.

"Julie," Alonzo called, standing up "I won't allow this."  
"Trust me darling, there's a human I know of that is much more valuable that I know of," she said, "Evie Finch."

Evie Finch? Sounded familiar. I wasn't sure . . . My mind was so heavy, my body growing cold . . . something I hadn't felt in months. I felt myself slipping away more every second.

"Well alright," he huffed, "You may kill this _one_ . . . But this human you promise better be worth her weight in gold. Or I'll have your head."  
"No problem deary," she said easily, getting closer and closer. The person carrying me backed up against the pews where the guards stood ready.

"Now step away children," Julie Marie purred, "I'm not allowed to kill any of _you_, but I won't hesitate to make you wish you were dead."  
I knew all my friends would gladly take torture to save me, which was what I was afraid of. Me dieing was bad enough, but them getting hurt because of me would be twice as bad.

"You can't do that!" came a loud, heated voice. Ghost was down the isle from us, struggling violently with his captors. Tears were falling from his eyes. I had just enough consciousness left to be mildly shocked by that. As far as I was concerned, Ghost never cried. I wasn't sure if it was my imagination, but the tears looked red to me. Really red. Like little droplets of tears falling from his eyes.

"Oh but I can Xander," she purred with a cruel smile, "I can do anything I want. To you. To anyone."  
"Who are you!" he cried, "Who are you and what have you done with _my _JM!"

Julie Marie's eyes went dark then, darker then before. She almost looked upset.  
"She's dead," she said coldly, "That part of me is dead. Get used to it whore. Because once I've finished off your little girlfriend, you'll be spending _a lot _of time alone with Mommy dearest to atone for your disobedience."

Bloody tears were falling freely from his equally as red eyes. In a lightning fast movement, he elbowed one of his captors and pulled something from his belt. He held it up and I could see that it was a wickedly sharp silver dagger.

_"I hate you!" _he screamed, throwing the knife at Julie Marie with deadly precision.


	44. I Don't Want To Leave

**Cause I Don't Want To Leave Without You Buried By My Side**

And just when I thought Julie Marie was going to be out of our lives for ever, Selene jumped in front of her. The knife plunged into her chest and she screamed as she collapsed to the ground. I didn't think the knife had pierced her heart though, since she was shorter then Julie Marie and Ghost had perfect aim. But either way, she was down for the count.

The second she went down I felt a little shot of energy. I still felt like I was on the verge of death but I felt just a tad better. I jolted and convulsed and whoever was holding me tensed, seeming alarmed.

I wasn't the only one who seemed to feel it. Ghost shuddered and then smiled. It wasn't a nice smile, or even a pleased one. He suddenly winked out of existence, and in the next second, the guards who had been holding him were on the ground.

"NO!" Julie Marie screeched.  
"Oh fuck yes!" shouted Hattie joyously and fire suddenly erupted in an explosion.

There was screaming and I felt myself being moved and then placed on the floor, or maybe a pew. I looked around as chaos ensued. The guards were all on their feet, trying to protect their king and queen. Several of them went down every second, being assaulted by some invisible entity. Fire was flying all over the place. Every so often I caught a glimpse of Diego, Joseph, or Hattie.

Guards would swing daggers at Diego and they would go right through him, and then he'd take them down with his bare hands. Joseph had obtained two knives and was taking down enemies left and right, his combat skills being his greatest offense. Hattie seemed to be having a wonderful time, giggling like a happy little girl while she shot fire from her palms.

I felt myself fading again . . . The smoke from the fire was adding to the haze that had already formed in my mind. Screams and shouts melted together into a chorus of torment. My body felt cold and heavy as darkness played at the edges of my foggy vision. My breathing was spiked and I was panting just to get oxygen into my lungs.

I felt myself slipping away again. _No, no, no, no, _I thought desperately, _This isn't happening to me. This can't be happening to me. I'm not dieing. I can't be dieing. _I struggled to hold on, refusing to go back to that horribly lonely place. I kept fighting, trying to think of everything I _didn't _want to let go of to keep me grounded.

My family . . . They were probably worried sick about me as it was, me going permanently missing would crush them. I couldn't leave my mom and dad or Paula and Dylan. And I couldn't leave Gran, or even Evie. She needed me.

My friends . . . They were probably just as freaked about me going missing. How could I never see them though? Darcy was my best friend and I couldn't even imagine never seeing her again. And Izzy . . . We'd been through so much together. Like the mountain lion incident which had transformed my entire life.

My new family; all the vampires back at HQ . . . Jessamine. Even though I'd been suspicious of her at first I'd eventually warmed up to her. She was actually pretty nice, when she wanted to be. And Sophia. She was always so kind and I had felt like I could trust her from the beginning. And Benjamin. He was always sweet and fun, a little like the older brother I never had. And of course Joseph, Diego, and Hattie. I'd grown so close to all of them, especially Hattie. And at the very moment, they were putting their lives in danger to protect me.

Ghost . . . Of all the things I couldn't live without he was the biggest. A world without Ghost was like a world without meaning for me. He was everything I would ever need, I was sure. He was the perfect match for me. He was clever and witty and even though he put on a cocky fade, he was really just as insecure as everybody else, more so probably. He was passionate and fiery without being a total hot head. He was dark without being unapproachable. His tastes matched mine and he could be selfless when he wanted to be. He was moody and it always left me guessing. I loved him more then life itself. If I couldn't been with him in the afterlife, I would've accepted death gladly. But if I died, I wouldn't be with Ghost . . . And I wouldn't even be able to hope that he would die and join me. I would never be able to wish for him to get hurt.

But even thinking about all that wasn't enough. I felt my heavy lids drooping, the scene around me fading away. I felt myself drifting, becoming more and more disconnected from my body until I wasn't even apart of it. I refused to leave this world but that didnt' mean I had a choice in whether I left my body.

_I was standing above my own body, looking down at myself. I was lieing on the tiled ground just off to the side of the chaos. My entire body was covered in lacerations, my clothes hanging around me in tatters. Every inch of visible skin had gashes on it. None of them were bleeding but dark blood soaked what remained of my clothes and stained my skin. My cream colored hair was a horribly __knotted mess, tangled with blood. My eyes were closed with dark circles underneath them. My lips were purple and slightly parted. My skin was so white it was translucent. I looked dead. Really dead. _

_I looked up from my body at the chaos all around me. Smoke wafted in the air and flames burned away everything in their path. Hattie was throwing the fire around with a sadistic smirk on her face. Joseph looked lethal as he cut down anyone who approached him. Diego seemed smug as guards tried to attack him and found that they went right through him. I couldn't see Ghost, but I still knew where he was. Guards were being eliminated by this invisible force. _

_Standing up on the alter all the way at the back was Julie Marie and Alonzo, protected by a circle of guards, including Angel. Julie Marie's head peaked out and I could tell she was looking at my unbreathing body by the way her lips twisted into a mockery of a smile. _

_I stood there, completly motionless, watching the fighting all around me, aware that I was dead. I kept watching though, feeling far away from it all even though it was happening not five feet from me. _

_There had to be at least two hundred guards . . . And my little group of four was kicking ass. Alonzo and Julie Marie obviously hadn't been very picky in their selection of vampires, because there didn't seem to be any remarkable gifts in the vicinity _

_After an endless amount of time, there seemed to be only about fourty guards left who weren't dead or unconscious. Julie Marie seemed just about sick with all of us this because she stepped out from behind the cover of her guards and screamed, "ENOUGH!" _

_All fighting ceased. I wasn't sure whether it was mind control at work or if everyone was just startled. I had no way of knowing though. Mind control doesn't work on the dead. _

_"Xander," she snapped icily, "Show yourself."  
I guessed it was mind control, because Ghost suddenly reappeared. He looked horrible, yet just the sight of him made me feel a thousand times better. Knowing that he was still alive even if I wasn't. _

_His button up shirt was no longer white. Instead it was soaked red with blood and the wet material clung to his torso. It was ripped in some places. His black pants were also saturated with blood and had holes in the knees. His usually straight hair was matted with blood, falling into his eyes. Bruises and cuts covered his skin. A collar hung from around his neck and he looked almost as dead as me. _

_"All you ever do is hurt yourself," Julie Marie said, "When will you learn?"  
__The only thing I didn't get was why she waited this long to stop the madness. Maybe she just liked watching other people get hurt and suffer. _

_"I'll let you know when that happens," he hissed, wiping blood from his mouth.  
"You are so foolish Xander," she clucked in disapproval, walking down from the alter. She walked right past Hattie, Joseph, and Diego. They didn't move at all. They just stared at her like they were under some kind of spell. _

_Julie Marie walked over to Ghost, where he stood a lot less docilely then all the others. He had his fists clenched at his sides and a scower on his face.  
"And stubborn," she said, standing inches from him and appraising his appearance, "Always stubborn. It's why you're more resistant to my power then the others. Or perhaps you've built up an immunity . . ."_

_"You make me sick, you heartless bitch," he snarled at her.  
She slapped him across the face and his head snapped to the side from the impact. I screamed furiously but nobody seemed to hear me. _

_He took the punishment without any retaliation. I wasn't sure if he had the spirit for it anymore. You could only kick a dog so many times before it stopped fighting back. _

_He lifted his eyes to look at Julie Marie with bitter resentment. None of the fiery passion I wanted to see in him again. It was like she'd killed his drive.  
"Hurting me isn't going to make me love you," he said icily. I wondered vaguely if he knew that I was dead. _

_"Care to test that theory, Pet?" she hissed, grabbing him by his shirt collar and flinging him on the floor. I wasn't surprised that she was able to. She'd been resting all day while Ghost fought for his life. _

_He hit the floor and nobody did anything. The guards were all still as stone. Alonzo looked kind of exasperated and impatient, like he'd seen this a thousand times. While Diego, Hattie, and Joseph looked like they were fighting against the mind control; twitching with frustrated looks on their faces. _

_"Do you love me now?" she growled mockingly at him as he got up on to his hands and knees. He was practically trembling from effort.  
She didn't wait for a response. "No? Well let's see if we can change that? Shall we?" she inquired and strolled over to him. She put a heeled foot on his back and put pressure down. His arms gave out then and he collapsed on his stomach on the floor. _

_I screeched furiously, unable to repress the urge to break something. I reached out for the pew next to me and my hand went right through it.  
Julie Marie rolled him over with her foot so that he was on his back, looking up at her. He looked exhausted and drained. _

_"Love me yet?" she inquired.  
"No," he hissed, tilting his head to the side and spitting blood onto the tile. _

_"I guess I'll have to hurt you more then," she mused, "To test your theory of course." She leisurely walked over to one of the bloody and hypnotized guards and took a silver blade from his belt. Realizing what she was going to do, I ran at her, wanting to kill her. But I just ran right through her. I screamed in frustration. _

_I was forced to watch on helplessly while she went back over to Ghost and knelt down. She then straddled him and smirked down at him. She snapped her fingers and a male guard came over and knelt down next to Ghost. He grabbed his wrist and held it down on the floor. _

_Julie Marie grabbed his other arm and flipped it so that it was palms up.  
"I hear you like this sort of thing," she said, her smile as sharp as the knife she held, "Though I can't imagine why."_

_Then she cut a long gash down the inside of his wrist. I screamed at the top of my lungs but nobody seemed to hear. Blood poured down Ghost's arm as he writhed in pain beneath her. He didn't make a sound though. _

_"Having fun?" she mocked as she drew another lash. She did several of these, starting at his elbow and working her way down to his wrist. These marks were all above the line she'd just made. Ghost was biting his lip as if to keep from crying out. _

_When she was done she switched with the guard, taking Ghost's other wrist while the guard took hold of his bleeding arm. She began to carve up the inside of this arm too though. She put her knife in deeper then before, taking her time as she cut him. He had seemed to be trying to stay quiet in the beginning, but had given up on that. He was whining and whimpering in pain now. _

_"Oh how I love your little noises," she gushed mockingly while she slashed his wrist, "So adorable."  
He was hardly fighting at all. He didn't seem to have the will or the strength anymore. _

_When she was finished with him he was panting, moaning in between each labored breath. Julie Marie smiled down at her work. Both of his arms were drenched in blood, covering the words she'd carved into them. But I still knew what it said._

_"Now you have a little taste of what your girlfriend felt before she died," Julie Marie hissed at him with a cruel smirk. Ghost's head snapped to the side immediatly, looking at my lifeless body. It was then, I believe, that he realized I was truly dead. _

_A shock seemed to go through his battered body and he looked up at his adoptive mother with grief and shock in his eyes.  
"How could you?" he demanded in the most heartbreaking voice. I began to cry then. The tears that rolled off my cheeks disappeared before hitting the ground. _

_"She brought it on herself," she said plainly, "You all did."  
He blinked and several bloody tears fell from his eyes, mixing with the blood smeared on his cheeks. _

_"I hate you," he whimpered quietly. Somehow, the words seemed harsher when he said them in this broken voice, opposed to when he'd screamed then.  
Julie Marie looked away from his face, at my lifeless body. As if she couldn't bare to look him in the eye. It was the first human reaction I'd ever seen in her._

_"You don't mean that," she said, still not looking at him.  
"I do," he whispered. I wasn't sure if he could manage anything more then that at the time. "I hate you."_

_"I've done so much for you," she insisted.  
"You turned me into your personal whore and killed the girl I love," he said, "You ruined my life." _

_"If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be a vampire," she said, sounding like she was in denial, "You'd be a helpless human."  
"I'd rather be helpless then hopeless."_

_Julie Marie was actually crying now. I couldn't believe it. This horrible creature had no right to emotions or tears.  
"I loved you," she cried, "I only ever wanted you."_

_"You never cared about what I wanted," he said in a dead voice. It was like a part of him had died with me. "You only ever cared about yourself."  
"I cared for you your whole life," she sobbed, "I gave you attention. I gave you my love. I gave you everything you could ever want."_

_"And then you took _everything_ away."_


	45. They'll Never Take Us Alive

**_They'll Never Take Us Alive_**

_"I'm so sorry baby," Julie Marie sobbed pitifully, "I'm so sorry baby."  
Ghost stared up at her with large red eyes full of sadness. "Don't call me that," he said, "I'm not your baby and you're not my mother."_

_She sniffed and cried some more. "I'm so sorry darling," she cooed in between sobs, running her fingers through his filthy hair, "I'm so sorry."  
"It's too late for sorry," he said coldly._

_Julie Marie's sobbing became more violent then, her tears falling onto Ghost's face. Everybody was watching on silently, except for Alonzo who actually checked his watch and huffed impatiently. Despite being marginally less cruel then Julie Marie, he was also significantly more desensitized. _

_I was crying too, but I had none of the ailments that were usually caused by a good crying jag. My eyesight wasn't blurry, my throat wasn't sore, and my knees weren't weak. Despite the tears flowing down my face, I was completely aware of everything. So I was the only one able to hear the almost silent footsteps as they came down the hall. I knew someone was coming. _

_When the doors at the back of the church flew open, hardly anyone reacted. All of the hypnotized guards were too telepathically stoned to do anything, and so were my friends. Ghost was half dead himself, pinned beneath Julie Marie, who was sobbing too intensely to notice anything. Alonzo was the only one to react by standing up and screaming, "Julie!" _

_It didn't matter though. Julie Marie had time to turn around but she didn't. A dagger flew through the air and into Julie Marie's shoulder. I knew that it hadn't immediatly killed her, but it still must've hurt marginally. She didn't make a sound though. _

_The dagger had been thrown by Jessamine. _

_Standing at the back of the church was a man who I knew was Cruz even though I'd never met him. He was flanked by Jessamine and Sophia, who were flanked by a ton of other vampires. They were all decked out in startlingly white hunting gear. _

_"You won," Cruz said, lifting and dropped his arm listlessly, "I swore not to come but I'm here after all . . . You won that round Alonzo. But you're going to lose this one."_

_The mind control had been lifted when Julie Marie had gotten hurt. Chaos ensued as the guards were awoken and our vampires fanned out. They charged up the isle but Julie Marie still had time for goodbye. _

_She __looked down at Ghost with eyes full of mourning. "I'll come back for you baby," she promised sadly, kissing him on the forehead before jumping up. She tore the dagger out of her shoulder and threw it down on the ground before running up the isle and then onto the alter. _

_"Goodbye everyone," she said as her and Alonzo turned around, and jumped right through the stain glass window behind them. It shattered as _real _chaos followed. The guards were fighting with our soldiers even though their leaders had fled into the ocean. _

_"Go die in hell bitches!" Hattie screamed, laughing devilishly as she set the huge hanging cross on fire. _

_There was fighting and fire everywhere, but my eyes were always for Ghost. He was on the ground, among the wreckage. He dragged himself across the floor, towards my lifeless body. He got close and checked my pulse, as tears fell from his eyes. _

_"Char?" he sobbed, "Char, _please _don't die Char . . . Please don't leave me Char. Please Char . . . I love you."  
My sobbing easily outmatched his. _

_"Come on Char," he begged, "Come on Char . . . Don't go . . . Please don't go. Please don't leave me . . . I need you, I love you."  
_"I love you too Ghost," _I cried but I knew that he couldn't hear me. _

_Still crying, I walked over to where Ghost was draped over my body. I went right through solid matter as if I didn't exist. I knelt down next to him where he was holding onto my dead body for dear life. I tried to pet his his hair and sooth him but I phased through everything I touched. I sobbed without reserves while Ghost cried and cried for me. _

_The fighting was going on all around us, but nobody even came near Ghost or my lifeless body. Even when the fighting was over and all was quiet, we stayed like that. There were bodies and broken furniture everywhere. The hanging cross burned softly. _

_I saw Cruz approach us while everyone watched on silently and mournfully.  
"Xander," he said softly, kneeling down and shaking Ghost's shoulder gently. _

_Ghost was lying next to my body, holding on to my cold hand. His other hand was on my hair. He'd been stroking it before but had seemed to have lost the strength, or the will, to. _

_"Xander," he repeated, "You have to let her go."  
"I think we're going to have to move him," Jessamine spoke up, "He's not going to let her go . . . If he even can."_

_Cruz nodded and Benjamin came forward. He had blood on his white clothes but looked mostly undamaged. He appeared horribly sad though as he walked over to us. He grabbed Ghost by the waist and dragged him away from me. He didn't move at all, even as Sophia tried to examine his wounds. _

_"This is truly tragic," said Jessamine as a tear escaped her eye, "Charlotte was a good person. She'll be missed. I'll miss her."  
"I only wish I could've gotten the chance to meet her," Cruz said, looking down at my body, "I heard she was exceptional." _

_"Wait!" came Hattie's voice, "She still has a chance!"  
Everyone looked over to where Hattie was pulling a struggling, bloody person by the wrists. It was Angel. _

_"Hattie," sighed Jessamine mournfully, "Even _she _can't bring back the dead."  
__"Yes she can!" she insisted, "She brought back Julie Marie. She can bring back Lottie."_

_"No!" Angel screeched, "I can't do it! I can't do it! You can't make me!"  
"You wanna bet?" Hattie challenged as her hands began to glow and Angel began to scream._

_"Okay! Okay! I'll try! I'll try! Just please stop!" she begged, "Please! Please don't hurt me!"  
"Save Lottie and I won't," Hattie snarled, pushing her forward. She fell onto her knees next to my body. She moved her hands over my body without actually touching it. Everyone was quiet. _

_"She's been dead for almost two hours," she said finally, "I've never brought someone back whose been dead more then a few minutes. I don't know if I'll be able to do it."_

_"Try . . . Try like your life depends on it," snarled Ghost from where he sat on the floor several feet away. Sophia sat behind him with her arms wrapped around him. I wasn't sure if she was comforting him or restraining him. Restraining really didn't make much sense though, considering the fact that he looked like he was going to drop any second. Despite his snapping, he still had bloody tears running down his bruised and cut face. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair matted with blood, and his skin was paler then usual. He still looked completely devastated but I could tell that just having that one shred of hope to cling onto had made an improvement in him._

_"I'll try," she hissed at him, "But I can't make any promises."  
Hattie leaned over Angel and whispered in her ear, "You better try _very _hard."_

_A shudder passed through Angel and she rolled her shoulders restlessly. She put her hands out like she was going to touch my neck.  
"No, wait," Cruz interrupted, "We should get out to the boat first . . . Before anybody else comes. _Somebody _has to be operating this thing."_

_"Good idea," Jessamine agreed, "Diego, get Lottie, and Benjamin you get Ghost."  
"No, no," Ghost interjected, "I can walk."_

_Shakily, he struggled to his feet. His eyes were on my body the whole time, which I knew couldn't help his condition.  
"See? Perfectly fine," he said but he was swaying unsteadily. _

_"Ghost, your arms are pouring blood," Jessamine said with a sigh, "You shouldn't be standing."  
"Don't worry about me. I'm . . . I'm f-fine," just before he finished speaking, his strength wavered and his knees gave out. He grabbed onto the edge of a pew for support and I flinched forward automatically to help him. That was before I remembered that I was just a spirit of course. _

_"Benjamin, help him. Ghost, if you want to save Lottie we have to be quick. This is no time for your pride," Jessamine said sternly.  
I vaguely heard Ghost mumble under his breath, "What pride?" as Benjamin walked over to him and drew Ghost's arm around his shoulder, supporting him. _

_Diego lifted my body into his arms and I followed the entire procession as they exited the chapel. Everyone was on red alert as they skulked down the halls and finally to a large window, probably one of three in the entire place. _

_The window was open . . . Well actually it was broken but still. Below, in the dark water, was a boat. It looked small in comparison to this massive floating castle that dared called itself a boat, but it was actually pretty big. It was a yacht that could've easily belonged to some billionaire. It was white and sleek and spacious. It was probably about a fifty foot drop from the window down to it. _

_We all jumped out one by one, even the half dead Ghost was able to execute the jump succesfully, even though he nearly killed himself. Once we were on the boat, whoever was running it, unanchored and started the engine before the procession was even downstairs. _

_We all went into the cabin below, a large and luxurious area. There was a _very_large common room with comfy looking couches scattered around, a televison, a bookcase, ect ect. Cruz told most of the vampires to stay in there while a few of us (Hattie, Angel, Jessamine, Cruz, Benjamin, Sophia, Joseph, Diego, my body _and _my spirit__) went into a large bedroom off to the side. _

_My body was placed onto the bed and Angel knelt beside it. Benjamin helped Ghost into a armchair in the corner while the others all hovered by the side, looking worried and nervous. _

_Angel took a deep breath, rolling her shoulders to relax. She exhaled in a determined sort of way, and put her hands to my neck, on the grotesque wound there. Moments after her magical healing hands touched the bloody slash there, it healed up. There was still a faint pink mark there, but nothing really noticable._

_"Can you get with the reviving?" Diego snapped at Angel. He hardly had a scratch on him. The beauty of being able to phase through solid matter.  
"I have to heal these wounds first," she snapped back, "Or she'll just die the second I bring her back."_

_"She has a lot of wounds," Joseph noted. He had a considerable amount of wounds himself but nothing sever by what I could see.  
"Yes . . . Which is why you all need to shut up so I can heal her before it's too late," she growled at him. _

_That shut everyone up but I could tell that everybody was uncomfortable of going to Angel for help. Seeing as she had once been a trusted, and even loved, friend and was now a loathsome, dishonorable traitor. It was awkward, to say the least._

_Angel went around meticulously healing all my cuts. It probably took her around a half an hour to heal them all. I looked a little less scary without any gashing wounds, but I was still covered in blood with my clothes hanging in tatters. The whole time, everyone was basically silent, just watching on mournfully. Sophia had tried to tend to Ghost's injuries but he wouldn't let her, he was as transfixed on the healing session as I was. The success rate of it was of dire important to both of us; the outcome would mean everything. _

_"She's been dead over two hours now," whined Hattie, "Are you going to try and bring her back _now?"  
_"Yes," Angel snapped back, "But it has to be _dead _silent. Emphasis on dead."_

_"Not funny," Ghost mumbled. His eyelids were half open and he was slumped in his seat. I felt like he was running solely on willpower then.  
"It wasn't a joke," she growled at him. "Now, it would probably be best if everybody just _shut up_ so I can try and bring her back. Believe it or not, I actually don't want her to die."_

_"You never liked Lottie," Hattie accused.  
"That's not true," she snapped, "I was under Julie Marie's spell . . . You know what that feels like. Especially you Ghost."_

_Ghost's half open eyes were trained on the floor, as if he was too ashamed to meet anyone's eyes.  
"You brought her back," Hattie growled at her, "_You_'re responsible for this. All of this." _

_"I just wanted to help," Angel said, seeming like she was on the verge of tears, "I didn't know it was all a plan. I didn't know she was that bad."  
"Whatever. You can explain yourself another time," she hissed, kicking her, "For now just focus on bringing back Lottie and I won't set you on fire."_

_"Ladies," snapped Cruz, "Enough arguing. Angel, just do what you came here to do."  
Angel nodded and then got to work. She placed a hand on my chest and closed her eyes. She took several deep breaths and everyone watched on silently and somberly. _

_She placed the thumb of her other hand on my forehead and took another breath. "Live Charlotte," she whispered, "Live."  
Even from my otherworldly vantage point I couldn't tell exactly what was taking place. But I suddenly felt myself, my spirit, being pulled towards my body. It was like some kind of rope attached to my insides, pulling me closer and closer. _

_And then suddenly I was yanked back into my body. _

The last time I'd been alive, I'd felt like death. But now I felt amazing. Perfect. Nothing hurt and I didn't feel tired at all. My hearing was perfectly clear, like it hadn't been since that guard had attacked me. I thought it was weird that I felt so good after dieing . . . Even if I'd been healed shouldn't the lack of blood complicated things?

"I got a pulse!" Angel shouted triumphantly.  
"_Holy crap,_" muttered Joseph, sounding surprised and awed.

And when I opened my eyes, everything was in perfect clarity. Angel was leaning just above me. Blood dripped off her face but she was smiling. Despite the fact that I detested her greatly for betraying us, I had never been so happy to see her. To see anything with my own two eyes.

"And we have life," she said.

"Lottie! Oh my God, Lottie!" Hattie cried.  
"Oh my God, I can't believe it. Angel _actually _did it!" Diego exclaimed.

Angel's head whipped around to glare at him. I made a motion indicating for her to move and then sat up when I had room. I took in everything I could, starving for things that made me feel like everything was real. I reveled in the touch of the soft bed underneath. When I was a ghost, I couldn't feel anything. And I rejoiced at the smells of blood and vampires in the crowded room.

When I saw Ghost, I truly knew that I was alive. Seeing him with these real eyes was completely different then seeing him from beyond the beyond. Despite how _awful _he looked right then, I had never been more happy to see anything ever. He was slumped low in his seat and he looked like he was struggling to keep his eyes open, let alone keep his head up. He was covered in cuts and bruises and drenched in blood; his arms had the most blood on it though. The amount of blood on his arms was unsettling, but still, it was better then seeing what was carved into the skin underneath. Ghost was staring at me with awe and reverence, his lips parted like he wanted to say something but no words came out.

"Charlotte, are you alright?" asked Jessamine, looking at me with concern.  
"Alright? I feel great! I'm alive! I've never felt better in my life," I exclaimed, jumping to my fight. Almost everyone flinched foward like they expected me to fall. I didn't.

"Oh Lottie!" Hattie cried, hugging me tightly. Joseph, Diego, Benjamin, and even Jessamine joined in for a group hug. I laughed as they all told me how glad they all were that I was okay and that I was alive. When we pulled apart, my eyes immediatly went to the barely conscious Ghost who was watching me like I was the living God.

"Congrats Angel," Hattie said, "I hate you slightly less now."  
Angel smiled a genuine smile as she rose to her feet shakily. "Thanks."

"Keep in mind I still hate you," she reminded her.  
"I expected as much," Angel sighed.

"Well . . . as truly, truly happy as I am right now," Hattie said, touching my arm sympathetically, "I _need _to go take a shower. I'm covered in blood and ash."  
"Screw the shower," said Joseph, "I'm taking a fucking nap."

"I'm with you on that," Diego said. Each of them touched my arm comfortingly before exiting.  
"I'll . . . just be . . . going now . . . Seeing as the awkward level just went up a few knotches. So um . . . I think I'll just go get Lottie something to drink," Benjamin said before slipping out the door.

"Would you care to talk about your expeirence Lottie?" Jessamine wondered in a soft voice.  
"Jessie, poor Charlotte has been through enough today. Oh so sorry Charlotte, I forgot that you don't know me. I'm Cruz," he said, sticking out his hand. I shook it.

"I've heard of you," was all I said, even though I fully recognized him without him even knowing.  
"I'm sure you have," he said with a smile. "Anyway, as I was saying, I think Charlotte deserves some rest before we start questioning her, don't you agree Sophia?"

"Fully," said Sophia, who was knelt down in front of Ghost's chair, looking skeptic, "But while she recooperates, Angel? Could you possibly heal Ghost? He's in bad shape . . . I'm surprised he's still awake."

I wasn't sure if 'awake' was the correct word. More like 'techniqually conscious.' His eyes had dropped closed, his head lolled back against the back of the chair. Actually, maybe he wasn't even conscious.

"No, I'm sorry. " she sighed, "But bringing back the dead takes a lot out of person. I can't do anymore healing today . . . Actually, I won't be healing anybody for a while. Bringing back Lottie drained all my power reserves. It's going to be a long time before I'll be healing scratches let alone anything that severe."

"Oh . . . Well in that case can someone get me some guaze so I can wrap up his arms. I don't even think I want to know why they're so bloody," she said, "Angel, Lottie, why don't you go rest? We'll talk with you two later."

"Thank you," Angel mumbled, stumbling from the room, seeming exhausted.  
"I'll stay," I said, "I want to make sure Ghost's okay."

"I'll go get the med kit," Jessamine said, disappearing.  
"Cruz, could you put Ghost on the bed for me?" Sophia asked.

"Sure," he said and picked up Ghost and carried him over to the bed, as easily as Diego had carried me.  
After placing the barely conscious Ghost Cruz said, "I really do need to go speak with our captain . . . Talk about course adjustments . . ." With a quick, formal, little bow he was out the door.

I went over to the bed and looked down at him."Ghost?" I asked quietly. I considered nudging him, but I was afraid I'd hurt him.  
Jessamine returned with a first aid kit which she gave to Sophia.

"Think you could get me a wet rag?" she asked.  
"Certainly," Jessamine agreed, vanishing again.

"Did he pass out?" I asked Sophia.  
Ghost mumbled. It was mostly unintelligible but I caught a few words. They didn't make any sense.

"More or less," Sophia said with a shrug, "I'm just concerned with his arms. What happened to them?"  
The memory cut through my mind like knives. Not just because it was so horrible to recall Julie Marie holding Ghost down, carving into his arms. But because remembering that meant remembering the whole ordeal. Which I wasn't ready for. I repressed any memories immediately, refusing to think about it at the time being.

I shook my head at her, to clear my thoughts. She probably thought it was a sad sort of head shake. "Julie Marie," was all I said.  
She seemed to understand. She nodded. "We got word of her involvement shortly after your abduction," she mumbled, "Tragic it is."

I nodded in agreement as Jessamine appeared, two wet cloths in hand. She gave them to Sophia before sitting down on the bed to watch. Sophia took one wet rag and then I, being unusually slow, realized what she wanted the rags for. But in my defense, I _had_ just been resurrected.

"Wait - don't," I said as she was about to wash the blood off his arms.  
"Why not?" she asked, seeming confused.

"You don't want to see what his arms look like," I said. I knew that I was being irrational but I didn't care.  
"It's fine Lottie," she soothed as she began gently washing the blood off his arms, "I've seen many grotesque wounds in my time."

"None like this I bet," I muttered, picking up a rag. I began to wash off his arms, attempting to be as gentle as possible. Either I was failing miserably, or Julie Marie had seriously fucked up his arms, because no matter how softly I pressed, Ghost seemed to be in intense pain. Despite being completly unaware of his surrondings, he was obviously aware of the pain.

"JM, stop . . . Stop please, you're hurting me," he pleaded hazily, seeming to think Julie Marie was doing this to him. Which was just heartbreaking. I shared looks with Sophia and Jessamine that told me that they agreed fully.

"JM, that hurts . . . JM stop . . . Please . . . Please stop," he continued to beg. I truly wanted to stop just so he wouldn't hurt anymore. After all, he'd done so much for me in recent events. Rescueing me from my tormentor, begging his wretched foster mother to have Angel save, being willing to kill the women he'd once considered his mother for me . . .

When we were done washing the blood off, it took a quick second for Sophia and Jessamine to realize why I'd said they wouldn't want to see it. They both gasped simultaneously.

"What kind of person would do this?" Sophia demanded, fuming, "Never have I seen a mother do something so horrible to her own child."  
"I wish I could say the same . . ." murmured Jessamine, her eyes sad.

"This is - this is outrageous!" she exclaimed, "The most horrible thing I've seen in half a century . . . It's just so . . . cruel."  
"Unusually cruel," agreed Jessamine solemnly.

Because there were jagged, bloody, _deep _slashes cut into the inside of Ghost's arms. They were so grotesque that the carver would've had to really _dig _her knife into his skin. That wasn't the worst part though. The slashes were actually letters, which in turn were actually words. On his left arm, one word stretched from his elbow to his wrist. And on his right, another word started at his wrist and extended up to his elbow. The two words created a name, a name that spoke of sick cruelty and dark betrayal.

Julie Marie.


	46. I Just Want To Be With You

**I Just Want To Be With You**

"I've been looking for you."

We were standing on the deck of the yacht, all alone. It was dark out. Ghost was leaning over the railing, looking down at the water. He looked worlds better then he had before. Just like me, he was dressed in new white clothes. His arms were bandaged up to the elbow. He was all clean and free of blood, which was refreshing. His hair looked soft and fluffy seeing as he hadn't straightened it. He had a few cuts on his face but nothing too bad. He had shadows under his eyes though despite sleeping for the last twenty four hours.

"What a coincidence. I've been avoiding you," he mumbled.  
Even though that wasn't what I wanted to hear, I was just glad he was using sarcasm again.

I approached him and stood directly next to him. I looked down at the black water, watching little waves ripple from the motor. Ghost was staring at it with a blank expression but his hands were gripping the metal railing for dear life.

I looked up at the horizon. Despite the darkness I could see fine. Everything was just a darker color. The ocean looked very pretty at night with the moon and the stars reflecting off of it.

"The water's very pretty," I said after a pause.  
"I hate water," he snarled.

"I guess that makes sense," I said, trying to sound casual, "After the accident and everything."  
"No," he said, "I hated water even before that."

"Any particular reason?" I wondered.  
"None that I want to discuss with you," he said pointedly.

I decided to let it go. He'd been through enough. We both had. The affects of everything had finally hit me when I'd been in the shower earlier. I'd gone to take a shower after helping Sophia with Ghost. When I'd gotten in the shower and had a chance to think about everything that had happened, it hit me. I'd suddenly been terrified. Terrified of Julie Marie coming for me. Terrified of dying. Terrified of never being able to live again. Terrified of never being with Ghost. I'd never been more afraid in my life.

It had taken me a while to compose myself. Once I had I'd gotten dressed in some new clothes I had shakily gone back into the bedroom, jumping at little noises. I'd found that the room was empty, except for Ghost, passed out and bloody on the bed. I had gladly joined him, feeling exhausted. I'd slept for an entire day and when I'd woken up, Ghost had been gone. I'd looked all around the cabin for him and Jessamine had told me he was outside.

"Anything else you'd like to discuss?" I wondered.  
"Like what?" he asked but I could tell that he knew exactly what.

"About what happened," I said, a slight tremor to my voice, "About your mom."  
"What mom? I have no mom," he snarled, flipping his arms over and showing them to me. The blood from his gashes had bled through his bandages so the words _Julie Marie _were visible.

I pushed down my revulsion and hate. "Well then would you like to talk about Julie Marie?"  
He shook his head no.

"Would you like to talk about Alonzo?"  
He shook his head no.

"Is there _anything_ you'd like to talk about?"  
He turned and looked deep into my eyes, giving me a 'really?' look. "C'mon, you know me Char. Do I ever like to talk?"

I sighed. He had a good point. "Well I can't argue with you there."  
"No, I guess you can't."

I paused for a long moment before responding. "Ghost," I said suddenly, "Do you believe in heaven?"  
He looked at me then, looked right into my eyes. "Why do you ask?"

"Do you or don't you?" I pressed.  
"I do," he said, surprising me.

"You do?" I asked.  
"Shocking, I know . . ." he said.

"Have you . . . have you always?" I wondered.  
"Ever since - nevermind actually . . . But I guess you could say I have for a very long time. Why did you want to know?"

"Because . . . because I think I was there," I admitted.  
"Really?" he asked although he didn't seem as surprised as he should've been.

"Yeah . . . When I - when I died," I chocked out. I still wasn't one hundred percent comfortable talking about that. And I probably never would be.  
"Both times?" he wondered, surprising me again. Most people would ask what it was like . . .

"No . . . Just the first time. I don't know why though . . . But-but I was in this beautiful forest. The leaves on the trees were every color you could imagine," I continued in a trance like voice, "It was sunny but it didn't bother me. When I laughed, this pink sparkly mist would float up from my mouth . . . And then you were there."

"How could I be there?" he asked, "I'm not dead."  
For some reason, that stung. It just brought back memories of when I was in 'heaven' and Ghost had left me.

"I don't know . . . I was in some kind of spirit world though, I'm pretty sure anything is possible there. It really seemed like that. I was with you . . . but you were different. Your eyes were green and you weren't as pale. You still had your gift though, and you weren't blind . . . You said we could do anything we wanted. I wanted to go swimming."

Ghost shuddered. "I hate water," he said.  
"Well I guess that proves that it wasn't you," I mumbled.

"Well, continue," he urged.  
"Oh right," I said, "So you took me to this . . . pond I guess, or maybe a lake. Anyway, it was gorgeous. There was a waterfall and the water was all different colors . . . Like a painting almost. Rainbow bubbles rose up from the river, kind of like backwards rain. There were mermaids there . . . faeries too. We went swimming and played in the water. It was . . . It was more fun then I'd had in a long time . . .And then I wanted us to be alone. And then we were. Everyone else was gone . . . It suddenly became dark out and then it started snowing.

"We-we laid next to each other in the sand . . . And you - and you kissed me like you haven't in a really long time. You told me how much you loved me and . . . And I had never been happier before in my entire life."

I took a deep breath, feeling like I was going to have an emotional breakdown just thinking about all this. "And then . . . You said that if I wanted to stay in heaven I had to let go of my entire life. Even you . . . I didn't want to but you said - you said that you weren't like me. That you weren't dead. And then - and then you left me. All alone."

I started sobbing then. I hated crying in front of other people. Most people do I guess. But I really _really _hated it, especially since becoming a vampire. I guess all of the undead are just proud by nature.

But I couldn't help myself. Just thinking about being trapped in that horribly lonely place, knowing that I was going to be alone for all eternity, was horrible. It wasn't just that in that place, I didn't have the love of my life, it was that I didn't have _anybody. _I'd been alone and scared and just completely broken. I was glad to be back but the fear was still there. I could always die again . . . And then I'd be back in that horrible place.

While I bawled Ghost wrapped his arms around me in an unfamiliar gesture. Unfamiliar from him that is. Then again, I'd never needed Ghost to comfort me before. Until now. I cried into his shoulder while he stroked my hair soothingly, the way I'd done to him when he'd been sick.

"It was so horrible," I sobbed, my voice cracking, "I was all _alone. _And I knew that I would be alone forever, without you."  
"Shhh," he cooed, "It's okay. I'm right here. You don't have to go back there ever again, I promise."

"But what if - what if something happens to me?" I whimpered, "What if I get killed again?"  
"I won't let anything happen to you," he assured me, "Nobody is ever going to hurt you again. I promise."

I kept on sobbing. I couldn't seem to get a handle on myself. "I don't want to die," I weeped.  
"You're not going to die," he promised, "You're a vampire. You're going to live forever."

"I-I can still die."  
"I won't let you."

"But you - you can't protect me from everything," I cried.  
"I can try. And if God forbid you did have to go back there again, I'd be right behind you," he vowed.

I looked up at him, getting what he was implying. He was staring down at me looking grimly serious.  
"N-no," I said feebly, getting a hold of myself, "I couldn't-couldn't let you do that."

"I would never want to live in a world without you Char," he told me, "I don't even want to remember my life before I met you. After the accident, I didn't care about _anything. _But you . . . you gave me something to live for again Char."

It was so sappy and so romantic and so . . . just not like Ghost that a few more tears fell from my eyes. Granted, they were already sitting in my eyes from my previous sobbing.  
"I love you too," I said quietly.

"I've never loved someone as much as I love you," he said, touching my face gently, "Not my own parents or even . . . or even Julie Marie. You . . . you're my whole world. I know I don't . . . I don't tell you how I feel most of the time. It's just that I'm not . . . one hundred percent . . . comfortable talking about this sort of thing. But I mean it when I say that you're everything to me. No matter how corny it sounds."

And a few more tears escaped my eyes.

I laughed shakily. "When we first met . . . I thought you were so _annoying. _But even back when you were harrassing me to come with you, I still felt a connection to you. I thought it was just a stupid crush . . . But the more I got to know you, the stronger it got. I couldn't shake it . . . And after a while, I didn't want to anymore."

He smiled at me. "Even before I even saw you I thought you were amazing. I'd read your file before going on assignment with Ben. There hadn't been much in it yet before the mission. But even just imagining a human girl who was 5'1 and only fifteen, _stabbing _a lion to protect her friends was uneblievable to me. And then . . . when I saw you for the first time . . . It was like . . . That connection you were going on about . . . Like instant chemistry. You were dancing around your kitchen while you made dinner, singing _Britteny Spears _songs and wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt two sizes to big for you . . . But I thought you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen."

I couldn't believe he was saying all this stuff. This was so unlike him . . . But I couldn't think of a single time in my life where I'd felt more loved.  
"Do you remember when you first told me you loved me?" I asked, "And I didn't believe you . . . So you started listing all the reasons _why _you loved me. And all I had to say afterwards was that I loved you too. Well . . . do you want to hear _my _list?"

He nodded silently. I knew him well enough to know that he was trying to avoid saying something sarcastic and ruining the moment.  
"I love how smart and funny you are. I love how mysterious you are, even if it irks me sometimes. I love how one minute you can be this deadly hunter and the next you're my best friend."

"And I love the message tees you always wear. I love how you fix your hair a certain way and then don't give a damn about it for the rest of the day. I love how you always manage to look sexy no matter how horrible a situation we're in."

He laughed lowly at that and shook his head.

"I love how pessimistic you can be. I love how you never want to talk about things but you always end up anyway. I love how I never know what you're thinking or what you're going to do next. I love how you make me laugh while I'm crying. I love how you can protect me without being overbearing. And I love how you can be vulnerable without being weak. I love how you're willing to do anything for me."

"And I hate how you're impossible to figure out. I hate how you're better then me at just about anything. I hate how your hair always looks better then mine. I hate how you share what you're thinking with me but you never let me in. I hate how you won't let anyone help you. And I hate how powerless you make me feel. I hate how you make me love you so much."

He smiled at me and it reminded me of how I would do anything to see him smile like that.  
"I hate you too," he said, still smiling.

"I hate you more," I said, smiling in return, and clinging to him even tighter.  
"And I don't care about anything else," he told me, "As long as I have you, nothing else matters. I mean it."

"If I had to choose between you and every other person I've ever met. I would pick you," I agreed.  
"No matter what happens next, I promise that I will always love you," he told me.

"Do you . . . do you think that something bad's going to happen?" I asked nervously.  
"I _know _that something bad is going to happen. Something bad _always _happens . . . But it doesn't matter, as long as I have you, nothing else will ever matter."

I had never been happier in my entire life. Heaven couldn't compare to this. I was on a yaght, at night, under the full moon. None of that was what made it so great though. It was Ghost. Standing there with his arms around me, protecting me, was the most amazing feeling ever. And I realized that he was right, about everything. As long as I had him, I could get through anything. He was right about something else though; things could never stay happy for long. Something was going to happen eventually. Something bad.

Because something bad always happens.

* * *

THE END

_LOL JK . . . Scared you though didn't I? But seriously, this is the end of Beware Of Vampire . . . But there will be a sequel . . . Soon . . . For now it'll be called Beware Of Bad Blood. check in tomorrow and it should be up . . . If not, then the day after. Anyway, I'd like to say thanks to all my awesome reviewers! You guys rock . .. Oh and to those of you who may think a sequel is unnesecary and just drawing things out . . . Well you would be wrong. I still have a lot to uncover. For example . . . _

_Who is Bambi? Why was Ghost taken away from his parents? Why does he hate water and what made him believe in heaven? What happened to make Julie Marie so evil and what's her next move? What's the deal with Evie? Will she become a vampire? Whatever happened to Hattie's old friend Cam? What's up with Jessamine and Cruz? Will Lottie ever tell her family she's a vampire? And how is she handling her near death experience?_

_Well you'll just have to read the sequel to find out :) _


End file.
